In Dreams

Whee! Another chapter in a week. *ish proud* No, seriously. It’s hard to be in college trying to do 16 credits and keep up with all of the bunny attacks. *twitches* I can only hope they don’t consume me entirely. lol Anyway, I really need some feedback on this chapter as I have come to my first fork in the road, so to speak. I need some input to see where I should head with this. Oh, if you find any mistakes, please let me know... I beta-ed this rather quickly cause I was so excited to post it. Alright, here are some thanks to my first reviewers.

lacey weasley---> thanks a bunch! well here's the chapter for you, I hope it suits!

Eddie---> *blushes* thanks for the compliment! I'm flattered you are reading this and find it intriguing. not quite sure if this is a long enough chapter for ya, but there is some hefty stuff going on, so the content is pretty thick. enjoy!

EmZ---> thanks! hope you get my email so you can keep reading!

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Hermione stared at her Professor in utter shock. "Alive?" she replied weakly. It was as if her entire world was suddenly crumbling around her. In a way, knowing Voldemort wanted her dead was no news. She had, after all, fought against him openly at the Ministry. That and her relationship with Harry made her an important target. But knowing he wanted her alive... that was horrifying.

"Yes," he hissed, his upper lip curling. "Alive." His eyes never left hers as she stared into their depths. Even in her moment of brief panic she was able to discern something within him so subtle that she wasn't even sure it was really there. What she thought she briefly glimpsed was fear. Fear for the annoying Gryffindor know-it-all who had tormented his very existence as a member of the 'golden trio' for the past six years. In truth, he knew what her fate would be if Voldemort was intent on claiming her.

"But, why?"

"We aren't entirely certain..." Albus spoke in apparent calm, which vexed Hermione who felt like screaming. For some reason her hands were beginning to ache, and when she looked down she realized that she had been gripping the arms of the chair so tightly that her knuckles were white. She let go and looked back up to the Headmaster taking a deep breath to calm herself. "It appears that Voldemort wishes to have you for his next raids, and possibly for the war as well. He has decided that you would be an extremely valuable asset in his attempts to claim his reign over the Wizarding world."

Hermione stared blankly. She was beginning to regain some of her old composure, and the next words that came out of her mouth sounded much braver than she actually felt. "Well, he will be sorely disappointed then, as there is no way I would ever consider joining him." In hind sight, she realized this statement was her suffering from momentary ignorance. If Voldemort wanted you, he would have you, alive or dead.

She crossed her arms across her chest in a very determined manner, something she often did when she was berating Ron for doing something completely out of order. It had become her sort of Head Girl insignia which most of the first and second years were entirely too familiar with. Seeing this, Severus simply scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. As if she had a choice in the matter. If Voldemort wanted her, she was already his, whether she was willing or not.

"I'm afraid you have little choice in the matter. It seems that Voldemort expects Professor Snape to bring you to him." For once the Headmaster appeared as if all his years were finally catching up with him. He allowed a wrinkled hand to pass briefly across his forehead, massaging his temples before continuing. "He has been instructed to place you under the Imperious Curse and deliver you to him before the year is out." Hermione's eyes went wide with shock. She had witnessed first hand the disturbing effects of the Imperious Curse. The person had no control over anything and could be forced to do some pretty horrific things (which in Voldemort's case would most likely include murdering innocent people). In fact, thanks to Barty Crouch (under the guise of Mad-eye Moody), she had experienced the curse herself in her fourth year as part of her Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It was definitely something she wasn't eager to try again in the near future... or ever again for that matter.

"Of course, this is entirely impossible, as well as against Wizarding laws. Therefore, we have only two options." Albus gave Severus a fleeting glance before continuing on. "Either Severus fails to bring you before the Dark Lord, which will most definitely result in his untimely death..." At this Severus snorted in contempt. If Albus truly believed that he couldn't survive the anger of the Dark Lord, then obviously the man hadn't been listening to half of his accounts over the years. But deep down, he knew that the aged wizard was right. However, the Headmaster pointedly ignored his fellow professor's disdain and continued. "Or..."

"Or what?" Hermione asked. She was on the edge of her seat, waiting for the words she wished would never have to be spoken. Her brown eyes glittered strangely, as if she was seeing and hearing something else entirely.

"Or you will join Voldemort's inner circle."

After a moment of deafening silence, Hermione whispered.

"Is... is there no other way? I mean, couldn't you do something about this? I mean, I'm sure Professor Snape could find some other way to..." But Snape had lost his patience. Girls.

