who is phantom?

Disclaimer: don’t you just love these? I hate them! *beats off lawyers with keyboard* they’re mine! Mine I tell you!

A/N: HIYA GUYS, WHATSUP? WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPITALS? And I’m back! Yay! I’m sooooo happy! Heheheh, Harry lurves to fly… **smirks mysteriously**

CHAPTER FOUR!!!!

“Harry, come out with me”

“Piss off Kitty”

“But Harry, you’ve been hanging around in our flat moping for three days you need to come out!”

“Kitty, I once told you that I would never hurt you… keep bugging me, and I will conveniently forget I ever said that”

Harry’s cute, brunette flat-mate sighed dramatically

“Alright, I’m going out, to Macy’s, I’m meeting Dylan… you sure you don’t-?”

“Fuck OFF, Kitty” Harry yelled in a rare show of emotion. Harry was usually very reluctant to show any of his feelings, except perhaps lust…

The boy-who-lived strode angrily into his room and flopped down on the bed. He knew he should be going out, but since he had left Sirius’ he found that he simply didn’t want to. If he did his godfather might find him again, and tell him that he didn’t love him… that he was just using him for a good fuck.

And he was a good fuck, no one could deny that.

But that wasn’t the point. Harry didn’t think he could handle hearing Sirius, his Sirius, telling him that he didn’t love him. Harry had suffered enough heartbreak in his lifetime.

Sighing, he got up and changed into his hawk form, flying out the window. Harry loved flying. He had never liked quidditch all that much, but it gave him a good excuse to fly all the time, so he’d kept at it, now he had his bird forms with which to fly and he loved it. The sheer sense of freedom he felt whilst soaring above London was, as far as Harry was concerned, better then sex.

Getting bored with the hawk form he changed in midair into a robin, flittering in and out of clouds, then a pigeon, then a Raven, a crow, an eagle, a sparrow, a duck, and finally, he let his body shift into his favorite form, the shadow phoenix.

Joyfully he swept through the skies, black fire trailing from his wingtips, singing his joy to all who could hear him, his inky black feathers invisible to any muggles, but his voice clearly heard.

“Harry! Come down!”

Harry glanced down to the source of the voice, a roof garden on top of an old mansion, he was in the country now, and saw an old friend. His only connection to his past life, a certain werewolf who Harry often proclaimed he would love forever, Remus J. Lupin.

“Good morning cub” the graying werewolf said, smiling affectionately at the young man that appeared before him

“Remmy!” Harry yelled, throwing himself into the older mans embrace “I missed you, wolf”

“You too cub, it’s been too long since we last saw each other” Remus answered, petting harrys hair gently, as he snuggled into his robes

“Hey Remmy?”

“Yes cub?”

“I’ll love you forever, you know that, right?”

“Yes cub, I know, why do you ask?” Remus asked curiously, Harry was constantly saying that to him, as if he were afraid that he might lose him

“Because despite the fact that I love you like a father I am going to have to kill you”

Remus looked down at the young man who he did indeed consider to be his cub

“Why is that cub?” he asked gently, knowing Harry was upset about something

Harry pulled away from the werewolf’s embrace and curled up into a catlike ball under a small tree, shivering slightly.

“Cub?” Remus asked softly, something was defiantly wrong, Harry hated to show emotion, and now he was close to tears

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry whispered, looking up, a single, jewel-like tear running down his face

A look of understanding blossomed on Remus’ face, and he crouched down next to his cub

“Because he made me promise not too, if I should find you first, he wanted it to be a surprise. I never told him where you were cub; I wouldn’t betray your trust like that, and old paddy can be a little stupid sometimes. I take it your reunion didn’t go well?”

“Well?” Harry spat bitterly “well is most certainly not how it went… although I didn’t make it easy on him… and then I stormed out, and I don’t think he’ll be able to find me again…”

“Do you want him to find you?” Remus asked softly, wondering what Sirius had done to make Harry hate him so. Not that Harry could ever hate Sirius, he loved him too much, Remus was quite sure he was the only one who knew about Harry’s love for his godfather.

Harry might not hate Sirius, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hold a grudge, or even refuse to see him again, he was stubborn, which, when mixed with lethal cunning, slyness and the sex appeal of a thousand playboy magazines combined to create a very dangerous opponent. Old paddy was going to have to play this one very safe, Harry’s magic was off the charts, and he practiced martial arts. Sirius was going to come out of this battered and bruised if at all.

