A Last Request

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything else that isn’t mine.

* Authors Note * - Thanks for all the reviews it’s nice that you guys are still interested and I didn’t get much criticism so that’s good right? I hope you still like it though lol. Same as always let me know. Please review! Oh and I do hope that I didn’t offend anyone with the part in the last chapter about the “Love Child” but I have no problems with it since I am one lol. It’s just what I think how the Wizarding World would react to it they seem a bit old fashioned with a lot of things especially with the “high society” looking for any reason to look down on someone. So the views of the characters aren’t necessarily mine. For those who want me to email them when/ if I update make sure I have your email address so I can, it’s my honor to do so. Thanks so much!! And again thank you to my beta.

To Muggleman: you might just like the story! * winks * and to Mei Kim: I might take you up on that if my beta starts to feel over whelmed, two can never hurt! Thanks and I’ll let you know if I do!


Chapter Three

Strength

After most had gone to bed Harry and I sat alone in the kitchen. Ginny was off trying her best to talk to Ron. Thank goodness no one had noticed that something had happened.

We sat there for a while in silence. It wasn’t like the other silences we’d had over the years. This one was uncomfortable. Harry had brought me in here because he wanted to talk about the situation. I was happy at least that he was still speaking to me.

He stared at his cup of tea that had long been cooled, stirring it around by the base of the cup. I could see the reflection of the light that reflected into the tea itself in his glasses. I looked to the table looking at the knots in the dark wood. I traced over one as I waited for him to say something, to start asking me questions for anything really. He took a deep breath and I looked back to him. He was looking back at me. Finally he spoke.

“Hermione, I love you. You know that. You’re as close to a sister that I could possibly have. You are my best friend. I do not hate you. You know that right?” I shrugged. “Well I don’t. But I am not going to pretend nothing has happened. I am not thrilled about this. Though I think I should tell you this first. I will love your child no matter who the father is. I will treat them no differently than I would if it were anyone else who fathered them. Alright?” I smiled a small gentle smile toward him. I was also relieved to have heard that. It was something I was a little worried about. I don’t know why. I knew better than to assume they wouldn’t accept the baby. They just most likely wouldn’t accept the fact that I had been intimate Draco Malfoy.

“Thanks Harry” I said softly. He smiled briefly.

“What I don’t understand is why. Why did you shag him? Why did you say yes to have his child?” He asked. I wondered how many more times I was going to be asked those questions. The possibility seemed endless. I thought about how I was going to answer him.

“To be honest things that night felt different between us. He was different than I had ever seen him. He was almost broken. He’d given up on life. It’s really hard to explain Harry. I’m not even sure if I understand myself. With the baby, I was so into the moment I am not sure if I even realized I had said yes, to have a baby of course. He wasn’t using me the way Ron said he was either.”

“You know I was there that night. I saw what he did. I replay the whole thing in my mind so often my brain feels like it will implode. He wouldn’t have killed Dumbledore… he wouldn’t have… he even lowered his wand. I honestly believe he was going to take him up on his offer, to protect him and his family…but in spite of all the nasty things he has done, I can’t really say that he is this evil horrible person. His hobbies, obsessions, and his lack of kindness make enough for him to be unpleasant. But honestly the way I feel about him now, for the past so many months, is different than I felt before. I do believe that he didn’t use you or your body. I saw how he was, the fear in his voice and in his eyes. I wondered what had happened to him. After Voldemort found out that it was Snape who had done it for him. Snape… did he mention anything about him?” Harry leaned forward in his chair looking at me intently.

“No he hadn’t Harry, Sorry.” I said sadly. For some reason I had felt foolish for not pressing for more information on the happenings in his life since the night they took off. Harry nodded his head. “From what it seemed he had been on his own for a bit. I could be mistaken but it sort of appeared that he was a perhaps on the run. But I can’t be certain.”

“I wonder if he is still alive, if he is and if he tries to contact you, and if he is alive he will, after all you could be with his child. But if he contacts you try to coerces him to get help from us. He could hold information that we could use.”

“But Harry could you trust him?”

“Do you?” Harry asked.

