Bane of my Existence

By Dream Howler

*~*~*~*


Author Notes and Change Notes: I have made several changes to chapter one and two, and fixed several of the things mentioned by my readers. Please read both chapters again, as quite a bit of information was changed. I also want to apologize for taking so long to get out Chapter 3. Life has been a real B**ch lately, so please forgive my lateness. Another reason for my tardiness was that I held back on publishing this chapter until the new book came out, and now I wish that I didn\'t. I also would like to thank my great editor Drakeluvr for all her help.



Canon Notes: This story will be now be labeled Pre-HBP, which takes place in my version of Harry Potter\'s seventh year, based on all the events of the first five books. As for book 6, most of the content of this story will be different. I will be taking some of the spells, the info on Tom Riddle into account, the Horcruxes, and small events out of HBP, but the majority of this story will be in an Alternate Reality.



In addition, I did not describe Blaise as Black in this story, since it is a small detail; I could go back and describe him as Black. However, I earlier envisioned him as an dark Italian, and I have decided not to change it. Furthermore, since this story is in 7th year, the events described as flash backs of 6th year obviously didn\'t happen in canon.



Feedback Notes: Wow, the number of Reviews I have received overwhelms me. I almost gave up this story after the HBP came out. However, my faithful readers have persuaded me not to, so I will continue it as I once envisioned it, and will try not to let HBP influence my story too much.



Contact Info: I also have a writing journal, and a mailing list to update people on my writing.




http://www.greatestjournal.com'dreamhowler/ and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dreamhowler_writings/join




Copyright: This plot/story is ©2004 - 2005 by Dream Howler. This story is the sole property of its author, and may not be copied, in whole or in part, or posted on any other website without the written permission of the author. As for the characters that are in this story, they are the property of J.K. Rowling. I am not receiving money for writing this story, and have no money for any lawyers to take should they decide to sue me.

*~*~*~*


Answering Readers Questions: What does Caesius mean? Caesius is Latin for blue-gray, especially eyes. Many people in fan fiction have described Draco with Silver eyes with a bit of blue in them, and I liked that combination. My friend Jayson gave me the name so it is his idea. Thanks!



Have a question, or want to provide private feedback? Email: href=\"mailto:dreamy@dhowler.com\">dreamy@dhowler.com

*~*~*~*


Chapter 2 Recap:




In Chapter 2, Harry joined the band, Spectrum, after using several charms, including ones to change his appearance, because he believed that they would never allow him to join if they knew his real identity. The band is made up of two Slytherins, one Gryffindor, and one Hufflepuff; hence the name, Spectrum. Harry also spoke with Professor Dumbledore, who made him feel guilty for not revealing to Draco who he was.



Even though he feels guilty, he has convinced himself that as soon as Draco and the other members of the band would either kick him out, or worse, expect him to lead them to fame and fortune by revealing his identity. Fearing rejection, Harry has no idea who to turn to, since not even Ron and Hermione know he’s in Draco’s band. Not only that; but since Harry has yet to meet Caesius, he has no idea how his new friendship with Draco will make his pen pal feel.



The more time Harry spends with Draco, during band practice, the more he comes to realize that Draco isn\'t the stuck up git that he once thought him to be. However, Harry believes that Draco is more comfortable around him because he isn\'t Harry Potter, and it would ruin everything if Draco knew the truth, memories of his discussion with the headmaster coming quickly to mind.



One day, Harry slips up by accidentally leaving out his folder of songs in the music room that he used to practice in, that he now shares with the band, forgetting to lock it away. He is alerted to someone entering the room when he’s not there, and confronts Draco, finding the boy with the songbook he left behind. Angry that the boy’s reading things he never intended to share, he almost reveals himself, but effectively creates a diversion, relieved that Draco didn’t pursue the issue.



Only time will tell what will happen, stay tuned!

*~*~*~*




Chapter 3 - The Concert




It was still several days before the Halloween, and the scheduled concert, but Harry was a nervous wreck. \'What if I forget the spells, and can\'t change my appearance? What will I do if I forget the words to the songs? What will happen if the spells wear off during the concert if I do remember them? What if Draco catches the slip, and boots me out of the band?’ Harry groaned. \'Okay. Stop panicking, Harry. You’re not going to let anything like that happen. If you can stand up to a Dark Wizard every year since you were eleven, then you can surely pull off a concert!\'




Needing someone to talk to about his insecurities, Harry decided that the best therapy would be to write Caesius. Caesius always made him feel better. The sad part was, that Harry was beginning to feel a bit guilty about his new friendship with Draco, uncertain if the boy would be jealous or not. The truth was, he found the new Draco to be much more intriguing than he would ever give him credit for. Draco could be witty, extremely charming, and Harry had recently discovered how good-looking he had become. His pointy face developed into a strong, well-formed chin, his hair was longer now, and pulled back in a silver ribbon. There were times where Harry found he did a double take while looking at Draco. Sometimes it would take him several minutes to make sure it wasn\'t Lucius standing next to him during band practice.



Shaking his head, Harry walked over to his trunk, pulled out a piece of parchment, ink, and a quill. It was time that Harry did something for himself for a change, and forget the consequences for once. He was a Gryffindor, and he was going to act like one; boldly rushing into the situation, and take what he wanted.