“Yes” Harry’s miserable voice answered after several long moments

“But you wont go to him?” Remus asked, already knowing the answer

“NO! My pride wont let me”

“Very well, a suggestion, if I may; don’t go too hard on old paddy, he has been searching for you all these years”

“Kay, wolf…. I’ll see you in a few weeks”

“fare thee well cub, and make sure to tell Sirius that it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t tell him, wont you?”

Harry laughed, changing back into a hawk and flying home

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

“Moony, what do I do? I found him and I lost him and I cant find him again and he hates me and-”

“Shut up paddy. First of all Harry does not hate you. Second, if you ever hurt my cub again I will kill you. Understood?”

Sirius nodded dumbly, smart enough to recognize when the wolf was speaking, rather then his old friend

“Good. Third, whatever you did must have been pretty bad paddy, he practically cried when he came over to visit”

it was later that same day Harry had talked to the werewolf and they were sitting in the old manor-house in the country that Harry had brought for Remus. It was held in Harry’s name, as it was worth too much for werewolves to own themselves, but it was Remus’ house.

“He was- wait, wait, wait… he was here?”

“Yes Sirius, Harry was here. I am his only connection to his old world, he relies on me to tell him how everything is going in his absence”

“But then, you know where he is! You knew he was alive and you never told me!?” Sirius yelled, enraged almost beyond description

“I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone where he was, or even if he was still alive. I love that boy like a son, Sirius. He is my cub. And I will never betray him, not even to you”

Sirius deflated, he felt awful, and his inner Severus and Remus were still giving him hell over what he had done to his godson

“If it makes you feel any better I didn’t tell him that you were alive either”

“It doesn’t, but thank you all the same,” Sirius answered miserably

“Stop moping paddy, if you want to find Harry you should be out looking! He party’s almost constantly, check the clubs”

“When you saw him earlier did he look like he wanted to party?”

“Well… no, admittedly, but he does love you Sirius, he just doesn’t like you very much right now”

“That doesn’t make sense, he loves me but doesn’t like me? Honestly Moony, I think you’re going senile”

“It makes perfect sense. Haven’t you heard that saying you can love your family to bits, but it doesn’t mean you have to like them?”

“No, I can’t say I have” Sirius mumbled, confused

“Oh, well aren’t you going to go look for him?”

“Why don’t you just tell me where he is?” Sirius whined

“Because I asked him not to”

Werewolf and animagus swiveled in their chairs to see a very upset looking Harry potter standing in the doorway. He looked adorable, his long hair hanging in front of his eyes in a sexily disheveled sort of way, black jeans a few sizes too large hung low on his hips, and he was wearing a pale pink t-shirt with the words ‘sex kitten’ emblazoned across the front in black, on the back of the shirt was a black-and-white picture of the male version of cat woman, with a whip in one hand.

“Remmy, Kitty’s in hospital… her latest turned out to be some sort of psychopath”

“Is she okay? Where is he now?”

“She’ll be fine in a few weeks, although I’m worried she might have a few psychological problems… he is dead”

“What happened to him?” Sirius asked

Remus rounded on him furiously

“Are you really that dense, Sirius Orion Black?” he yelled angrily

“Wolf, it’s okay, he doesn’t know” Remus nodded, and reluctantly left the room, allowing Harry to explain his problem to Sirius

“I killed him Sirius. I lost control of my magic. I’ve done it before, and until I can find someone to ground me I’ll probably do it again” Harry whispered

“Before being Voldemort, right? And what do you mean ‘someone to ground you’?”

“No… I have killed other times as well… three times, five if you include mouldy-voldy and this guy… once to save my own life, twice now to save Kitty, my flat mate, Voldemort, and then right after I left the wizarding world I accidentally cracked a muggers head open when I attempted an expeliarmus on him.”

