Doll Parts

Journal of Draco Malfoy

October 26, 1996

Hippogriff balls! I knew Potty was a queer. The crazy cretin accosted me in the boy\'s lavatory when I was freshening up after my visit with Snape. I will admit that I likely appeared a bit out of sorts after that particular meeting given.... But that doesn\'t give him the right to give me those pitying looks or... ugh... he actually hugged me. He came up... and hugged me. Then he offered to help. I told him to leave me alone, because I was having no more of anyone\'s help. Then that look again. Finally had to launch fire balls at him to get him to leave. What. A. Queer.

As for the meeting itself... it was all that I expected, I suppose. I\'m not sure the point of going into all of the skin-crawling details. Well, perhaps this one bit, because though he wasn\'t... inside of me, I found it just as troubling as the rest. He just wanted me to lay there on his bed for a while and he just gazed at me. Then he\'d walk by and slide his hands over my chest or down my thighs and tell me how beautiful I was. As if I don\'t know that I\'m beautiful. Although... no, I\'m still as beautiful. No one could possibly tell what happened just by looking at me, right?

Another weird thing was that although girls have done such things to me before, his mouth on my... on me... just felt... off somehow. As if it was a few degrees colder. (Which... doesn\'t make sense either. I don\'t know how to explain what was wrong. He just felt... deformed. Maybe his mouth is shaped wrong, or maybe it\'s his snaggly teeth. It just felt... wrong.) It was all executed in a rather measured and calculated way, as if he\'d read in a book the precise time it would take to bring someone to orgasm.

Oh, and then he collected my leavings off of my stomach into a phial. I was too shocked to even know what to say to that, not that I had time. I\'d like to know what in the name of Merlin he\'s going to do with... that. But then again, I don\'t.

All right, clearly I am going into the skin-crawling details. Maybe if I jot them here, they will stop lingering.

So, he bent me over his bed and he slathered this clammy, thick goo between my umm... well, there. As if standing there with my legs spread wasn\'t weird enough, he\'s putting this slimy potion on me. I protested. He didn\'t answer. He just grabbed my hips and rammed himself inside of me.

I don\'t know quite how to explain just how much it hurt. I knew it was going to, I just didn\'t know how much it could hurt.

It was as if I had no feeling anywhere else in my body but right there. I\'ve never been stabbed before, but that\'s what it felt like he was doing. Just stabbing into me over and over again. Just... stretched, like sometimes when you haven\'t gone to the bathroom in a while, and then you do and then it\'s very sore after that. Only... you weren\'t done after that, it just... keeps going. I almost lost my footing because the overwhelming pain had started to make my stomach churn. Severus slapped the side of my head to keep me to. I didn\'t even realize I was wailing until he yanked me by my hair and shouted in my ear to stop it.

I just pulled his pillow over my head. Now I know where Muggles got the term pillow-biter.