After he finished his letter, he leaned out the window and blew the special whistle that Caesius had given him. A few moments later, Arrow flew into Gryffindor tower, and Harry sent off, carrying his new letter. Putting away his things, he went down to dinner. He was nervous now, but for a different reason, and he hoped that Caesius would finally put him out of his misery. Harry just had to find out who Caesius was soon, or he feared that his attention would begin to focus on Draco, who he was certain, wanted nothing to do with the real him.

*~*~*~*


Draco Malfoy was in the music room, currently trying to write a new song, but it wasn\'t turning out quite the way he had planned. Frustrated, Draco threw down his quill and sighed. It wasn\'t like him to feel this sort of anxiety. He was now mostly without a family, or any sort of support system, and had no one he could really turn to. Most of his so-called friends had pulled away from him after his father had died. He realized the hard way that the only reason most of the Slytherin’s appeared to be his friend was due to his father’s influence. It had hurt when he realized that the only ones, who hadn\'t totally deserted him, were Blaise and Daphne. Of course, the main reason they were still his friends was because no one in either of their families was a Death Eater, which meant that they didn\'t have anyone influencing them to drop his friendship. Blaise had become his closest friend in the last year and a half, and Draco was glad he had convinced him to join him in his dream.



Draco knew that he couldn\'t get a decent job when he got out of school. His family name had deteriorated so far, that even the news that his father had helped the Ministry, by providing them with the names of other Death Eaters, didn’t help. Draco had thought of playing professional Quidditch, or perhaps becoming an Auror, but he sincerely doubted he would be given either option. There would always be those who would doubt his sincerity. Therefore, he turned to his greatest love, music. Music would help him be something; it would all depend however, on how well the band performed at their concerts. Draco had asked Dumbledore to let the group play at the Three Broomsticks on Hogsmeade weekends, depending of course, on how the band was received after their first concert, and maybe one extra weekend if Madame Rosmerta needed it. It hadn\'t taken much to convince her that live music would draw an even bigger crowd, though she was planning on coming to the Halloween concert to hear them before making her final decision. Dumbledore was a bit harder to convince than Madam Rosmerta; he made Draco promise to be careful, that the group would have to be back to the castle before dark, and that they would take an escort. Draco didn\'t really mind the last stipulation, mainly because since people now knew that his father had betrayed the Dark Lord, that he might be a target.

*~*~*~*


On the opposite side of the school, and many floors above, Harry was doing his homework alone. Ron was off with his girlfriend, Daphne, and Hermione was with Fred in the library. It was a typical weekend for Harry, now that his friends had paired off. Shrugging as he finished off his Potions essay, he headed up to his room to retrieve his father\'s cloak. He would go down and work on some new song ideas before band practice. It was just a few days before the Halloween concert, and he wanted to practice his song a bit more anyway. Harry found it rather amusing that Draco hadn\'t noticed the fact that the very personal song, Pawn, was something that only someone like Harry Potter could have written. Luckily, it seemed that Draco was too distracted to notice, and his cover was still safe.



Just as Harry was about to throw the cloak over his head, he heard the hoot of an owl, and saw Arrow fly in the window. Harry smiled. \'Well, hopefully that\'s a good sign. He sent a response quickly; I just hope I don\'t have too much longer to wait to meet him.’ Unrolling the parchment, he began to read.





*~*~*~*

Harry,




I understand what you mean; there have been many people in my life that I thought I knew, only to find out years later, that I didn’t really know them at all. Take you for example. I, along with the majority of the Wizarding World, were brought up believing that your Muggle relatives adored you, and that you had everything you could ever want. That you lived like a King and that was why you broke so many rules at Hogwarts.




After reading your letters, I realize now how untrue that statement is. Your parents, killed when you were a baby, your godfather was sent to Azkaban for a murder he didn\'t commit, and you were forced to live with people who thought you were unnatural, and a freak. Personally, I don\'t know how I would have survived that, myself. I think it\'s amazing how well you turned out, when you are the product of that kind of environment.




It is too bad that many people will never know the truth. Perhaps when you’re older, you should have someone write a book about your life, you could finally set the record straight, and perhaps get some peace. Just don\'t let it be one of the Creevey brothers; I don’t think they would do you justice. I find their fan club utterly ridiculous. When will they get a clue that you don\'t want one?




Anyway, I want to thank you for finally answering my questions. I know that it is hard to trust someone that you don\'t know, and I am glad to see that you have finally decided to extend that privilege to me. I think I have made you suffer enough, Harry. I want to meet you, on 7 November at Midnight in the Astronomy tower. Please say you will come, Harry. I have to tell you I how I feel in person.




Yours truly,




Caesius




P.S. Don\'t forget to take off the necklace for Dueling Class tomorrow. I don\'t think it would do to have an unfair advantage when you need to be practicing shield charms. By the way, below is a list of charms that are on the necklace. I have seen Ms. Granger trying to get a pass to the restricted section to research them. It might be helpful to know what she is looking for.




Repelus – Repels hexes

Caudex – Blocks curses and jinxes, making them bounce back to their caster

Gustos – A powerful shield charm that encases the user in a shield, protecting them from harm

Defendere – Defends against Dark and unfriendly spells

*~*~*~*


Harry beamed; Caesius was finally going to tell him who he was! Ecstatic, Harry quickly penned a reply before band practice, and sent it off. It wasn\'t very long, but Harry hoped that it conveyed the right amount of need and happiness. Putting away his writing materials, he put his cloak on, and wandered down the stairs towards his practice room.