Did I? Did I trust the man I gave myself to? Did I trust the father of my unborn child? If you had asked me even three months ago I would have flatly said no. Not just because he was Draco Malfoy, the one that unleashed death eaters in the school and the one who had tried to kill Dumbledore twice before that fateful night with a necklace that hurt Katie Bell something terrible and the mead that nearly killed Ron. It’s not like he felt he had much choice, he wasn’t a murderer. I would have said no because of the horrible things he had said to us the strange obsessions with dark magic, and his knack to be down right atrocious. He would regard me as ‘mudblood’ Granger as if I weren’t a real person. At least that is the way he used to make me feel. However that night he came for me changed all of that. The things he said to me, they way he made me feel, and something that I couldn’t quite understand yet. But did all of that make me trust him. I was at least willing to try.

“That’s a difficult question Harry. I would at least give him a chance. That is if he’s even still… well I would have heard something by now, right?” Harry shrugged.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Harry returned his attention to his tea. Fingering a small bit of liquid that had spilled over the side and onto the saucer. “About what I had said earlier, about it all I was just … surprised. That’s all. It’s still hard for me to grasp. With the way he had felt towards you and they way you towards him. True the animosity between him and us was not as strong with you and him as it was with Ron and I with him.

“That’s because at that time, at least then, I thought that he didn’t waste his precious anything on a mudblood know it all, not even his insults on most occasions. If you remember he mostly only insulted you and Ron, not so much me. Although he had at one point wished death upon me.”

“Yes, second year. Although he did save you in a way, too.” I raised my brow at this. “At the Quidditch World Cup, when the camp was attacked. He warned us about the death eaters if you remember, telling you to… well stay out of sight.” ‘That’s right’ I had thought. He did. It only matched more with what he said to me. About how he only said that he hoped that I was next because I insulted him, even if it were true. I then remembered certain moments here and there where he would stand oddly close to me. The memories from what he had said that night came back to me, I felt my face slightly blush. Harry chuckled a little at this.

“What?” I asked with a small bashful smile. He just shook his head still smiling. It was refreshing for me to see him do that, on so many levels. Things had been crazy as of late. He still had to find the last Horcrux, except the one that resided in Voldemort himself of course. Harry felt pressured; he felt he needed to hurry because he felt as if time was running out. I was sending him any information that I could get my hands on to help him. I was after all right about the first one. Harry interrupted my thoughts by speaking.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant. It’s so strange. We still seem so young, but then not. So… what was it like, you know?” He asked curiously. I couldn’t help but laugh. He laughed too. We were young. “Ron would flip if he heard me ask you about your activities with Malfoy. Oh, sorry.” Harry apologized for bringing up Ron.

“It’s fine I just hope he doesn’t hate me forever. I never meant to hurt him. I understand things between us have been unknown for so long about what we were and where our relationship has been heading. I honestly started to give up on the childish dream of him sweeping me off my feet like a knight in shining armor, well something like that anyway.”

“How do you feel about Ron at this point in time?”

“I don’t know Harry. I am not sure what my feelings on him or Dra…Malfoy…whatever, are at this point. I just don’t know.” Harry reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. I smiled at him.

“Well we are here for you. Ron will be too, he just has to work some things out right now. Mostly on kicking himself for letting you get away.”

“Who says he let me get away? Harry I am not taken. Draco…y- yes Draco may not even be alive. And it’s not like we are in love or anything so… perhaps someday if Ron would except this, we can still be something.”

“Is that what you really want? Look Hermione you may think that you and Malfoy weren’t anything, but maybe that’s not true. He’s not here and he may not be alive so we may never truly understand what it was that he felt for you but one thing is for certain he didn’t just ask anyone to be the mother of his child, to raise them with his name and given his fortune to. So that is something you should ask yourself, would it be fair to yourself and to Ron if you weren’t full-hearted into the commitment you’d share? To be in love with someone else and never truly moving on? Maybe eventually you’d be able to move on and I don’t see anyone else you’d do it with. But you have to work out your heart first.”

“Like you did. Sorry Harry, but what about you and Ginny? Do you expect her to do that? For you to do that? You both obviously still are very much in love. I understand and respect your decision to keep your distance with her romantically, but what a waste.” Ginny then came into the room. He hadn’t the chance to talk back but the look in his eyes at the part where I had mentioned Ginny possibly moving on, flashed dangerously. Not like he’d hurt or yell at me but the thought of someone else with his Ginny angered him. ‘Good’ I thought. Get him thinking.

