Who am I really?

Title: Who am I really?

Summary: AU!! “You cannot be Harry Potter. Harry Potter died thirteen years ago, along with his parents. Only his twin brother survived, ‘Theodore Potter’.”

Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me. This magical world and everything in it belongs to JK Rowling and her publishers.

Warnings: Okay, this will be a BDSM fic, for certain, but only later on in the fic. This is Snarry slash, Snape will be the Dominant but it will be very different from ‘Life as I know it’, Harry will stand up for himself more…

AN: Someone pointed out that they don't like the 'italics' in the sentences. Too bad, I put them there for a reason, either to emphasize a word or because it's something I want to 'highlight' - like book names and such. If you don't like it then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to change it just to suite your needs.

Chapter 3: Meetings

Severus refused to acknowledge the fact that he had been shocked speechless for the first time in years – by a child no less!!

Opening the door through which the boy had walked as if it was an everyday occurrence – which it probably was, Severus reflected – he scowled down at the boy’s smiling face, effectively diminishing the glow which had dominated the brat’s face.

“I’m afraid that not all of us wish to exhibit ourselves the way you do so I won’t even deign you with an answer to your earlier question. Follow me or you can content yourself with writing on skin and clothes for the rest of the year. What you’ll do for Potion’s ingredients will be up to you but I dare say you are too small to last even half a year if you were to use yourself for the potions…”

This had the desired effect and the boy silently followed Severus out of the castle and to the edge of the wards.

Severus thrust a vile in the unsuspecting boy’s hand and ordered him to drink. The brat looked skeptical and Severus pointed out that if he had wanted to kill the boy he could have done so a thousand times over already, without anyone finding out. Why would he do so now where they were out in the open and anyone could see?

The boy swiftly downed the potion.

It was with quite a shock that Severus realized he felt better, and less hostile toward the child now that he had auburn hair and looked less and less like the Potter brat. The potion was only a temporary solution but as they were going out into public once again, Severus could not take the chance that anyone might see the resemblance between the two Potter children.

Severus reached out for the brat in order to apparate the both of them to Diagon Alley when the boy flinched back momentarily. It was swiftly covered up by dropping down to the ground and re-tying his shoelaces but Severus had recognize the action for what it was and stored the information away for later scrutiny.

“Before we leave to do our shopping I wish to talk to you about something.” The boy looked up from where he was tying his other shoe and Severus decided that yes, now was the best time to discuss this with the boy.

“I’ve thought about your request for help in finding a suitable name…” The boy dropped all pretences of being busy and gave his full attention to Severus. “A cousin of mine had recently found himself in a difficult situation and paid for his negligence with his life. He was the last of their line as he didn’t have children of his own. No need to ask why, know only that women prefer a man all to herself and not as part of a group. We might be able to pass you off as his son, no one would look too deep into it as he was rather insignificant and everyone knew of his interest in women.”

Severus could see that the boy was both horrified at what he’d said as well as intrigued.

He knew that it was not exactly the ideal solution, being passed off as the bastard child of a man who had a different woman in bed every fortnight was not something Severus really wished upon anyone, not even his enemy’s child but as their timing was limited, it was the best he could do on such short notice.

“So, so that will mean I’ll be a distant relative of yours, right? And, and, that most decisions regarding me would have to fall upon you, as you will be my closest ‘family’, right?”

Severus was surprised that the boy had caught on so quickly but he was also pleased with the fact, as it just proved his latest thoughts that the boy was not as stupid as Severus had at first suspected he was.

“Yes, that is correct. The headmaster will no doubt agree to the plan and as soon as he gives his approval, I will file for ‘guardianship’ at the Ministry – I’ll explain later what the Ministry is – the headmaster, while he is a great wizard and a master chess player – Severus was not going to let his true thoughts regarding the old man slip in such a public place – he usually only see what he wishes to see. I’ll have custody of you by the end of the day and when the headmaster realizes by dinner time that he will have less ‘authority’ over you than I myself will have, it’ll be too late.”

The boy nodded his head but Severus could see that there were still some things that he didn’t understand. He promised himself that they’d talk about them that evening, for now, they had shopping to do.

“Your surname will from henceforth be McShane; it’s a derivative from Gaelic and it means ‘Old’ or ‘Wise’, ironic really if you think that neither had the line existed long enough to represent ‘Old’ nor was anyone in that line ‘Wise’ enough to make alternate plans should the line die out.”

The boy looked rather pleased to finally have a name – or as the case may be – a surname again.

“We can discuss your name later today, think on it and if you have any suggestions for a name, which would go well with McShane, tell me and we’ll decide together.”

*--------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Harry looked around in awe at all the books around him. He would just love to lose himself in the shop and never be found by anyone.

A shadow fell over him and he looked up in his Professor’s face.

“Here’s the list of the books you’ll need. You will have to procure all the Transfiguration texts up to fourth year as well as the Charms and Potions books. Defense Against the Dark Arts, you will only need this year’s prescribed book as well as last year’s. All other subjects you need only this year’s books.”