As Harry walked down the halls, the Knut that he carried in his pocket had begun vibrating again. The Knut was a part of a door alarm that went off when the ward around the band room was accessed, it first went off while he was writing his reply to Caesius. Pulling back into the shadows, he set the Knut on identify and noticed Draco had entered early. Pulling back to a secret passageway nearby, Harry quickly cast his spells to become Anton, before walking into the practice room.



Clearing his throat quietly, Harry moved further into the room, looking at Draco quietly. Draco startled slightly at the sound, looked up from where he had settled to write earlier.



\"Hello, Anton,” Draco whispered quietly.



\"Hi, Draco, what\'s the matter? You look a little down,\" Harry said.



\"Oh, not down. More like, I am nervous. This concert needs to go well, or we may not get anywhere as a band. Even if we don\'t go anywhere, I bet you could do it without us, Anton,” Draco said in reply.



Harry chuckled softly. \"Draco, I couldn\'t do much without a band. You’re being too hard on yourself. Of course, I think you have always been that way, so I guess I shouldn\'t be too surprised.\"



Draco sat quietly and pondered this for a few moments before replying. \"You seem to know me a little too well, Anton.\"



Harry grinned. \"Well, I have become pretty observant since really getting to know you, Draco. You like to project this, ‘I’m in charge’ kind of attitude, but most of the time it is just an act.\"



Draco sighed. \"Yeah, I guess you are right. I was just thinking that this is my only shot if I actually want to do some sort of work for a living. Of course, I probably don\'t need to work, but who wants to sit around all the time, and not do anything? At least my father had the Board of Governors, and things like that to do.\"



Harry looked at Draco in confusion. \"What about Quidditch?\"



Draco shrugged. \"Guess they don\'t want me. I applied to a couple of my favorite teams; they told me that they didn\'t have any openings.\"



Harry chuckled. \"Maybe they didn\'t... it\'s not always a brush off. I heard last week that the Magpies needed a seeker, though they might have filled it by now.\"



Draco frowned. \"Well, that was one of the teams I applied to, it doesn\'t surprise me that they didn\'t owl me. I would imagine that they needed someone now as opposed to later, but father has kind of sullied the family name with all his activities, so that doesn\'t help either.\"



Harry nodded. \"Yeah, I suppose not. However, I did hear that he gave the names of many Death Eaters before he died. That should have helped; right? I mean, he helped the Ministry quite a bit when he did that. Although, it happened when Fudge was still in office... so, I’m really not surprised that the extent of his help went unrecognized.\"



Draco chuckled. \"Anton, my father wasn\'t doing that to help anyone but himself. Azkaban is horrible, even if most of the Dementors are gone...\"



Harry understood this reasoning - probably more than most. His Godfather had mentioned several times, about how bad Azkaban was with the Dementors. \"Yeah, I would imagine it was worse with all the Dementors there.\"



Draco nodded. \"Father always said it was pretty bad. He really wouldn\'t talk about it much. I can\'t say I blame him though.\"



A moment later, Harry felt the Knut in his pocket vibrate once more, and Wayne and Blaise walked in. Halting their conversation, Harry and Draco moved to get their instruments, and they fell into their normal positions to begin band practice.

*~*~*~*


On 31 October, Professor Dumbledore dismissed all classes half way through the day. The Headmaster and the Professors knew that the students were too excited to learn, and it would do no good to hold them in their classes. Since they had extra time to get ready, the girls began running from dorm to dorm, borrowing items that would look the best. The professors had given them permission to wear regular clothes instead of their dress robes to the feast and concert tonight, and they were very excited by the prospect.



The Hogwarts rumor mill, also known as Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, Parvati Patil, and Lavender Brown, had heard Draco Malfoy bragging about this bass player that they had found, but the mystery was, no one knew who they were. Some speculated that he was a student who had already graduated, and that he was a friend of one of the other members; some speculated that he might even be an adult, perhaps even one of the professors, but Draco squashed that particular rumor. The new guy was a complete mystery, and it seemed that Draco Malfoy loved every new rumor about his mysterious band mate. It was making his band more popular than he could have guessed.



By the time the feast began though, Draco was worried. Looking around, Draco was unable spot Anton anywhere, and they needed to be set up shortly. Dumbledore had just said his normal nonsense words, and the feast had begun. Draco piled a light dinner on his plate, and tried to look calm as he ate. He knew that playing with a full stomach was not a good idea, and that it would cause extreme indigestion.



Once Draco had finished, he looked around one more time and signaled to Blaise and Wayne that it was time to get ready. Glancing around again for Anton, Draco wondered if they were even going to get to perform. \'Did Anton freak out and get sick? Is he in the hospital wing? Where is he?’ Draco thought frantically.



\"Not worried about me are you, Draco?\" whispered a voice that seemed to be coming out of thin air. Draco turned around quickly, and was startled to find Anton already in the room. \"I came in early, I was too nervous to eat.\"



\"Oh, no… of course, I wasn\'t worried about you. You said you would be here, right?” Draco breathed a sigh of relief, as Harry smirked at him. Harry knew the truth; Draco was afraid that his mysterious band mate wasn\'t going to show up. \'It\'s nice to see him show some emotions. For a while there, I was worried he didn\'t have any,’ Harry thought.




Draco cleared his throat as he looked around at the scattered instruments. \"Well, we might as well relax for a few moments. The feast is about half over, any last minute things we need to talk about? Are we still going with the same song order?\" asked Draco.



\"As far as I know, Draco, unless Anton changed his mind about Pawn,” Blaise replied as he looked over toward Anton.



