Remember

Chapter 3: If I stop breathing…

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It’s very strange to go from hating someone one term to being friends with them the next. I feel like I’m supposed to think this is wrong, but I don’t.

I just think it’s a long time coming. Because inevitably, someone takes a step forward. No one likes to be standing in the same spot for too long -- at least not Draco or me.

But I really don’t know if I would call us ‘friends.’ Because he kissed me, and I most definitely kissed back, and that’s not an exchange found within most friendships. I mean, you don’t see me going up to Ron and planting a wet one on him.

Merlin, now I’ll have that thought in my head all day.

I don’t think Draco and I are…dating, because neither one of us asked the other out, and it would be so weird to go up to another bloke and say ‘Hey, you wanna be my boyfriend?’ Even if we are both gay, we are definitely both too manly for that!

Okay, really, we’re both too afraid to do that. Same difference, right?

So what are we? I’ll have to talk to him about it.

“Draco?”

He looks up from where his head is, on my lap, and smiles. He looks really quite hot right now, sprawled out across the seat like that. And I’ve decided that I really love it when he smiles. That’s my favorite Draco face.

“Yeah?”

“Are we…I mean, what are we?”

“Um, we’re boys, Harry.”

“That’s not what I meant, you git.” Old habits die hard.

But he smiles anyway, as if I’m joking. I know I’m not joking, but best not to start a fight now that we’ve finally gotten along.

“Then what did you mean, Harry?”

“I meant…I mean, are we,” I take a deep breath, preparing myself for attack I’ll get for even suggesting this. ‘I’m Draco Malfoy, of course I’m not dating you. You’re below me.’ “…dating?”

He shoots up so that he’s sitting up straight and looks at me. Here it comes.

“I…I don’t know.”

Okay, so not what I expected.

“Well, at least one of us should know. In case someone, I don’t know, asks?”

“Yeah. Do you think we’re…” gulp, “dating?”

“Well, we did kiss each other. And people who are just friends don’t do that. But neither of us asked the other out or anything. So that’s why I asked. Cause I don’t know what we are.”

“Oh.” Then he doesn’t talk at all for a good minute, and I’m starting to get anxious. “Well,” and looks at me, “I don’t know what to call us.” And then he takes a deep breath and says, quieter, “I just know that I liked kissing you, and I want to kiss you again sometime in the near future. And I liked you holding me, and I just want to know that if something happens, if I stop breathing, you’ll keep your arms around me. And I like talking to you, and getting to know you, and I want to get to know you more. And I know that I’ve never felt like this about anyone before.” Then he looked at me again, and I saw that he was scared. So I brought him back down to lie in my lap and continued to play with his hair, which is my second favorite part of Draco, after his smile. It’s not too long, like his father’s was. It’s about an inch above his shoulder, and he didn’t slick it back this year so it looks really sexy. And it feels like silk, and I love it.

“I think that we are dating, Draco.”

He looks up at me and smiles. “Okay.”

And I smile back, and say “okay.”

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So what Draco and I didn’t think of was that no one else would be ‘okay’ with Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter dating.

But it was something we should’ve counted on.

“Harry!” We both turn around, because we’re…the horror…holding hands, and see Ron running towards us. Draco goes to let go of my hand, but I hold on, because no matter how girly and wrong Ron is going to think it is, we both decided to do it, and it felt comfortable and nice, and I don’t care what Ron thinks because I finally found someone who can take me out of the daze I’ve been in my whole life.

“Harry, why are you with the ferret?” And Ron, on cue, practically growls and scowls at Draco.

Draco and I had decided that unless someone asked directly, we weren’t going to tell them we were dating. We also decided we weren’t going to hide; that they could just figure it out themselves by the way we’re acting.

“Because I want to be, Ron. And his name is ‘Draco’ you know.”

Ron looks as though he’s about to faint. Then he looks as though he’s going to kill me. He went from stark white to beat red in a second.

“Harry why’re you…” gulp, “holding hands” and he says this in a hushed tone, as if I’ll suddenly realize the magnitude of my actions and throw Draco away from me with superhuman strength. “with Malfoy?”

Again I say, “Because I want to, Ron.” And I don’t look down as though I was ashamed. Because I’m not ashamed, and I’m not going to let Ron think I am.

“Harry! Have you completely gone mad! It’s Malfoy.”

I feel Draco getting upset by everything he says, but I squeeze his hand to let him know that it’s okay, that I’ll take care of it.

“I know who it is, Ron. And I don’t like you insulting him like that.”

“WHAT!? You don’t like me insulting him!? Harry, let’s go to Pomfrey. Come on, now, something’s definitely wrong with you.”

It’s strange that he says that, because I was thinking that before I met Draco on the train, that something had to be wrong with me for me to be thinking the things I was thinking. But now it’s the last thing I want to do, because all I want to do is stay with Draco. I know that that’s the right thing. I feel it.

“No, Ron. I’m going inside with Draco. You can come, or you can stay.” And with that I turned around and Draco and I started walking away.