Harry felt his jaw drop at the sheer number of books he needed but then his face quickly morphed into a bright glow as he smiled so wide that his eyes were mere slits.

Ohhh, there were so many books that he’d get to read…

The paper with the list on was thrust in his hands and Harry looked up to thank his Professor.

“Get all these books, if you need help, ask one of the assistants – they are the ones with the white shirts with red books on – also, find two other books for extra reading. Be finished within half an hour, I will be back then to pay for the books.”

Harry could only nod dumbly as he watched the Professor exit the shop.

The search for all his required school books went swiftly with the help of an assistant and Harry had fifteen minutes left to look for two books he himself wanted to read.

After perusing a shelf for five minutes he walked over to another section that looked interesting. Another five minutes later he returned to the first shelve and looked through three books he had decided looked interesting, selecting the one he thought he would be able to learn the most from without boring himself to death, he quickly returned to the other shelve and once again went through three books he had previously marked out for himself. In the end he decided on one book that would help him organize his mind and thoughts: “Occlumency for beginners” and a book he thought might come in handy during house work: “Domestic spells for lazy bums”.

He had just finished loading his ‘trolley’ with the last two books when Professor Snape entered the shop. Making his way over to the front he stood in the queue with the Professor at his side. It was quite interesting to watch the expressions on various people’s faces when they caught sight of the Professor. Something gave Harry the idea that Professor Snape was not well liked among the student population, why that could be he didn’t know but as some children pointed and whispered behind their hands, Harry couldn’t help but scowl at them. This man had ‘saved’ him from all those beggars and now he was showing Harry a whole new world. That some people were rude to the Professor behind his back was both immature and impolite and Harry wouldn’t stand for it.

The Professor was just handing over the right amount to the cashier when a tall gangly looking teen raised his voice loud enough for Harry to hear.

“That we have that greasy git as a Professor for ten months a year is bad enough but to have to see him during the holidays….”

Harry had heard references such as ‘greasy git’ with regard to Professor Snape enough times that day that he knew without a doubt who the boy was talking about. The pointed finger could also have showed him who the boy was referring to but he wasn’t looking at that.

Without further thought, Harry approached the red-head with a scowl on his face.

“Just who are you calling a ‘git’? That is a Professor at your school and he deserves more respect than what you’ve shown today. If you can’t say something complimentary about a person then you should just keep quite until you know more about that person, rather than just going along with the ‘majority’.”

Harry knew without looking that almost everyone in the shop had turned their attention to the two of them but he didn’t care.

He had lived on the streets long enough to know how hard it was to earn even a smidgen of respect, to be a Professor at an elite school would – in his opinion – demand the utmost respect from students and colleagues alike.

“Just who are you - his keeper? Look Theo, Snape there has gotten him his own personal guard, or are you a rent-boy?”

Harry didn’t know what ‘rent-boy’ meant but from the snicker the comment elicited, he knew it could be nothing good.

A boy with black hair and hazel eyes stepped out from behind the red-head and Harry had to bite his lip to prevent a gasp from escaping.

There was no mistaking in who this boy was. The hair and facial structure was so similar to the one Harry saw every time he looked in a mirror that he could barely believe his eyes.

The fact that he had a living, breathing twin brother crashed down on him with such force that he was certain he would have staggered back if not for the fact that Professor Snape chose that moment to step up behind him and lay a strong hand on his shoulder.

“Is there a problem here Mr Potter, Mr Weasley?”

Harry stored the name away and promised himself that he’d stay away from the boy once school started.

“No Professor, just talking.”

The hand on his shoulder tightened its grip for a moment before it left completely.

“Good, now if you’d excuse us, we still have some errands to run. Mr McShane, if you’re finished?”

“Yes Professor.”

Harry gave his Professor a nod and turned back to the two boys. His brother was standing up tall and proud and Harry could see out of the corner of his eye that most of the customers in the shop had dropped whatever they were doing to stare at his brother. The awe in their faces was making his stomach turn but when his brother then started asking around if anyone wanted an autograph he turned his face away and made his way swiftly to the door where Professor Snape was waiting for him.

He had gotten somewhat used to the Professor’s quirky behavior and was therefore shocked when no sarcastic or scathing comment came from the man.

“I had hoped that there could still be some reconciliation between the two of you, even with a meddling headmaster making his own moves but after that little scene, I’m afraid that there is little hope for you and your brother to ever get along. Pick up your jaw before someone else steps on it!! I might be a bastard but even I can acknowledge the fact that as a human, you need contact with family and friends. That your only living relative – I beg your pardon – the only living relative you know of, is an obnoxious boy who thinks the world revolves around him is not something I would wish upon anyone, you included.”

Harry snapped his mouth shut quickly but couldn’t keep is lips from twitching at the corners. His Professor had just defended him – in a round-about way – but still, he had never experienced anything like this before.

The rest of the day passed in a haze and as they entered the last shop, Harry realized his arms were cramping up from all the packages he was carrying.

He was the proud owner of three new school robes, one dress robe – the Professor refused to tell him why he would need it – and two pairs of everyday robes. He had also been ‘persuaded’ to buy a few shirts and trousers. When asked about underwear, he had blushed deep red and was quickly ordered to find some in his size.

