A Cursed Wound

Poppy ushered Molly out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Remus was too weak to argue and settled back against the pillows.

“Well?” the soft question reminded him that he was not alone in the room.

“Well what?” Remus replied softly, realizing he was on the losing end of this argument. Tonks walked to the window and leaned her forehead against it. Her breath fogged the window, blurring her reflection. She looked lost and alone. He would give anything to hold her, but knew it was impossible. He needed to be firm. He needed to drive her away.

“Don’t act daft, Remus,” she said softly. “I know you lied to me. We are mated. The books say --”

“The books are nothing but myths,” he stated, struggling to focus as Moony stirred to life within him. Merlin’s balls! Not now! Moony should be exhausted. He always had been in the past. The week after a transformation was the only time he felt whole, not having to answer to the instinctual yearnings of the wolf.

Tonks turned and glared at him. “That’s a load of shite and you know it!”

Kicking his blankets off, Remus sat up, ignoring all the aches and pains of having all of his bones and muscles broken and torn during a transformation. “Were any of those books written by werewolves? How would an author know what a werewolf truly goes through? I –”

“I’m an Auror, Remus!” Tonks shouted. “I’m not stupid. There are records, scientific research. And I asked around.”

Unable to meet her gaze, Remus stared at the floor.

“You underestimated me, Moony,” she declared. “Did you think I was just going to go away? I spoke with a mated couple. They told me what to expect and when to expect it.”

Standing on shaky legs, Remus took a hesitant step toward the furious witch. “Tonks, I –”

“Sit down and shut your gob, you daft git!” She shook a finger at him.

He backed away and sat on the bed.

“Like it or not, we are mated,” she stated softly, her hands on her hips. “I love you, you stupid man. Ever since I met you, I’ve done nothing but trip over myself trying to get you to notice me. But you never did.

“We were both a bit snockered after the ball,” Tonks continued, kneeling in front of him and resting her head in his lap as though she were exhausted.

The temptation was too great, and Remus touched her hair with his bandaged hands. “Tonks, I—”

“No,” she cried, pulling away from him but still kneeling on the floor. She looked at him, her brown eyes shiny with unshed tears. “Let me finish, please.”

Remus nodded for her to continue.

“I love you,” Tonks stated softly. “You’d had too much to drink. So had I. We – we were both a bit snockered that night.”

“You’ve already established that,” he murmured, trying to get her to smile.

“I pushed things,” she explained, sitting back on her feet and rubbing her palms up and down her jean-clad thighs. “M-maybe I shouldn’t have.” Her voice was a shaky whisper. “You made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want…me.”

“Tonks, I—”

Wiping the back of her hand over her eyes, she dashed the tears angrily away that had started to fall. “You don’t love me. We made a mistake. I apologize for taking advantage of you. Just tell me… I haven’t… lost you as a friend.”

Remus couldn’t believe his ears. She was trying to break things. Now was the time – the time to twist the knife of rejection so deeply that she would never want him again.

After all, it would be easier for her when he left. She would move on and learn to hate him and he would learn how to survive without her. It would be a small price to pay and Tonks would have the life she deserved. But then Remus looked into her hopeful pleading eyes and knew such cruelty was beyond him.

“No,” whispered Remus. “Of course you haven’t.”

The relief in her eyes was overwhelming. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to make love to her. If he weren’t so weak, he’d act on his instinct.

Smiling, Tonks rested her head in his lap.

Remus ran the back of his bandaged hands over her hair. “You’ll be fine, Nymph.”

Tonks pulled back, eyeing him peculiarly. “We,” she corrected haughtily.

“We,” lied Remus, unable to meet her unwavering gaze.

--

Flexing his newly scarred hands, Remus winced as he pulled his trousers on. The last week had been a blur, various visitors stopping by unannounced as though his condition were something new. He’d had rough spells before, especially before the advent of Wolfsbane.

Ever since he could remember, Remus had spent the time of the full moon locked away. Even the Shrieking Shack was a prison of sorts. Dumbledore had always told him that the Shack was for Remus’ protection, but Remus had known better. If it hadn’t been for Peter, James, and Sirius, his transformations at Hogwarts would have turned disastrous.

Puberty was a difficult enough time as it was. Being a werewolf only complicated matters. He’d never forget the “talk” that Poppy had given him. All the books Tonks had read on werewolf mating habits were spot on. Werewolves mated for life, just like regular wolves. Poppy had stressed to him that he couldn’t “do” what the other boys his age were probably doing.

