Life as I experience it
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
12,804
Reviews:
27
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
4
Views:
12,804
Reviews:
27
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 2 - The knowledge of truth holds consequences
Title: Life as I experience it
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Life as I know it…. Harry and Severus embark on a life together as Dominant and submissive but does Harry’s increasing ‘sense of worth’ pose a problem for their relationship?
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it. This wonderful world belongs to JK Rowling and her publishers. I’m making no money out of this and am only writing this for my own pleasure as well as those reading this.
Warnings: This fic is BDSM! It will contain elements of chan (flash backs) and it WILL NOT contain MPreg. Non-con and dub-con through flash backs. Bondage!
AN: Thank you Tina R for your review. I have considered everything you wrote and have made my decision. Thank you for your input!!
Picking up their plates Severus put them in the wash basin where the elves would find them and then realized that this was also not normal behavior for Harry. He would usually make sure that everything was neatly packed away before leaving their rooms. Why hadn’t he done so this morning?
Chapter 2 – The knowledge of truth holds consequences
Harry concentrated as hard as he could on the assignment in front of him. It was their NEWTS and Harry was sitting the last of his exams. As luck would have it, it was Potions, practical.
He would have loved to have done his potions at the beginning of the exams, not only would the work still have been fresh in his mind but all the exams since have worn him out. Harry gripped the desk in front of him as his vision blurred but he stubbornly refused to alert his Professor to the problem and went on with completing the potion.
He knew that his Master/Professor would have him sent off to the hospital wing before he could even finish explaining what was wrong and he really, really did not want to miss this exam. He had studied hard for this and was proud of how well he knew he was doing, despite his blurred vision.
Whatever was wrong with him could wait until later, nothing was as important at that moment as passing that particular NEWT with flying colors.
As the last hour of the exam drew to a close, Harry bottled up his potion and presented it to his Professor. Severus looked Harry deep in the eye and Harry could clearly see that his Master knew that something was wrong. Giving the man a soft half smile, Harry turned around and packed his things up. He really did not want to worry his Master too much; heaven knew that the man already worried way too much about him, especially lately. Harry had no idea what had happened to cause his Master to act the way he did but something obviously had.
Harry slowly made his way back to their quarters. His blurred vision was causing him a headache and he couldn’t wait to return to his room and just lay down to sleep, after taking a headache cure of course.
Draco intercepted him about two hallways from his Master’s chambers but only followed him silently.
As they closed the door behind them Draco led him to the couch and pushed him into it.
“You look like the walking dead Harry. Are you feeling alright? Does the Professor know? Will you still be able to look after Shamoné this weekend? Sit still, I’ll get you a potion or something.”
Harry could only blink at Draco as the boy continued his rambling. He had no idea what had everyone worried so suddenly but as he still felt fairly weak, he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Draco refused to leave him alone and insisted on staying with him until his Master returned from his final exam class.
Not knowing what to say, if anything, Harry just nodded and fished out his journal. He had continued writing in it from time to time since he received it from his Master. Flipping to about half way through, Harry stared at the little poem he had written. It was incomplete still, but Harry continued re-writing it every year – or adding on to it as he had for the previous two years.
The knowledge of truth holds consequences
Touching, feeling, hearing, seeing is my practice;
Pain and fear and distress have no justice.
My thoughts and hopes and dreams disappear,
Everything and anything I have held dear.
My life is changing, I’m thrown away,
Someone new, my heart and life his way sway.
Touching, feeling, hearing, seeing has new meaning;
Trust and peace and care I am now gaining.
My heart is full, my soul is aching,
I fear the time I will be waking.
I have changed, I feel complete,
I dread the time I find his deceit.
Harry re-read the last part of his little poem and cringed at what he had written there the previous year. He knew his Master loved him, cared for him and would never, ever deceive him but yet he had to wonder why he would write such a thing.
Was his heart, his soul telling him something that his mind refused to believe? No, no, Harry knew his Master, he knew Severus well enough to know that about him. Yet, he did not erase that part of the poem but he continued on to write a new stanza.
Hurts and pains gained through life is waning,
My life, my heart and soul is trembling;
I have found the protector of my life, of me,
For in his presence I can simply be.
Reading it over twice, Harry gently closed the book and rested his hands on it. He knew that as the years had passed, he had changed. How much he had changed however only really hit him when he read his poem. To someone else, it might just sound like a little rambling of melancholy, but for him it meant everything. His whole life was written in those few lines and to see the changes from his own perspective over the years was enlightening.
The first stanza he had written when he’d first received the journal. It had not really been a part of, or beginning of a poem as such, but rather just his outlook on life.
Later, when he’d decided to expand on that first part, he’d decided to write it as a poem and had left two whole pages open for whenever he felt like writing something more.