“Oh Harry, I’m so sorry, I should have been here for you” Sirius whispered remorsefully

“No… it’s probably better if you don’t see me again actually, for you anyway… I don’t want to cause you trouble, Siri, and that’s all that will come of being associated with me”

“Hey, don’t you say that!” Sirius scolded gently, standing up and enfolding the younger man in his arms, Harry had been studying his feet, and when he felt his godfather’s arms encircle him he tensed, then relaxed into the embrace, sighing happily

Sirius chuckled softly

“Now that I’ve finally found you I’m never letting you go, you realize that right? Even if I have to put a leash on you”

“Hmmm, a leash you say?” Harry replied saucily “that would involve a collar would it not? Are you into dominance and submission Siri?” he continued cheekily

“I’m not opposed to it actually… but… Harry I am so sorry for, for what happened the other night. I should never have done that and I-”

“I’m not.” Harry said sharply, cutting him off

“You’re not what?” Sirius asked, confused

“Sorry. About the other night, I mean.” Harry looked up at Sirius and gave a hesitant smile

Sirius gaped. Then closed his mouth and swallowed

“Well, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting” he croaked, his throat suddenly dry

Harry gave a cheeky smile, and bit his lip in an extremely suggestive way. Sirius cleared his throat and attempted to bring coherent thoughts into his head. But with Harry in his arms, as good as telling him that he wanted him that was rapidly becoming very difficult.

Inside Harry was laughing his arse off. Sirius’ thoughts were once again battering their way through his mental barriers, and some of them were downright hilarious. Things like; ‘but, who… and he wants me but then moony… and then he, and now he’s… get your head together man’ accompanied by mental slaps to the head were just funny to hear whilst in this sort of position.

“Siri?”

“Yes?”

“You’re thinking really loudly again”

“Sorry love”

Harry sighed happily again as Sirius’ thoughts softened, and he snuggled into the older mans embrace again.

About three seconds later he scrambled away with a strangled, wolf-like yelp and sat shivering at the other end of the room under a desk, eyes wide.

“Moony!” Sirius yelled “Moony get your arse in here! Something’s wrong with Harry!”

The werewolf skidded into the room and immediately went over to where Harry was hiding and began to growl to him soothingly, speaking to him in wolf, as it were.

Harry shook his head and whined, a soft yap, a low snarl, which Remus answered with a soothing whine and a low growl. Harry very hesitantly crawled out from under the desk and curled up in a tiny ball in Remus’ arms, looking rather like a kitten, or a puppy

“Shhhh cub, it’s okay, he didn’t mean it, I promise” the werewolf said soothingly, rubbing Harry’s back

“S, s, sorry… I don’t mean to be so much trouble,” Harry murmured

“You aren’t any trouble cub, you know that”

“I love you forever wolf”

“You too cub, are you tired?”

Harry nodded sleepily, and Remus picked him up, sending Sirius a warning glance not to move.

When Remus returned several minutes later minus Harry Sirius stood up, his eyes clearly conveying his worry

“He’s fine paddy, don’t worry.”

“But he-”

“I know, here’s a hint to you, oh friend of mine, do not use the ‘L word’ around Harry. He doesn’t respond well to it.”

“But, he told you he loves you, and you agreed” Sirius said, an almost comical look of confusion on his face

“Yes, but I never actually use the word ‘love’. I say ‘you too’ or ‘ditto’. Never once have I ever used that word when talking about him”

“Why?” the animagus demanded

“Because during the war Harry engrained it into his own brain that anyone he loved, or who loved him would die. Think about it paddy, Hermione and her parents, a number of the Weasleys, Severus, Draco… those last two especially hit him very hard.”

“Okay, Snivelus I understand, Harry told me about that, but Draco Malfoy? The despised, and yet amazing, bouncing ferret?”

Remus chuckled, before proceeding to explain everything to his old friend

“Yes, the amazing bouncing ferret, after Ron abandoned Harry for ‘letting’ Hermione die at the beginning of there sixth year Harry drifted over to Slytherin. He got resorted at the halfway through that year, and he and Draco became very close. I believe they even completed a brother bonding ritual, Harry almost died of broken heart when Draco was killed, I think Severus was the only person he was living for at that point… when Hogwarts was finally attacked during his graduation and Severus was killed he just snapped, killed Voldemort, Bellatrix, Lucius Malfoy and half a dozen other death eaters before Dumbledore finally managed to stun him long enough to sedate him. When he finally woke up he disappeared, and even I didn’t hear from him for at least… oh, six months it would have been. He didn’t contact me till after he had settled himself, he’s been living with this Kitty girl ever since, he has a good job, and people respect him because of who he is, not what he is. Don’t try to drag him back into the open, paddy… that boy loves you, and he will do anything for you, even becoming a celebrity again, but he’ll hate it… and I, for one, will never forgive you”

A/N sooooo, what do we think? Sorry about Remmy’s long rant…ummm, reviews are shiny, and I am a magpie.