“He was your best friend for five years, Harry.” Draco says quietly.

“I know that.”

“You’re just…you’re throwing that away.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement, one made with a mix of awe and skepticism.

I stop walking, so Draco does to, and he looks at me, questioning with his eyes.

“Draco, what is it?”

He looks down.

“No, look at me. Come on, please?”

And so he does.

“What is it?” I say again, quieter than last time.

“It’s just…for five years Ron Weasley was your best friend, and I was the enemy, and you know, the whole time I wished that it was the other way around, that you had chosen me over him in first year. But you didn’t. And he’s been good to you, and helped you, and been loyal to you, and all I’ve done was try to get you expelled.”

“You don’t think I should choose you over him now.” Again, this wasn’t a question. It was a statement, and I made it with enough anger in my voice that Draco looked startled. “You know, I’m really sick and tired of people telling me how I should live my life; it’s my fucking life! And I can choose whoever the hell I want to. Merlin, what gives you the right to make a decision for me? I choose you! Okay, Draco! That’s it. That’s all I know.” And I take a breathe. “I choose you.”

Draco looks at me with wonder in his eyes, and then he smiles slightly, and leans forward, and kisses me.

His lips move against mine, and his tongue snakes out to lick at my bottom lip, begging for something I’m all too willing to give him. I open my mouth and his tongue flicks inside, just slightly caressing mine with his. I groan at this contact, wanting more but he doesn’t give it to me. He continues to make the touches light, barely there, and I try to move my tongue into his mouth, just to get a better taste, but he won’t allow it. Finally, his tongue moves all the way into my mouth, running along the top of mine and then back again. He twists his tongue with mine, and I groan low in my throat again. I put my arms around his neck as his move to my waist and pull me closer, so our bodies are pressing up against each other in all the right places.

Until someone suddenly shrieks “Harry!” and we are forced to break apart.

Which was probably a good thing anyway, cause I really don’t want my first time to be in a hallway.

I’m breathing a little heavy, because when you get kissed like that it really does take you breath away. I lick my lips slightly and I feel that they’re a bit swollen, like only a good thorough snog can do. Draco’s lips are swollen as well, but he looks quite smug about it, and I smile.

We both turn to face who it was that called me, even though I already know.

“Harry Potter, just what are you doing?!” Hermione, again, shrieks. Women.

“Well, Hermione, right now I’m standing here talking to you.”

She narrows her eyes. “I mean, what were you doing…with…Draco Malfoy?”

“I was kissing him, Hermione. Merlin, it seems you’re losing your touch. You were the smartest witch in the school, and now you don’t even know what kissing looks like. Such a shame.” I don’t know what made me be this way with her, so sarcastic. I’d never been this way before. But the mix of Ron’s nasty comments and her incredulous eyes and Draco’s lips made me feel a bit wicked.

“Harry, why were you kissing him?” She looks so upset, as though I had told her that I liked her the way she liked me. Well, she shouldn’t have assumed that.

“Because I wanted to.”

Now Ron is next to her and he just shakes his head. “Don’t bother asking him, Hermione. He’ll never give you a straight answer.”

“You saw them together before?”

“They were walking off the train together, holding hands,” and Ron visibly shudders, “and I asked Harry why.”

I hate that they’re talking about us as though we’re not there.

But now Hermione turns back to me and asks what Ron should have, “Harry, are you…you aren’t dating him?”

“Why, yes, Hermione, I am. So glad you caught on.”

Ron looks a bit green. I want to smirk, but he was my best friend for five years, and it’s not as though I don’t care about him, or Hermione, anymore. Of course I do. But if this is how they’re going to behave about it, then I’d rather then leave me alone.

Ron finally speaks. “I can’t believe you, Harry. After everything he’s done.”

I look back at Draco, who looks scared, as if what I said before doesn’t matter because now I’m going to choose them over him. I walk over to him and take his hand in mine, and then look back at Ron briefly. “There are some things you just don’t understand, Ron.”

And I look back at Draco, who looks very relieved. I lean up a bit, because Draco’s about an inch and a half taller than me, and kiss him very lightly.

“Ugh, please. My eyes.” I turn around and glare at Ron.

“Ron, you have been my best friend for five years. This is who I am now, and this is who I want to be with. If you can’t accept that, then just leave me alone.”

Ron considers this for a moment and then says, “I can’t believe you’re choosing him over me.”

“I’m not. Unless you make me. I want both of you in my life, but if it comes down to it, then yes Ron, I choose Draco.”

“Turnabout is fair play?” Ron asks.

I turn and smile at Draco and say, still looking at Draco, “something like that.”

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“If I stop breathing, keep your arms around me.” is from a Starting Line song, Three Is A Charm.

Reviews please.

Oh, and to

Thrnbrooke-yes to all questions. I hope you like what happened next.
Dezra-thank you!
Roxierose13-there’s going to be a tad bit of angst in this story, but hopefully not so much to make you stop reading.