A Thoroughly Unwelcome Proposal

Chapter Three
Thanks to all my reviewers. You know what they say, many reviews make for faster updates (not really, but I still like hearing from my readers.)

For those of you who don't like Snape/Ginny, don't worry the attraction is strictly one-sided. (Apologies for those who do like Snape/Ginny, they won't be getting together in this story)

(Still no real smut, but we do get a glimpse at someone's fantasy life)


(Still at) The Burrow, Early Monday Evening, Oct 25, 1999

Ginny's hair entered the room first, followed by the rest of her as she shuffled in with her eyes fixed firmly on her feet. The room echoed with hems and haws as everyone waited for someone else to speak first. Ginny looked up at Snape, turned beet red, and looked down again.

Ron moaned when he woke up and he looked at Hermione, who shrugged. "Is it true?" he asked Ginny, his eyes bugging out.

"You told them the ... good news, sir?" Ginny mumbled, not answering her brother.

"The dastardly bride-to-be does not even dare address the object of her depraved desires by his given name," Luna mumbled, scribbling on her parchment.

"I mean Prof ... Se ... Se ...," Ginny said.

Snape came out with a strangled sound, not quite a growl or a moan, and Ginny's mouth snapped shut.

"Ginny," Molly said in an overbright tone of voice as she waved Snape's marriage petition in the air. "Explain this."

"Yeah," Ron moaned, holding his head in his hands. "Were you under imperious or something?"

"No," Ginny said firmly. "I went to see Percy last Friday night, he is my brother, even if he is a git, and we were just chatting over a bottle, or two, maybe three, of firewhiskey, and Percy mentioned he had a friend in the Marriage Bureau."

"Percy," Ron hissed, and Hermione shushed him.

"Anyways," Ginny continued. "Percy said Harry was bound to get a lot of petitions, and Percy thought I was still infatuated with him, he was only trying to be nice, Mom," she added when Molly looked ready to faint. "Percy said if I filled out a marriage petition that night, he could owl it to his friend, and my petition would be the first one to reach Harry. That way I would 'stand out from the crowd', Percy said."

"You mean you thought you were petitioning for Harry?" Molly said as Harry preened and looked smug.

"Percy tricked you," Arthur said with both anger and sadness in his voice.

"How dare that boy drag me into your family squabbles," Snape snarled. "He'll learn what a mistake it is to annoy me."

"No!" Ginny shouted over the rising number of voices denouncing Percy. "Leave Percy alone. He didn't trick me. I ... what happened was I told him I had no interest in Harry."

"None?" Harry asked, his smug look disappearing.

Ginny gave Harry an apologetic look before continuing. "The only man I wanted to petition for, I told Percy, was Prof ... Severus. And, well, Percy laughed and refused to believe I was serious. So I filled out the marriage form, and owled it to Percy's friend in the Marriage Bureau, just to prove I wasn't joking. I did try to take it back the next morning once the firewhiskey wore off, but it seems I ... can't."

"Ginny," Ron said slowly. "You were obviously under the influence of some dark arts ..."

"Influence of spirits," Hermione muttered.

"... because there is no way you could really want to marry him," Ron finished.

"Don't be silly, Ron," Ginny chided. "I've fancied the Prof ... Severus for years."

"What!" several voices, including Snape's, exclaimed at the same time.

"You too?" Luna murmured distractedly.

"It might have been the wrong way to propose," Ginny said, and Hermione sniffed disdainfully.

"But it's going to be alright," Ginny said, grinning broadly before running across the room and throwing her arms around Snape, who looked down at the girl plastered against him with bewilderment. This soon changed to an expression of utter horror when he felt Ginny's hand move downwards to squeeze his bum.

Ron's eyes rolled and, unnoticed by anyone but Hermione, he fell into another faint. "Oh Ron, stop this," Hermione said, frowning down at her unconscious lover.

"Snape!" Arthur roared. "What did you do to my little girl! You ... you utter, depraved creature!"

"You don't think I ... the girl is insane, completely insane," Snape sputtered as he wrenched himself free of Ginny's grasp.

"Don't mind Dad," Ginny giggled, gazing at Snape fondly. "I'll be a good wife, Professor, you'll see. We'll be ever so happy."

Snape stared at her and his mouth twitched angrily. "Listen, you silly chit," he growled. "I will be a miserable husband, and will make my wife's short life utterly wretched."

"I will, however," he added as turned to the exit. "Be a very happy widower."

"I say, there's no call for threats," Arthur said to Snape's departing back.

"He doesn't mean it," Ginny said cheerfully.

"Oh dear," Molly said, looking at the front foyer. "Professor Snape's forgotten his cloak."

"I'll take it to him," Ginny offered.

"No! No, I'll just send it to Hogwarts by Owl," Molly said quickly.

"Is it over?" Ron asked weakly.

"Yes, Ron," Hermione said. "You can open your eyes now."

"Yes, well, I think it's time you children went home," Molly said briskly. "Not you!" she said to Ginny.

"Ah, right," Arthur said nervously. "Run along now, and Mother and I will have a talk with Ginny."

"Yes, of course," Hermione said, clapping a hand over Ron's mouth before he could protest. "We'll leave you alone. Come along, Harry, Luna."

"B..but," Ron stuttered as Hermione dragged him out.


