Beleaguered

Milli wondered.



Was life really so terrible…was it really so amazing?



To her, life was simply life. It was neither amazing nor terrible. It just was.



She watched the children now. Their arms in the air. Reaching for something only they could see.



‘I was one of them, once.’ She thought. Voices around her faded in and out. Images became blurs. She bowed her head, closed her eyes and remembered the first time she began to hate him.



****

To say that she was bored would be an understatement. She was exhausted. If she had to hear another ‘aunt’ say that she would be almost as pretty as her mother if she just lost some weight, Millicent swore she would impale the serving fork into her chest.



She was only eight, a deceiving age. Everyone thought her so naïve and innocent, but she wasn’t. She saw things. Things that made her sick. Her mother on the table, with her skirt around her waist and a waiter thrusting into her. Her father snorting that white substance that made his face go red and his eyes glaze over.



Oh. How she hated them! All of them were so wrong.



She walked down the dark hall. The music of the grand hall dimmed as she walked further away. The night was warm and there was a beautiful breeze that made the curtains of the vast windows shudder for a moment and rest once more. The light was faint and seductive. Her dress felt itchy and she absently scratched her neck.



She saw a faint light frame a door. She crept closer, not wanting to be seen. She peered into the elegant room. On the sofa with his head bent and hair shielding it, Lucius Malfoy whispered to his son. Millicent could not hear what was being said, but she did see the way Lucius tenderly looked down at his son. The way his lips almost touched Draco‘s.



‘They’re beautiful.’ She thought to herself. It was not only their appearance, Millicent knew, but the way they seemed to know wonderful secrets, secrets no one else was privy to.



Draco’s eyes were closed…every whisper was felt. When Lucius stopped, he smiled. Not really a smile, more a lift of the side of his lips. Draco slowly opened his eyes and gazed at his father with no expression on his face. After a pause he whispered something to his father, and looked directly at her. His father frowned and turned his head to her. Millicent gasped and hid behind the door. She stood still. ‘Perhaps if I’m really quiet they’ll forget that I was here in the first place.’ She prayed.



“Come in.” Lucius’s came from within the room.



She was ashamed now. They weren’t supposed to see her.



Tentatively, she walked into the room. Her chin touched her chest, and she fiddled with the hem of her dress. She hoped that they knew that she was extremely sorry for intruding on their private moment.



“Now, come here. We can’t have spies around our home.” Lucius’s voice was more amused than angry.



“I’m really sorry.” Millicent whispered in her best apologetic voice.



“No she’s not.” Draco said, again no expression on his face, his voice not sounding childlike at all. Millicent’s head snapped up and she hated the way Draco raised his eyebrow as if to dare her to disagree with his statement. Again she lowered her head, what else could she do?



“Come here.” Lucius beckoned her, his hand outstretched to welcome her. She walked towards him and took hold of his hand. He guided her to him and set her on his lap. He brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and asked, “Tell me, what is your name?”



Millicent sat up straighter and looked him directly in the eye. “Millicent Bulstrode.” She said with much more confidence than before.



Lucius looked down at her, amused once more. “It’s a pleasure Miss Bulstrode. I am Lucius Malfoy. And this…” He gestured to Draco, “…is my son, Draco Malfoy.” Millicent looked at Draco, yet still his face showed nothing.



“It’s nice meeting you Draco Malfoy.” She said. Draco did not reply, but he did not look away either. Millicent bit her lip, Draco’s eyes were beginning to make her uneasy. They were so blue, a pure blue. No other color was present. And they were cold, not a child’s eyes.



“Take off your dress.” Draco said, glancing at her dress and then back at her face.



“No. Why would I do that?” Millicent’s face showed her confusion. Draco said nothing, Millicent thought he wouldn’t.



“You’re obviously uncomfortable.” He said when Millicent turned to talk to his father.



She glanced back at him. “No I’m fine.” She said, hoping she sounded convincing. Her dress was really beginning to itch.



“I better go back to the ball. I am the host after all.” Lucius said with a small chuckle.



“Alright.” Millicent said as she slid down. She stood to the side ready to follow him.



“Why don’t you stay here with Draco. You should get to know each other a bit better.” Lucius put his hand on Millicent’s shoulder. And somehow she knew that he was telling her, rather than suggesting. But that did not make her want to stay anymore than before. Draco frightened her for some reason.