“So how’s it going in here?” Ginny asked walking over to the counter.

“Much better. You?” Harry replied trying to keep his composure and giving her a slight smile.

“Well I am not sure, but I suppose things could be worst.” Ginny said with a shrug. “He asked me to get some pie for him. Oh and look at that, last slice.” She grabbed the pie leaving it in the pie plate and grabbed a fork. She set it on the table and sat down. She took a big bite. “Mmmmm.”

“Didn’t you say that Ron asked you to get that?” I asked confused. She looked up and smiled, mouth full of pie.

“Yup, told him to shove off too. If he wanted it he could get it himself, the jerk.” Ginny said right before taking another bite and repeated, “Mmmmm, I love pie. Especially mums blackberry pie.” Harry and I laughed. I felt bad for Ron he really did have reason to be upset. I supposed that I’d try to talk to him in the morning.

“I feel so terrible. It’s my fault. I didn’t mean to hurt him.” I said sadly.

“I know you didn’t. It’s not like he hasn’t done his share of hurting you… Lavender Brown anyone? Besides I try to help him and the thanks I get. Grouch! I told him I was just trying to help so he told me that I could help by making myself useful and get him some pie. I told him to get it himself. He refused to come down here. So here I am enjoying this lovely piece of pie.” Ginny said taking another big bite. Perhaps I’d try talking to him tomorrow afternoon.

“Soo, Hermione, Draco Malfoy huh?” Ginny asked. “How was it?” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“You two are such pervs.” I said. Ginny looked at Harry and started to laugh. “I’m going to bed. I’ll see you two in the morning.” I said lightheartedly as I got up and left the kitchen.

I was going to head up to bed, but I decided to go back though the library to get to the sun parlor. I wasn’t very tiered so I decided to just sit alone and relax. I didn’t even turn any lights on, just sat on the floor against the wall. I closed my eyes and reflected on the evening. Ron reacted much like I suspected him to. Ginny, being Ginny was very good about it. Harry was surprisingly supportive. Just concerned and bewildered. He defiantly wasn’t expecting anything like that. I couldn’t imagine if it were one of them sleeping and having a child with the enemy. I was thankful that things weren’t worst, because they could have been.

I think that I started to doze because I jolted awake when I heard someone close the library door and the lights turn on. I was about to stand up and turn the corner when I heard their voices. I stayed rooted.

“Did you want to talk to me about Hermione? Is that why you brought me in here, to talk in private away from Fred and George?” Ginny asked.

“Um no, that’s not why,” Said Harry. “Have a seat.” I could hear them walking closer to me and sit on the sofa right on the other side of the wall.

“What is it Harry?” Ginny asked concerned.

“Well I know… I… I said that I didn’t think we should be together anymore.”

“Yes?”

“But I think… Ginny I was so stupid. It was so hard that day when I broke it off with you. It took so much for me not to say that I was just upset and beg for you take me back. It pained me to sit with you. I had to leave. I just didn’t want you to be yet another person who sacrificed themselves for me… to save me. I couldn’t bare it, not with you. I couldn’t let you do that.” Harry explained.

“But Ron and Hermione, you let them be with you. Let them fight by your side.” Ginny stressed.

“Yes, but it’s different.”

“How’s that Harry?”

“Because I’m not in love with them. It’s not them I think about when I wake up in the morning or when I go to sleep at night. It’s not them I dream about having a family and a loving future with. Well they’d be there of course… you understand what I mean. I’ve never been good at this sort of thing… Ginny I love you. It’s been incredibly hard not having you be there, being my comfort. I thought if I had let you go then you’d be safe. I’m torn. I want you to be mine and only mine. But I also don’t want anything to happen to you because of me. You do understand?” I heard Harry confess. I felt bad in a way for listening in on their private conversation, but I was just a bit too nosey to get myself out of there. Besides, what if I made myself known somehow. I didn’t want to be responsible for interrupting a very important private moment. Yes I had told myself that’s it, so I’d just sit there and wait for them to leave, no big deal.

“You love me?’