Harry sighed, looking over at the dark headed boy, and shrugged. \"I know you guys like it and all, but I just have a bad feeling about playing it in front of the school. However, you wanted me to sing it, so I guess I will. Though, if you don\'t see me for a while, my friends have killed me,” Anton said with a slight laugh.



\"Anton, I doubt your friends would kill you for singing it. Have a little more faith in your friends,” Wayne replied with a chuckle.



Harry shrugged and laughed. \"Maybe they’ll think that it\'s about Draco or something, and won\'t connect me to it. However, I’ve never been that lucky. Not like they even know I can sing or anything...\"



Draco\'s right brow lifted in surprise. \"You still haven\'t told them? You\'ve had almost two months to tell them, Anton. Well, maybe they’ll figure it out, and you won\'t have to tell them. However, you probably should have told them before the concert.\"



Harry shrugged again. \"I guess I was going for the surprise angle, really. Surprise, I am a musician, I can sing, and play the bass guitar.” Harry chuckled as he grinned at Draco.



Draco snorted. \"Well, hopefully they’ll think it\'s a good surprise to them. You should hear the rumors floating around about you; they are getting more ridiculous every day. The most popular seems to be your some graduate student who’s doing us a favor. I have no idea where these rumors come from. I think the rumor mill is working over time since they have no clue who you are.\"



Harry laughed. \"Yeah, my favorite is that I’m Snape. Really, I think I look much better than Snape, and any band that had Snape in it would probably scare off the audience. He still makes students cry on a daily basis.\"



Harry\'s comment made the whole group laugh, and Wayne spoke up with a snicker. \"Yeah, though he has been looking a bit better this term. I think he must be using a tooth whiting charm or something. Maybe that’s why people think you’re Snape. He\'s been trying to improve his appearance some; maybe he has his eye on someone. I even saw Professor Lupin glancing at him oddly the other day. Maybe they’re dating or something?\"



Harry blinked. \"Are Snape and Professor Lupin even gay? I guess it is possible; it would make things interesting around here. It\'s not as if we have ever seen any of the professors with anyone. I wonder if any of them are even married.\"



Everyone shrugged. Harry doubted that most of the students at Hogwarts wondered if the professors had their own private lives. The only ones young enough to worry about were Professors Lupin and Snape, and even then, well it wasn’t mentioned. Just as someone was about to comment on Harry\'s question however, there was a knock on the door, and Professor Dumbledore stuck his head in, his blue eyes twinkling brightly. \"Gentleman, it\'s time.\"



The group grabbed their instruments and placed them on the platform, and a moment later, they appeared on stage in the Great Hall. Several minutes later, they heard their band\'s name announced, and the group walked out the door and calmly up the side stairs to the platform. The long table that normally held the teachers\' dinners was now along the far wall, and the area made a nice stage. Draco said a few words to the crowd, introducing the members of the band before they began their first number.



By the time the band got to Harry\'s songs, Harry had forgotten all about his worries and his friends. The crowd loved their songs, his songs; the cheering after each song was getting louder as the excitement built into a feverish pitch. Soon the stage lights lowered, and a spotlight appeared on Harry, it was time for his two special songs. Harry sat on a stool and began to play his first song, One.




Affirmative may be justified

Take from one give to another

The goal is to be unified

Take my hand, be my brother

The payment silenced the masses

Sanctified by oppression

Unity took a backseat

Sliding further into regression



One, Oh One, the only way is one

One, Oh One, the only way is one

I feel angry… I feel helpless

Want to change the world

I feel violent… I feel alone

Don\'t try and change my mind, no



Society blinded by color

Why hold down one to raise another

Discrimination now on both sides

Seeds of hate blossom further

The world is heading for mutiny

When all we want, is unity

We may rise and fall, but in the end

We meet our fate together



One, Oh One, the only way is one

One, Oh One, the only way is one



I feel angry… I feel helpless

Want to change the world

I feel violent… I feel alone

Don\'t try and change my mind... no.



I feel angry… I feel helpless

Want to change the world

I feel violent… I feel alone

Don\'t try and change my mind no



Ohhhhhhh…

Yeah…

Ohhhhhhh…

Yeah…

I feel angry… I feel helpless

Want to change the world yeah

I feel violent… I feel alone

Don\'t try and change my mind no



I feel angry… I feel helpless

Want to change the world yeah

I feel violent… I feel alone

Don\'t try and change my mind



After a few moments, the clapping died down, and Harry began pouring his heart and soul into his very personal song, Pawn, his rich baritone voice carrying through the Hall as the band played along with him. The audience seemed captivated by both of the songs, and the Hall was so quiet that all the talking had died down to complete silence. No one knew who the young man that was on the stage was, but they somehow felt like they intimately knew him now. The song gave them all a glimpse into a tortured soul, and the crowd ate it up. When the last note of the song ended, the Hall was completely silent. No one moved, no one talked, and some had their mouths hanging open, while several had fainted. Harry looked up from his guitar, and smiled weakly, and suddenly the crowed erupted into loud cheers. The moment had passed, and the crowd had finally found their voices, there were many whispering about the mysterious singer again.



Harry looked over to Dumbledore, and instead of finding a mad or upset look on his face; he saw a look of sorrow and understanding. Harry had a feeling that the next time Dumbledore had something important to tell him, that he wouldn\'t have to beg for an answer. Dumbledore finally seemed to understand that Harry was suffering from the lack of information, which was the whole point of the song, really. The group played a few more songs, and their concert was over. When they were finally able to slip back into the back room again, they let out a sigh of relief. Their first public concert was a success, and they couldn\'t be happier.



