The Trials of the Marauders (Completed)

Chapter 3

Remus was trying to read the book in front of him, and yet he had not even read past his first page. He kept looking at the words again, but the lettering was blurry in his eyes. All he could feel was the burden of the past day--he could feel it pressing into his shoulders and mind. He had tried not to care about the broken friendship, but as he sat opposite his former friends, the happiness that he had felt the previous night was gone.

How? How did it get to this? Such a strong friendship destroyed. Why did I fall in love with Sirius? Why? Oh yeah…it happened with that one kiss…

Don’t lie to yourself. It started earlier than that. You couldn’t stop looking at him and admiring him. For months, you wanted nothing more than to hold him as a lover, not a friend. You had naughty thoughts of you and him being close together for months.

But why HIM? Out of all the lads in Hogwarts, why HIM?

You already know the answer to that.

And besides, surely friendship is more important than love.

Not when your so-called friends stop liking you because you don’t like girls.

But I need them! They are the only friends I’ve got!

Remus wrestled with his conscience for some time before slamming the book shut with frustration. He rested on the hard cover with his head buried in his arms. He felt his heart sink as he realised there was only one choice that he could make.

I’ve got to break up with him.

He got up, and after putting the book back on the shelf, he left the library. He walked down the numerous corridors. As he reached the Gryffindor Tower, he suddenly felt two hands push his shoulders. He stumbled and fell against the wall. He heard his parchments and pens tumble to the ground. Before he could even register the pain throbbing in his head, he was forcefully turned around and pinned to the wall.

It was then that he saw the heavily built figure of Errol Scamander. He was a year older than Remus, and due to his years of being part of the Slytherian Quidditch team, he was much bigger and stronger than the thin werewolf. Remus felt his knees shake slightly at the thought of being cornered by the older boy.

Remus tried to keep his voice steady. “What do you think you are doing, Scamander?”

“I could be asking you the same thing.”

“You have no right to treat me like this. I’m a Prefect.”

“Yes, and even though the Prefects’ bathroom has that particular name, it is not meant to be used by Prefects, especially for dirty ones like you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Scamander smirked. “Oh I think you know exactly what I am talking about. You and Black in the bathroom, having a somewhat enjoyable bath.”

Remus closed his eyes, knowing that, once again, he had disobeyed the rules and had been caught. He felt his arms being squeezed tighter.

“You heard me, Lupin! I wanted to go and have a late night bath, and what do I see when I walk into the bathroom? You and Black having a wank, dirtying up the bath. Well, I am surprised that Black swings that way, but I’m not surprised about you, you dirty little pervert.”

“Trying to sound authoritative, Remus said, “You watch your mouth!”

“Or what?” the blonde bully taunted. “What are you going to do about it?” He grabbed hold of the prefect’s neck and squeezed it tight. As Remus struggled to find his breath, Scamander laughed. “So what are you going to do about it?”

Remus struggled to breathe. “What do you want?”

“I’m going to beat all that dirtiness out of you.”

And with that, Scamander punched the prefect in the stomach. Remus felt all the wind flow out of him, and he struggled even harder to breathe. The bully let go of his neck so Remus toppled to the ground in pain. Before Remus had time to recover, he felt his hair being gripped by two strong hands, and suddenly he felt something snap inside him. It could be simply due to the pressure that been mounting upon him for the last few days, but for the first time in life, he literally saw red, and the next thing he knew, he had punched Scamander in the mouth.

James had barely finished speaking when he felt Lily slap the back of his head again. What he found amazing is that she had hit him in the exact same spot as she had before, and the pain thumped harder. He placed a hand on the sore spot.

“What the hell did you do that for?”

Still towering over him, she said, “To knock some bloody sense into you!”

“What are you on about?”

Lily pulled a chair to the other side of the table and sat down. “You know exactly what I’m about, Potter. I never thought of you to be so biased!”

“Well, two guys hugging and kissing each other--it’s not natural, is it?”

Lily’s mouth hung open in shock. “I can’t believe you just said that! How can you possibly think that being gay is not natural? And I can’t believe that you were such a bastard to your best mates just because they fancy each other! How long did you say they had been together?”

James suddenly felt uncomfortable, and he shuffled in his chair. “Three months.”

