Music of the Heart

~Chapter 3 - Longing and belonging

Harry woke up, it was past midnight,and officially Sunday.He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes,and saw the reason for his awakening. An owl, a big black owl sat on his pillow, and it had a black envelope with silver writing on it in its beek. He sat up, put his glasses on,and took the envelope. The writing on the outside read "Potter". He gave the owl an owl treat,and sent it away. He opened the letter warily, not wanting to wake anyone up. "Feeling slithery?Meet me outside." Harry felt a jolt of pleasure.It was from him!Draco had written to him. He threw his pants and shirt on,and put his invisibility cloak on,for safe measure.He carried his shoes downstairs,and put them on only when he were outside the portrait hole. As he ran down the stairs, he couldn't help but wonder why Malfoy had sent for him.He hoped, but he knew his hopes were stupid. Why would Malfoy like him,and why would Malfoy -ever- want to..?
He took a deep breath,interrupting himself,as he pushed the big door open, and was outside. He looked to both sides,and decided to take off his cloak. "I didn't know you had one of those Cloaks,Potter." A sneer came from somewhere behind him. Harry jerked around, and since he couldn't see anyone, he assumed Malfoy also had one. "Likewise,Malfoy." He felt the air whirl around him. "Look up, you dimwit." And Harry looked up. Malfoy was hovering a few feet above his head, on his broom, a smile playing his lips.
Harry reddened. "Where are we going?" Malfoy tilted his head. "Caught on that quick? You must be very slithery today." He landed in front of Harry,his look growing impatient. "Well? Jump on,then." Harry was hesitating, he didn't know why. Riding a broom with Malfoy in the middle of the night? "Ehh.." Malfoy looked at him, patience almost running out. "What's the matter,Potter?Are you scared?It's not like you're going to enjoy yourself,is it?" He winked at Harry, and Harry went crimson. He was thankful it was dark,when he climbed on the broomstick behind Malfoy, the two of them barely fitting the seat.
Harry tried holding one hand on the broom, and one around Draco,which seemed to be a good plan, atleast for the sake of holding on. "Ready?" Malfoy asked, as he turned around.His hair brushing Harrys face,and Harry felt dizzy. He couldn't help himself, he smelled his hair.It smelled of .. so many things.It was a Draco-smell.Harry nodded."Yes." he croaked,cursing his voice.He could hear Dracos smile. As they lifted the ground, Harry felt that faint butterflyfeeling in his stomach he always got from flying, the freedom, the incredible freedom a broomstick would always give you.His grin grew wide,and he couldn't help but close his eyes,and snuggle closer.
Malfoy sneered,but it didn't feel embarrassing anymore.His body reacted to Malfoy being so close, and he was quite sure Malfoy knew,how could he not know,they were so close,but Harry didn't care. Malfoy hated him anyway,so what harm could it do. They flew around, making loops, and just having a joyride, before Malfoy stopped in mid-air. "Potter, do you mind?If you continue that,you'll push me off the seat." He sounded annoyed, but not very. "Sorry." Harry giggled. "I mean", Draco continued, "I know I'm gorgeus,Potter.You don't have to show it that much." He smirked. "It's a bit hard not to,Malfoy." Harry shouted against the wind, when they were at speed again,he was red as a peach,but he didn't care.He had never been happier.
"What,don't you have any self-control?Oh,never mind, you're a Gryffindor!" Draco laughed and Harry felt the need to tease him. "Watch it,or I'll release my Slytherin on you!" Harry went redder.He'd meant to say "My slytherin side". What he'd said,sounded very wrong. Draco landed on the grass by the lake,and rolled off his broom laughing,and clutching his stomach. When he finally sat up,he managed to say "Oh,is that what you call it?" Harry frowned.He didn't think it was that funny.

The sky was turning the weird colour it does when it lingers between night and morning. Malfoy had laughed enough it seemed, he was leaning backwards,looking up at the starry morning sky, expression unreadable. Harry stared at him, unsure about what to do. Finally,Malfoy spoke. "Why is it so that you think you're in love with me,Potter?" he sneered.Harry had no idea what to say, he hadn't seen that coming. "I..well..I know I am." he finished lamely. Malfoy turned so he lay on his side, supporting his head with his hand. "How do you know?You've always hated me.I've always hated you.Why me?What hàppened?"
Harry looked at him, trying to make him understand. "It's not like I could choose,is it,I mean..I hated you,and,now I don't.I don't know how to explain it.Suddenly,it.." He cut himself off,not wanting to reveal more than he'd already done. "Tell me,Potter." It wasn't a request. "I've always been..passionate..about you.Like,beating you at Quidditch,fighting you,and so on." He dared a smile at the blonde. "And then, one day,I just woke up, and it was a whole 'nother experience.Like I couldn't breathe when I saw you, nor when I didn't.And then we left for summer."
Malfoy looked at him,expression unreadable. "When did you start feeling like this?" Harry blushed. "Do you remember that morning, when I bumped into you in the Owlery?" A silent nod accompanied by a faint blush was his answer. "Well..I had been thinking about you very much before that,but after that I knew why.But, it's been like that for awhile now." Malfoy frowned. "When did you start to cut yourself?" Harry noticed that Malfoy didn't ask why. "Early summer. I've done minor things before, since I was little, like pinching myself, that kind of stuff, but..it didn't help anymore."
Malfoy was still frowning,as he sat up. "Show me your scars.All of them." Harry sat up, and pulled his shirt over his head. His skin was pale, the contrast to his wild,black hair was striking. The red and white scars from his wrists up his arms were obvious,but the D and M stood out. He rolled up his pants to his knees,not wanting to reveal everything. Malfoy noticed his hesitation. "Everything,Potter." It was nothing more than a direct order,and Harry felt like he'd lost his willpower somewhere back in last term. He looked away while unbuttoning his pants, and as he dropped them to the ground,he heard Malfoys sharp intake of breath.
Harry stood in front of him, the red and gold of the morning colouring his skin. The scars were everywhere on him.One or two long ones led from his thighs,and into his boxershorts-covered area. Malfoy looked at him, but he said nothing. He stood up, took a hold of Harrys chin,forcing him to lift his gaze. When Harry finally met his eyes, it was like being bitten by the frost.

