In My Mind

Disclaimer: All characters, save Duncan, belong to the lovely JK Rowling. They decided to come out and play today, and well...we are all having a bit of fun! No copyright infringement is intended. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?

A/N: I know this isn\'t much longer than chapter 2, but my muse was screaming at me to stop and post until right here. Please review and let me know what you think!! and for my reviewers...

Jessica: DABDA...To be honest with you, I\'m not really sure how I know about it. could have been the psychology class I took in college... *red lights start flashing and a loud siren goes off* Oh, wait, I never went, so it probably wasn\'t there. *grins sheepishly* I picked it up somewhere between reading everything I could get my hands on and too much Discovery channel, I\'m sure. We\'ll see him go through the other stages, too, I promise. =D

Papaya: The color correspondences are actually going somewhere, and there\'s more in this chapter. I agree with you, Severus is getting happiness he never wanted (or is it happiness he never thought he wanted.)

akuma_river: heh thanks

Zak & Ivan: OMG! You aren\'t going to believe this. I actually squealed when I saw you reviewed again. *blinks* Ooo Zak, I think you just got a new nickname, my sexy little geisha. =D *drools* Leather....*suddenly snaps out of her wicked fantasy involving spanking men in leather mini\'s* I wish I were bold enough to dye my hair purple. Sadly, there\'s probably be some kind of a witch hunt and I\'d be burned at the stake. *grumbles something about living in the damn bible belt* I think this is my first ever \'wank review\'. ROTF!! Ivan, you feel so comfortable with me because I\'m one of those people that you feel you must tell all of your secrets to. I get that alot. It\'s even worse when peole see me face to face. *blinks* And nope, neither of you are old. Besides, Zak, with the miracles of modern medicine you can always be 29. Personally, I think after my 29th birthday, I\'m just going to stop having them. =D That solves having to turn 30 and all of that other stuff. Hell, I had a hard enough time turning 25 this last March!! LOL! Your code for sex made me laugh, hard. I suppose I should probably end this review, even though it\'s been really, really fun guys. Oh, and I\'m glad you like the story. LOL!! One more thing...I have 2 sites I think you\'ll LOVE if you don\'t already go there. www.thesilversnitch.net is ALL Harry Potter slash, it\'s fabulous! and my personal favorite www.playwitch.net Look for me in issue 3 or 4 in the recommended reading section...if you can tear Zak\'s eyes from the pictures...

As the research went on at Grimmauld Place, Severus was pacing his sitting room in his quarters. He’d stop long enough to gaze at the perfect writing of the werewolf and run his hands through his hair. People always assumed that Severus didn’t wash his hair or that potion fumes caused it to be so greasy. What most didn’t know is that when something was bothering or puzzling the stoic man, he had an unconscious habit of almost constantly running his fingers through his long hair.

He looked at the piece of parchment for easily the hundredth time. He repeated three words over and over to himself: guilt, duality, adaptability. He sighed in defeat. “It’s me,” he said to his empty rooms. He knew that he had to see Potter yet again, but this time he dreaded going. He had a clue as to which of the other two threads was Harry’s, but he wanted to hear it from the young man himself, so he grudgingly made his way to the infirmary for the second time that day.

The large oak door appeared almost immediately to his right and Severus knocked. Duncan opened the door and said in a rather subdued tone, “Hello Father. Come in, Dad is waiting for you at the manor.”

Severus stepped through and the little dark haired boy took his large, potion stained hand. In a blink, they were at the front door of the manor. The little boy did not relinquish his grip on Severus’ hand as he led him through the house. They walked into the large sitting room and Duncan dropped Severus’ hand and ran to Harry who had a huge grin on his face. He scrambled into his dad’s lap and declared, “I found father! He was waiting at the door just like you said he would be!”

Ruffling his messy hair, Harry replied, “Like you would ever doubt me.”

Severus sat in the chair across from the couch and watched the two. He couldn’t help but think that Duncan was the little boy he never got a chance to be. Harry looked up from his son, into the eyes of his former teacher and saw nothing short of longing in them. He cleared his throat and stated, “I take it you figured out the threads.”

