Sloe Comfy Screw Up Against A Potions Bench

A Sloe Comfortable Screw Up Against The Potions Bench - Chapter Three

***

Lavender Brown giggled and fished the cherry out of her drink, holding the unnaturally bright fruit by the stem. Locking eyes with Snape, her tongue came out to lick the dripping cherry in a highly suggestive manner.

Hermione groaned and hid her face in her hands. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Snape hurried to Hermione’s side. “If you will excuse us, Miss Brown. Miss Granger needs my assistance.” Lavender pouted a bit, but couldn’t coordinate her feet well enough to follow them. Snape whisked Hermione off the bar stool anwn awn a hallway she knew led to the kitchen, a small library and a tiny closet containing a sink and a commode under the stairs to the upper story. The toilet was unoccupied.

“Snape, I didn’t mean I was going to be sick, I just meant…”

He hustled intointo the toilet room. “We need to talk.” He shut the door behind himself. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but this wasn’t it.

She looked at him. “What?” Her heart thumped extra hard against her ribcage, just to let her know it was there. She wondered if she was going to sick up for real. She aimed for Snape’s shoes.

What was he waiting for? The door was behind him. Hermione had nowhere to go. Snape was staring at her again.

“What? Why are you staring at me?”

“I have a question,” he admitted, “and I’m not quite sure how to ask it.”

Hermione contemplated the wisdom of trying to shove past him and make a break for the door. He was taller than she was, but she’d filled out a bit. She had her back to the wall. She had leverage. Idly, she wondered if she could take him in a fair fight. She decided she probably couldn’t, and would have to resort to dirty tricks. She realized he was still staring at her. “Wellpit pit it out. We can’t stay in here all night. I’m sure some randy couple will want to recreate the airplane bathroom sex experience and this is the perfect place to do it.” The temperature in the room rose considerably.

After a stunned moment, Snape cleared his throat. “Was it really that bad? Did I put you off sex completely?”

Staring at Snape’s chest, Hermione counted the buttons marching down his chest like a row of ants on asphalt. “No, of course not.” Hermione shook her head. “I’m a normal witch. I have needs.”

Snape pressed the issue. “But you’re not seeing anybody. You spend parties hiding behind the bar and drinking to forget. What are you trying to forget?”

What did he want her to say? “The war was hard on us all.”

“But you’ve changed since then. You’re not the girl I knew five years ago.” He stared at her as though he were considering legilimency.

She shrugged. “Maybe I grew up. This doesn’t have to be all about you.”

Snape frowned. “You’re hiding something from me. I can feel it.”

Firm knocking on the door extricated Hermione from his clutches. “Hermione?” Molly Weasley sounded concerned. “Are you all right in there?”

“This isn’t over.” Snape was still frowning when he opened the door. “Don’t worry, Molly. Hermione just had a little too much to drink.”

“Oh, poor dear.” Mrs. Weasley clucked over Hermione, pulling her from the bathroom and Snape’s clutches. “We’ll just get you settled in bed and you can have a nice little lie down.”

For a moment, Hermione hated the kind woman for interrupting her fight with Snape before it really got started. But as soon as she acknowledged the ugly emotion, it had vanished. She left Snape standing in the bathroom and let the motherly woman escort her up the stairs and into the small, quiet bedroom she used whenever she spent the night at Grimmauld Place.

“Can I get you anything, dear?” Molly turned down the covers on the bed and pulled the drapes.

Hermione tho lon longingly of the toothbrush she had stashed in the medicine cabinet at the end of the hall. “No, thank you. I think I’ll just rest my eyes for a little.” Suiting action to word, Hermione lay down, closed her eyes and let the world spin dizzily around her. It was a familiar comfortable feeling. Mrs. Weasley pulled a thick pink blanket over her and left, quietly closing the door behind herself.

Several minutes later she felt someone sit on the edge of the bed. “What?”

“Still cranky?” Snape’s unmistakable velvet voice popped one of her eyes open.

She fiddled with the edge of the blanket covering her legs. “How did you find me?”

Snape picked up a pair of high heeled strappy sandals, bright red. He let them dangle from his fingers.

“You cast a locator spell on my shoes?”

“No. I waited until Molas bas busy with another crisis and mentioned you might want your shoes when you woke up. She was so flustered, she just told me where she’d put you.” Snape dropped the shoes on the floor. “So, thoealleally are your shoes? I found them behind the bar, but I wasn’t cer.”
.”

“I think they were Ginny’s originally, but they’ve been transfigured so many times…” Hermione yawned hugely. “Yes, those are the shoes I was wearing tonight.”

“Feeling better now?”

Hermione nodded.

“Good.” Snape didn’t move. “Because I think we should talk.”

“Okay. So talk.”

“Hermione,” he sighed with exasperation.

“Severus,” she returned, mocking his tone. “I’m listening.u stu start. What are we going to talk about? The Chudley Cannon’s chance he che cup this year? The ministry’s new house elf policies? Dumbledore’s awful habit of…”

His mouth pressed against hers in a demanding kiss. Snape’s lips demanded that she shut up, demanded that she respond, demanded nothing less than Hermione’s total surrender. Hermione opened her mouth and demanded a few things of her own. Her arms crept around him.

“Oh, Hermione!” He gasped as he pulled away from her. “Don’t you realize what you’ve done to me?”

“What have I done to you?” Hermione felt like crying. She buried her face against his neck. He smelled just like she remembered.

“You left me, remember?” Snape kissed the top of her head.

“You kicked me out of bed!” She nipped his ear gently between her teeth.