As Draco grinned as he collapsed on a nearby chair. \"Anton, I can\'t believe you stunned them into silence. Did you see how many girls fainted?\"



Harry chuckled nervously. \"Yeah, I looked up and thought they hated it... then bang! I still can\'t believe that they liked it that much.\"



Draco smirked. \"I can. It\'s a great song, Anton. It makes them swoon because you get so lost in it. They see the tortured soul, the moody artist who just wants to be understood. It\'s a good thing, trust me.\"



Harry nodded. \"Yeah, you could say that. Well, should we mingle, or should we disappear and go back to our common rooms? I don\'t know if I’m in the mood to give autographs or anything. I feel sort of wiped out.\"



Draco shrugged. \"We can go if you want to slip out. Go get some sleep; you deserve it. We will see you at the next practice, okay?\"



Harry smiled. \"Okay, see you then.\"



Harry waited for a few moments as Draco, Blaise, and Wayne walked out the door to the Great Hall. When the door had shut behind them, Harry walked over to a sconce mounted on the wall, and turned it slightly. Suddenly, a secret passage appeared and Harry stepped inside. It was great having the Marauder’s Map. He would have never known that there was a secret teacher’s passage to this room unless it had been on there. Moments later, he took off his disguise, and snuck back into the Great Hall as Harry Potter. Fortunately, most everyone was too wrapped up in the piped music to notice that he hadn\'t been there all along.



Just as he made it to where his friends were sitting, Hermione was looking at him oddly. \"Oh, there you are, Harry. I know you hate dancing, but you could have come to the concert.\"



Harry chuckled and shrugged slightly. \"I don\'t hate dancing \'Mione, I just have never learned to do it.\"



Hermione nodded. \"You missed a great concert though, Harry. I hope we get to hear them again soon. I am surprised. Malfoy has a great voice, and that guy that no one seems to know, is really good too. Lavender and Parvati fainted after one of the songs he sang. It was a little embarrassing for them, since they fell into a vat of punch.” Hermione snickered softly.



Harry snorted. \"Really? Oh, I would like to have seen that, at least. Maybe it washed off some of their makeup.\"



Hermione gasped. \"Harry! Really!\"



Harry laughed. \"Oh, come on, Hermione. I know you think the same thing...\"



Hermione scowled. \"Perhaps, but I don\'t say it out loud where they might be able to hear it.\"



Harry winked. \"Oh, well. If they heard me, I guess I’ll have to apologize. However, I doubt they did, since they seem to be surrounding Malfoy, chattering away.\"



Hermione looked over in Malfoy\'s direction, and noticed that Harry was right. \"I suspect they are trying to find out what happened to the mysterious bassist. Their major rumor of the mystery guy being Professor Snape was shot down, since he was scowling at the stage for at least the last half of the concert. After one of the songs, Snape suddenly stood up and left the room. I think the guy called it Pawn.\"



Harry blinked. \'Snape left after he heard Pawn? Oh great… I bet he figured out who I was, and by morning, I will have my friends all over me, upset because I didn\'t tell them I was in Draco\'s band.\'




Harry shrugged, leaning forward to whisper in Hermione\'s ear. \"Maybe he had a meeting to go to?\"



Hermione cocked her head slightly to the left. \"Hmm, it is possible... though I didn\'t see him clutching his arm like he normally does.\"



Harry was doomed. \"Okay, well... it was just a thought.\"



Hermione nodded. \"Well, it\'s time to go back to our common room. You are coming, Harry?\"



Harry smiled weakly. \"Yeah, I’m right behind you.\"



While Harry and Hermione walked back to the common room, Ron was walking Daphne back to her own before joining them. The moment they got inside, Harry headed to the stairs, and went up to bed. He would worry about Snape in the morning.

*~*~*~*


The next morning, as luck would have it, was a double Potions class. As Harry, Hermione, and Ron made their way toward the classroom, Harry tried not to look nervous. The class went by much quieter than normal. Snape lectured mostly on the properties of certain ingredients that they had used in a potion in the previous class. As the class was about to end, Snape cleared his throat. \"Mr. Potter. Please stay behind; I would like a word with you.\"



Harry gulped. \'I should have known...\' \"Yes, Professor.\"



The class quickly emptied out, Hermione giving Harry a puzzled look since he had been taking notes, and paying attention in class. Sitting quietly at his desk, Harry waited for the fall out. What shocked Harry though, was the look on Snape\'s face; he didn’t appear to be upset at all.



\"Mr. Potter. I know that we have not gotten along in the past, and I know that fault lies mostly with me. I am not one to ask for forgiveness, nor offer apologies. Many of our past troubles have come about for many reasons, however, many things I did, was intended to help keep you out of trouble. However, that is not what we are here to discuss today. Professor Dumbledore has asked me to help you yet again, as if I did not already have enough to do. As someone who has been at the Dark Lord\'s side for longer than you have been alive, I know him better than most. As any good spy would have done, I have been studying the Dark Lord since he resurrected a body and came back to power.\"



\"Professor Dumbledore has requested that I help you learn his weaknesses, and his strengths. The time is coming when he will no longer hold back his plans. In fact, the Dark Lord’s plans are becoming wilder each day, and he is beginning to start killing anyone who does not follow, and carry out his plans to the letter, which is most of the time, impossible. The few that he does not kill, are ripped apart by cutting hexes, and are mangled almost beyond repair by the time they are taken from his presence. He is quickly loosing support, but the Death Eaters are afraid that he would go after their families...\"



\"Professor, is... is that what really happened to Malfoy\'s father?” Harry asked quietly. He already knew part of the answer, but he wanted to see if Draco was telling the truth.



