What must be done

Part 3
When I finally get home Harry is working on some research or other and isn’t to be disturbed. He has left a note in the kitchen and locked himself in his bedroom. I feel like I am at loose ends and wonder if I shouldn’t be going out again and doing something. Snape’s ring has provided me with a bit more liberty than most people have so I should actually try. But I realize that if I am caught the consequences will be disastrous both for me and our little organization.
It sounds egotistical but I am too valuable to risk unnecessarily when others can do the same job with less risk to the entire resistance. So I sit around the apartment cleaning and repairing clothing that has been mangled in one way or another and wait. Time flies if you are busy with something but when you are chomping at the bit for something to do it seems to stop to a crawl. Hours become days and days last an eternity.
Harry’s note said that my former employer called and let me know that my gentleman had let her know that I would not be working for her any more. Snape obviously isn’t one for sharing his toys. I am out of a job but can’t say that I am sad about it. The information I brought in was useful but often too little too late. By the time we figured out where they were about to strike, the Death Eaters were already there and we were cutting our losses yet again. Depression dances at the edges of my consciousness as the days become a week and then two.
I am almost happy when Snape summons me again. I dress much the same as last time leaving a note for Harry in the kitchen since he still hasn’t come out of his room. Again I Apparate in to the forbidding hall and wait for Snape to appear. He materializes from the shadows almost at once dressed in very expensive, stylish robes looking me over with criticism.
“Well, I suppose you couldn’t know. We will be attending one of the Dark Lord’s parties.”
The announcement it is a shock. It terrifies me.
“Won’t Malfoy notice that I’m the whore he found you for your birthday?”
“Unlikely and even if he did, I suspect he would think that I’ve brought you to thumb my nose at the ladies of high society who have suddenly decided that I am marital material for their daughters.”
The story makes sense since it’s something the bastard wouldn’t hesitate to do. But what if someone looks closer? I know that as much as this is a golden opportunity I really shouldn’t be taking such a chance.
“Um, you should have let me know to dress appropriately.”
Snape looks quite pleased with himself. I try to remember how often I have seen him in such a good mood. Well, tormenting Gryffindors aside. He leads me to a room beside the bedroom we used the last time I was with him. The closet in the room is full of expensive tailored wizarding clothing in my size.
“Allow me?”
Snape being courteous is a shock every time I experience it. With no idea of what he is asking, I nod. Snape comes to stand behind me his hands caressing my body almost with reverence. Slowly he discards my clothing one item at a time until I stand naked before him. Finally coming to stand in front of me again he kisses my throat.
“It’s a shame that we do not have time…”
He opens several drawers taking out underwear and stockings. He doesn’t allow me to dress myself instead I see that he takes great pleasure in dressing me. The underwear and stockings are black with silver decorations but the dress is gold and copper and form-fitting. Hair and make-up are easily fixed with a few charms and when I look in to the mirror, someone I don’t recognize is staring back at me. Again I wonder how much will be left of me in the end.
“Thank you.” I find that I am whispering.
“Don’t thank me, you are beautiful and such beauty should be displayed.”
Just before we leave for the party, Snape disappears for a minute and returns with a box. The choker is encrusted with diamonds and one bright red ruby in the middle. There are matching ruby earrings.
“I couldn’t…”
The evening is becoming quite surreal to me.
“Consider it a loan if you will.”
“You really are planning on snubbing the society ladies aren’t you?”
“I have to find some entertainment and this will be a dreadfully dull event. Insulting the matrons is one of the few bright lights at such a gathering.”
Malicious bastard.
“Then why go?”
Snape lets out a long suffering sigh caressing my cheek with his fingertips.
“Because we all have to make sacrifices from time to time.”
Looking up in to his eyes I wonder if he has realized who I am. But no, I can only see lust and annoyance reflected back at me and no recognition beyond the usual.
“Let us go, my dear.”
I wonder if the pet name is also something to piss off people at the party. He hasn’t bothered with them before. In fact he didn’t seem the type to use them even with someone who he would care for.
