Awakenings

Awakenings - Part Three


Draco gave her a moment to leave the library before he followed, he knew that lunch was well and truly over, and dinner was a way off yet, so he decided to head down to the kitchen and see what the elves would provide in the meantime. The corridors were empty as he made his way, for which he was very thankful for. There was no-one he wished to speak to, or even see for that matter. He much preferred it like this.

After he was accosted by the elves he sat down in a rather over-stuffed chair by the fire, and closed his eyes as he waited for them to bring him something. He seemed to be always tired lately, like life was leaving his slowly, leaving in it's place a shell of the wizard he used to be. There were random moments that lifted him, made him feel alive again, but they were so fleeting, coming not nearly often enough. He longed to fly, he never realised how much he enjoyed it. Upon his return to Hogwarts, there had been many restrictions placed on what he could do. It wouldn't be right for him to come back to school after what he had done, or tried to do, and fit back in like nothing had ever happened.

Draco didn't mind not being a prefect anymore, that was a responsibility he was glad to be rid of. There were other things, most of which he did not miss at all. Quidditch was the thing he missed the most, and it wasn't even the game that he missed, the competition. After spending so much of his childhood flying, and then his time at Hogwarts, he just wanted to fly. To feel the wind through his hair, it blasting his face, and just the complete freedom that came with flying that's what he wanted.

He wanted to be free. He wanted to be completely alone, something he'd never be as long as he was around. There was no way he could leave the school grounds any time soon, he was a virtual prisoner, he could go if he wished, but there was no way he would be safe when he did. So he stayed, with the people who despised him, those who pitied him, and those that confused him.

Draco thought he was just starting to get a handle on his new life, when the rug was swept out from under him. Yesterday he was as settled as he was going to be, he had much as sense out of everything as he could. One little kiss and he was all adrift, and he wasn't involved directly in it. All he did was watch, he stood in the wings and watched; and it screwed him over completely. He doubted much would be the same anymore, not only had he kissed his closest friend, but he had then kissed the girl who he had despised for much of his school life. One without the other would be complex enough, but add then together in the space of an hour and he was drowning.

There was nothing for him to hold onto, his only friend was gone for the moment, it was just him. He would have to figure this out. Alone.


-


He ended up staying in the kitchens till dinner was being served, before heading down to the dormitories. The elves had given him more than enough food, and he didn't really want to go to dinner. Draco knew he was being childish, and more than a little stupid, but he didn't want to see them.

Luckily the dorm was empty, and he sat down in the lounge chair, deciding to do some work while he was alone. Unluckily, it didn't last very long. It was a few seventh years, they took one sneering look at him, and headed upstairs. Blaise didn't follow them. Draco focused down on his book, stiffening slightly as he sat next to him.

"Draco."

He didn't answer, he turned a page, and read it intently.

"Draco," he sighed. "Bloody hell, are you going to ignore me forever? First you don't come to dinner, and now you sit here pretending I'm not. It's fucking ridiculous."

"Maybe Blaise," he said slowly. "I don't want to talk to anyone at the moment, and I'd appreciate being left alone."

"Hate to burst your bubble, but we need to talk."

"No we don't."

"Come on Draco, we kissed. Kissed Draco. It wasn't a small kiss, I felt something, more than something, and I'm pretty sure you did as well."

"It doesn't matter what I did or didn't feel," he said quietly. "It doesn't matter because it is never going to happen again, it should never have happened then, and it won't again."

"Stop being so bloody stubborn, would it be such a terrible thing? We have known each other since we were crawling, been through so much in both of our lives. There is no one who knows me better than you, and I think I know you pretty well myself."

"It's not that simple Blaise," he closed his book. "Even if I did want to see what this could prove to be, now is not the time for it. My life is not settled at the moment, and whatever that may be, it can't fit right now. I won't let it."

"It wouldn't necessarily ruin things Draco, it may just be the stabilizer that you need. How will you know that if you don't give it a chance?"

"I won't, and I'm not going to. Please just let me do this Blaise," he whispered.