“I figured out one of them,” the dark wizard drawled. “With one figured out, I believe that the other two are fairly straightforward.”

Harry raised an eyebrow in response and Severus began the explanation. “We began to look into color correspondences as you suggested. I gathered several books from Hogwarts and my personal library, and I had the Headmaster call an Order meeting. While at the meeting, I distributed the books and everyone began searching. Your werewolf was the first to discover anything, and wrote down the properties of the color orange. It could not have been more obvious to me, though I do believe that it escaped the notice of everyone but Dumbledore, that the orange thread is part of my magic. It is the part of me that helped you to destroy the Dark Lord’s body.

“I’m going to assume that the pink thread is Duncan here because of the fact that it is so thin, meaning that as he gets closer to birth, and is eventually born, it will only grow stronger. That leaves only the purple thread, and it must be you Potter.”

Harry shook his head appreciatively and opened his mouth to speak, but Duncan beat him. “Father,” the little boy smirked, “Dad’s thread isn’t purple; it’s indigo. There is a difference.”

The young raven-haired man put his hand on his son’s shoulder and shook his head as he got his attention. He looked at his former teacher and rolled his eyes. “Sorry about that Sev, sometimes when he’s certain about something he acts just like his father. I am glad he didn’t get my eyes though. I couldn’t tell you what color my thread was. I’m blue/yellow color blind.”

Severus made a funny face at the young man. “You’re color blind?”

With a chuckle he answered, “Yes, I can’t distinguish between different shades of blue or yellow.”

“It makes sense as to why you were so abysmal at potions, then.”

Harry just shook his head and grinned. “So, now that you have one mystery uncovered, what do you think can be done to get Tom out of my head? I have how many months until Duncan here makes debut into the world?”

“According to Poppy, you have a little less than seven months until…” Severus took a deep, calming breath, “Until our son is born.”

“It’s already been two months?” Harry asked alarm evident in his voice.

“Indeed it has, Potter. Now, I shall take my leave and let the others know what I have discovered.”

Duncan jumped out of Harry’s lap and grabbed Severus’ by the hand. “Can I walk you out, Father?”

A look of hope filled the small black eyes of the little boy. “I don’t suppose it would hurt,” the dark man answered, causing his son’s eyes to twinkle with joy.

The little boy led him out of the manor house and across the lawn toward the door. He looked up at the tall wizard with a serious expression. “What’s going to happen if you don’t get the evil man out of dad’s head before I’m born? Where will I go?”

He raised an eyebrow at the child in response. “How very Slytherin of you, Duncan. We will make sure that the Dark Lord has been expelled before you are born. In the event that he is not, then you will live with me until we can wake Harry. After that, it is solely up to him.”

Duncan pressed his lips into a thin line and made a ‘hmm’ sound. The rest of their short journey was made in silence. He dropped his father’s hand once they made it to the door. “Will I see you again before we get the evil man out of dad’s head?”

Severus put his pale hand on the boys head in a very fatherly manner. “I’m sure you will see me many more times before this is over, Duncan.”

With that statement, he left. He was armed with the knowledge of the threads, yet he still did not know how they were going to defeat the Dark Lord for good. Once back in the infirmary, he floo’d to Grimmauld Place only to find everyone pouring over different books and writing anything they might find useful.

Everyone looked up at him when he stepped through, and he sneered haughtily at them all. “Where are Granger and Weasley?” He asked.

Miss Granger took Mr. Weasley to the library around the corner to see if muggle books might have some clue as to what must be done. Snape scoffed at the idea. “Well, I will not begin until they return. I visited Potter again. He and I, along with Duncan, have solved the mystery of the threads.”

Remus spoke up in his usual mild tone, “Who exactly is Duncan?”

The dark wizard sighed and sat at the table, summoning himself a cup of steaming hot tea. “Duncan is the child that he carries. He has also taken up residence in Potters sanctuary. Did I not already relay this information?”

“Actually,” Remus began before he was interrupted by Snape.

“Okay, so I didn’t. The fact is, I know who each thread represents and if Granger and Weasley will hurry up, we can begin.”

