A Christmas to Remember

Christmas

Hermione clutched the letter to her chest tightly. He was coming to London. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest at the prospect of seeing him again. How would he look?


She remembered his hair across her face in the mornings. This once irritated her, but now, she would give anything to have it back. She remembered how his lips tasted, the feel of his hand on her cheek as he kissed her. He was always such a passionate man.


Gods what if he were with someone else? Her eyes filled with tears at the thought. She missed him so terribly.


//If I could only have you near

To breathe a sigh or two

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you//


Severus checked his cabin again, to make sure he had not forgotten to do anything. It had been so long since he had been in London. Severus Snape was not the type of man to get nervous, but he could not help but feel an overwhelming sense of apprehension.


He did not know how he would react if she was still with that wizard. Or worse yet, if she brought him to the Leaky Cauldron with her.


Christmas Eve was but a day away, and that day seemed both distant and far too near at the same time. He stilled himself. He had to do this. He had to see her one last time. Even if it hurt him, he had to go, he had to get some closure, in order to move on with his life.


He breathed a heavy sigh, wishing he could be anywhere but here. He used to skate upon the ice when he was a child. His father had been brutal, but even those days were better than these. He remembered the river he would sneak off to before his Hogwarts days. Ah to be that child again, to skate upon that river again. He wished he could just skate away, far away to a place where pain did not exist. He had endured so much pain in his life.


//Oh I wish I had a river

I could skate away on

I wish I had a river so long

I would teach my feet to fly

Oh I wish I had a river

I could skate away on//


Hermione was jolted from her reverie when she felt someone touch her arm. She looked up to find Ron looking at her, holding out a mug of steaming cocoa. She took the mug gratefully and looked at him expectantly.


“Blimey, ‘Mione. Where on earth were you just now? I called your name three times,” he said, a look of concern on his face.


“Sorry,” she replied. “I was just thinking about my mum and dad.”


It was a lie, but Ron did not have to know that.


“Oh.” His face fell. He never knew what to say about what happened to Hermione’s parents. His were both alive and healthy.


“What is it you needed?” she asked him, curtailing the subject.


“Oh, I was just wanting to know if you had thought about what I asked you,” he said, not quite meeting her gaze.


“Oh.” Hermione grew uncomfortable. She would much rather have stayed on the previous subject than move to this one. “Well, I think, I think I need a little more time to think about it,” she stammered, hoping he wouldn’t press the issue.


“Right,” Ron replied, looking a little dejected.


“Ron, I’m sorry, I just---I just can’t make a decision like that so quickly,” she offered.


“No, no I understand. Take your time, think about it,” he said, plastering on a smile.


He left the room quietly.


Hermione felt awful. Ron loved her, and all she could think about was Severus. It was probably very foolish of her to be thinking of him. A lot could happen in four years. It was possible he was even married by now. She shook off the thought. It was too painful to imagine him married to another woman.


Was she being a hypocrite? Here she was, thinking daggers about any possible wife Severus might have, all the while considering marrying Ron. She stopped the thought. Was she actually considering marrying him though? She wanted to say yes, to be fair, but what was the point of lying to yourself? She drew her knees up in the dark chaise. She wished she could take back what she had done to Severus. If he were willing to take the risk, who was she to have stopped him?


Her stomach soured, and she set the mug on the side table. Would seeing him again be a mistake? Perhaps she should just marry Ron and move on with her life, the way Severus undoubtedly had. But what if he hadn’t? That was the hope she held onto. She would go to the Leaky Cauldron tomorrow and meet him, even if the meeting were painful. Gods knew she would deserve it after what she had done to him.


//If I could know within my heart

That you were lonely, too

I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you//


Severus tipped back his steaming butterbeer. He decided to stay away from a stiffer drink, like Firewhisky. It would not do to meet her drunk. It was just after eleven. He could not expect her to show up yet, but he could not help the way his eyes floated expectantly to the door every time it opened.


Tom set another butterbeer in front of him. Severus wished he could just melt away into his chair. What was he thinking asking her to meet him on Christmas Eve? She was probably married already, and who was he to take her from her family on Christmas?


He found himself longing once again for the river of his childhood. He paid Tom and silently left the pub. This had been a bad idea after all.


//I wish I had a river I could skate away on//


Hermione entered the Leaky Cauldron. She took a seat that had a good view of the entrances to the pub, both from the rooms and from the outside. She wanted to make sure to see him. She wondered when he would show up. And a part of her wondered even ifhe would.