Startled by the question, Snape gave a quick nod. \"Yes, that was part of the reason. The Dark Lord was displeased with Lucius when his son refused to become a Death Eater, and because Lucius was telling the Ministry the locations of some of the Dark Lord\'s bankrolls and hideouts. The Dark Lord was loosing money with each bargaining chip that Lucius played. Lucius was trying to bargain his way out of Azkaban, and the other Death Eaters executed with him were just additional benefits. He said he had no use for followers that could not follow him. He is quite imbalanced, and thought they all had betrayed him. I doubt that is true, but it left his son alone. I will be training him as well, and I would like to do it at the same time, but I know you two aren\'t the best of friends...\"



Harry smiled. \"It\'s okay, Professor. I think we will get along well enough to train properly.\"



Professor Snape smirked. \"Yes, I see you already get along quite well, Mr. Potter. That was an interesting song you sung last night.\"



Harry gulped. \"Excuse me? I... I... don\'t sing, Professor...\"



Snape\'s brow rose. \"I am not stupid, Mr. Potter. However, I could be persuaded not to tell Mr. Malfoy who you are, for the answer to a question.\"



Harry glared slightly. \"What kind of question?\"



Describing Snape’s face would be impossible; it morphed into what looked to be a half smile - half sneer. \"Not a hard question, Mr. Potter. One I think you can answer quite easily.\"



Harry sighed. \"What is it, Professor?\"



Snape grinned. \"It\'s a question with several parts, but it all has to do with your new found talents. I might even be able to tell you something you might not have known as well.\"



\"Please get on with it, Sir...” Harry said unconvincingly.



\"First, how many of the songs last night were written by you?\" Snape asked.



\"About four of them, and if one of your other questions is wither or not I wrote Pawn, the answer is yes,” Harry replied.



\"My, My, Mr. Potter. I had no idea that you had such talent. Though, it does kind of run in your family, so I shouldn\'t be too surprised,\" said Snape.



Harry blinked in confusion. \"Runs in my family, what are you talking about, Professor? No one told me either of my parents had any musical talents...\"



Snape chuckled, the sound startling Harry so that he almost fell out of his seat. \'Snape never laughed!\' Harry thought worriedly.



\"Well, I suppose neither Lupin nor Black told you then. I shouldn\'t be surprised. They\'ve probably forgotten, or they didn\'t know at all. Anyway, I used to hide and listen to your mother when we were in school. She played the violin, with about as much passion as you play your guitar. I don\'t even know if Potter or the rest of them knew about it. However, my downfall was listening to her. Black saw me coming out of the same room he saw Lily enter, and I guess he thought something was going on between us, you see, she was already dating Potter then. That was shortly before Lupin almost killed me.\"



Harry looked stunned. \"S-so, you were nearly killed because of a misunderstanding involving my mum?” Harry asked in disbelief. “I...I\'m sorry, Professor.\"



Snape scoffed. \"I never blamed your mother for that. My re-payment was that she stopped talking to Black, and even your father for a while. Dumbledore wouldn’t expel Black. Like your father, Black was one of Dumbledore\'s Golden Boys; he couldn\'t just expel them. Then, I was sworn to secrecy until after school was over.\"



Harry laughed softly, but then frowned. \"I bet he was mad. Although, why would she stop talking to my father? He saved you, didn\'t he?\"



Snape nodded. \"She thought it was a joint plot to get me killed or bitten. Werewolves are quite vicious when they don\'t take the potion, as you well know. Back then, Wolfsbane was not available. It was after we all were out of school; that it came into existence. However, Lupin didn\'t take it until he came here to teach. I think the main reason she was so angry, is that Black could have gotten Lupin killed if he had bitten me or worse killed me.\"



Harry nodded. \"Professor, can I ask why you revealed that Professor Lupin was a werewolf? I know you set the essay before the night at the Shrieking Shack, but Hermione is really smart, she was able to figure it out where not many did. I can only guess, but I would say that was to get back at him for attacking you when you were in school. Yet, I wonder if that’s the only reason. I mean; was part of your reason because he forgot to drink his potion.”



Snape scowled. \"Not that it is any of your business Potter, but it wasn’t just me. However, it was partly because of the potion incident. Lupin was careless, and put many lives in danger that night, and if you recall, it almost ended your life as well.\"



Harry frowned. \"It\'s not like he tried to do it on purpose, Professor. He was trying to save me from Pettigrew.\"



Snape sneered. \"I know that now, Potter. However, it didn\'t take long for word to spread about his condition. He returned to school all bloody since he’d gotten into a fight with Black. Normally, during that time of the month, Lupin locked himself away at Grimmauld Place, no threat to anyone. However, when he went after you, he forgot the most important thing. No matter how normal he is the rest of the month, on that night, he’s a monster. He would have killed you, or anyone else, without a moment\'s hesitation. Lupin could have killed our only chance to win this war; it was a risk that we couldn\'t take.



