How To Disappear Completely

How To Disappear Completely by KerryMuggle

Feedback: It would be greatly appreciated.

Authors Note: This is probably the most difficult chapter for me to write so far because it deals with rape and torture. I’m drawing from a personal situation in some instances and HIGHLY stress that this may not be suitable for all readers. I’m sorry if it offends some, and if you consider yourself sensitive, please skip this chapter.

“Waves Become Wings” by This Mortal Coil from the album “It’ll End In Tears.”


Chapter 3: Waves Become Wings


“mystery lights keep the dark inside”


She had lost count after four. It was unbearable to look at their masks, trying to imagine what they looked like underneath them. Would she recognize some? Their grunts of pleasure during her pain were torture enough. Some were quick to get it over with while others took their time. The first ones never spoke to her.

The one who took her virginity did it in less than five minutes. Something that she wanted to give away one day was taken just like that. She forced herself to remain in a resolve of stoicism - she was not going to cry or beg for their pleasure. When he did break her barrier, she did wince a bit, but looked away, hoping to somehow block that memory from remaining there for the rest of her life. She felt the blood slowly glide down her legs and just stared at whatever blank space would allow her to. It was obvious he wasn’t the stereotypical raid loving Death Eater. She felt he slapped her around a few times just for the sake of living up to the reputation. He didn’t even make an attempt to rip off her dress, just push it up.

As soon as the first one was done, he walked out of the room. No words. No real violence. It was just a fuck and run. She was almost thankful in that it could have been worse, considering the reputations the Death Eaters earned in terms of raiding. As tears slowly began to slide down her face she tried to focus on the memories that mattered, but couldn’t really pull at any. She fell into a soft slumber until the next one walked into the room. It could have been hours. It could have been days. She didn’t remember - the only reminder of her time there was the grumbling of her empty stomach.

The second, or it could have been the third, had a particular fascination with cigarettes and burned her every opportunity he got. She remembered feeling the cigarettes burn holes into the skin just above her inner wrist. When he found that particular location tiring, he then moved to her feet - one mark above each toe on her left foot.

All the while he was talking about how the burns were nothing compared to the Dark Mark. He showed off his mark and contemplated moving to brand her with something a little larger, but decided that he would save it for another night. To Hermione’s joy, he never did come back.

Hermione felt almost as if she were a schedule in which each one signed up for their personal glory of violating her. The first ones did what they had to do and went off with their business. They were considered warm ups compared to what was to come. Sure, cigarettes will scar, but it was the violations that came later which made Hermione personally want to spit on their graves.

One in particular released her legs in order to get what he termed, “better access” to her. As soon as the opportunity struck, she kicked him in the chest and almost got his nether regions on a second try. Hermione immediately thought of Indra’s philosophy on what people will do in order to survive. The Death Eater punched her and she felt her cheek bruising instantly.

“CRUCIO” the Death Eater cast as Hermione screamed in utter agony. Her plan of not giving them that pleasure backfired before she even realized it. Harry’s words in describing it didn’t do any justice to the pain she felt. It was like being burned alive and having every living inch of your flesh pulled off of your bones. He left her like that for a few seconds. She could swear that she felt the skin tearing to release her blood on what was once a clean white linen dress - it was now dyed red.

“Stupid mudblood BITCH” he said as he approached and slapped her. She heard him mutter a few words under his breath and felt something shift within her.

“You know you’re going to die here! Not everyone’s had the pleasure of your sweets. Count your blessings” he continued as he spread her legs apart and entered her. It was more painful this time than ever as he pushed harder and harder and his grunts made the bile rise into her throat. She winced at the pain. He pulled out a few moments later after achieving his release and Hermione felt more blood flowing down her legs. She was shivering from the cold and felt him enter into her again and this time he bent his head toward her face and crushed his lips against hers. When she didn’t submit, he pulled away immediately and punched her.

“YOU WILL NOT DENY ME MUDBLOOD!” he said as he swooped in front of her again, pressing his lips onto hers and forcing them to open. After a few seconds of that assault, he bit into her lip, still fresh from the encounter she had with the ones who invaded her house and felt it bleeding yet again. She screamed into his mouth as he stuck his fingers into her and began assaulting her with both his penis and fingers.