Tom brought her a steaming mug of tea. She sipped it anxiously. She had been waiting for nearly four hours. He had said three o’clock in his letter, but she had arrived at two. Perhaps he is just running a little bit late, she thought to herself. It could not hurt to wait a little bit longer.


Three hours later, He had still not shown. Hermione decided he wasn’t coming, and paid her bill. She walked alone through the snowy street, trudging to the apparation point.


She returned to the Burrow, hoping that the disappointment was not apparent on her face. When she walked into the study, she saw that Ron was sitting on the chaise, looking very somber.


“So this is why you were gone all day?” he asked, holding out Severus’ letter.


Hermione’s blood ran cold.


“Ron, I--I don’t know what to say,” she said softly.


“Was he there?”


Hermione shook her head.


“Look, Mione, I need to know where you are. Do you love me?” Ron asked her sincerely.


“I’m sorry, Ron, I-”


Ron held up a hand interrupting her.


“No, Mione. I’m sorry. I know he’s the love of your life. I guess I just hoped that maybe I could make you happy,” Ron said softly. “I think I always saw this coming. Christmas is a time of giving, and I don’t want to be the one who makes you unhappy by holding you back. You have suffered enough. If you can find a way to make it work with Snape, I think you should.”


Hermione could not believe her ears. She never thought in a million years that Ron would be so understanding. It made her a little sad she had not given him a real chance. How could she have? Her heart was not hers to give him. Her heart still belonged to Severus.


“Thank you,” she said softly, and held her arms out to him.


Ron held her closely, and let her cry on his shoulder. He was not going to turn his back on her. She was his best friend, after all.


“I think I would just like to go to bed, now,” she said a few moments later, wiping the tears from her cheek.


“Ginny’s not in right now, why don’t you go ahead and make yourself a bed in her room?” Ron suggested, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze.


“That sounds lovely,” she replied, and headed for the stairs.


Hermione climbed into the freshly transfigured bed and stared at the ceiling. She wondered why he hadn’t shown. Was it because he actually was with someone else, and felt it would be too awkward? She hoped that wherever he was, he was happy, and safe.


//I would be happy just to hold the hands I love

Upon this winter night with you//


Severus stood outside the Leaky Cauldron. It was nearly midnight. Surely if Hermione had come to meet him, she had left hours before. He took a deep breath and entered the pub. He could stay here a few more days, he supposed. There was nothing for him in his cabin to be rushing back to, after all. He made his way over to the bar and ordered a Firewhisky.


Just as Tom set his drink in front of him, Severus felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find himself face to face with Ginny Weasley.


“Hello, Severus,” she said cheerily, although he detected a glimmer of apprehension on her face.


“Miss Weasley,” he answered.


She took a seat on the barstool next to him.


He grunted. He was really not in the mood for company right now, particularly the company of a Weasley, of all people.


“Look, I actually did not come here by accident,” she said quickly, as if nervous.


“Congratulations on your ability to navigate, Miss Weasley,” he snipped.


“You know, some things never change,” she snapped back at him.


“Indeed,” he retorted, taking another sip of his Firewhisky.


“I don’t know what Hermione ever saw in you!” she snapped.


Severus winced at the mention of her name, and took another sip to avoid speaking.


“I don’t know why she mopes around after four years, still in love with you, but she does,” Ginny said evenly.


Severus steeled himself.


“Miss Weasley, if you understand the situation as thoroughly as you claim to, you will remember that she is the one who chose to be with someone else. She is the one that no longer wanted to be with me,” he said coolly.


“You really are thick, you know that? She did not choose to be with someone else,” Ginny retorted.


“I saw the letter, Miss Weasley. I saw the memory,” he said growing frustrated.


“You saw what she wanted you to see!”


“What are you talking about?”


“She never cheated on you, Severus. Roger was a paid actor. She wanted you to have a reason to say goodbye to her,” Ginny said softly.


“So it is a matter of details, then is it? The point is, she wanted out,” he snapped, head swimming with the information Ginny was throwing at him.


“She never wanted to be apart from you! She did it to protect you! She was so afraid that Voldemort was going to find out about her and kill you for it!” Ginny said, practically shouting.


Severus spun on his stool to face the redhead. He grasped her shoulders and looked at her with deep intensity.


“What??” he said incredulously.