“When the staff announcements came in this year, and no one else would take the Defense job, I couldn\'t believe that the board allowed Dumbledore to call him back. Of course, this time he has an assistant to take over the three days surrounding the time of his change. The Board decided not to take chances with the safety of its students. Despite the fact that they were upset because Dumbledore didn\'t see fit to tell them of Lupin\'s condition the first time around, they agreed that he was the only possible candidate, given that they didn\'t want to give up one of their Aurors to take the post.\"



Harry nodded and sighed. \"I just hated it because I learned so much from him. The rest of our professors have been a joke, really. Quirrell always acted like he was afraid of everything, then we found out he had Voldemort literally in his head. Then, Lockhart was a ponce who couldn\'t cast spells correctly to save his life. Did you know that all his books are phony? He used memory charms on the people who actually did all those things.\"



Snape snorted. \"I always knew he wasn\'t that good at everything. I tried to tell Albus it was a mistake to hire him, but as usual, my words of wisdom were ignored.\"



Harry smirked. \"Crouch did at least teach me how to resist the Unforgivables. I hope that little bit of information is still a secret. Anyway, then of course, we have Umbridge, who was so full of herself that she thought that there was no possible reason we might need to defend ourselves. ‘Theory only, no practical,’ she said. How were any of us going to pass our O.W.L.s with only theory in DA? So, we got together and taught ourselves; and I\'d say our group faired better than the rest of the fifth years.\"



Snape sneered. \"Yes, I am quite well aware of your so called ‘secret’ group. It wasn\'t a secret, but then, the other professors were asked to try and turn a blind eye to its activities.\"



Harry blinked. \"Well, I guess that shouldn\'t surprise me. Dumbledore normally knows what is going on; the portraits tell him everything. I learned that a long time ago.\"



Snape agreed. \"Well, when Dumbledore told me about it, I already knew.” At the startled look he received from Harry, he went on to explain. “I heard Weasley talking about it a bit too loudly when the group started. I didn\'t know where it was meeting until after Dumbledore said anything though, and he gave me the job of keeping Filch away from that end of the castle.\"



Harry nodded. \"Anyway, what was your other question?\"



Snape seem to ponder this for a moment before responding. \"How did you persuade Mr. Malfoy into letting you into the band without letting him know who you are?\"



Harry smirked. \"Well, I just let my Slytherin side show. I told him he had no other options if he wanted to start a band now, instead of after school.\"



Snape\'s mask of indifference fell briefly, before it slid back into place. \"Slytherin side?\"



Harry smiled. \"Well, don\'t spread it around, but the Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin.\"



Snape looked startled. \"Hmm, that would have been interesting; there would have been no Golden Trio.\"



Harry\'s eyes glittered with mischief. \"Really, Professor? I bet it just would have had different members.\"



Snape feigned shock. \"Yes, I imagine so. You seem to inspire such feelings, much as your father once did. He always had the loyal friends. Well, except the one, of course.\"



Harry nodded, looking sad for a moment. \"Yeah, except him. As for my father, I wouldn\'t know. As I have told you numerous times, I am my own person.\"



Snape sneered. \"Yes, I suppose you are, Mr. Potter.\"

*~*~*~*


The next day, the band got together to discuss the concert and their next gig. Draco had talked to Madam Rosmerta after the concert, and she had graciously decided to allow them to play on Hogsmeade weekends as long as they kept up their studies.



\"So, she loved us, huh?\" Harry asked.



Draco nodded. \"Of course she did. She loved you especially, said you reminded her of someone she used to know growing up.” Draco raised an eyebrow and then grinned. \"Anyway, it seems everyone that I have talked to loved your song. I notice you are alive; did your friends not figure it out? Or did they not react as bad as you thought they would?\"



Harry chuckled softly. \"Well, if they haven\'t figured it out yet, they will soon. Once the lyrics sink in, it won\'t take long for them to figure it out.\"



Draco smirked. \"Well, it probably would be better to just tell them now, and get it over with.\"



Harry nodded and sighed softly. \"I know. I just like the feeling of having no one know who I am.\"



Draco looked down at the floor with the same sort of sad look on his face. \"I know how you feel. People either fear me because of my name, or hate me for my past behavior. Sometimes both.\"



Harry nodded. \"Yeah, I can understand that, too. Having people hate you or like you for things you have no control over isn\'t fun.\"



Draco smiled slightly. ’Well, isn\'t that a heck of a thing to bond over,’ Draco thought.

*~*~*~*


That night after the band practice, Hermione and Ron cornered Harry in the common room.
Harry sighed softly. \"If you want to talk to me, it can\'t be here, let\'s go somewhere else.\"



Hermione nodded. \"Well then, we can go to the Room of Requirement.\"



The three agreed, and turned to walk out the door. As they approached the Room of Requirement, Harry paced back and forth three times, thinking of a comfortable place to have a long conversation. Once inside, he had Hermione cast the Imperturbable Charm and a locking spell on the door before he sat down and looked at his two best friends.



\"Well, what is this about? I have a pretty good idea, but you will have to tell me what\'s wrong first,\" Harry said.



Hermione looked over at Ron, then back at Harry. \"We know you\'re in Draco\'s band, Harry. It took me a few days to figure it out, but I am pretty sure that you are this mysterious Anton guy.\"



Harry sighed and nodded. \"Yeah, I’m Anton. Though you can\'t tell anyone, please, you have to promise me!\"



\"But Harry,\" Hermione sputtered.