"Miss Granger, please hold your tongue!" Severus demanded silkily. His voice was quiet, but it still had the effect of silencing her immediately. "Under normal circumstances this would be an entirely ridiculous request. However, the Headmaster seems to think you are quite capable of accomplishing such a feat. He believes it will aid the Order in more ways you could possibly understand, as well as helping to keep Voldemort convinced of my loyalties. Something which he believes have been left rather wanting of late." Hermione simply stared at the towering man blankly. She had no idea what he meant. Surely the Dark Lord wasn't stupid enough to fail to realize that she had no desire whatsoever to be a part of his quest for power. "The Headmaster has rather forcefully requested that I begin giving you Occlumency lessons at once to prepare you for this. It won't do to have you revealing both our identities if he manages to sift around in the useless assortment of details that litter that brain of yours. And I would also like it to be known that I am doing this to help the Order. So as far as your fate goes Miss Granger, I couldn't care less."

Hermione had known better than to interrupt her Professor while he gave his rather rude speech. But his last few remarks had cut deep, causing her blood to begin to boil (aided by the malicious sneer he gave during his conclusion). Her cheeks reddened drastically, and her mouth became a thin line that could easily rival the one often displayed by Professor McGonagall.

To her surprise (as well as the everyone else's), Hermione went against the very essence of her being and retorted, "Well that is obvious, as it seems to me you are only trying to save your own ass." As soon as the words were spoken she slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes round as saucers. She was immediately overcome with guilt and fear. What had she just done?

Severus' face was unreadable. In his deepest inner workings, those words had stung, though he'd never admit it. He knew he wasn't a good person, but he sure as hell didn't need to be reminded of that by a simple girl, especially one whom he was trying to help for once. Fine. If she wanted to do this the hard way, then two could play at this game. Miss Granger had every reason to be afraid now...

"Indeed. Well, I expect you to meet me in my office every Tuesday and Thursday at eight o'clock sharp for your lessons." Something in the way he emphasized the word 'lessons' caused Hermione an immense sense of foreboding. She almost wished he had screamed at her instead of this immeasurable calm he was employing. A furious Snape was something she was familiar with, but this cryptic version was something that caused her an immense sense of foreboding.

Severus turned to Albus with a look of modesty. "I think I will return to my quarters now, I have a few things I must catch up on. Thank you Albus." Before the Headmaster could say anything, the tall man had turned on his heel and made it to the door in three easy strides, not bothering to give the girl so much as a final glance.

And as Severus exited the room, his robes billowing mysteriously behind him, he couldn't help thinking to himself how much he would enjoy discovering every humiliating detail about Hermione Granger's life. That girl probably had more skeletons in her closet than she let on. So she thought she knew him did she? Well, we'll just see about that. Let the games begin...

***

Hermione had promised the Headmaster not to breathe a word of what had conspired that day to anyone, and that included Harry and Ron. Unfortunately for her, this proved rather difficult. They would not stop bothering her about it, Ron trying to catch her off guard and wheedle an answer from her (much like he did when he was trying to find out who her mystery date was for the Yule Ball fourth year). Boys.

Finally reaching the end of her tether during breakfast on Tuesday morning, she decided to give them some sort of explanation.

"Fine! If you really have to know what it is about, then I guess I'll tell you," she sighed in mock defeat. At this Ron shot Harry a look of triumph. Harry, however, looked skeptical. He'd been in Hermione's shoes too many times to believe that what she was about to tell them was entirely truthful. He knew if she had made a solemn promise of silence to the Headmaster, she would take that to the grave. "Professor Dumbledore and I were discussing the possibility of me beginning an apprenticeship with Professor McGonagall when I graduate. But since it isn't a sure thing, I didn't want to say anything." She knew this was a really pathetic cover attempt, but she couldn't think of anything better.

Ron looked slightly disappointed. He had hoped for some juicy details about something that was going on within the Order. Harry simply eyed his friend for a moment and went back to his lunch in silence, his doubts confirmed. Hermione could tell he was hurt that she wasn't telling him everything, but she had promised. Still, she hated lying to him. Bollocks. Besides, that kind of information would only put him and everyone involved in even greater danger. No, she was convinced she had done the right thing.

Every class that day seemed to go by at an amazing rate. It was amazing how time sped up when there was something approaching that you truly dreaded. At the same time, it was somewhat of a welcome change. The past few weeks had felt like slow and steady torture, the days dragging on exhaustingly.

As she sat down to dinner that evening, she thought about what she would be doing in only two hours time. Her first 'lesson' with Snape. Although her Potions Professor was unaware of it, Hermione was almost excited at the prospect of being taught such an ancient and useful art. It was a gift few but the most talented could master, and it was this that kept her from being completely petrified. Glancing over to the top of the Great Hall, she looked thoughtfully at Professor Snape in all his greasy glory. He was sneering into his plate, obviously vexed at the animated conversation taking place between Madam Hooch and Professor Sprout who sat on either side of him. Hermione couldn't help feeling a tiny bit of satisfaction at his obvious discomfort, feeling he might deserve every bit of it. At the same time, another part of her just knew that this would only serve to sour his mood further before their meeting tonight.