Hogwart's Entrance Hall, Late Monday Evening, Oct 25, 1999

The door banged open and thunder roared as the dark, dangerous man stepped into the hall, droplets of water cascading down his raven-black hair and scowling face. The beautiful, talented seer ran down to meet him. "I knew you would come for me," she sighed.

"It is you, it has always been you, I know that now," he said, gazing at the trembling form before him with hungry eyes.

"Yes, my dark one, it was foreordained," she answered, staring raptly into his night-black eyes. Her robe fell open, and he was transfixed by the sight of her perfect, snow-white throat. With a growl, he crossed the space between them with a mighty stride, and greedily crushed his lips to hers.

"My love," she gasped, tearing herself reluctantly from the embrace of her wonderful demon. "Not here, someone might see us."

"I don't care," he snarled, and advanced on her again. His hands clawed at his robes and his shirt until he laid bare his manly chest. She gasped and modestly turned her eyes away from the tantalizing sight. Almost angrily, he grasped her shaking hands and pressed them against his fever-hot chest. "I burn with a fire that only your soothing touch can quench," he rasped.

Giving in to temptation, and throwing caution to the winds, the once-shy maiden boldly began to run her hands over the pale body of her destined lover. His lips trembled with barely-restrained passion as her hands roved over his chest, his stomach, and lower ...

... lower

... lower

"Any sign of Snape?" Hooch asked, tapping Trelawney on the shoulder.

"Aaagh!" Trelawney squealed, and toppled backwards. Only Hooch's quick grab saved her from tumbling headfirst down the stairway.

"Didn't you know I would do that?" Hooch chuckled.

"The inner eye is not used for such trivial matters," Trelawney said archly and then turned her head. "Shush, someone's coming through the doors. I think it's him."

Snape was frowning when he stepped into Hogwarts' darkened hall, he looked around nervously, as though fearing to see a flash of ginger hair, and took a deep breath before striding across the floor.

"Aha! It is him. He has come back, just when I foresaw he would," Trelawney shouted gleefully, and Snape winced.

"Nonsense, Sybill," McGonagall said coldly from behind her. "You and Rolanda have been hanging around this hall all day, hoping to spot Severus."

"And what are you doing here?" Sinistra called as she came strolling over from the other end of the Hall.

"I am patrolling," McGonagall said sternly.

Snape pulled his robes close around him and tried to sneak past the gathered witches, but Trelawney clutched at his sleeve as he passed. "It went badly, I see," she said, her eyes enormous behind her glasses. "You are fated to marry, I know."

"Let go of me," he snarled.

"I have seen your doom, in this very school it walks," she breathed, leaning forwards. "I should know, for the blood of seers runs in my, pure-blooded, veins."

Snape stepped back from Trelawney and stood, with arms crossed, as he gaped at her. Sinistra was laughing so hard she couldn't stand straight, and Hooch had an unholy gleam in her own eyes.

"That's enough," McGonagall snapped. "Everyone go to your rooms. Now! Come with me, Professor Snape."

Somewhat dazedly, Snape followed McGonagall as she took him to her office. She went to her cabinet, poured a generous goblet of brandy, and handed it to Snape, who drank it down in one swallow. "I'm starting to miss the Dark Lord," he moaned, as McGonagall refilled his goblet.

"Don't exaggerate, Severus," she said, filling her own glass. "It's not that bad. I'm sure the law will be overturned soon."

"I have thirty, make that twenty-nine, days, Minerva," he said glumly. "Even the likes of your favourite Little Miss Know-it-all can't pull it off that quickly."

"No," she agreed with a sigh. "Surely there's some witch you could persuade to marry you? You did run in the pure-blood circles for a lot of years."

"Yes," he said dryly. "And the witches I met were Death Eaters, or Death Eater supporters. I doubt any of them are feeling charitable towards me."

"You must know some pure-bloods who don't want to see you in excruciating pain," she said. "Some old girlfriend, perhaps?"

"Several, the witches were all over me when I was younger," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, Severus," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "You're much more attractive than you think. Why, just the other day Rolanda mentioned she thought you had a lovely ... um, that she found you desirable."

Snape blinked, and eyed McGonagall as though trying to decide if she was serious. "Desirable, or not," he said, curling his lip slightly upwards. "I don't think I have time to court a stranger."

"Well, perhaps someone from school," McGonagall said hesitantly.

"You cannot possibly be suggesting I look up an old student," he said with a shudder. "I look at former students, and all I see is a bratty first year."

"Yes, the recent graduates do look young," she said. "But after a while, say twenty or so years later, the old student/teacher relationship just doesn't exist anymore."

"I haven't been teaching for quite that long, they all still look like little dunderheads to me," he growled, and stared out the window. "But, perhaps, a colleague. Not Trelawney," he mused, shivering.

"Definitely not Trelawney," McGonagall said, a smile dancing on her lips.

"Do you know anything about Hooch's ancestry?"

"H..hooch?" McGonagall gasped.

"You did say she fancied me?" Snape prodded.

"Yes, but ..."

"I must be going, thank you for the drink, Minerva," Snape said as he jumped up and ran out the door.

"Oh dear," McGonagall said, sitting down heavily.

"That didn't go well at all, did it Minerva?" a voice from the portrait hanging above the desk asked. "Unless you meant to get Severus and Rolanda together. In that case, it went very, very well indeed."

"Be quiet, Albus," McGonagall snapped.