\"Hermione, I’m finally having fun! I am finally doing something that I love. I...I... don\'t know what I would do if it was taken away from me. Malfoy is actually quite funny once you get to know him. He\'s been nice to me the whole time. I know that doesn’t really make him a good person, but I just can\'t see what it hurts being in a band. No one knows but you, Dumbledore, and Snape. Oh, and get this, my mom used to be a great violin player! Snape told me so... I was shocked. He finally told me what caused his attack by Professor Lupin. He was listening to my mum play the violin one day, and Sirius caught him sneaking out. He thought something was going on between them, and decided to teach him a lesson! I still can\'t believe that he did that, but I guess he thought he was protecting mum.” Harry spoke excitedly, barely taking a breath between sentences.



Hermione looked at Ron and sighed softly. \"Harry, I understand you are having fun, but you know Malfoy will try to find out who you are sooner or later. Once he does, you won’t be in it anyway, though if he were smart, he wouldn\'t kick you out. You have a lot of talent that should be expressed, Harry. I just wish it hadn\'t taken so long for you to tell us that you even sang or played an instrument.\"



Harry hung his head. \"I\'m sorry, Hermione. I just wanted something for myself for a change. Something that was just mine... something that I could just be myself, and not have to put on some show. Everyone expects me to be the perfect little ‘Golden Boy’... but I\'m not. If Malfoy finds out, then he finds out. I won\'t quit, not now after everything is going so well for the rest of the band.\"



Ron blinked at his best mate, and finally spoke up. \"Harry, you\'re right. Since I started dating Daphne, Malfoy\'s been nice to me. It seems that they’re best friends, and she pretty much let me know that if I wanted to go out with her, I would have to be tolerant of him. He\'s actually been okay the little time I have spent around him. Daphne says that he has changed a lot since his dad died. I guess what I am trying to say is... just be careful. Even if he is nice now, he still has the Death Eaters after him, trying to kill him. Daphne told me he refused the Dark Mark over the summer.\"



Harry nodded. \"I know. He told me... he mentioned it one night at band practice. We talk about current events sometimes, especially when we are too tired to practice. We started writing a song together last week. It\'s going to be good, I think. We’re supposed to play at The Three Broomsticks next Hogsmeade weekend.\"



Hermione and Ron smiled. \"Well, we’ll have to make sure we’re there to cheer on Anton then,\" Hermione said. Through an unspoken agreement, the three stood, Hermione lowering the charms on the room, and the three went back to their common room to go to bed.

*~*~*~*


The days passed too slowly for Harry, but soon, it was almost time to meet his mysterious pen pal. It had been a struggle recently between thinking of his band and his pen pal. The letters, though frequent, were about down to a three a week frequency now. However, he had learned a lot about his pen pal over the last several weeks. What bugged Harry was that he felt like he knew him. All though he didn\'t come out and say it exactly, Caesius seemed, with each day, more familiar to him. He just couldn\'t quite put a finger on what was.



When Thursday night came, Harry was extremely nervous. Tomorrow night was the night he would meet Caesius; the night that Harry would finally meet the boy that he had slowly been falling for over the summer. The classes that day seemed to drag on, and Harry wondered when they would end. However, for the first time in years, he actually enjoyed Potions class. Professor Snape paired Harry up with Draco, who actually was being nice to him that day. It was the perfect end to the week, now if he could just not be so nervous tomorrow night.

*~*~*~*


Friday hit, bright and sunny, and Harry sat in the common room pondering who his pen pal could be. Harry had pretty much ruled out anyone in his own house. In fact, after the comments about Draco, Harry could narrow the writer of the letters to one house, Slytherin. Of course, quite a few people in that house had hurt him over the years, though he wondered if this wasn\'t some sort of trick to get information out of him. ‘No… I don\'t think anyone is that devious…it would have been in the Daily Prophet by now, if it had. The letters are nice and friendly… though, whoever it is, they seemed to know quite a bit about Draco Malfoy. Could Draco be writing me? He seemed to be really nice to me this year...’ Harry shook his head. ‘No, no matter what, I seriously doubt that what Caesius had said was true. Sure Draco didn\'t bother us half as much last year, but that didn\'t mean he had become… nice. Of course, who said that behind that “mask” he wears isn\'t a nice person. It could be possible couldn\'t it?’ Harry shrugged. ‘Stranger things have happened in my life…\'


*~*~*~*


That night, Harry got out his invisibility cloak and went to meet Caesius. The last time he had felt this nervous was in his fifth year when he was fighting Voldemort. ‘It\'s just a boy! You can handle this, Harry; don\'t get your knickers in a knot,’ Harry scolded himself as he climbed the steps. Harry was going to bring his map to the meeting, but he figured that it might not be such a good idea to have it with him again. Checking the map outside the dorm and tower quickly before he actually left, he noticed that Filch was in his office down near the dungeons, so he was safe for a while. As he opened the door to the tower and stepped inside, he looked around. Harry was normally late everywhere he went the majority of the time, but surprisingly, he was a few minutes early. He sat down in one of the chairs and sighed softly as he pulled his cloak into his lap.



Caesius was hiding in the shadows of the room when he saw Harry come in. Luckily, he was behind Harry, so he was able to sneak up behind him and slip his fingers over his eyes for a moment before Harry tried to jerk out of his grasp.



“Shhh… it\'s just me handsome,” Caesius purred in his ear.

*~*~*~*


Author Notes: Hello everyone! How did you like it? Don\'t forget to feed the author and muse! Review today! Please? *smiles*


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Songs:

1. One by Creed