The Beginning of The Journey

Remus blinked his eyes open and was no longer in the bed Katja had tucked him into. He was in Godric\'s Hollow, but it was before. He stood up from the grass and leaned against the tree - that same tree, just with no scar - and watched in amazement as Lily and James came around the corner of the house - the house was still there. Remus grinned and ran toward them, opening his arms as though to embrace them, and was stopped by an outstretched hand and a warning shake of Lily\'s head.

Remus stopped, puzzled, and stood there looking at them both. James spoke then, and his voice sounded distinctly muffled, as though speaking through a blanket. \"Take care of him, Remus. He\'s more important then even he knows - and tell him, remind him we love him.\" Lily smiled sadly, and Remus opened his mouth to say something, and they both faded from view.

Remus felt tears stinging his eyes, and wiped absently at his face. He began walking, almost unable to see straight, and when he happened to look around him again he was in the room - but it wasn\'t. All around him were the destroyed remnants of that fateful day, the shell of the house, the people running around frantically - yet in the middle of it all stood the veil. He walked, unseen, into the center of the confusion and destruction, and didn\'t stop until he was next to the veil. His heart surged angrily as he thought of how unfairly Sirius had been torn from him, and it was then he heard a familiar chuckle.

He whipped around, tears now coursing down his face, and was greeted by a familiar grin, one which had been ripped away from him. \"Hello, Moony,\" Sirius spoke as though he were extremely far away, and his voice, while distinctly his, was muffled and faint.

The tears came faster, and he went to embrace Sirius, but again was held back by an outstretched hand. \"Moony, you can\'t. I\'m sorry.\" Sirius\' face was sad, but his eyes had a small fire burning in them, and Remus knew right then this wasn\'t merely a dream.

Sirius crossed the few steps separating them, and skimmed his hand just on the outside of Remus\' cheek. Remus felt a small breath of cold air, but nothing else. \"Why now, Padfoot? How can you come to me now? Why not before?\"

Sirius sighed, and a shiver went down Remus\' back. \"I wasn\'t strong enough Moony, even now I struggle. And the closeness to this much Old Magic helps strengthen me.\" He waved his hand around him, and suddenly they were in the forests surrounding Hagen\'s house. \"I have things I need to say, and that you need to hear.\"

Sirius shimmered for a moment, fading in and out - blurring at the edges, and then pulsed with a strange light for a moment before everything came back into focus. \"I watch you, and Harry - I watch all of you. Not all the time, and not even most of the time, but I watch enough to assure myself.\"

Remus blinked and nodded, not wanting to interrupt at all.

Suddenly the two of them were standing underneath a tree - that same tree, just with no scar - and Sirius smiled fondly at him. \"I know you\'re with Sniv...Severus, and I have seen how much you both care for each other.\"

Remus spoke softly then,\"Love.\"

Sirius grinned and shook his head softly. \"Yes, how much you love each other.\" His face saddened a bit, and he looked hard at Remus. \"And when I promised you forever, I didn\'t mean to break it, Moony.\"

Remus nodded slowly, unable to speak.

Sirius ran his hand through his hair, in a gesture so desperately alive it brought fresh tears to Remus\' eyes. \"Look, Moony, I haven\'t much time...and I need to say this. I love you. I always have, and now I always will. I\'ve watched you with him, laughing sometimes, talking - working together. He\'s a good man, Remus. He\'s good for you. He loves you, and he\'ll take care of you. And I\'m alright with that now. Things are different where I am, you can see all of time as though it were one page instead of a whole book. I see things now that before I would have never let myself see.\"

Remus smiled through his tears and nodded, a lump in his throat making a reply impossible.

\"I\'m going to have to go now, Moony. I think I can manage one more visit before you leave this place,\" Sirius motioned with his hand again, and they were once again in the forest. \"When you wake up, write your letter to Severus, and don\'t let him slip away and well - don\'t push him away because of me, Moony.\"

Remus replied in a strangled voice. \"I never got to say good-bye to you...\"

Sirius smiled weakly and shook his head. \"You never had to say good-bye to me, Moony. Never good-bye. I never left, not really. Our time together was done. Severus was always there for you, and fate deemed it was your time with him now - forever. Relive the joy of the good years with him. Share them with Severus, don\'t lock that away. Don\'t hide. Love never ends, it grows, and encompasses more. You\'ll end up killing all the love you have inside if you don\'t let yourself know that, Moony.\"

Sirius started to fade, as did the scene around him, until he found himself standing next to his bed, looking down at the slumbering form of Severus. He leaned down and ran his finger softly on his lovers cheek, and was startled to hear a laugh he knew so well, though he could no longer see him, he could feel Sirius\' presence. He felt the ghost of a breeze blew across his neck, and a voice whisper in his ear. \"Let yourself love him completely, Moony. Don\'t hold back because you\'re afraid to lose him. Thats not the way to live life...and Moony, when you wake up, make sure you write Harry a letter as well, let him know how much we love him, and how we still watch out for him.\" And the breeze and the words faded, as did the sleeping man before him.

Remus blinked his eyes open and was momentarily blinded by the sunlight streaming into the room, and for a moment it was years ago, and it was like no time had passed at all. Katja finished opening up the curtains and turned a smiling face to Remus. \"Ah, you join us in the land of the awake now, hmm? Up with you now - Eier, Schinkenspeck ein herzhaft Mahl, tun Fleisch drauf Sie mästen - Sie rauf ein bißchen.\"

Remus got out of bed slowly, memories of the dream growing sharper as he awakened more. He smiled at Katja and shook his head. \"Fatten me up? Do you want me to look like Hagen then?\" Remus laughed then, mind racing as it went over the dream again.

Katja snorted and shook her head. \"You would never look like Hagen, no matter how many eggs and bacon I feed you. That man has wolf in him, is true, but I think sometimes he lets it eat for him.\"

Katja handed him his freshly washed clothes and grinned. There is parchment on the desk, ja, for you to write whatever you need, and an owl will be ready to take them for you. Just bring them to me in the kitchen when you finish.\" Katja gave him a knowing smile and left the room, closing the door behind her softly.

Remus stood up, tears streaming down his face, but a smile there as well, and laughed when he heard a voice call out from farther down the hall. \"Hagen! Faul bemannen. Up with you! Remus is already awake, and here you are in bed still!\"

He got dressed quickly, the special smell of Katja\'s homemade soap bringing a flood of good memories back, and this time he let them come. He sat down at the desk, and wrote two letters, sealing them up when he was finished. Then he made his way from the bedroom and toward the kitchen, the smells of Katja\'s cooking making his stomach grumble loudly, and the sounds of his friends playful banter warming his heart.