We Apparate to Riddle manor, now restored to its former grandeur. Our outer robes are taken not by house elves, as one would expect to see in the Dark Lord’s and Minister’s of Magic house, but by slaves with haunted eyes and heavy iron collars around their necks. I am grateful that I don’t know any of them personally. I could never stand seeing someone I used to know at Death Eater parties.
Snape directs me up one floor and to the heavy doors that lead to the ballroom. He smiles shaking out his robes as I smooth my dress before taking his arm again. I don’t know if I am up to a whole night of socializing with Death Eaters who would kill me on sight if they knew who I am. The doors are opened by another pair of slaves and all the people in the hall turn towards us when Snape is announced as the headmaster of Hogwarts. I feel sick hearing what the bastard’s prize was for his betrayal. I stiffen enough for Snape to notice and he squeezes my arm in a sort of comforting manner. The people part like the Red Sea, leaving a free path to the pedestal where the Dark Lord is sitting. I check my mental shields, tightening them just to be sure. There are only thoughts of money, sex and the small twinges of attraction I once felt for the Potions Master. Occlumency was the first thing Harry taught me as soon as he could. I look at the floor as we approach, only watching Snape from the corner of my eye. The Potions Master’s eyes aren’t lowered, his head isn’t bowed. He looks the Dark Lord in the eyes like they are equals.
“Ssseverusss…”
Snape’s name is almost a purr out of the Dark Lord’s mouth. The Potions Master nods his head slightly as he answers.
“My Lord, thank you for your generous invitation.”
The differential tone surprises me. But then how else would one speak to the ruler of England?
“Are you truly grateful for the invitation Ssseverusss? I ssseem to recall that you loathed leaving your lab to attend gatheringsss sssuch as thisss one.”
“I have found some benefits to attending my Lord, the first of course being in your company.”
I watch Snape smile innocently and wonder how people will react when he is blasted with Crutacious on the spot. But Voldemort simply smiles back and waves Snape away. As soon as we are out of the Dark Lord’s hearing range, the Potions Master’s body relaxes and I realize that he had tensed up completely during the short conversation.
“Shall we get a breath of fresh air my dear?”
I nod and he leads the way, ignoring the people in the crowd who call greetings out to him in the hope of striking up a conversation. The fact that Snape is known to be antisocial works to our benefit - no one tries to follow. Outside on the balcony Snape leans against the marble railing and watches the people inside.
“I thought he would hex you,]” I blurt it out before I can stop myself.
“The Dark Lord? No, he prefers me to live.”
“You sound like you would prefer not to.”
He caresses my cheek, studying my face before answering.
“If I did not have any obligations I might indeed prefer not to exist among the living. But alas I cannot leave my responsibilities any more than you can leave your brother.”
He gives an interesting paradox, or might have given one had I not told lies to him.
“I don’t mind being responsible for my brother.”
Being responsible for Harry is the only thing that keeps me hoping some days.
“Really? Even though he has forced you in to this profession?”
I open my mouth to answer but am interrupted by the Malfoys come out on to the balcony, looking magnificent and predatory.
“Severus, you didn’t say hello!”
He receives a slap with Narcissa\'s fan. Both the aristocrats ignore me and I am quite happy keeping it that way.
“I am sorry Narcissa, I fear that I am a bit preoccupied.”
“I can see that.”
Narcissa Malfoy’s predatory smile is turned at me as she sizes me up. I notice Lucius is quite interested too.
“I fear that I have been in remiss at introducing my companion for the evening. Lucius, Narcissia may I present Harmony Winter.”
“Winter?”
I can see that Lucius doesn’t believe a word . I am thankful that he doesn’t remember picking me up several weeks ago.
“Lord Malfoy.”
“Lucius please…”
I hope that I manage a passable blush as Malfoy kisses my hand. Narcissia doesn’t look pleased but Snape doesn’t seem to mind one bit. He lays a discrete hand on my lower back but doesn’t show any other sign of possessiveness.
“As you wish.”
I keep smiling faintly and hoping that he doesn’t get ideas. I know that Snape will not share. Still Lucius isn’t an easy man to say no to.
“Tell me Miss Winter, where do you come from?”
“I grew up abroadand have just recently returned to England. My parents loved to travel.”