“Okay.” She said as she entwined her fingers. Draco was sprawled across the couch, already displaying the cool confidence he would master in his teenage years. His eyes were heavily lidded and his mouth was pouting, but Millicent thought that it was unintentional. He did not watch his father walk out, he did not take his eyes off of Millicent.



When Lucius exited, he shut the door behind him. Millicent jumped a little. She turned towards Draco, put on a shaky smile and asked, “Do you want to play some?”



Draco stared at her for a one moment more, his lips parted, his eyes darkened. “Yes we should play.” his voice sounded like her father’s did after he snorted that white powder.



“What should we play?” Millicent asked, feeling more at ease since this was familiar ground.



“Take of your clothes.” He said as stood slid down the seat and stood before her. He went for the sash on her back. He began to pull at it, when Millicent pushed him way. She looked confused and angry.



“You’re not supposed to do that.” Millicent wasn’t quite sure why this was wrong, but she knew that it was.



“Millicent…Milli. You have to take off you dress. You’ll get it dirty if we don’t take it off.” That sounded reasonable to Millicent, and she liked how he shortened her name. It sounded much prettier that way.



“Okay.” She said, knowing now that a dirty dress would make her parents very angry. Draco walked back towards her and began to help her. He helped with every single button. Caressed all pale flesh that was uncovered. Millicent wondered why it felt so nice for him to touch her like that. He stood a few inches above her, looking down.



When she was in just her knickers she looked up at him and smiled at him. “So what game are we playing?” She asked exited to begin. If just getting ready for the game felt so nice, she knew that the game itself would be nice too.



“It’s a very fun game.” he said as he held on to her shoulders.



Millicent looked at him. “Don’t you have to take off your clothes. You don’t want to get dirty, do you?” She asked, her mouth opened a little.



“No. No, I don’t have to…” He looked down her body before he took her hand and led her to the sofa. He sat her on the sofa and kneeled between her legs. He put his hand on her upper thigh. He dragged his hand up her thigh. He stopped before he reached her knickers. He pushed the little scrap of material that was covering her bare innocents. Millicent did nothing, confused. He looked at it fascinated.



“Yours is different from Pansy’s.” He said lightly. He tilted his head to the side. He dragged one finger over her vaginal lips. He did that a few times, a few times that seemed like a thousand to Millicent.



“I don’t want to play anymore.” Millicent said feeling embarrassed for reasons she didn’t know. She pushed at Draco, but he didn’t move. She pushed again with all her strength, but still he stayed.



“Let me go.” She whined. Pushing at him, tears ready to spill.



“How pretty.” He was not talking to her, but more to himself.



Suddenly very angry, Millicent pushed at him with all her power. He was jarred back enough for her to be able to get off the couch.



She walked away from him. Picked up her fallen dress and ran to the door. She opened the door and just as she was about to exit she looked back at him.



He stood, leaning against the couch. His face flushed. His eyes opened wide, and darker than before. He gave her a small smirk.



“We’ll play again… soon.” He said.



Millicent could not stand to look at him any longer. She walked out of the room and closed the door behind herself.



****

Milli opened her eyes. Seeing the children again.



They did play after that first time. Many times. His grip on her had always been rough and firm. Many times she had bruises. He liked her bruises, said they showed her who she belonged to.



He would tell her how beautiful she was as he kissed her neck, even as everyone else said that she was ugly.



She wondered what her parents would say if they knew that she was no longer a virgin. Hadn’t been since her third year. Wondered what they would say if they knew hat the most desired boy…no man, she could never think of him as a boy, touched her at night.



Milli licked her lips.



She remembered how every boy that had ever looked at her for more than a minute or talked to her ended up in the hospital wing. How he would ram into her, yelling that she was his. Punishing her in a most gratifying way.



She remembered the long snake tattooed on his right side, starting from his naval going towards his back and snaking back to end just before his right chest.



She remembered his unyielding gaze. There was always passion and something else, something she couldn’t understand.



Milli looked at the people in front of her. Each one person looked happy.



She closed her eyes.



She knew that this was going to happen. She knew what she felt when she looked at him. Her need, her love for him was there even though she hated it for being there. She never hated him, she loved him and…it terrify her.