“Yes Ginny very much. I feel like I always have, it’s just I don’t think I was aware of it before last year.”

“Did you know when we were together?”

“Yes before that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“If I told you that would you have taken me seriously when I let you go?”

“No because I love you too. Always have. I think from the first time I ever saw you, even before I knew who you were.” I could hear them shift. It was driving me mad! I couldn’t see them. I swear those three have been a terrible influence on me. I got to my knees and tried to pear around the corner.

I could see them, they were just looking at each other. Then they kissed. It took every ounce oh me not to awe. I just smiled like I did when they first had kissed. I remembered that. It was so incredibly sweet.

I then heard them say I love you to the other. She then shifted and what seemed to me straddled his lap. Their kissing had become much more than a soft romantic kiss. I turned and sat back down. I soon started to hear them starting to moan as they sucked each other’s face. I couldn’t help myself. I peaked around the corner again right before Harry swung Ginny to the left changing the position leaving him on top on her lying down. This was kind of getting uncomfortable. As I waited for their make-out session to end I sat my head against the wall closing my eyes. I was actually starting to become nauseated. At the time I thought it had to do with the fact that Ginny and Harry were just on the other side of the wall. It was wither that or because I was spying on them. And I had called them pervs!

I waited for a few minutes then I heard stuff falling to the floor. Again I looked around the corner. I couldn’t see them but on the floor from under the sofa I could see their clothes pile and it was getting larger. I panicked. No… they weren’t. They were! I then started to her Ginny gasp in what seemed like pain. And Harry amazingly was making comments close to what Draco had said. “Great.” I thought. I didn’t need that thought in my head when two out of three of best friends were shagging right behind me. Gross! But why didn’t I just leave?

Soon I could hear them panting and saying things I couldn’t believe I was listening to. But yet there I was listening not going anywhere. I wondered if they had put a silencing spell on the rooms. The only reason I could hear them was because the room I was in was joined with the library, no door or barrier to separate.

After what had seemed like hours of their… activities they seemed to have fallen asleep. I slowly crawled towards them hearing the faint sounds of their sleeping. I noticed that their clothes where no longer on the ground, so I assumed that they had gotten dressed. I cautiously glanced over the side of the couch and saw them spooning together asleep. I got up slowly and made my way out of the room quietly.

I took one last look their way and smiled. I was happy for them. I shut the door and went up to my room. I passed Ron’s room and I stopped in front of it for a moment, and then pressed onward to my room.

The next morning I was feeling awful. My head hurt and I felt as if I’d throw up at any moment. My door opened and Ginny peaked in.

“Hermione breakfast is ready.” I couldn’t have bolted faster out of my bed if someone had lit a fire under my bum. I pushed past her. “You must be staving.” Only I didn’t head for the stairs, I was heading to the nearest bathroom. “Or not.” Ginny said as she walked toward the bathroom door that I had just slammed shut.

I was hunched over the tub when Ginny came in as the sound of a freshly toilet flush filled the room.

“Hermione are you feeling alright? Well of course you’re not. What’s wrong? Alright that was stupid you’re obviously sick.” Ginny said.

“Must be morning sickness. Although the name isn’t correct actually. Nausea can last all day…” I stopped when Ginny was giving me one of those looks that people always give me when I jabber on about things they don’t want to know every detail about. I don’t understand how someone doesn’t want to know everything they can. When I found out that I could be pregnant I read about everything I could about pregnancy. “It’s just morning sickness.”

“I thought you get that right at the beginning. You’re over two months along.”

“Actually women can get morning sickness anytime during their pregnancy. Some women have it the whole time and others don’t get it at all. I was hoping I was one that didn’t.”

“I see.” Said Ginny right when George and Fred walked in.

“I see what… whoa Hermione what’s wrong with you?” Fred asked followed by George.

“It wasn’t dinner from last night was it?”

“No” I said.

“She’s just not feeling well that’s all, don’t you guys have anything else to do then watch Hermione be sick.”

“Nope…”

“Not really.” Fred and George said.

“Oh Ginny it’s alright, they’ll find out anyway… I’m pregnant, and not by Ron.” I said before they guessed who the father was. They looked a bit shocked. I then told them everything even what had happened the night before, well leaving out the part with Ginny and Harry of course. They didn’t get mad at all, they only fell to the floor rolling with laughter. Well it was better than what Ron was doing, I supposed.