“She still loves you, Severus. It’s been four years and she can’t move on. My brother asked her to marry him, and she won’t, because her heart belongs to you. She waited for you here for seven hours.”


Severus could not believe what he was hearing, She still loved him? She had waited for him for seven hours?


“Do you know where she is now?” he asked, trying to keep his excitement in check.


“She is at the Burrow. Get some sleep and come to my house in the morning. All she wants for Christmas is you, anyway,” Ginny said.


Severus’ heart skipped a beat. Gods how he loved the woman, missed her, wanted to touch her. Suddenly his face fell.


“You said your brother asked her to marry him. Won’t he be there, too?”


“Yes, he will be there, Severus, but you needn’t worry about him. He knows that she loves you. He told her tonight that if she could make it work with you, then she should try to,” Ginny said, smiling.


Severus looked taken aback. Ronald Weasley? Acting like a mature adult? It seemed some things actually did change.


“Just come to the Burrow and see her. You might find that you still love her too,” Ginny said, although she knew that he did.


Severus gave her a small smile.


“I will be there, but tell no one,” he said, fighting desperately to contain the large grin that was breaking out on his face.


He hadn’t smiled in over four years.


Ginny left the pub smiling broadly. Perhaps Hermione would get her Christmas miracle after all.


Severus could not believe the turn of events. He never imagined that she was still in love with him. Perhaps he could have her back after all. He looked at the parcel wrapped in red and gold paper. He hoped that she would like the gift he bought after Ginny left the pub. This Christmas was certainly going to be one to remember.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Ginny walked down the lane to meet Severus. She had Harry’s invisibility cloak stashed in her pocket. She had her own present for Hermione this Christmas.


Severus stood at the gate, waiting for Ginny, just as she had asked him to do.


“I would like to surprise Hermione. Wear this, and follow me,” she told him.


Severus waited until the cloak covered his face before he smiled again. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Severus stood in a corner, to avoid being inadvertently touched. When Hermione entered the room, his heart skipped several beats. She was as beautiful as he remembered her, but she looked broken. His heart wrenched at the sight her in such a state of sadness. The rest of the Weasleys were already spread around the room, waiting for the festivities to begin. Ginny kept looking at the seemingly empty corner where Severus stood and grinning. He could not help himself, he was grinning too.


Arthur acted the part of Father Christmas, passing gifts around to everyone, and the room was filled with Holiday cheer. After the last present was opened, and Molly was preparing to head to the kitchen to make Christmas breakfast, Ginny spoke up.


“Not so fast, everyone. I have one last, very special gift for Hermione,” she said, unable to contain her grin.


Everyone looked at her curiously, even Hermione. There were no other parcels that anyone could see in the room. She walked shakily to Severus’ corner and gently pulled back the cloak.


Hermione’s eyes filled with tears and the rest of the room gasped in surprise.


“I knew what you really wanted for Christmas this year, and so I got it for you,” Ginny said, beaming.


Severus walked over to Hermione and took her hand.


“I have missed you more than you could ever imagine. I am so sorry I did not show up yesterday. I had no idea that you really missed me too,” he said, fighting the tear that wanted to creep out for some reason unbeknownst to him.


Hermione’s eyes glittered with unshed tears.


“It is my understanding that I still have your heart,” he said, looking into her amber eyes.


She nodded , tears spilling onto her cheeks.


“You still have mine, and I don’t want to trade back,” he said, tipping her chin up so that her eyes were level with his.


She wrapped her arms around him, crushing him in a hug. He kissed the top of her head profusely, willing his own tears to stay in. Gods forbid a Weasley should see him cry.


He held her for several minutes before speaking again.


“I have a Christmas present of my own to give you,” he said, reaching into his cloak.


He withdrew the box and handed it to Hermione. Hermione took it and shakily tore the paper, to reveal a small black velvet box. She nearly dropped it as she pried open the lid. Inside was a diamond solitaire.


“I lost you once, Hermione Granger, and I don’t ever want to lose you again. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” he asked her, voice breaking slightly.


Hermione lunged at him, showering his entire face with kisses, squeezing him as tightly as she could.


“I’m just not me without you,” she answered.


Molly sniffled from the doorway. Even Ron could not help but be affected by their love.


Severus bent down and captured her mouth with his as she slipped the ring onto her finger. He kissed her as if he would never kiss her again, which was just as well.


They had four years to make up for.


A/N: I hope you enjoyed my little Christmas story! Please Review! My muse has been totally deflated by the lack of reviews :(