“Yes.......”he whispered “we’re gonna ruin you, just like you should be ruined.”

When she tried to turn her head away so as not to feel his breath, he grabbed her face and forced her to look at him.

“OPEN YOUR EYES!” He slapped her when she didn’t do it immediately. “I SAID OPEN YOUR EYES! I want you to see the only thing that mudbloods like yourself are good for” as he continued to pound into her.

Hermione looked at him, her vision hazy from the tears, with all of the hatred she could muster. She saw his face as he came and dropped his seed into her. If he wouldn’t have moved off of her so soon, she would have vomited on him.

As he was cleaning himself off, he looked at her and cast one final crucio, “for memories sake” according to him.

He returned a few hours later and this time he began by taking his rage out on her body with beatings. Hermione knew from the pain that a few ribs were broken and the pain in her jaw was a constant reminder that something may be fractured there. It hurt to blink, and she felt the swelling of black and blue around her left eye.

As he entered her, yet again, he got more aggressive and pulled out a knife. He once again demanded that she look him in the eye as he raped her. She didn’t have any more tears to shed. She didn’t have any single thought or emotion. She was numb. She just wanted it all to end in some instances, while others left her with the small hope that Dumbledore was coming. Yes, they would soon be here to make all the dark go away. It was the only thing that kept her alive. Her lack of response to the Death Eater sparked his rage and he put the knife to her exposed throat and slowly began to run the blade along it as it began to seep with her blood. Through her screams, he responded,

“That’s it.........there’s my screaming mudblood. Alls I have to do is just go a little more deeper...”which he did in the spot where the blade rested, “and you will really be in trouble.” As soon as she felt the blood sliding down to her collarbone, the Death Eater said an incantation and the wound was beginning to close up. Still, the blood released continued to glide. Hermione was catching every breath she could in those moments. He cast a final crucio before walking out of the room.

As soon as the door shut closed, Hermione cried tears she thought she no longer possessed within her. She would have screamed, but her throat was dry and she didn’t have the energy to do so. Besides, there was still some pain from the Death Eater’s cut on her throat. How vulnerable and weak she felt. The pain brought doubts as to what house she really belonged in.


A few hours later, Hermione heard the door open and turned her head slowly to see all of the Death Eaters entering the room, with Indra being the last one. She walked up to Hermione and smiled at her in nonchalance. She placed the tips of her fingers on Hermione’s bloodied face and closed her eyes.

“She’s lost the will to live” Indra whispered. “Oh honey, don’t give up on us yet. Your mother wouldn’t want you to do that.” she said as she ran her finger along the chain of Hermione’s necklace. She reached under the filth ridden dress and pulled out the necklace. Once again, she closed her eyes and began reciting the conversation that Hermione had with her mother when she first gave her the necklace.

“She’s right. Diamonds are a bit overrated.” Indra whispered as she suddenly opened her eyes.

It was then that she noticed the blade marking on Hermione’s neck. She smiled a bit at the sight. “Aaahhhhh. Mr. Derevko had a round with you, didn’t he? It’ll leave a scar I’m afraid. Hell, it’ll end in tears.”

All of a sudden, her personality switched back to the invisible mask of cruelty that was Indra.

“Well now, that little mommy moment is over” Indra said as she backed away from Hermione. “I made a nice little ‘to do’ list regarding our special house guest. First. Kill Miss Granger’s parents. Check! Second. Take Miss Granger’s virginity. Check - and I must say, Mr. Yorke quiet enjoyed that experience” Indra said as she began to laugh and acknowledge Yorke in the back of the room. Three. Originally it was going to be for us to take away your will to live. However, I think it’s a bit too soon for that, wouldn’t you say? Then it dawned on me.........you’ve been giving my colleagues some pleasurable experiences and we wouldn’t want you to get........what is it you mudbloods call it.......” she continued waving her hands hoping that it would stimulate her memory “KNOCKED UP! Therefore, we’re going to have the direct pleasure of taking away your ability to have children. I figure, you probably won’t survive anyway, but this will give us a little more time to have some fun with you.
It’s unlike Dumbledore and his pathetic group of followers to be late. For starters, it’s rude. You’d think he’d know good manners. I’m sure he’s gotten that damn present by now.” she said to no one in particular.