Feeling the careful scrutiny acutely, Severus lifted his head slightly, his hooked nose protruding from behind the curtain of black hair. Seeking out the culprit, he momentarily locked gazes with Granger. He noticed with slight smug amusement as she blushed noticeably at being caught staring at him. But before she could escape his penetrating mental hold on her, he let a sick smile cross his features. Her eyes widened in apparent fear, and she immediately turned back to her plate in silence. Severus silently congratulated himself on another job well done. Secretly, he felt if there was an award for instilling fear in students, he deserved full merits. Indeed, he thought with some humor, it was probably one of the few things Miss Granger couldn't obtain top marks at...

***

Five minutes before eight, Hermione stopped outside of Professor Snape's office. She looked at her watch and smiled at her ability to always maintain punctuality, one of the many things she prided herself in. Taking a deep calming breath, she lifted her hand and knocked softly on the door. There was silence from within the office, and she briefly wondered if maybe she had gotten the time wrong. She knocked again, a bit louder this time. Through the door came an exasperated voice.

"Come in unless you would rather stand knocking on my door all night."

Opening the door cautiously, she peeked in to see Snape shelfing an ancient stone basin which emitted a soft silvery glow briefly throughout the room before he secured the lid. Dumbledore's Pensieve... She recognized it immediately. She couldn't help wondering what memories he was hiding from her, but her inquisitive nature wasn't anything like Harry's. She was quite intent on the task at hand, and was ready to prove herself to her skeptical Professor. She wasn't top of her class for nothing.

Severus turned around, fixing his student with a piercing gaze. He noticed she looked rather nervous, but held somewhat of a defiant manner at the moment. Probably itching to prove herself no doubt. What an arrogant showoff. Well, she would certainly learn something tonight that she wasn't likely soon to forget, and he'd make sure of that.

He gestured to the seat across from his desk and continued watching her as she sat slowly and met his gaze. He remained standing, something he had grown accustomed to doing over the years as a means of intimidation. He found it was a very effective method of getting his point across without argument.

"Before we begin, there are a few things I wish to address first." At this Hermione nodded solemnly. Always the attentive student, she had already begun taking mental notes. "First, I don't want you repeating any of the ridiculous antics that Potter displayed when I was attempting to teach him Occlumency. And that includes taking uninvited peeks into the Pensieve." His lip curled at the memory. She remained silent, knowing that she was supposed to be listening and not talking. "Second, Occlumency is a difficult art to master, one which I highly doubt anyone in this school could possibly excel at. Yes, Miss Granger, that includes you." He had noticed the sudden movement she had made as she prepared to argue against this statement. Before she could utter a word, he held up an impatient hand, watching as her mouth snapped shut. "Finally, whatever happens during these instructions is never to be discussed outside of this room. I am still your Professor and I expect to be treated as such at all times." He stressed these final words. Hermione would have thought these rather unnecessary, except she realized she had acted rather rudely to him in the Headmaster's office...

Severus stepped from behind his desk and motioned for Hermione to stand. Once she was out of the way, he gave his wand a quick flick causing the desk and chairs to disappear. With the office cleared, there seemed to be more space, something Hermione acknowledged with some relief. At least she didn't have to be too close to him. She looked up, waiting for his next instructions. When she met his gaze she was surprised to find that instead of the usual sneer he wore permanently, he was giving her a calculating look. However, a moment later the smirk was back in place.

"Well, I suppose we should get this over with," he said in bored tones. "Stand over there and face me. I'm certain you know how to defend yourself," though judging by the look he was giving her, he seemed to think it highly unlikely. "Okay, I want you to clear your mind. Are you ready?"

Hermione gulped. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and braced herself for the spell. "I'm ready." Her tone was defiant, she was going to show him that she wasn't just a silly girl. She was ready to prove that she was prepared to face Voldemort.

"Alright, on the count of three. One... two... three. Legilimens!" He had caught her off guard, too quick for her to get the opportunity to cast any sort of defense spell.

Severus was suddenly hit with an onslaught of memories. There was a little frizzy-haired girl of probably only eight years old. She was sitting next to the bed of a dying boy who looked only a few years younger than her. He felt only confused emotions emitted through the memory. The boy gave the girl one last weakened smile and passed on. In that last glimpse Severus had noticed something. He had the same brown eyes as the little girl.

Before Severus could think on this further, another flash of images invaded his mind though they were too quick for him to dwell upon. Hermione's unfortunate tooth incident, the Yule Ball, and her acceptance letter as Head Girl. Then they shifted, he saw a girl. At least, that's what it looked like, except there was something terribly wrong with it. It was wearing a Hogwart's uniform, but strangely enough resembled an enormous cat. Then he realized he was looking at a reflection in a bathroom mirror. It was Granger! She was all evidence of a Polyjuice Potion gone horribly awry. However, before anything else could happen, Severus felt himself flying through the air and landing flat on his back.

