Mysterious Encounters

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"Malfoy? But- what does he have to do with anything?" I know she knows I've seen him again. She's stuttering and looking nervous. I see the pity in her eyes.

"He was there yesterday. When I left you guys I sort of bumped into him on the way to the restroom. That pompous, snobby git. He'll never change." The latter sentences are said bitterly and in a slightly lower and menacing volume than that of their former.

My temper is rising. Ginny is starting to sweat and is looking around her as if trying to locate a hole she can crawl into for safety until I conclude my tirade.

"Oh… what did he say?"

Her eyes find the door. I sense her mind calculating how much time she has to reach there before I commence with my outburst.

"He was in no mood for my dramatics, apparently."

"Oh, Hermione. I'm really sorry."

She's hugging me know. I love Ginny but I'm just not comfortable with having physical contact with her. It's a sign that's something is wrong. She always hugs me when she has a feeling I'm feeling some strong, sad emotion or whatnot. She's not one to hug on the basis of happiness. She feels sorry for me. Ginny's hugs always involve her pity.

I do not like being pitied.

"It's fine, Ginny, I'm OK." My voice is muffled as it is squashed against my friends' shoulder.

"What did he say? Has he mentioned anything? Where has he been? What has he been doing lately?!" Oh, no. Her voice is rising.

"WHY DID HE LEAVE? DID HE APOLOGIZE? THAT BASTARD!"

I gulp. My eyes start to sting and my heart feels heavy and my breathing is labored. I don't want to cry. Because if I do, I will not only admit to still having feelings towards Malfoy to Ginny. It will be a realization to myself that I am not yet, and will not in the near future, be able to handle.

"I only saw him for a while, Ginny. I saw him for exactly one minute before I left."

…

"Ginny, you're crushing me."

She smiles and pulls away slightly. There're tears in her eyes and I know she feels bad for what I had to go through. I feel guilty about making her feel this way and bite my lip.

All of a sudden it gets to hard to bear. I feel like breaking down and I haven't had the chance to do so ever since he left. Three years ago.

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Draco and I met each other everyday. We'd steal hidden kisses, make love every night, and hold each other until we both woke up. The nights were full of secrets and pleasure no one knew about but us. Not even Harry and Ron.

It would get emotional sometimes. Sometimes, I'd wake up screaming in terror, and he'd hold me until I'd fall back to sleep again. Once, while making love in the shower, I could taste salty tears on his face where I would kiss him. The water was running down his face and he thought I didn't notice.

During the day I could never have him. We played different roles, and although he had joined the Light side, unbeknownst to everyone not in the Order, Draco was still a Death Eater.

Our relationship was different. Friends with benefits. You couldn't even classify it as that. Our relationship, as I foolishly believed at the time, was purely based on lust.

In the mornings, when we'd break apart, the world was normal again. Everything was as it should be.

I cared for him. But in a way that is hard to explain.

My love for Harry and Ron caused me to fear for their lives every second of the day. They were always a weight on my shoulders. Grief and fear that was dragging me down. Fear that consumed me.

But with Draco, I never felt that way. I was able to push him out of my mind once it was time to reenter the war again. It was as if our relationship was only slightly different than it was before he had joined the Light. I cared for him, but never thought of him during the day. During that time, all my mind could focus on was making sure Harry and Ron stayed alive. Making sure I stayed alive.

Our meetings were beneficial, but only for purely selfish reasons. I didn't care about his pleasure. Pleasuring him was only a means of gaining more pleasure myself. It was all about the sex. It was a place we felt safe and sound. A place where we were not judged.

*

Draco was forced into an engagement to Pansy Parkinson. Draco and Pansy's father were put together in organizing a raid to Hogwarts and Voldemort decided that their relationship would make it easier to communicate as Draco and Pansy would be forced to spend a lot of time together. Pansy was known for being impractical and silly and her father, devoted to her as he was, didn't want Pansy to have something to complain about as he knew it would take his mind and a great deal of time away from the larger troubles of his Dark Lord. Therefore, Draco was expected to be there for Pansy and give her himself. Emotionally and physically.

When Snape found out about Voldemort's ideas, he suggested that Malfoy spend as much time as possible with Pansy to make it believable to her father, who was one of Voldemort's most trusted men. By seducing her, he could gain valuable information for the order. She and her father were close. It was expected that she knew of many things. Mr. Parkinson was one of Voldemort's most faithful men and in his most trusted inner-circle. The many doubts of where Snape's loyalties lay caused many thoughts of suspicion to go through Voldemorts' mind, and instead of having him murdered, he decided that Snape was the most intelligent of all his followers and therefore, was useful to his cause. After all, who had told him of the prophecy in the first place?

Before Voldemort's command had arisen, Draco was the only thing stable in my life. Our nightly encounters where something of a ritual, and for two months, we hadn't been apart. I was overcome with jealousy and distress at the thought of Malfoy leaving me and spending all the time he'd saved to be with me to Pansy. Who was I to depend on when I got lonely at night? Who would tell me that tomorrow was another day closer to the end of the war? Who would hold me when I awoke screaming in the middle of the night and tell me that one day, all this would be over?

I could come to terms with his forced upon relationship with Parkinson. I could somewhat handle the nights apart. But for reasons unknown to myself, I could not handle him sleeping with another woman.

During our last nights together before their engagement was formerly announced to the rest of the Death Eaters, including Pansy herself, I would constantly cry in the arms of a soothing Draco. He'd pat my hair and rock me in his arms until I'd fall asleep. I had gotten attached to Draco. And now, the only source connecting me with sheer sanity was suddenly going to be taken away from me.

It was possible for us to see each other during the nights he could sneak away and when he'd be free of his obligations to Pansy after she'd fallen asleep. But I had to end our "relationship." I didn't want to add a new emotional problem to my list.

I didn't want to sleep with a man who had just crept out of some other women's bed.

Looking back now, I guess I was being uncaring and indifferent towards Draco and his feelings. He was forced into this position and I knew he too had grown attached to our nightly meetings.

On the last night, our love-making was violent. We both had tear-stained cheeks and tears were continually flowing from my already red-rimmed eyes. Although we tried to last as long as possible, our sadness and sense of foreboding forced us to cling to each other and try to be as close to each other as physically possible, which caused are sex to be fast and hard. All though the sensation was pleasurable, inside I was being torn apart.

When we finished we fell almost instantly asleep. The last conscious thought I remember was Draco placing a gentle kiss on my forehead before I drifted off into satisfied, but heavy-hearted, nothingness.

I woke up the next morning cold and alone.

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A/N: Hey, again! Thanks for all the great and supporting reviews. I love them. Completely obsessed. Please continue to review as they lift me out of my tired gloom and motivate me to get off my lazy ass and continue writing… Hope you all liked this chapter. Please review and tell me your thoughts and suggestions, whether good or bad. It may take some time untill I get the fourth chapter up. I'm really sorry and hopefully this chapter is good enough to satisfy the amount you may have to wait.
Thanks,
Riddikulus