He knew then that he could never take a lover.

Yes, he was comfortably well off, no longer worried about where his next meal was coming from or where he would sleep for the night. No matter how many Galleons sat in his vault, Remus would never be comfortable being rich. The pretentious décor of Grimmauld Place only reminded him of his place.

He didn’t belong here. Just like Harry, he really did despise the old mansion. Sirius had hated it – everything it had stood for.

Nevertheless, Remus was poised to use the Galleons in the vault and leave Grimmauld once and for all.

Someone knocked softly at the door and Remus froze.

It can’t be her, he thought, barely able to breathe.

“Remus?”

Relaxing at the sound of Harry’s voice, Remus pulled his shirt on and started to button it. Now was as good a time as any to ask Harry for this favor. “Come in.”

The door creaked open and Harry stepped into the room.

“You wanted to see me?” Harry asked.

Remus looked at the man who had turned into an near exact replica of James. Harry looked tired, almost sickly.

“Harry,” Remus said, motioning for Harry to have a seat. “What’s the matter? What’s happened? Is everyone okay?” Remus could feel bile rise in his throat as a sudden thought hit him.. “Tonks?”

“Huh?” Harry looked confused.

“Tonks,” whispered Remus. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah. Why?” the younger wizard puzzled as he sat on the bed.

Relief flooded through Remus and he looked away so that Harry could not see how upset he had been. He grabbed his robe and put it on.

“Er, nothing,” Remus stammered. “You look horrible, Harry. What’s wrong?”

Harry ran a hand through his hair in frustration and sighed. Remus couldn’t help but smile. James used to do the same thing when he was frustrated with Lily.

“Not what,” sighed Harry. “Who.”

Remus tried to hide his grin. Just like his father, Harry had eyes for only one witch. “Ginny?”

Harry blushed. “Yeah.”

“I thought you two had called it quits.” Remus leaned against the bureau.

“We did, but…” Harry’s voice trailed off, but his eyes implored for there to be no discussion of specific details.

Remus didn’t say anything. If Harry wanted to confide in him, he would do so in his own time.

“She’s like a drug, Remus,” Harry stated breathlessly as though he’d been holding his breath. “I can’t get enough of her.”

“I see.” Remus crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Harry to continue.

Harry stood and started pacing the length of the room, seemingly trying to organize his thoughts. James had worn a hole in the carpet, worrying over Lily.

“We…well…you know,” Harry tried to explain, blushing a deep crimson. “Then we fight. She says I’m an insensitive prat who only cares about himself.”

Remus cringed. “And your reply?”

If possible, Harry’s blush deepened. “I kissed her, and we…well… you know.”

Merlin’s balls! Was this some sort of joke? Harry was asking him for advice on women? Now I’m blushing, Remus thought.

As if noticing the older wizard’s uncomfortable silence, Harry turned to look at Remus.

“I’m sorry, Remus,” Harry said. “You said you needed a favor when you owled me this morning. What kind of favor?”

Walking to the window, Remus looked out into the neglected garden. This place would no longer be his home. This place would no longer be the place that held memories of loved ones – the endless hours of Order members coming and going. That was the only appeal the house had ever held for him – the memories.

A solicitor had owled him yesterday. With a few minor modifications, the property Remus had purchased was ready for immediate occupancy. It was perfect -- a secluded country estate that was far enough away that Moony couldn’t harm anyone, much less get to Tonks.

The urge to seek out his nymph was growing with each passing day. It killed him to feign sleep when she looked in on him, but one word of intimacy from her lips would shred his passionate resolve, and he would have her fast and hard.

All he had to do now was arrange the transfer of Galleons to the solicitor to secure the property and guarantee no one would find him. That’s where Harry came in.

“I’m leaving,” Remus stated simply. “Leaving London to go live in the country. Tonks can have Grimmauld Place. I hate it here.”

Harry hesitated. “Well, Remus, we’ll miss you. Surely you’re not moving so far away that we won’t be able to visit on a regular basis.”

“That’s just it,” Remus said, his voice hoarse. “I don’t want anyone to know where I’m going. I need to get away. Away from this place. Away from everyone. I need time to myself – to think. I’m going to cast the Fidelius Charm, and I need you to be my Secret-Keeper.”