“Well, there you go. You know as much as I do that Sirius has never dated girls so long. A fortnight has possibly been his longest relationship. To be so close to Remus for so long, that’s got to mean something.”

“They could be doing it out of spite.”

“Oh, don’t be so daft, James!” Lily became angrier. “Why would they want to do this out of spite?”

James tried to think of an answer, but his mind was blank. He looked down at his hands clasped on his lap. “I don’t know. You’re right--that was a stupid thing to say.”

“That’s not the only stupid thing you’ve said. Answer me one question--why are you so uncomfortable with them being together?”

“Because it’s dir…”

“No!” Lily exclaimed. “That’s not a good answer. Tell me why you think it’s dirty.”

As he looked at his hands, he tried to think of an answer. As his mind came back to when he saw the two pups holding hands and kissing, he realised that he could not think of a single reasonable explanation.

“I don’t know, Lily.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I just don’t know.”

“Then here’s another question. If either of them had been snogging another guy, would you have a problem?”

James’ head shot up and he glared at her. “What are you on about?”

“I don’t think you have a problem with gays, James. I don’t think homophobia is in you, otherwise you wouldn’t have been put into Gryffindor. That short of behaviour stinks of Slytherians. I think you have a problem with your two best mates falling in love with each other.”

James turned away from her, “Don’t be daft.”

Lily leaned forward. “If I’m being daft, then why are you looking away from me? I think that’s your problem. You can’t handle the fact that you think you’ve known your two best mates for years, and then you find out that they’re gay. This may come as a surprise, but they might not have known that, either. Or maybe it’s because they have kept this secret from you, and you feel betrayed because of it.”

James picked up his belongings and stood up. “I don’t need this shit.” He walked towards the door.

“Oh, no. You don’t.” Lily picked up her stuff and followed him. I’m right, Potter. I’m bloody right, aren’t I?

She followed James through the corridors and up the many stairs. When he moved faster, she did the same in order to keep up with him. Eventually they were on the seventh floor and they could barely get to the Gryffindor Tower. Part of the corridor was full of pupils of different ages, shapes and sizes. Lily and James tried to get though the cheering crowd, but to no avail.

He eventually tapped a small male pupil on the shoulder. “Hey! What’s going on?”

The boy turned around. “Scamander has got into a fight with that friend of yours.”

“Who?”

“Remus Lupin.”

Lily cried out in shock. “Remus!? But Scamander is twice his size.” Trying to get through the crowd, she said, “He’s probably beating Remus half to death.”

The pupil looked at her. “Not according to one of my mates down there. He says that Remus is putting up a fight.”

Impatiently, James stood up on his tiptoes and could barely see over the crowd of pupils. His mouth fell at the sight.

He looked towards the redhead. “Bloody hell, he’s right. He really is putting up a fight.”

And indeed, Remus was. James could hear the pupil call out to go on his shoulders, but he ignored him. He could only watch in shock as Remus fought back with a determination that James had never seen in the prefect before. Eventually, Remus pushed the blond bully into the wall, and Scamander fell to the floor holding onto the back of his head. The brown-haired boy towered over him and did not say a word.

The silence was broken by the sound of footsteps from the corridor, and all the pupils fled from the footsteps as quickly as they could. That is except for Remus, James, Lily and Scamander. James looked over his shoulder and saw that it was Sirius. The long-haired boy looked at Lily.

“Hi, Evans. What’s been going on here?”

She pointed over her shoulder. “It’s best you look.”

He looked and his mouth fell. “Remy?” He moved towards his boyfriend who was standing over the blond. He put an arm over Remus’ shoulder.

Scamander taunted, “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the dirty boys from Gryffindor.”

Before Sirius could respond, another set of footsteps could be heard, and from around the corner, Professor McGonagall appeared. As she saw the sight before her, she folded her arms, and Remus immediately felt a dread feeling in his stomach.



Remus knew the outcome could have been worse. The detention he had received was not what he wanted, but he knew that if it had not been for the fact that he was so trusted, it would have been worse, so he decided not to grumble.

It could have been a lot worse than a week’s detention. You could have had your Prefect status stripped off you, or worse, you could have been expelled. Good thing you’re such a good boy and Scamander is generally known to be a somewhat nasty piece of work.

Remus also knew that he should have been happy that Sirius was now holding him--comforting and protecting him just as he had always done. And yet, Remus felt more dread in his stomach as he knew he had to do what was right. He could not bear more incidents like this.