Malfoy punched him,fist meeting cheek, and the blow struck him to the ground. It came suddenly, Harry didn't see it coming at all. His ears were ringing,and he tried to scramble to his feet. Malfoys voice were ringing somewhere above him,and when his eyes started working again he could see Malfoy standing above him,arms crossed, and with a superior look. "I said everything, Potter.Use your ears." Harry looked at him, eyes wide, and shock in his face. He got up and looked at Malfoy to see if he was serious.He probably was, the hit was serious enough.
Harry wasn't feeling any anger, he didn't understand it at all.He was filled with some sort of daze, making him utterly carefree,and submissive, it almost felt like Imperius had been cast on him, but he knew that it hadn't. He blushed, and obeyed.He covered himself with one hand, while pulling off the boxer with the other.Malfoy looked at him critically. Harry couldn't help it, he tried to think of as many horrid things as he could,even Dementors, but the effect of standing naked in front of Draco Malfoy proved impossible to cover.Draco walked around him, inspecting him,arms crossed and frown on his forehead.
"I see.Well, get dressed,Potter." Harry felt like a dog being ordered about, but nonetheless, he did what he was told.When he was done, he sat down at Malfoys feet,who looked down on him. "You've branded yourself with my initials.Does that mean you wish to be my possession?" Harry reached into the depths of his brain to work out an answer,he wanted so very much to please the owner of that voice. "I..guess so..I think..but,what do you mean by possession?" Malfoy looked at him again, a sharp glint in his steely eyes, a merciless twist in his smile. "It means my plaything,it means you'll do as you're told, it means I own you,like.." He chose his words. "..like a house-elf,a slave or a prostitute,but without the money.You'll do what I want you to do.And you'll do it,simply because I want it to be done." Harry looked at him, a sneaking outrage in him. "And what happens if you want me to do something awful,and I don't do it?" Malfoy smiled cruelly.
"Then I punish you.Or I toss you away,if I've grown tired of you.Depends how much fun you are." Harry felt awful. On one hand, it was cruel, and disgusting,and humiliating,and.. on the other..well,it meant that Draco would talk to him,and be near him.He couldn't believe himself. He was actually considering it.

Harrys only thought on the way back was that Malfoy had asked him.Asked him if he wanted to be his possession. A jubilant feeling tried to unleash from within him,but he tried to restrain it.He had asked, not forced him. He tried to snuggle closer, without it being noticed, doubting it possible.
Before they had left, Draco had given him an order. He would reply whether or not he would be his possession in the following day.Harry had asked,curiously what would happen when,or if he answered that he would. Draco had smiled,not a trace of doubt in his voice; "You'll see." Then he had mounted the broom, and Harry had joined him, face flushed, and a faint shiver running through him.

..You really got me now
youve got me so I don't kow what I'm doing..

He somehow stumbled back into the dormitory unnoticed by Filch,and flung himself on the bed. A voice, not at all sleepy, came from Ron's bed. "Where've you been?" Harry frowned.He didn't like the tone Ron had. "Out." Ron sat up. "You've been with him?With.." Harry interrupted him. "Yes,with Malfoy.Why?It's not like youre my mum,is it?!" Ron's hurt face told Harry he'd gone too far. "No,I'm not Harry.Your mum is dead.Shes dead because of people like the Malfoys.Think about that." Harry felt it like Ron had punched the air out of him.The worst thing about it,was that Ron was right. "I'm sorry,Ron.." his voice trailed off.
He couldn't get Ron to understand the feeling of belonging, the feeling of freedom he got from being himself without any pressure. "I can't help it,Ron,I'm sorry." Harry whispered. It took a second before Ron answered. "You don't act like yourself when you've been with him.I'm not sure I like this side of you.This Slytherin part." Harry swallowed,regretting in that moment that he'd told Ron about the Sorting hats difficulties. "But that's exactly the point,Ron.I AM myself,when I'm with him." He flung his curtains shut,and tried not to cry out loud.

Sunday morning was a silent affair.Ron was gone from the dorm,before Harry awoke. Harry tried not to look closely at the others in the dorm, trying to avoid their looks.He wasn't sure what they knew,or what they'd heard in the early hours.He had blurted out the name in pure annoyance,not caring about anyone who might hear.He realized he had to be more careful in the future.When he got out of the shower,he stepped down the stairs to the common room and found it to be empty,save for Hermione and Ron, who were huddled up, looking in a book by the fireplace.
"Hi." They looked up at him. "Hey." "Harry..I think you should read this." Hermione said,and thrust the book towards him,pointing at a paragraph marked with pencil. "Love-potions and their effects." Harry read the title out loud,and felt a jolt of anger surge through him.He threw the book down on the table. "You don't get it,do you?It's not a potion,this is real!Even if it WAS a potion,it's real now! If you can't accept me for who I am,then leave me the bloody hell alone!" Harry shouted,regretting the words the instant he'd uttered them. He stood for a single second,looking them in the eyes, and strode off to blow off steam elsewhere.
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A/N ...and then I need a few days to edit chapter 5 and from there on.Hope you like it so far :)