Hermione let the words sink in and moved with all of the strength that she could muster in her body, trying to somehow pull her arms from their shackles. Her screams were primitive in nature and only seemed to excite the Death Eaters observing her. As much as she hated to, she was left only to plead.

“Please. Please don’t do this. Just kill me, get it over with. Please, no more!”

Indra approached her with a softness on her face that could fool anyone. “Oh, baby..” she whispered as she lightly touched Hermione’s leg. “Oooopps! No pun intended! We cannot go out of order on the to do list now can we?” Then the cruel face returned.
She touched the dried blood between Hermione’s legs and closed her eyes. There were a few moments of silence before she was taken out of her trance. She slowly opened her eyes and stared straight ahead at the wall.

“Now now. Good job Mr. Derevko” she said as she turned to look at the Death Eater in question. “Congratulations on your ministrations. I always knew that you liked it rough, but that was a bit too much, wouldn’t you say?” She then turned back to look at Hermione.

“If there was one thing Voldemort always stressed with his followers it was that you must know your enemy better than your allies. So, with our adventures in America, we did a bit of studying on muggle history. It was really fascinating - all of the weird contraptions you mudbloods would come up with. But, this one held my fascination” Indra said as she pulled out a wire hanger. Hermione looked at it with a question in her mind.

“Originally, when we were in New Orleans, I was very keen on picking up a voodoo doll. There is something very hypnotic and satisfying about sticking a pin in a doll and transferring that intent and power unto someone else. However, as powerful as the doll may be, it is a bit too clean for my tastes. Besides, I’m in the mood for a little something sinister!” she stated.
“Weird isn’t it?”Indra asked Hermione. “Apparently, you hang your clothes on these things, but being the studious girl that I am, I did a bit of digging in history and found out interesting information on what you muggles call ‘back alley abortions.’ If you change the shape of the hanger, like this,” Indra did with the snap of her finger “it becomes a tool.”

Hermione shuddered in fear when she saw the new shape.

“We wouldn’t want to risk the chance of you becoming pregnant. Hell, you could be, so this is really for your own good - we don’t want to take any chances now do we?” Indra said as Hermione began to scream. Indra was slowly approaching her holding the instrument in her hand. “It’s been cleaned, but it isn’t sterile. Sorry we couldn’t get better for you, but I figure, something with a little filth for our little bundle of filth right here!” Indra then handed the instrument over to the Death Eater known as Mr. Yorke. He slowly backed away, refusing to take part.

“Suits you well” Indra said as she passed Yorke up and began to hand it to another Death Eater. This one too refused to take the instrument. Indra was beginning to get a bit peeved.

“OH COME ON!!!! YOU CAN FUCK THE GIRL BUT YOU CAN’T STICK THIS UP THERE!!!!”

“Forgive me,” one Death Eater said bowing down to Indra. “we agree that the mudblood should suffer, but don’t you think this is a bit too rash. We very well know that this could kill her” he said in all sincerity.

“WELL FUCK ME WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!!” Indra turned to Hermione and the false sweetness came back. “I picked that saying up in America.” She then turned back to the Death Eater questioning her motives and the dementia came out again. “DO YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE’S GOING TO WALK OUT OF HERE ALIVE! THANK YOU VOLDEMORT FOR LEAVING ME WITH SUCH PUSSIES!”

Indra crucioed those who questioned and refused her. As soon as she felt they were punished enough, she turned around and walked up to Hermione. Hermione’s panic quickened and she felt her heart beating so fast. It could jump out of her heart any minute now and she wouldn’t feel a thing.

“Oh well.............never leave a man to do a woman’s job” Indra said as the heels of her shoes reverberated on the floor in her approach.

Hermione’s screams of pain and torture blanketed the entire house and were the last thing heard before she passed out - hoping never to awaken.



Severus Snape awoke suddenly. It was, from what he could tell, around three in the morning and never before had he awoken in such a state. Not even in his years as a Death Eater had he had such an unpleasant experience in his sleep. He could have sworn he heard what was probably the most unbearable scream released. It must have been a dream he thought with a hint of suspicion in his mind. As he lay back down, making himself comfortable yet again, he fell asleep with the distinct notion that something was wrong. Yes, something was very wrong.