Blaise exhaled, and sat back in the chair. "I don't want to, but I suppose I'll have to."

"Thank you," Draco said.

"I hope it won't affect our friendship," Blaise said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Of course not," he tried to stay relaxed as he felt the heat of his hand on his shoulder. "My life is pretty fucked at the moment, I need to unload somewhere."

"Good to hear," he smiled. "I suppose you don't want to unload about today with me?"

"No," he laughed. "I don't really want to talk about it with anyone."

"You should, in some way. I know I'm bloody confused," he admitted. "I'm just glad you are actually talking to me right now, I thought you'd never say another word to me ever again."

"It'll go away, the confusion. We'll get through it, and before we know it, it'll be back to normal as much as my life can be."

"That'll be nice."


-


He was glad to have Blaise back, and for the following weekend, life seemed normal again. In Blaise's dorm they studied like they always did, and just relaxed together. The weight that had crushed him that afternoon, lifted. His life wasn't back to it's odd kind of normal, but it was close enough. He would keep it at this stage for as long as possible.

There was just one problem with that plan, Granger.

He may have sorted out the issue with Blaise, this wasn't something that could be glossed over and ignored. Draco may not know her all that well, she didn't however seem like the kind of girl who would be ignored. That's all however he could think to do, he didn't want to go talk to her. He hadn't thought about it much over the weekend, preferring to ignore it in the hope that it would go away. Monday came, and with that came the first class of the day. Arithmancy, a small class. One in which Hermione and himself sat rather close to each other. Pretending she wasn't there, was going to be hard.


-


"...you will work in groups of two over the next two weeks, developing a solution. Time will be devoted during class to it, but you will need to work together on this out of class. Now select a partner, I imagine you are all mature enough to do that yourselves."

At those words he watched his classmates gesture to each other, picking their partners. He made no move to pick someone, no one would want to work with him, and he was hoping that there would be an odd number and he would be able to work on this by himself. Everyone seemed to find someone, and then she turned around, and looked at him expectantly. Draco looked around, and didn't see anyone who she could work with. He closed his eyes, and nodded slightly.


-


He left the class as soon as the bell rang, throwing his bag over his shoulder as he went. He could hear her calling to him, but he moved as quick as he could through the crowds. His bag was pulled, and he spun slightly to see her out of breath in front of him.

"Did you not hear me? I've been calling you," she said, breathing deeply.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "In a hurry."

"Oh okay, we need to figure out when we are going to get together and work this thing out, amongst other things."

"We can meet in the library after dinner if you like, and on the other thing," he lowered his voice, "we don't need to talk about that."

"What?!" She looked around, and then pushed him over to the side of the corridor. "You kissed me Draco, now I don't know about you, but that was fairly new for me. Something I wasn't expecting at all, it really threw me. I need to know why."

"I don't know why, you were being so nice I suppose. That isn't happening for me a lot lately."

"So you kiss everyone who is nice to you?! I don't believe that for a second," she snorted. "Kiss Professor McGonagall when she let you back into school?"

"Of course I didn't!"

"Then don't give me that complete bull," she snapped. "There was more to it, and I want to know what it was."

By now the corridor was empty, with everyone in their respective classes. He sighed, and looked down to her. "I did it because I wanted to, I looked at you and I wondered what it would be like to kiss you. There was no more thought into it than that, I was curious, and I decided to go with it."

"That's all?"

"In a nutshell, yes."

"I'm curious too," she whispered. Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him this time. With a hand on the back of his neck she held him to her, coaxing him to respond. He tried not to, he resisted as much as he could, and then he couldn't any longer. His free arm came around her, pulling her against him as opened slightly to her, and she let herself in. Hermione didn't push him, she moved slowly, her hand moving through his hair as she wrapped her other arm around him, leaving not a sliver of light between them. He was losing himself quickly, his only remaining thought was that he hadn't wanted to complicate things further.

That plan was failing.


-

It's been awhile! Sorry about that, of course it's not finished! Hopefully I'll get more of it soon. Thank you to all who reviewed the last one, makes me so happy!