Severus paced the kitchen for most of the next half of an hour. He finally gave in with a growl and got the address of the address of the library. He aparated to the side of the building, hoping that no one saw him, transfigured his robes into a long leather coat open down the front, and entered the library.

The smell of old tomes of knowledge assaulted his nostrils, and he was tempted to browse the shelves for a few moments before doing what he came to do. After quickly scanning the spines closest to him, Snape decided that he knew more than enough about anatomy than to waste his time, so he quickly began looking, but mostly listening for Weasley and Granger.

He finally heard her exasperated whispers near the back of the building in of all places, the occult section. He rounded the end of the last isle to find the two standing in the middle of it, Hermione quickly scanning a small hard cover book and Ron standing next to her with a dismal look, holding all of the books she’d picked out. He cleared his throat causing both teens to jump and look up.

Both teens’ mouths dropped open at the sight of their professor in muggle clothes. Books momentarily forgotten, Hermione asked, “Sir?”

Severus smirked at the Gryffindor’s reaction. “We’ve figured out the threads, now if you would be so kind as to hurry up, I can tell everyone at the same time.”

Hermione snatched the books from Ron’s arms and deposited all but one on the nearest book cart. “Just let me check this one out, and we can go.”

She hurriedly checked out a book on chakras and they made their way back to Grimmauld Place. When the teens sat down, Snape began to tell his tale.

“Earlier, after everyone dispersed to research, I stayed in here with the Headmaster and Lupin. He found this,” Severus held up the piece of parchment with ‘his’ color on it, “information on the color orange: Most often associated with reconciliation. It is also associated with luck, guilt, blame, duality, authority, strength, and adaptability. I have reason to believe that this color may represent someone in this room.

“I went to see Potter and the child that is growing within him confirmed my belief. The pink thread I saw is Duncan’s, and the indigo colored thread is most certainly Potter’s.”

Almost everyone looked at the tall wizard quizzically. “Duncan?” Ron asked.

With a sigh, Severus explained who Duncan was, and his roll so far in finding a way to get Harry out of his own mind. “Now that we have the ‘who’ and ‘which’ discovered, we need to figure out the ‘why’ and ‘how’.”

“I do believe that if we can determine how to bring Harry back to the land of the living, then asking ‘why’ really will not matter. We will all be truly free,” Albus interjected sagely.

Hermione giggled. “You know, it’s so very like Harry to be able to communicate with a child that’s not born yet. Don’t worry, Professors, we’ll figure it out soon.” She looked at the rest of the group. “Have you all got your parchments with the color correspondences on them? I’d like to compile a list and see if it gives us a clue as to how to help Harry.”

Most everyone handed Hermione their parchments with the colors on them. She thanked them all and excused herself to the study. Once in the study, she poured over the individual colors and the meanings. After almost two hours, this is what she had compiled:

Indigo: deep wisdom, neutralization of another’s magic, psychic powers, deep secrets, defense, fate, martyrdom, and compassion.

Pink: healing of emotions, peace, healing of the spirit, banishing hatred, happiness, gentleness, and love.

Orange: luck, guilt, blame, duality, authority, strength, and adaptability, independent, justice, pride, and high intellect.

She wrote Harry’s and Duncan’s names by the appropriate colors, then beside orange wrote a question mark. She tapped her quill as she went over the people that it could be. She was almost certain that if she figured out who the color orange was, then she’d know the identity of Duncan’s other father. Her mind kept wandering back to the night of the final battle. She let the memories wash over her as she picked out details. She remembered a few orange curses, but that couldn’t impregnate a man. She thought about who was at the table. There were only three men that it could be: Dumbledore, Snape, and Remus.

Hermione knew that Remus was an impossibility because he was stuck at Grimmauld Place. The battle took place the night of the full moon. That only left two other possible men, Dumbledore and Snape. The thought of Dumbledore being a father at his age was laughable to Hermione. Then it hit her, as she read the list again. ‘Guilt, duality, adaptability, pride, high intellect…’ She thought to herself. “Duality, holy crap, it’s Snape!” Hermione whispered.