That isn’t a lie. My parents did love to travel until they died. I am not sure by whose hand but Malfoy is as likely a candidate as anyone else. I don’t want to be in this conversation. In fact, I want to be as far from the Malfoys as possible unless they are going to talk business. Not waiting for the next question, I turn to Snape smiling shyly.
“Excuse me for a moment Severus. I need to powder my nose.”
It’s a Muggle euphemism but I can’t think of anything else at the moment. I don’t wait for Narcissa to offer to accompany me. I redo the charms on my face and hair in the ladies loo before braving the ballroom again in search of a drink. Hiding behind some bushes, I can listen in to several conversations. The information is still not really vital but better then the last batch that was brought in. Realizing that I’ve been away too long, I go back to the balcony in hope that Snape is still there and the Malfoy’s aren’t. Fortunately for me Snape is there looking up at the stars.
“I’m sorry I disappeared.”
“I expect you to make it up to me later.”
The words don’t sound like a threat and but neither is it a promise. I don’t understand why he isn’t pissed off that his ’date’ disappeared for more than half an hour.
“Of course.”
“The Malfoys were very curious about you - Lucius especially.”
That information is not something I want to hear.
“I noticed.”
“If you would prefer an introduction could be arranged. As a husband he can be difficult but as a lover he is quite generous.”
At first I don’t understand what he is getting at. Why the hell would I care about Malfoy’s behaviour as a husband or a lover? I don’t think I could handle it if I had to sleep with Lucius. Then a suspicion starts to form.
“Am I not pleasing you?”
“No, no, I enjoy your company immensely. I merely thought that a more powerful protector would be appealing.”
“I’d prefer if things stayed as they are if you don’t mind.”
I don’t look at him in case he really wants to get rid of me. But instead of answering, he takes my hand and kisses the knuckles.
“May I have this dance?”
“Of course.”
Dancing with Severus Snape at a Death Eaters gathering in the very presence of Voldemort is surreal. The Potions Master is a very good dancer and as we move around the floor I see several girls glaring at me angrily. So much for the greasy old potions master who nobody would touch with a bargepole. It seems he is considered quite a catch.
“Why not pick one of the girls here?”
His hand moves a fraction lower on my back, resting his fingers on the curve of my ass an inch from indecency. His hands hold me a little closer than necessary.
“The young women attending are all replicas of their mothers - good for nothing but breeding and looking pretty.”
“In other words you would get bored with them?”
“Quite. I enjoy women who have some experience in life. It makes them more interesting companions.”
The dance comes to an end and a slave approaches at the same time with a note. After one glance Snape gives it back to the slave and leads me away from the dance floor.
“The Dark Lord requests our presence in his private sitting room. I must stress that you keep all that happens there confidential even from your brother. If anything should leak out to the public it would be most unfortunate for you.”
He caresses my face with his fingertips and I start to suspect that he is touching me in stead of kissing. But his warning leaves me with a dilemma. I am bound to get information we need but how am I supposed to pass the information on without the Death Eaters coming to knock on my door. How the hell am I going to make the decision about what to tell and what not? I hope that we will not be alone so that Voldemort will not be able to focus on me. Snape, as much as he likes me apparently, will not be of any help if the Dark Lord breaks through my shields.
The sitting room is tasteful and intimate. Voldemort is in the back of the room again on a chair standing on a pedestal. The Malfoys on his right and LeStranges on the left. I fear that Bellatrix will recognize me for an instant but realize that I am not the schoolgirl she might have noticed at the Ministry any longer. Snape leads me to a loveseat across from the Dark Lord and sits down beside me. I can feel Malfoy’s eyes on me again and involuntarily squeeze Snape’s hand. Noticing the gesture Voldemort laughs.
“Don’t worry my dear, you have nothing to fear here.”
“Thank you for the comfort my Lord.”
I know that I have no guarantees whatsoever. The Dark Lord is insane and would think nothing of going back on his word if something I say or do offends him. On the plus side, this seclusion apparently allows for a less formal setting. Narcissa is leaning back against Lucius, playing with his hair. Bellatrix is more obvious and has her hand in her husband’s lap. I permit myself to lean back against Snape’s side wondering how he manages to make me feel safe.