His protests about the number of purchases they made on his person had all been shot down and he had long since resigned himself to the fact that the Professor would get his way, one way or another.

The appearance of an old man brought him back to the present and he could see that Professor Snape had a blank look on his face whenever the man looked at him – well, blanker than usual.

A soft, barely perceptible pressure on his toes alerted him to the fact that the Professor was stepping on his toes! Harry looked up at Professor Snape, breaking eye contact from the old man but when he found the Professor looking straight ahead he returned his attention to the old man, thinking that maybe it had been his imagination and that his Professor had not just stepped on his foot.

The old man had disappeared into the back of the shop and Harry looked up when a hand gripped his arm.

“Do not make eye contact with the old man if at all possible. I’ll explain later but don’t let him look you in the eye for more than five seconds!”

The hissed order was soft but Harry heard him. Before he could give any indication that he had heard, the old man returned and offered him a box.

Harry kept his eyes averted from the man’s face and soon found himself engrossed in the task of finding himself a wand.

After half an hour the old man was looking quite frustrated but with one last ‘ah-hah’, he left to the back of the shop once again to find his latest ‘bright idea’.

The sheer number of wands Harry had waved around like a fool was making his head spin. Professor Snape stiffened at his side and Harry looked enquiringly up at him.

“Don’t take the wand. Whatever you do, don’t take the wand.”

Once again Harry had to strain to hear but he thought he had heard correctly and when the old man laid out a black box in front of him he held his hand over the box but didn’t touch the wand.

Why the Professor didn’t want him to touch the wand was a mystery but he would play along for now.

“Errr… I don’t mean to sound rude, but, I’ve tried a hundred wands already, maybe I’m just not meant for one.”

The old man looked affronted at that and explained that every witch and wizard in England had received his/her wand from him and that he – Mr McShane – was no exception.

When the old man once again thrust the wand at him he started to panic. He could feel warmth radiating from the wand and he itched to hold it in his hand but he refrained from doing so.

“Come now Mr McShane, this here wand is a powerful wand. Its brother was also very powerful but thankfully, along with its master, it’s now dead and buried. You look like a fairly powerful young wizard and I’m sure that even if this is not the ideal wand for you, it will work until we find your wand.”

Harry could hear his Professor saying something under his breath but it was too soft to hear just exactly what he was saying. When the old man in front of him suddenly quieted and just looked at him with a blank face, Harry turned to his Professor.

“I did a complicated charm that will enable me to change his memory of this event as soon as we’ve finished our purchase. The reason I didn’t want you to touch the wand just yet is because it is the brother wand to the one the Dark Lord used. If you are destined for this wand… it would raise too many questions that’s best left unanswered. He will undoubtedly realize that you are the young Potter twin, long thought dead. Mr Olivander might be a respectable wizard but Professor Dumbledore has a lot of power over him and would find out soon enough that you have this wand. I can see that you are itching to pick up that wand and that can only mean that it is the wand you were destined for. Return to the position you were in before I started the spell and pick up the wand. I will change Mr Olivander’s memory accordingly and we can leave. We will talk about the implications of this at a later stage.”

Harry nodded quickly and tried to rearrange himself the way he was standing before the old man had ‘blanked’ out.

The result after picking up the wand was much as Professor Snape had predicted. The old man froze for a moment before stammering out the word “Potter”. Professor Snape quickly finished the spell and changed the old man’s memory and they were once again out in the open fresh air.

A hand on his shoulder startled him somewhat but Harry relaxed when he found Professor Snape gazing down at him.

“You did well today Mr McShane.”

Harry smiled up at the man and closed his eyes when he felt the pull on his being that indicated the start of the apparition.

*------------------------------------------------------------------*

Severus took the cup that was offered to him in silence.

The day had not gone as he had planned but he could honestly say that he was not really angry or disappointed in that fact.

“Before we start discussing the happenings of the day; have you decided on a name yet?”

The boy lowered the cup he was sipping from and looked deep in thought.

Severus had debated whether or not to invite the boy over to his place for once millisecond before he had come back to his senses.

Sitting on the couch in the ‘boy’s’ living room, he thought it had been a good idea that he had decided on the boy’s room for the talk they would have. The boy was much more relaxed in his own rooms than he would have been in Severus’s quarters.

“I have an idea but I’m not sure if it would work with ‘McShane’. Raymond, Raymond McShane.”

Severus was quite impressed with the boy’s choice. Not only had he chosen a name that went well with ‘McShane’ but he had chosen one that went well with the boy himself – his personality, or at least, that which Severus has observed from him.

“That’s a wise choice; do you know what the name means? No? It means ‘Guards Wisely’ or ‘Mighty Protector’.”

The boy looked a bit shocked for a moment before he once again faced Severus.

“Why do you say it’s a wise choice?”

Severus looked over the boy and took in some details that people would normally miss or look over. Yes, he had a very strong feeling that his suspicions were correct.

“Because of who you are.”

End Chapter 3

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