Fairy Tales

Lucius stepped out of the fireplace and brushed himself off wondering why in the hell his childhood friend had to live so fucking far away.

“Verbiage, Lucius. Every one in this home can hear you screaming like a child about the floo network. Very unattractive, if you ask me” came the cool remark of Severus Snape, Lord of the Manor, Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, resident “mind-reader” for lack of a better term, bane of most everyone’s existence, Lucius Malfoy’s oldest and dearest friend.

“Tell me Severus, why the fuck must you live so far away?”

“I would not want to chance running into the dunderheads that I am saddled with. Could you just imagine, popping into town and there stands Little Johnny pissing himself because of the big, bad, potions master?”

“Funny, you always were a laugh a minute kind of guy.”

“Phoebe”, roared Severus, “Fetch a bottle of brandy and some glasses.”

A small house-elf in a pink tea towel came bustling in holding a tray for the two men.

“Bethey still naming the help, Severus?”

“Yes, but I pick out her tea towel”

Lucius roared with laughter. “Our children are way to…feisty. Any potions to make that go away?”

“Yes, when the Dark Lord rises again, remind me I’ll brew you one. Draco ng yng you a hard time about being betrothed to the Dolohov girl?”

“How the hell did you know that?”

“Our son’s. The floo was jammed for two hours. I swear I have never heard such wailing and belly-aching about girls. They are all upset that they are going to be expected to one day marry. Brandon actually told me that he wanted to remain a bachelor for the rest of his life. Do you know how long Vampires live? It would be horrible without the touch of a woman. Draent ent on and on about how betrayed he felt. I told him the ‘Shut Up and Get Over It’. However, it made Brandon question me about his future and then Bethey told Helena she had to go pick out her wedding gown because she just knew as beautiful as she is, she had a “prince” somewhere. I informed her that is she did not stop biting her playmates, she’d never have a man.”

Lucius was in stitches. Severus seemed to have as many problems with this as he. “Bethey bites all her playmates?” he inquired.

“No, just the plump ones. They taste better.”

“Ah, I see. So how would I taste?”

“Are you asking me Lucius to feed from you?”

“No, for Merlin’s sake, NO! I am merely asking if I night be one that your kind would want to feed upon?”

“No, you’re too skinny. Besides that it is a sexual thing, and where as I have known the company of men before, you’re not my type.”

“Deeply hurt, my friend. Now, just because you’re feeling talkative, tell me of your ancestry.”

“You met my mother and father. Horrible people.”

“Yes, I did meet them and they were not horrible. What were they?”

“My father is a Vampire, my mother a Circe. They spent their time between him biting her and her turning him into a lamppost.”

“So who was the potions expert?” replied Lucius, really wanting to bare witness to his mother turning his father into a lamp.

“My grandmother. She had to be. She invented a potion that allowed us to see the sun, covered the brilliance of our eyes, and covered the gloss of the hair. The only thing I can not do is look into a mirror, I have no reflection.”

Lucius was deep into thought as a small girl with black hair peered around the corner of her father’s knee. She had royal blue eyes so intense that she looked as if she had knowledge from distant times and foreign lands. Lucius smiled at her.

“Hello, Bethey.”

“Did Father tell you? I am gettingriedried. My prince is waiting somewhere.”

Ahh, yes, darling, your Father did tell me that was the case. Tell me, beautiful, who is it that you wish to marry?”

Well, Draco is already taken, so I chose this boy that I have read about in books. He is very handsome. His name is Harry Potter, but each time I say the name Harry Potter my father shakes and tells me to watch my mouth. I did not realize the name was bad. I think it’s brilliant. Harry Potter, Harry Potter….”

“Phoebe” yelled Severus. The small house-elf appeared. “Please bring me a cleaning potion, Miss Bethey is over using her words and needs to be put into her place.”

“Severus!” A tall shapely woman came to the terrace where the men sat with the young girl. She was gorgeous. Striking eyes that were brown with golden highlights, long brown hair. She was olive tones and had a Cajun accent. Helena Snape was not a person to reckon with. “If you dare wash her mouth out again just for saying the name I will personally see to it that you suffer long and hard.” She put a lot of stress on that last word. “Come along love, your dad was just teasing, weren’t you?”

“Yes, dear” replied Severus.

Lucius looked at his old friend with glee in his eyes. “When did we get so whooped? These women have us by the balls.”

It happened the moment the Dark Lord fell. I just knew that he was going to be the end of me. Now, I know that I was wrong. Helena and Bethey are going to be my downfall.”

The two men sat in silence for quite some time nursing their drinks. Lucius took this opportunity to stare openly at the man he had known most of his life. Severus was not the oily kid that Hogwarts knew then or the greasy man that it knows now. He was tall, lean with muscle. Had the longest blackest hair Lucius had ever seen. It was almost blue. His eyes were blue. You could see his soul through them. They changed with his emotions. Sometimes they had a tent of fire to them. Lucius had recruited Severus for the Dark Lord, keeping the man secreout out his parentage. He was however full blooded wizard, no one needed to know about the Vampire part. Lucius was not sure if Albus Dumbledore knew. What Lucius knew for a fact was that Severus kept his family well hidden from the British Wizarding World. Choosing to reside in Bayou LaFourche, Louisiana. It did make sense, Vampires to live with other VampiresTherThere was hunting ground all around. Lucius wondered for a moment, not for the first time in his life, why Severus trusted him enough to be his secret keeper for his wife and children. He was honored and vowed above everything not to let Severus down.

“I made you my bloody secret keeper because your thought is so easily extracted from your head. If you were to think of betraying me, I would know, no matter where you are in this world. Besides, I wanted to fuck with you a little and I know where you keep your dark arts and how you make your money.” Severus said casually.

“Just so that I know, Severus” he grinned.

“Look, Draco has many years ahead of him. Soon he will understand the importance of a good piece of pussy and all this worry will be for nothing. However, send him to an innocent. She will teach the boy to pleasure the little Circe. Trust me on this, her mother is a hellcat. Poor Draco may die of heart failure before she cums.”

“I bet that Antonin is very upset about being is Azkaban while most of the world is deep inside his wife. She is fun to look at, no?” replied Lucius.

“She’s more fun writhing and trashing under you” Severus said.

Lucius drew a deep breath, “An innocent. Gods, I had one, she was amazing. That virginity popping over and over again was the pits though. I thought, at 14, that every man wanted a virgin. Well, I had the same one 347 times. From then on out I made sure all the pussy I touched had been used before, until Narcissa, that is. She had to be trained. Then, after we wed, the dark Lord passed her around to the entire inner circle.” Lucius’ voice was thick with hatred. “I watched as all of my boyhood friends lapped at my wife’s treasures. Even you. You did have the good sense not to appear overly excited by it though. I always wondered if that is why you chose to hide Helena.”

Severus placed a strong hand on his friends shoulder and calmly stated, “None of your friends would have dared enter your wife without being forced and you need to realize that. They, we, could not have refused the Dark Lord. It would have been…unwise.”

Lucius rose and stumbled slightly to the right. Severus helped him to the floo, threw him in and clasped his hand. “You will be alright. Go home to your wife’s treasures. I am going to do the same.”

With this, Severus dropped a handful of floo powder and sent his friend home.