Outside The Fire
Fantasies and Fears
A/N: I apologize for how long you were forced to wait for
this chapter. Real life has a way of getting in the way. Murphy has actually
called in outside contractors to deal with me. He does this occasionally to
keep me on my toes. A friend put a hit out on him for me, if you are interested
in the reward…
I am deeply grateful for my two editors that have
volunteered to make this short story more than I could ever have alone. This
chapter was ed byd by Faline and C Cage. I bow to them and their masterful
work. Without them, this chapter would have mediocre at best. Thank you Faline
and CC!
Finally, I would like to reply to the question of why I
would bring in an ofc. Actually, I like to think that I didn’t. I am attempting
to make use of a character area that JK Rowling has mentioned in her books. I
just gave it a little personality and a name. (winks) It should all come out in
the story. BTW: I borrowed the name Lexi from an Alan Rickman movie, since
Snape and Mr. Rickman have so much in common. Don’t you think they look a lot
alike? Hmmmm.
Chapter 3: Fantasies and Fears
Harry reclined on his couch watching a movie that Lexi had left in the DVD
player,
ended and Harry couldn’t believe just how unexciting the movie had been.
Boring,
he thought as he switched off the TV and stretched languidly. How can she
stand these sappy romantic movies? Well at least this one was a bit better, a
little mystery in there, but still... . “Nox,” he whispered, turning down
the lights, before beginning to get up from his place on the couch. He was
tired and ready for bed.
“Harry,” a voice behind him in the dark whispered. Harry froze as he felt a
soft hand touch his cheek. The young wizard
owner of that wonderful hand. A face loomed in the shadows. Harry’s eyes slid
shut as the face closed in on his; soft lips
“Harry.” That voice again. Another hand stroked his hair. Soft lips closed in
on his again, hungrily this time. Oh, how Harry loved those lips. They
had visited him before with promises of the sweet pleasure that radiated down
his entire body.
Heat built up in Harry
his. It rose steadily until it threatened to over take him. That wonderfully
sinful mouth and those hands never stopped their insistent caresses – even
while the body attached to them moved alongside Harry.
Strong arms pulled at Harry’s shoulders as lips began to move across his chin
and down his neck. Eager, Harry sat up into those kisses. He would follow those
lips anywhere. As strong hands brushed down his sides to the bottom of his
shirt, lips left his body only long enough for the shirt to clear his head. He
fell back onto the couch as the lips found his again.
Hands
roamed over his body bringing
of pleasure and desire battled to take over. A sensuous tongue began to forge a
path of fire as it languidly explored down his neck to his chest. Harry felt
his breath hitch as those hands brushed over his stomach and hips in turn.
Caressing… wonderful caressing. He wanted
more, but he could not move – to take or to ask.
He could feel release nearing. It built like
a storm inside of him. He needed the release. He craved the release.
“Harry,” the mystery voice whispered. The
hands came up to grab his shoulders tightly and shake him violently.
“Har-ry!” his name exploded
his ears. It was not the voice.
“Oh, hell!” Harry mumbled as he rolled off the couch and landed face down on
the floor.
Harry blinked several times before opening his eyes and
groaning.
“Harry, are you okay?” his assailant asked, concern lacing her voice.
Oh. Lexi. Harry looked up from his place on the floor to give her one very
irritated look.
“Your timing sucks,” he grumbled. She smiled then immediately schooled her
features to radiate concern.
“I’m sorry,” she tried to act concerned. She really did, but her eyes-twinkling
with silent mirth-betrayed her. “I came in and you were laying here moaning.
Harry glared up at her. She winked at him. “Guess I was wrong.” She flounced, actually
flounced, out of the room.
He groaned again, this time from the loss of one very good dream,
in his pants.
Torquemada’s
love this, he thought, grudgingly. He willed his body to calm down before Lexi
returned from the kitchen.
It would have worked if a last lingering memory of those wonderful hands had
not wriggled back into his thoughts.
He slowly dragged himself up onto the couch. Once prone, Harry leaned over and
placed his head in his hands. All he wanted to do righw waw was go to bed, go
to sleep and get back to those wonderful hands. Oh great! He thought, as
his body reminded him of what he was supposed to be trying to bring under
control.