Severus had forgotten she was a powerful witch, and in this he had let down his guard. Very few people could resist Legilimens with such force once another has already entered the mind. Upon reflection though, he wasn't overly surprised. Of course she would be good at this, she excelled in everything else... Ugh, what's wrong with me? Must've hit my head or something. But he had gotten what he wanted. He had proof from Granger herself that she had stolen from his private stores and brewed an illegal Polyjuice Potion. Despite the impressive return attack she had managed, he had a strange sense of triumph. He looked up at the girl standing across from him. Her face was pale with apprehension.

"P-Professor..." she began. She was shaking in apparent fear. He had seen her break about fifty school rules in that one memory. She wasn't stupid enough to hope that he wouldn't figure that out, and by the look on his face her fears were more than confirmed.

Severus rose to his feet and brushed himself off with dignity. "Well, Miss Granger. That was quite informative..." He looked at her with a knowing eyebrow raised. For some odd reason he couldn't be angry with her though. Had it been Potter, he would have been more than thrilled at deducting every house point for the next fifty years, but knowing she had brewed that immensely difficult potion at such a young age was truly impressive. Mind you, she had made the horrible mistake of adding animal hair to it. She should have known better. "Are we ready to try again?"

Hermione stared at her Professor in shock. Wasn't he going to be angry? No yelling? No point deductions? Not even a single detention? "Yes," was all she managed to reply, feeling as if she had just escaped from a dangerous snake pit.

"Alright. One... two... three." As he shouted the spell, he saw the defiance in her eyes. Before he was able to firmly grasp a memory, she had cast a shielding charm, causing the spell the backfire.

Hermione was suddenly swept into Snape's memories. She watched as Severus stood within Voldemort's inner circle. "I'm not happy Severus... not happy at all." A cold voice that she recognized chilled her marrow. "Crucio!" But instead of feeling to pain of the spell, she was jerked into another memory. A little boy with black hair stood alone at a fresh grave. It was raining gently, but tears still made their way down his face. Another second and she was in a different memory. One of Voldemort's raids. Muggles were running in every direction, screaming in abject terror. Suddenly, a woman appeared, and he grabbed her. She noticed as another Death Eater watched closely to make sure Severus was doing what was expected of him. Lucius Malfoy no doubt. A pale hand reached out and tore the clothing from the woman as her screams deafened her captor. "I'm sorry..." he whispered.

"NO!" Severus yelled in horror. They both lay gasping for breath on the cold stone of the office, staring at each other in wide-eyed shock. Neither spoke, too overcome by what they had both just seen. However, as Severus began to feel the impact of what had just happened, he realized just how bad the situation was. He looked to the stricken girl in front of him, who looked as if she was about to be sick. "Miss Granger, I..." but before he could explain Hermione had jumped to her feet and rushed out of the room.

Hermione bolted blindly through the halls, her mind racing quicker that her feet. She didn't come to a halt until she reached the corridor to the third floor and simply couldn't run anymore. She leaned against the wall, her chest heaving and lungs burning. Tears were streaming down her face unnoticed. She couldn't believe what she had just seen. Snape had raped that woman, and she had almost seen it happen. Deep down Hermione knew that he had to do these things to keep up appearances, but that didn't make it any less disturbing. No, at the moment the only thing that Snape seemed to be to her was a monster.

***

Back in his office, Severus sat with his face in his hands. How could he have let this happen? He thought he had emptied everything in the Pensieve. He shook his head in grief. Nobody else should have seen that... having to experience that over again was bad enough, but to have an innocent child experience that as well? He sat up and heaved a sigh. No, Severus... she is no longer a child. Tomorrow he would have to have a word with her. She would have to continue her lessons or it would be his head. He would have to make her understand. Being a part of Voldemort's inner circle would mean much worse than this, and it would be better if she was aware of that sooner rather than later. When the time came, she would have to be strong. He only hoped she could find a way to forgive him. He needed her to be able to trust him, because when she was finally brought to Voldemort, he would be the only one who would be able to keep her safe. Bloody hell... it just keeps getting better doesn't it.

***

Hermione lay in bed staring at the canopy above her. After the initial shock of what she had seen, her analytical brain had kicked in as she realized that Professor Snape had been forced to do those things. He didn't have a choice, and now she didn't have one either. She would be thrown into this same world of pain and fear. Alone. No, not alone... he would be there with her. They would only have each other. It was in this moment that Hermione realized the only person she could depend on now was Severus Snape. She would have to trust him completely. In fact, her life was entirely in his hands. Well isn't this just dandy.