Sirius whispered, “Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Remus said quietly, “You know what happened.”

“No. I know only the version you told to McGonagall and Dumbledore. I know for a fact you were hiding the real reason on why the fight started. Please tell me what happened.”

The werewolf tried his hardest not to stutter. “H-h-he saw us in the bathroom, Pads. Said it was dir-dirty. He beat me. Sirius, I can’t do this anymore.”

Sirius wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. “Then you don’t have to say another word.” He stroked his mop of brown hair. “It’s okay.”

Remus shook his head. “No, I can’t do this anymore. It’s not going to work.”

Sirius parted the hug and looked into Remus’ soulful eyes. “What’s not going to work, Remy?” As there was a tense silence between them, the black haired rebel continued to look at his boyfriend. Remus gazed into his grey eyes, and he suddenly felt nervous. He realised what had made him love Sirius in the first place.

I can’t do this… I can’t.

You have to, for the sake of your friendship.

I can’t break up with him. I love him, and I know why. He is the only one who truly understands me. He understands me more than anyone.

You have to, Remus. Friendship is more important.

Remus sighed. “It’s over. I think we should remain friends.”

Sirius was gobsmacked. “What? Why?”

Trying to sound as apathetic as possible and trying to keep a blank face, Remus repeated, “It’s over, Sirius. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve not answered my question. Why?”

“I can’t take the pressure anymore. And I know you miss James. I miss him, too, and Wormtail. We need them, Sirius, and if that means that we can’t be together, then so be it.”

Sirius stared at him for what seemed to be a long time. And then in shock, he turned away from Remus but remained sitting on the edge of the bed. As the silence became longer, Remus could feel the atmosphere become more tensed. In one moment, he wanted to take back what he said. He wanted to apologise and wanted things to be normal. However, he knew it would not work. He knew it was too late.

Eventually, Remus said quietly, “Well…say something. Please, say something.”

Looking at the dormitory door, the black haired student said apathetically, “Well, what do you want me to say, Remus? ‘Okay’? ‘Fine’? Fair enough. I mean, forget what happened last night. Let’s treat it as a one-off. After all,” Agitation could now be heard in his voice, “That’s what the great Sirius Black is famous for--one-offs that don’t mean a thing.”

“Pads…”

Sirius turned to the prefect, and Remus swore that he could see tears brimming in his grey eyes. “You know what, Remus? I’m very surprised at you. I thought you would be stronger than this. Look at what you just did with Scamander. He’s been bullying pupils for years, and thanks to you, he may never do it again. We can survive this.”

“I’m just trying to keep hold of a good friendship.”

“Bullshit!”

“You don’t get it. You have no idea how it felt to be cornered by a guy like him. I was on my own, Sirius, and I just snapped. What if I hadn’t snapped? I could have ended up with a lot more than this.” Remus pointed at his bruises with one long finger. “There was all that lot crowding around me, but not one had the courage to come up and help me. I had never felt so alone. I don’t want to feel like that again.”

“You’re just doing this to please James. That’s your problem. That has always been your problem--you always try and please everyone but yourself. Don’t you know by now that you can’t please everyone?”

“I’m just trying to keep the three best friends I have got in the world.”

“And what if,” Sirius pointed a finger at Remus, “Just what if, we all become best friends again? It won’t make a difference--you’d still be gay, and I don’t think James would ever trust us in the same way again. What if you fell in love with another guy and James found out? You’d be back in this position again. But you know what?” Sirius stood up. “If it’s being James’ friend that you want, then have it--just don’t expect me to be part of the Marauders again.”

“Sirius, please…”

“What? You really want me to be friends with such a biased person? I’m proud to be gay, and if James can’t handle it, that’s his problem, not mine. But if you want to be his mate and keep in the closet, then fine with me! Have fun being miserable!” And with that, he stormed out of the room.

Remus looked at the door for what seemed to be hours. He had spent all his life, well since he was bitten by Fenrir Greyback, keeping his feelings in control and not showing self-pity in the sight of bad times. But now, with the pressure and events of the last two days, he could feel all the self-control in him break, and he could no longer stop the tears from falling down his face. For all the time he looked at the door, no-one came through it, and the werewolf had never felt so alone.