At first the Death Eaters talk business. I listen silently watching every one in the room and wondering how we could undermine said plans. Then the talk becomes less formal and Lucius boasts about Draco’s successes at the university in Paris. To my surprise I see displeasure in the Dark Lord’s face at the fact that my former schoolmate has been send abroad. When attention finally returns to Snape and me, I am prepared. Snape does most of the talking and I memorize the lies he tells for the future. I am still wondering why he is bothering; why he isn\'t just telling them that I am a whore.
“Miss Winter pleassse tell me what you think of my little ball.”
Red eyes I don’t quite meet glow with malice as he asks me that question. Snape’s hand which has been rubbing the back of my neck freezes momentarily.
“I have not seen such an event for a long time. I do not get out often. My studies usually take up much of my time.”
The Dark Lord laughs.
“It ssseemsss Ssseverusss that you have found your-ssself a woman jussst like you.”
From the corner of my eye I see Lucius looking mildly disappointed and that cheers me.
“And what do you ssstudy Misss?”
I could lie. What is another lie more or less at this point? But I chose to tell the truth. Even though I haven’t had much time for studying since Voldemort won the war, I have at least tried to keep up from time to time.
“I study medicine My Lord. Healing potions mostly.”
Beside me Snape tenses again but this time I don’t know the reason. I wonder if that was the wrong answer. Fortunately the Dark Lord loses interest after my answer - probably not willing to deal with another academic. I suppress a smile: being an academic is the best repellent a person can have in social circles. Half an hour later we return to the ballroom. After a few dances Snape takes his leave of Riddle and we head out Apparating back to his home.
In the library with a glass of wine each, I suddenly realize that Snape has refused every time he was offered a drink tonight. I get questioned.
“Tell me why you lied to the Dark Lord?”
For the first time since our “acquaintance” he is truly angry at me.
“I didn’t lie, except when corroborating the lies you told on my behalf.”
“You told him that you study medical potions.”
I wonder what angered him more; the fact that it was potions I named or that I admitted to studying at all.
“And I do. I can prove it to you if you like?”
“That will not be necessary tonight. For the most part I would like to congratulate you. Everyone was rather charmed with you.”
“I aim to please.”
The words come out mocking and I hope that he ignores the tone. Snape only smirks and pours more wine. His anger seems to have drained away with my assurance that I can prove my claim. We sit in silence for a while before Snape motions for me to come to him. I recall that he said I would owe him for disappearing at the ball. I drop to my knees in front of him, reaching for the zipper of his pants. He is already hard when I take him out. I take him in to my mouth[,] playing with his balls. Snape moans, tangling his fingers in my hair but not forcing me to do anything I wouldn’t want to do. He spreads his legs and allows me more space, I draw the encounter out. I look up at him briefly and see his face unguarded, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. I hate him for being able to enjoy himself, for living when others better than him died. My teeth slip slightly, grazing his flesh but he doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he thrusts gently in to my mouth. He loses more of his precious control and I feel empowered by that. I could leave him hanging or give him the pleasure he craves. When he finally comes I swallow like a good whore and pull away. But instead of letting me go he pulls me in to his lap and kisses me. Not on the mouth of course - everywhere but there. The rest of the night I don’t get any sleep and so only get out of bed by noon the next day. After breakfast Snape demands that I show what I know about medical potions. I am almost pathetically grateful for the opportunity. In the end I stay for another night but by the time we fall in to bed even Snape doesn’t feel like sex but falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
I get back home exhausted and head straight for the shower. There are bruises on my hips and shoulders and yet I’m not in pain. The thing that hurts is that I can’t do the one thing I love. I was supposed to be a medi-witch. The day I’ve spend in Snape’s lab has reminded me of this unreachable goal.
Harry is waiting for me in my room. He doesn’t ask when he notices the bruises and I don’t want to tell. We simply fall asleep next to each other. In the morning I tell him and Remus everything I have discovered. They can stop a few attacks and maybe rescue some people. I don’t tell them that I spent yesterday brewing potions with Snape.