He knew his roommate well enough to know that she was not going to allow him to
go to bed just yet; if for no other reason than to make him suffer, she would
keep him here to talk for a little while. Heartless witch, he thought to
himself.
It wasn’t long before Lexi returned from the kitchen bearing two mugs of
steaming hot coffeedatetime="2004-09-26T00:50"> , one of which she
handed the still grumpy Harry.
“All right,” Lexi began, sitting on the sofa arm and swinging her feet up onto
the cushion. “Tomorrow is the gala. Are you
ready?” the Grand High Inquisitor
gingerly.
”Ready?”
Harry sipped his beverage slowly, stalling.
“Yes. Ready.” Lexi huffed. “Are you ready to face him, to talk to him?”
Harry’s face paled; suddenly the Savior of the Wizarding World looked terrified.
After a long silence, she spoke softly.
Leaning down, the golden haired girl
catch his gaze, but he was seemingly mesmerized by the carpet. “Harry you have
to tell him how you feel.”
“I already did once.” His voice was flat. He steadfastly refused to look at her.
“Harry,” she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, rubbing it lightly. “You
can’t do it like that.”
She sighed, “Do you remember the day we found that little dog?”
Harry stared into his mug now. “The one that had been hit by the car?” she
prompted.
He remembered it. He just had no clue what she was getting at. “I don’t see
what that has to do with…”
Remember
what I told you when you
little pained.
“Yes.” He fidgeted a little swirling the coffee in his mug.
“Do you remember what the dog did when you didn’t listen to me and went to help
it any way?”
“Yes,” he responded flatly. “It tried to bite me.”
“Exactly. You frightened the poor thing.”
“I still don’t see…”
“Harry, Snape is like a wounded animal.” There was a short pause as Lexi
that you are not going to hurt him.
She slid down next to the dark haired boy and placed a reassuring hand on his
armdatetime="2004-09-26T03:07">.
need to gain his confidence - his trust.”
“And then?”
“And then you can make your move,” Lexi elaborated.
“But, I’ve already messed it all up.” He
turned to look at her. “He will never
“The dog did, didn’t he?”
Harry looked at her confused.
“It took a little longer but the dog did eventually forgive you
quite close.” She tried to sound as confident as she could.
“Harry,” Lexi said gently placing her hand on his arm. “You are just going to
have to give him time. Take it slow if he needs it. Let him lead.” She smiled
mischievouslydatetime="2004-09-26T03:22">.
Harry didn’t know what to say to that. His greatest fear was Severus. His only
dream was Severus.
He looked back down at his hands. How pathetic is that?! He chastised
himself.
They
sat in silence, before…
&;&nb;
“I’m afraid,” Harry managed to whisper. Lexi
gripped his shoulders and pulled him to her in an embrace.
“I know,” she said softly.
“When I close my eyes I can touch him, I can feel him.” Harry looked deep into gentle
eyes and tried to explain. “I need to hold him! I need to feel him!” Lexi
didn’t interrupt. He needed this release. “I can’t explain how much it hurts. I
ache down into my very soul. My chest has such emptiness. The pain is too much
to bear.” He looked at her desperately, almost as though he were pleading with
her to make it all okay. “What if he doesn’t love me?” Tears began to show in
his eyes.datetime="2004-09-26T03:25">
The worried girl began to gently rock the trembling boy in her arms.
it if he turns away from me again.”
The pleading and pain in Harry’s eyes made Lexi’s heart hurt. The patrona de
amoris (as Harry had fondly dubbed her)
wanted to reach out and take away all of her friend’s pain.
Oh, shite, I think I over did it with this one, she thought.
“I know love,” was all she could rasp out. She reached out and brushed the hair
from his face, then pulled him closer. I’ll
make everything okay Harry, she thought, too afraid to speak the words out
loud. Gently, she kissed his forehead.
“I know my love.” She said softly as she cradled him. “I know. It will all be
okay.” If only that damn man wasn’t so difficult. She held him close
trying to drive the emptiness away, at least for a moment.
“I won’t survive. I can’t.” He sobbed into her shoulder as she cradled him in
her arms.
Lex, you better know what you are doing. She chastised herself. For
Harry’s sake. You better know what you are doing.