Worthless Priceless?

Disclaimer: Don't own.

A/N: I seem to have confused a number of people with the last chapter. I thought I had made it pretty clear that Harry was both dreaming of the past and of a possible future. I was trying to show that Harry is happiest when he feels useful to others. I wanted to show Harry’s mindset with respect to both, but I think I failed in that respect. Someone also mentioned that they didn’t get the point of the story (?). Mainly, I just wanted to explore something different, slightly darker.




Chapter 3: Harry’s Letter

Draco let himself into the quiet house, being quiet so as to not disturb Harry, in case he was asleep already. He really didn’t want to talk to him. Lately he had been so demanding of Draco’s time, and Draco hoped that he would find a job, or a new project soon. He loved Harry, but he didn’t want to be around him every second of the day. Also, Harry insisted on doing everything in the house himself. He had even dismissed the house-elves, so that he cleaned, cooked and took care of everything to do with their household. Harry didn’t seem to be motivated to do anything else though. He wished he knew how to help Harry. Harry was his world and he didn’t know what he would do without him.

He stopped when he saw the dining room set up for him. This was one of the things that was driving him crazy. He loved that Harry cared so much for him that he wanted to make things special for him, but he hated that Harry felt the need to always have to do these things for him. He sat and started eating his dinner. It was perfect, just as everything Harry made him.

As he was almost finished, he noticed the letter addressed to him in Harry’s handwriting. He finished eating quickly, and then wiped his hands on his napkin before picking up the letter. As he did so, he noticed the dagger that was propping it up; his great-grandfather Black’s dagger that Harry had inherited from his godfather. He used the dagger to slide the letter open, and proceeded to read it; getting more and more shocked.

~*~*~*~



Dearest Draco,
I love you so, much. That being said, I had no idea that I was such a burden on you. That is the last thing I have ever wanted to be to you. You are my life, and I thought that you needed me, but I see now that I made a mistake in believing that. You obviously have no need for me in your life, and all I have done is prevent you from being happy.

I am truly sorry that I have been such a burden to you and everyone else for the last six years. I know now that I should never have come back as you don’t need me anymore, in fact you’ve never needed me.

I will get out of the way so that you will be able to find your true happiness, if you haven’t already. I’ve only ever wanted your happiness, and truly believed, naively I know, that I was what would make you happy, otherwise I would never have inflicted my worthless, useless, stupid self on you all these years.

I’m sorry for inflicting myself upon you and everybody else. I’m sorry to have wasted everybody’s time for the past six years, and I hope everyone will forgive me for not having died like I was supposed to six years ago. Be happy, Draco, as I have never been able to make you.

Goodbye, and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive my selfishness in hoping to be the one to make you happy. Please express my grief of hurting everyone with my useless presence, especially the Weasleys, and tell them I loved them even though I could never live up to their expectations because I was so worthless, that I do not deserve theirs or your love. I go now to free you of my useless self

Goodbye with all my Love,
Harry


The letter dropped from Draco’s hands to land on the floor. ‘God no, it can’t be. Don’t let me be too late.’ He rushed out of the dinning room and looked all over the house for Harry. He finally came upon their bathroom and was shocked to a standstill at the sight of all the blood on the floor. He rushed to the tub sobbing, his eyes blurred with tears, he slipped in the blood on the floor as he skidded to a stop on his knees. He pulled Harry’s body against his chest, “Oh, Merlin, Harry. How could you do this? I need you. I can’t live without you.” His words were oddly reminiscent of six years previous as Harry lay dieing after the battle with Voldemort and everybody had given up any hope of Harry returning to them. Surprisingly, Harry had woken up the very next day. His recovery had been swift, and he and Draco had started their life together soon after. Draco had never known Harry had only come back for him.

As he clutched Harry to him, he searched for where the blood had come from, but couldn’t find any open wounds. He rubbed the tears from his eyes and then looked at Harry’s wrists, there were no open wounds, but new silver scars on both his wrists. As Draco felt them, he realized Harry still had a pulse. He shook Harry awake then.


Harry opened blurry eyes to see a concerned looking Draco kneeling over him, his white robes covered in Harry’s drying blood. “Harry, how can you not know how much you mean to me? You’re not worthless or useless. You’re the most precious, priceless thing in my life. I can’t live without you, and not because of the things you do for me, but because I need your presence in my life to make me feel whole.”

“Really?” Harry asked breathlessly, “You don’t think I’m worthless?”

“No,” Draco said against Harry’s hair. He pulled Harry out of the tub over to the shower stall and stripped them both, adjusted the temperature of the water, before pulling them into the shower under the hot water, and lovingly bathed his love, trying to show him how much he loved him. He made sure to remove all traces of blood, including the word on Harry’s forehead. “Harry, I want you to promise me, that you’ll never attempt to do something like that again. I couldn’t live with myself if something were to happen to you.”

“I’m sorry, Draco. I promise,” Harry sighed as he leaned against Draco.

Draco picked up the smaller man and carried him out of the shower before setting him down and toweling him dry. He then quickly dried himself off, before wrapping their bathrobes around both of them. He then carried Harry to their bed. And set him down, before retrieving their bedclothes. He put his on quickly, before gently clothing a nearly asleep Harry, knowing that anything else would have to wait. He also realized that he had never taken care of Harry in this way, even though Harry had done just about everything for him. That was going to change. There was no way he would let his precious treasure believe he was worthless ever again.


~*~8~*~


A/N2: This isn't beta'd, so I hope it's flowing alright. Is there anyone willing to look over the past chapters and maybe future chapters. I need a little help with some scenes. Well, hope you enjoy this chapter. ^.^~