Looking up for the first time since he’d fished out the book, Harry was startled to find both Draco and his Master softly conversing on the other side of the room.
“Good evening Master. I’m sorry for not realizing that you have returned. Would you like me to get you anything? Some tea maybe?”
Master Severus walked over to him and planted a soft kiss on his forehead before looking him over with a critical eye.
“No my little one. Draco told me that you have been sitting there reading and writing in your journal the whole afternoon. I think it’s time for you to take a nice hot shower and then retire for bed. I will come to check on you in half an hour.”
Harry tried to protest but his Master effectively shooed him out of the room and he decided to just relax and do as he was told.
He knew his Master would look after him.
*------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Severus was very tempted to look and find out what his little Harry had written but decided against it. Even though he knew Harry would not protest against the idea, it was still very private and he would not interfere without asking Harry’s permission first – if and when he found it absolutely necessary.
Turning back to Draco, Severus continued to ask the boy if he had seen anything else about Harry that was cause for concern.
They had both decided that fatigue was a definite symptom to whatever was ailing Harry as well as unsteadiness on his feet which they had yet to find a cause for. Severus was of a mind that maybe Harry’s eyes needed a check-up for his glasses could be the problem.
As Draco left, Severus returned to his bedroom and silently slipped in behind a sleeping Harry.
He would talk to the boy about his behavior tomorrow, and hopefully, they would have some idea as to what was wrong with him.
End Chapter 2
Okay, so what did you think??
The poem that Harry wrote/is writing, is something that I myself wrote for this story. I’m writing it as I go along with the fic so I might add more stanza’s as I see fit.
I’ve realized that even though I have read a whole lot of fics with child abuse in it, I have never really done any research into how it really affects the child and the rest of our world.
I came across a very interesting page while researching this exact thing (this morning) and will include the link here for those of you who are as interested in this as I am.
More research into child abuse, sexual abuse and mental problems caused by this will be done throughout the fic but I will say this now; not everything you read in this fic are absolute facts or found in each and every child abuse case. I will incorporate that which I read as I see fit and so, the things happening to Harry and the things which has already happened will be dealt with as I see fit and not necessarily as everyone else would have done it.
Here’s the link to the site I mentioned:
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/issues9.html#rel
I think I will make Harry’s illness a consequence of the Dursley’s treatment – don’t know what exactly yet though…
General consensus was that it should not be MS so I will not go that route. I’ll do some more researching and then see what I come up with… ;)
The memory problem I have yet to decide on.
Your input is greatly appreciated!!!
Review please!!!
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Life as I know it…. Harry and Severus embark on a life together as Dominant and submissive but does Harry’s increasing ‘sense of worth’ pose a problem for their relationship?
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it. This wonderful world belongs to JK Rowling and her publishers. I’m making no money out of this and am only writing this for my own pleasure as well as those reading this.
Warnings: This fic is BDSM! It will contain elements of chan (flash backs) and it WILL NOT contain MPreg. Non-con and dub-con through flash backs. Bondage!
AN: Thank you Tina R for your review. I have considered everything you wrote and have made my decision. Thank you for your input!!
Picking up their plates Severus put them in the wash basin where the elves would find them and then realized that this was also not normal behavior for Harry. He would usually make sure that everything was neatly packed away before leaving their rooms. Why hadn’t he done so this morning?
Chapter 2 – The knowledge of truth holds consequences
Harry concentrated as hard as he could on the assignment in front of him. It was their NEWTS and Harry was sitting the last of his exams. As luck would have it, it was Potions, practical.
He would have loved to have done his potions at the beginning of the exams, not only would the work still have been fresh in his mind but all the exams since have worn him out. Harry gripped the desk in front of him as his vision blurred but he stubbornly refused to alert his Professor to the problem and went on with completing the potion.
He knew that his Master/Professor would have him sent off to the hospital wing before he could even finish explaining what was wrong and he really, really did not want to miss this exam. He had studied hard for this and was proud of how well he knew he was doing, despite his blurred vision.
Whatever was wrong with him could wait until later, nothing was as important at that moment as passing that particular NEWT with flying colors.
As the last hour of the exam drew to a close, Harry bottled up his potion and presented it to his Professor. Severus looked Harry deep in the eye and Harry could clearly see that his Master knew that something was wrong. Giving the man a soft half smile, Harry turned around and packed his things up. He really did not want to worry his Master too much; heaven knew that the man already worried way too much about him, especially lately. Harry had no idea what had happened to cause his Master to act the way he did but something obviously had.
Harry slowly made his way back to their quarters. His blurred vision was causing him a headache and he couldn’t wait to return to his room and just lay down to sleep, after taking a headache cure of course.
Draco intercepted him about two hallways from his Master’s chambers but only followed him silently.
As they closed the door behind them Draco led him to the couch and pushed him into it.
