Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire: The Musical

It was only two weeks before the mysterious case of random singing and dancing struck again. Hermione one again nagged Harry and Ron non-stop about it. But between trying to find a date for the Yule Ball, final exams, and his impending doom in the Triwizard Tournament; the last thing on Harry’s mind what an impromptu song-and-dance number.

Until his completely ordinary Thursday suddenly took a turn for the worse.

Harry was minding his own business, plodding down the hall (the walk from Trelawney’s loft nearly exhausted him), when a pale arm was flung around his shoulders. Harry looked up, startled, into the widely grinning face of Draco Malfoy. It was rather disconcerting. Draco never initiated friendly physical contact and Harry suppressed the small, not all together unpleasant, shiver that ran through him.
“Harry,” Draco began in a confidential (though somehow amplified) voice, “now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project.”
“Really, you don’t have to do that.” Harry protested weakly. Because, he realized in a flash, he wanted Draco to be his friend on his own and not as a result of the prank being pulled on all of them.
“I know,” Draco replied gleefully, “that’s what makes me so kind.”
He stopped their walking and turned Harry to face him.
“Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I, and lets face it, who isn’t less fortunate than I?” He smirked evilly, then schooled his features into a pathetic pose and placed his hands over his heart. “My tender heart tends to start to bleed. And when someone needs a make over I simply have to take over! I know, I know, exactly what they need. And even in your case, though it’s the toughest case I’ve yet to face.” He sniffed disdainfully at Harry’s unkempt appearance. “Don’t worry! I’m determined to succeed! And yes, indeed, you…will…be…popular!”

Harry was, needless to say, a bit miffed at the suggestion that he needed Malfoy’s help to be popular. Empty-headed twit. But Draco was still singing, as well as circling him.

“You’re gonna be popular.
I’ll teach you the proper poise…”
A shove to the spine.
“…when you talk to boys. Little ways to flirt and flounce, oooh! I’ll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair…”
Draco ruffled Harry’s unruly mop fondly.
“…everything that really counts to be popular. I’ll help you be popular. You’ll hang with the right cohorts…”
He jabbed a thumb at the Slytherins who gathered around them.
“…you’ll be good at sports…”
Harry snorted in disbelief and rolled his eyes.
“…know the slang you’ve got to know. So lets start cause you’ve got an awfully long way to go! Don’t be offended by my frank analysis, think of it as personality dialysis…” He flipped a delicately boned hand regally in Harry’s direction and the other boy frowned.
“Now that I’ve chosen to become a pal, a sis…brother! An advisor. There’s nobody wiser. Not when it comes to popular! And with an assist from me, to be who you’ll be, instead of dreary old who-you-were…well are. There’s nothing that can stop you from becoming pop-u-ler…”
Draco frowned momentarily.
“…-lar.”
The frown cleared.
“La, la, la, la.
We’re gonna make you popular!”
He giggled foolishly and it made Harry chuckle. When Draco realized he was being laughed at by more than Harry, he gave the raven-headed boy the patented Malfoy Family Death Glare and sang the next verse with extra emphasis.
“When I see depressing creatures with unprepossessing features. I remind them on their own behave, we have to think of celebrated heads of state or especially great communicators. Did they have brains or knowledge? Don’t make me laugh! They were popular! Please! It’s all about popular. Its not about aptitude, it’s the way you’re viewed, so its very shrewd to be very, very popular…like me!”
Draco giggled again, still in that strange falsetto and whipped out the top hat he had presented to Harry two weeks ago. He plonked it on Harry’s head and quickly conjured a hand mirror. Standing behind Harry, he held it up so they could see both reflections.
“Why, Harry,” Draco gasped breathily into Harry’s ear, “just look at you! You’re beautiful!”
That damned shiver was back and Harry worked himself out of Draco’s grasp before the other boy could hear just how loud his heart was pounding.
“I…I have to go.” He muttered, then hurried off.
“You’re welcome.” Draco replied. He turned to his audience. “And though he protests, his disinterest, I know clandestinely. He’s gonna grin and bear it, his newfound popularity!”
Everyone laughed.
“He’ll be popular! Just not quite as popular…as…me!”

A/N: Review! REVIEW!!! or I shall...well I don't know, but it won't be pretty!!