They composed themselves and apologized. Then asked if they could do anything.

“Yes actually grab the home remedy spell book off of my shelf and bring it here if you would.” I said and they took off and brought it back.

“Can you two go downstairs to take an inventory on the ingredients we have while I look for the right potion for Hermione. Do not let anyone on to what you are doing.” Ginny said. They saluted her as they apparated.

“Thanks Gin.” I said, as I still remained hunched over the side of the tub. I felt absolutely horrible. She smiled at me.

“Anytime. Ah here we are. I found three pregnancy safe nausea potions. This one is good and only takes an hour, perfect.” Ginny said. “We just need to wait for them to come back with the list.” I wasn’t sure why she had sent them down there first and not had waited until she found the potion. It just seemed easier that way, but I was just going to let her do it her way. I didn’t feel like telling her.

“An hour doesn’t seem too bad. A bit long but it’s fine. Thanks.”

“You’d do it for me.” It was true I would have. “Hermione I have something to tell you. It’s about Harry and me.” “Harry and I,” I mentally told her, not saying it out loud. I didn’t want to ruin her moment.

“Are you two back together?” I asked proud of myself for acting like I didn’t know what happened, but I had to guess it wouldn’t be like me if I didn’t. Not that that matters anymore.

“Yes, but something else happened too. Hermione, Harry and I shagged last night. It was incredible.” She beamed. I smiled at her. Maybe that’s why she had them go write down every ingredient, they’d be gone longer,

“Oh Ginny I’m so happy for you! I’d give you a hug but I am afraid to move.” We laughed. Well she did while I made an effort.

“Did your first time hurt too?” She asked.

“Well a little, yes but more uncomfortable than anything. After that it was soooo much nicer.”

“After that? How many times did you two do it?” Ginny asked saucily smiling.

“How many did you?” I countered. She laughed.

“Until we became too tired to do it anymore.”

“Yeah, pretty much.” I winked. We heard Fred and George walk towards the room.

“Why didn’t you just pop back?” Ginny asked.

“Mum scolded us about apparating everywhere…”

“Called us lazy. But she had no idea what we were up to though.” The twins said.

“Good, thanks.” Ginny said as she took the list and looked at the book. “Hmmm, this was all of it?” She asked George. They both nodded. “Hmmm. Well Hermione we only have enough ingredients here to do one potion. The only thing is it takes twenty-four hours to simmer”. I just slugged back over the edge moaning irritated. “Great.” I thought just as I vomited up once again.

“Eeewww, Hermione...”

“That’s gross…”

“Do you think we could record the sound…”

“Oh yes it’s for a new product we are working on.” I looked at them from over my shoulder. And saw Ginny shake her head at them.

“Yeah sure whatever.” I replied. Ginny’s brows shot up amusingly. The twins got incredibly excited.

“Oh Hermione you’re the best!” They both said.

Hours past and Ginny stayed with me the whole day. Harry and the twins would come in and out. (Get your mind out of the rubbish bin!) It was sweet how Harry and Ginny would give each other looks and touch each other. Ron never stopped by. I was kind of shocked. I thought he’d at least come to see if I were alright, but then I remembered he didn’t do well with throw up. Perhaps I’d talk to him when the potion was done and I had taken it. And I couldn’t wait to take it I felt worst through out the day. Others had found out that I was ‘ill’ and Mrs. Weasley tried to take over for Ginny, but Ginny was having none of it. Mrs. Weasley let Ginny have her way knowing her daughter wanted to be a medi-witch. Thank goodness no one other than Fred and George found out the real reason.

At half past nine in the evening Ginny put in the last ingredient, peppermint oil.

“There. All the ingredients are in and now we only have to wait twelve more hours.” Ginny said as she pulled my fallen hair back behind my head and soothingly played with it.

“Only.” I groaned quietly. I must have looked ghastly. Here I was flopped over a tub exhausted from being sick all day. My eyes we closed and my mouth open, lying on the left side of my face. The rest of me was in a heap on the floor, the part that wasn’t lying against and over the tub. And to top it off I had been told I was incredibly pale.