“You look like the walking dead Harry. Are you feeling alright? Does the Professor know? Will you still be able to look after Shamoné this weekend? Sit still, I’ll get you a potion or something.”
Harry could only blink at Draco as the boy continued his rambling. He had no idea what had everyone worried so suddenly but as he still felt fairly weak, he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Draco refused to leave him alone and insisted on staying with him until his Master returned from his final exam class.
Not knowing what to say, if anything, Harry just nodded and fished out his journal. He had continued writing in it from time to time since he received it from his Master. Flipping to about half way through, Harry stared at the little poem he had written. It was incomplete still, but Harry continued re-writing it every year – or adding on to it as he had for the previous two years.
The knowledge of truth holds consequences
Touching, feeling, hearing, seeing is my practice;
Pain and fear and distress have no justice.
My thoughts and hopes and dreams disappear,
Everything and anything I have held dear.
My life is changing, I’m thrown away,
Someone new, my heart and life his way sway.
Touching, feeling, hearing, seeing has new meaning;
Trust and peace and care I am now gaining.
My heart is full, my soul is aching,
I fear the time I will be waking.
I have changed, I feel complete,
I dread the time I find his deceit.
Harry re-read the last part of his little poem and cringed at what he had written there the previous year. He knew his Master loved him, cared for him and would never, ever deceive him but yet he had to wonder why he would write such a thing.
Was his heart, his soul telling him something that his mind refused to believe? No, no, Harry knew his Master, he knew Severus well enough to know that about him. Yet, he did not erase that part of the poem but he continued on to write a new stanza.
Hurts and pains gained through life is waning,
My life, my heart and soul is trembling;
I have found the protector of my life, of me,
For in his presence I can simply be.
Reading it over twice, Harry gently closed the book and rested his hands on it. He knew that as the years had passed, he had changed. How much he had changed however only really hit him when he read his poem. To someone else, it might just sound like a little rambling of melancholy, but for him it meant everything. His whole life was written in those few lines and to see the changes from his own perspective over the years was enlightening.
The first stanza he had written when he’d first received the journal. It had not really been a part of, or beginning of a poem as such, but rather just his outlook on life.
Later, when he’d decided to expand on that first part, he’d decided to write it as a poem and had left two whole pages open for whenever he felt like writing something more.
Looking up for the first time since he’d fished out the book, Harry was startled to find both Draco and his Master softly conversing on the other side of the room.
“Good evening Master. I’m sorry for not realizing that you have returned. Would you like me to get you anything? Some tea maybe?”
Master Severus walked over to him and planted a soft kiss on his forehead before looking him over with a critical eye.
“No my little one. Draco told me that you have been sitting there reading and writing in your journal the whole afternoon. I think it’s time for you to take a nice hot shower and then retire for bed. I will come to check on you in half an hour.”
Harry tried to protest but his Master effectively shooed him out of the room and he decided to just relax and do as he was told.
He knew his Master would look after him.
*------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Severus was very tempted to look and find out what his little Harry had written but decided against it. Even though he knew Harry would not protest against the idea, it was still very private and he would not interfere without asking Harry’s permission first – if and when he found it absolutely necessary.
Turning back to Draco, Severus continued to ask the boy if he had seen anything else about Harry that was cause for concern.
They had both decided that fatigue was a definite symptom to whatever was ailing Harry as well as unsteadiness on his feet which they had yet to find a cause for. Severus was of a mind that maybe Harry’s eyes needed a check-up for his glasses could be the problem.
As Draco left, Severus returned to his bedroom and silently slipped in behind a sleeping Harry.
He would talk to the boy about his behavior tomorrow, and hopefully, they would have some idea as to what was wrong with him.
End Chapter 2
Okay, so what did you think??
The poem that Harry wrote/is writing, is something that I myself wrote for this story. I’m writing it as I go along with the fic so I might add more stanza’s as I see fit.
I’ve realized that even though I have read a whole lot of fics with child abuse in it, I have never really done any research into how it really affects the child and the rest of our world.
I came across a very interesting page while researching this exact thing (this morning) and will include the link here for those of you who are as interested in this as I am.
More research into child abuse, sexual abuse and mental problems caused by this will be done throughout the fic but I will say this now; not everything you read in this fic are absolute facts or found in each and every child abuse case. I will incorporate that which I read as I see fit and so, the things happening to Harry and the things which has already happened will be dealt with as I see fit and not necessarily as everyone else would have done it.
Here’s the link to the site I mentioned:
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/issues9.html#rel
I think I will make Harry’s illness a consequence of the Dursley’s treatment – don’t know what exactly yet though…
General consensus was that it should not be MS so I will not go that route. I’ll do some more researching and then see what I come up with… ;)
The memory problem I have yet to decide on.
Your input is greatly appreciated!!!
Review please!!!