“But –” Harry started to argue.

“Promise me you’ll do it,” Remus pleaded.

“Of course I’ll do it,” Harry agreed. “But why?”

Holding his hands up, Remus grimaced. “Moony is out of control. Even with Wolfsbane I’m having a difficult time.”

“Okay,” Harry said as he stood up to leave. “When?”

“Soon.” Remus breathed a sigh of relief. “Before the next full moon.”

--

A few days later Remus flicked his wand at his books. They flew off the shelf and into his trunk. Satisfied, he closed the lid and shrank his baggage so that it would fit into his pocket.

“Wotcher, Remus,” Tonks’ soft voice greeted him from the doorway.

Relief flooded him for at least he would get to see her one last time. “Hello, Tonks.”

“I stopped by earlier, but you were out,” she stated as she walked into his room and looked around. She frowned. “Where are all your books?”

Tensing, Remus tried to downplay the question with a casual answer. “I’ve moved some of them into the library downstairs and I’m going to sell the rest.”

“Oh,” she replied.

“How’s work?” He cringed. He sucked at making idle chitchat.

“It’s okay.” Tonks replied as she walked around the bed. “Harry seems a bit off. It seems he and Ginny are back together.”

“Good.” Remus could sense Tonks’ hesitation and tensed. “And you? Are you all right?”

Looking down at her robe, she picked at a spot on it. Remus found it odd. There wasn’t anything wrong with her robe. Something was off. Something didn’t smell right. But then he noticed it.

She wasn’t morphed. Her hair was a flat and lifeless brown, framing her heart-shaped face and making her look paler than usual.

“I’m fine,” she sniffled, now looking at a spot on the floor. “I think I’m catching a cold.”

Was that it? Was that what he smelled – her coming down with a cold? “Maybe you should go to bed and get some rest.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Tonks agreed cheerfully, turning her hair a vibrant pink. She jumped onto his bed and smirked at him. “Mind if I use your bed?”

Before he could stop her, she was naked and crawling across his bed invitingly. He was mesmerized, logic dictating he stop her. “Nymph,” he growled in warning, unable to move.

Her nimble fingers divested him of clothing, and he had to kneel on the bed in front of her to keep his knees from buckling. Just this once, he promised himself. Just her and me…no Moony. Remus was in control.

As soon as he was within reach, Tonks skipped the preliminaries, laving his erect flesh with the tip of her tongue as she balanced all her weight on her elbows.

“Gods!” hissed Remus, threading his fingers through her hair and coaxing her to take all of him.

He moaned as the warm cavern of her mouth surrounded him. The torture was sweet and languid as his nymph imbued the dormant passion within.

“Tonks, I –” he whimpered when she hastened her movements. With each stroke, she took more of him. “I want to be inside you, luv.”

She was unrelenting and he had yet to learn how to temper his response to her. In one fell swoop, Remus pinned her beneath him and slid inside her. He pumped mindlessly into her, driven by the animalistic urges of the wolf. Sating himself quickly, he pulled away from her and stumbled backwards.

He glanced out the window and saw the pale orb emerging from beneath the clouds. He was helpless, his heartbeat rapidly accelerating as the ancient curse took hold of him.

Not like this, Remus cried as Moony emerged with the renewed vigor of stalking his mate.

Remus watched in horror as Tonks tried to get away, only to be trapped in the corner by the silver monster.

Run! screamed Remus.

Moony whined and snapped menacingly at the petrified witch who was huddled in the corner. There was no escape for her. She was powerless.

Remus was close now, close enough to witness the horror that had haunted his thoughts ever since he’d mated with Tonks. Nuzzling her shoulder roughly, the werewolf sank his teeth into the flesh.

“No!” Remus shouted, finally pulling himself from the desperate depths of the nightmare. The duvet was twisted around him and he fought to release himself. Finally free, he ran out of the room and out of the house, searching the sky for the moon.

He couldn’t see it, but he knew it was there. The new moon was never visible, yet Remus could feel the push and pull of the celestial power. He was halfway through the cycle. In fourteen days, Moony would take possession of his human soul and hunt the one they desired.

Remus shuddered, Tonks’ screams in his nightmare echoing in his mind.

Tomorrow he would leave. He would cast the Fidelius Charm and disappear from her life forever.

*****