“Thanks Gin, for everything.” She hugged me, not too tightly, and kept running her fingers through my hair giving me comfort. She was so wonderful.

I must have fallen asleep for when I woke up I was in my bed. My door creaked open and Ginny came in caring a glass full of a purplish liquid.

“It’s finished. Drink up. It says you’ll feel the effects within seconds.” She said as she sat down on my bed handing me the glass. “It also says that it lasts for three days at a time. There is a good amount left so Fred and George are bottling it up for you. Should last I’d say two months.” I drank it slowly not wanting to spill it. It’s tasted wonderful, and you could smell and taste the peppermint in it. Within seconds I felt better.

I went down stairs after I had gotten dressed and readied myself to be seen by others I then went straight for the kitchen. I was starving. I loaded up my plate in a Ron like fashion and dug in. I only stopped when my stomach protested that I put anything else in.

I left the kitchen leaving several people laughing and confused by my eating. I never ate like that, but then again I hadn’t eaten much since Thursday really and it was now Sunday.

I walked into the library and saw Ron sitting in the chair he was in when I had told them the news. He must have heard me enter because he turned around. I then noticed Ginny, Harry, and the twins in the corner playing wizards chess. He stood up.

“Ron.” I said softly.

“Hermione. How are you doing?” He asked, taking me off guard. I wasn’t expecting him to be nice or be concerned for me at the time.

“Better, thanks to them.” I said nodding to the others in the corner, who were now watching us.

“I would have come by the bathroom but I don’t do good with sick, sorry.” He said scratching the back of his head. He didn’t look me in the face. Just looked at our feet. Then looked up. “So I got this really neat thing from…”

“Ron?” I cut him off. He looked away from me again. “Aren’t we going to talk about this? Or are you just going to pretend nothing happened. I really feel we need to get passed this, so we can move on. So it will not always linger in the background waiting to make an appearance at the most inappropriate time.”

“Hermione I just don’t want to talk about it right now.” Ron said distantly.

“Why not? Why not now? If not now when, Ron? Who knows when we will be able to see each other! I don’t want it to sit there and simmer until our next… thing Ron!”

“I don’t think right now is good.”

“What because they’re here?” I said motioning over to the group in the corner, who were watching us intently, they didn’t look away at the comment either. “Who cares they might as well see and hear everything that way we don’t have to tell them later!”

“Not them, Hermione. The baby. I don’t want you getting upset and upset the baby, like you are right now. It’s not good for them.” Now it was my turn to look to the floor. He had nice shoes. I could have probably used some new ones, perhaps I’d get some before I went back to school later that day.

“Look, if we don’t resolve or try to resolve this now it will only upset me more.” I said softer calming myself. “Thanks for being concerned for my child.”

“I will always be concerned for you and now you’re going to have a baby that we will all love and be concerned for.” I couldn’t help but smile while a tear slipped down my check. I was really touched. He brought his thumb to my face and wiped the tear away. “I am not going to lie, Hermione. I am not happy with this. And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t very hurt by all of it, cause I am. I know it took me forever to do something. I was scared. I didn’t want to do something wrong and mess everything up, like I always seemed to do. I guess I just waited too long. I let you get by and I messed up anyway…”

“No, Ron. Don’t say that. We can still…”

“Hermione, I love you. But I don’t think your heart is in that place for me.”

“No I do love you!”

“I believe that you do, but are you in love with me?” I was about to say yes, but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t come out so my mouth took on the appearance of a fish in water. “See. You want to say it but you know deep down that you aren’t, so you can’t. I would be more than happy to make you mine and raise this child to be my own, but I love you too much to let you be with someone you aren’t completely in love with. Which poses another question. Do you think he’s gone?” I shrugged.

“But why does that matter? I think that if you and I could just…” He cut me off again.

“You know I think it does. How long has this been going on?” I looked at him strangely; although it wasn’t the first time I’d been asked the question.

“Ron what are you on about?” I said exasperated.

“You and Malfoy. You two have the strangest relationship. And don’t say that’s a bunch of rubbish either Hermione. You always defended him, in fact you had me doing it a little last year when Harry said that he was up to no good, remember? There are a bunch of times when you showed concern for him. I’m sure you have convinced yourself that it was just out of compassion for another being. I believe it to be more than that. And the way he was with you. How close he’d stand next to you, which was odd because of the way he viewed your ‘blood’ he certainly voiced it, the way he made you cry was enough to make me… anyway, look I think there’s more there than you realize. The way he warned you right before fourth year I thought it was odd for someone who ‘wanted you dead’ to do. Why would he do that if he didn’t care? Come to think of it during the ball that year he eyed Krum nastily. I thought perhaps it was because he thought him as a traitor, maybe he did, but now I’m not so sure. There are a bunch of other things but I am sure you get the point. But what made you do it? What made you sleep with him? Be honest that’s all I want.” I hesitated.

“There was this… connection, I guess. Ron look it’s hard to explain, I’d honestly like to forget it.”

“Because the thought of him being gone hurts, doesn’t it?” That hit me harder than I let on. It was true I guessed.

“Ron. Malfoy and I… even if… look I, we didn’t get along in school… he’s probably dead, so what does any of this matter!” I said loudly. I was so taken off guard at what happened next.

Ron’s lips were soft and full of passion. I don’t know how long it lasted, but when he pulled away I couldn’t breath. He stayed close while he placed his hands on either side of my face, with his fingers in my hair. His hooded eyes were soft and blue and sparkled with love. To be honest the kiss was great, his tongue had moved gently with mine and it would have been the perfect kiss, but something was missing and he knew that. He smiled and his face pulled more away leaving his hands where they were. I closed my eyes.

“I don’t think he’s gone.” I looked back to his eyes.

“What? Did… did you hear something?” I said perhaps a little to eagerly. He smiled again, knowingly.

“No I haven’t. I don’t think he’s gone though. Not from this world and not from your heart even if you can’t or won’t admit it to yourself. I want you to me happy even though I hate the fact that it’s Malfoy. If he is gone Hermione, and you have had time to move on and you feel the same way I feel about you, then perhaps there could be more. We are great friends and that means more to me than anything. I refuse to let that go.” The tears flowed heavy and thickly down my face and I nodded. He pulled me to him and hugged me. Telling me everything would be all right and that he and everyone will be there for me. I wasn’t sure if I believed all of that, not about what he said about himself but that stuff about how I felt. I defiantly had to sort things out within myself.

The rest of the day went by nicely and we all ended up talking about this, that and adventures they had endured since the last time we were able to sit down and talk. The twins had to leave early because they had been closed all weekend to be there so they had to get the shop and orders ready for the next morning.

Ginny and I were the next to leave. I wanted to get some things before we headed back together. They gave us a hug and when everyone was distracted Harry and Ron promised me they would say nothing and check up on me often. It was moments like that that made me feel bad for not being by their sides and I felt slightly left out. But it was my choice to stay with the school, my post. It was almost laughable.

When I got back to my common room it was almost sunset. Dobby had magically put my travel bag in my room for me. Which was to my gratitude. I really shouldn’t be carrying anything really heavy. I brought more back since I had stopped to shop with Ginny.

Calvin was sitting in a chair reading. He looked up at me and smiled.

“So how was it?” He asked.

“Eventful, but much better than I anticipated though. However only Ron, Ginny, Harry, Fred and George know. So well see. I’m a bit tired so I’m going to take a little nap before rounds.” I said heading to my chambers.

“You know what? Why don’t you just make it an early night, I’ll cover for you.” Calvin suggested.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s no problem at all. You’ve done it for me. Besides you’ve probably had a long weekend. You need your rest.” He smiled.

“Thanks Calvin.” I said smiling back at him.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I said back and headed into my room.

I started to put my things away as an owl flew into my window. I was very startled by it because the post came in the mornings or at lunch, hardly ever in the evenings delivered to your room. I went over to it slowly as it perched on my desk. I undid the tie that held the scroll to its leg.

After I held the roll of parchment in my hand I opened my top drawer and pulled out some owl treats that I gave to the owls that delivered to me. I feed it and it took off out the window while I unrolled the parchment and read it.

My eyes widened and I walked quickly to the window and watched the owl fly off into the distance, getting lost in the sun setting horizon. My expectant look turned into a smile as the warm evening breeze danced with my hair. I looked back down at the note that read:

You gave me the strength.

He’s alive…