“I didn’t want to take advantage.” He caressed her back with slow, smooth strokes.

“But I was taking advantage of you,” Hermione confessed in a small voice. “Besides, you made yourself pretty clear. You didn’t want me.”

Snape shook his head and kissed her again, gently this time. “I didn’t want to tie you down. You were young, you needed a chance to live your own life for a while.”

Hermione couldn’t answer this one. She kissed him again, pulling him closer. They struggled with the blanket, arms, hands, lips and tongues meeting despite the fluffy hindrance between them. When Hermione’s hands brushed Snape’s legs, he pulled back. “Not here.”

“I just want to get rid of the blanket,” she insisted, tugging her legs free.

“I wouldn’t want your feet to get cold.”“War“Warm them for me.”

Snape kicked off his shoes and sandwiched Hermione’s toes between the soles of his stocking feet. “Like that?”

“That’ll do for now.” She pulled him down beside her and closed her eyes. “Kiss me again!” Snape went rigid.

She heard the door creaking open.

“in iin in blinders, Granger!” Draco swore. “Is there anybody you won’t sleep with?”

Luna edged around the door to see Severus Snape and Hermione Granger in a clinch. She squeaked.

“Come on, Luna. Let’s find someplace where we can get some privacy.” Draco stalked off.

Luna hesitated for one moment. Hermione made up her mind.

“Luna?”

“Yes, Hermione?”

“You might want to sober him up first. He has a little problem with premature ejaculation, particularly when he’s had a few.” Hermione offered an apologetic smile. “You deserve better.”

“Uhm. Thanks?”

“Miss Lovegood?” Snape added, “Would you be so kind as to close the door?”

Luna broke into sobs, slamming the door behind her.

“Hermione?”

“Hmm?”

“What did he mean?” Snape’s voice was casual, but the curiosity in his voice was unmistakable. “And what do you know about Draco’s problems with premature ejaculation?”

Luna’s sobs outside the door faded into the distance. They could hear Draco calling after her. “Lovegood? What’s your problem?” Then all was quiet once more.

“What do you want to know?” Hermione answered evasively.

“Hermione, have you had sex with Draco?” For a moment, Hermione felt as though she’d accidentally landed in bed with Scary Professor Snape instead of long lost Severus.

She couldn’t stop the giggles that burbled from the deep. “Oh, well, uhm… I wouldn’t have called it sex, exactly.” The giggles became snickers.

“What happened?”

“Well, just after Draco recovered enough to attend ies,ies, I got really drunk and the two of us got into a screaming match. Harry locked us in a room together and put up a silencing spell and the party raged on without us.” Hermione tucked her toes more securely between Severus’ feet and started playing with his buttons. “One thing led to another, and we somehow decided that since we were both lonely, and both naked, we might as well, you know.”

“Wait. You were both naked?”

Hermione giggled apologetically. “Don’t ask me how. I don’t remember that part of the evening really well. I remember straddling him, reaching for his, uhm… his arousal, and…”

“And?”

“He ejaculated, calling out someone else’s name. My hand had barely touched him.” Hermione turned over, letting Severus spoon up behind her.

“Whose name did he call, Hermione?”

She didn’t want to answer. “Take your coat off. The buttons are hurting my back.”

Snape withdrew his arms, shucked his coat and curled around her once more. “Who was it, Hermione?”

“I was drunk. Maybe it was my name. I don’t remember.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“Yes.” Hermione hated lying.

“It wasn’t Luna, was it?” Snape asked suspiciously.

“No!” Hermione wouldn’t have said anything to Luna if she believed Draco really loved her. “But it was personal. Draco and I may not be friends, but I really respect what he’s done for us. He’s lost so much. I’m not going to steal his dignity, too.”

Snape’s hand brushed against her breasts. “He’s rather fond of you, actually.”

“Draco?”

“Since the accident, he complains that everyone has been so polite to him, like he’s going to break. You don’t seem to care what he looks like. You insult him just as you did in the old days.” Snape sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing him a disservice, trying too hard to smooth his path for him.” He nudged up behind her. “Speaking of arousals.”

Voices outside the door interrupted them again. “No, not that one, Nle. le. I think someone is in there…”

Neville Longbottom opened the door. He blinked at the couple nestled together like two spoons. “Hullo, Hermione. Hullo, Snape.”

“Hello, Neville.”

“Mr. Longbottom.”

Neville was so mellow that even the sight of his childhood boggart in bed with Hermione could shake his composure. “It’s all right, Luna. They’re not naked or anything. Now, what is it you wanted to show me?”

Hermione sighed and rolled her head back against Snape’s chest. “Luna?” she called.

Luna Lovegood crept around the door, replacing Neville. “Yes, Hermione?”

“Do you remember what you were complaining about earlier? How all the women were straight and all the men…?” Hermione hoped she’d get the hint without having to spell it out.

“But you said…”

“I said Harry wasn’t gay,” Hermione emphasized the name. “Neville, on the other hand…”

Enlightenment dawned behind the poor girl’s spectacles. She slammed doo door and her footsteps were heard running down the hall.

“Luna? What’s wrong? Did Snape say something to you?” Neville followed her, trying to be helpful.

The whole bed shook with the force of Snape’s silent laughter. “Miss Granger. How do you know anything about Mr. Longbottom’s sexual orientation?”

She wiggled her bottom against the growing lump in his trousers. “Well, after you kicked me out of bed that morning…”

“That morning five years ago?”

Hermione nodded and rolled to face him. “Yes. That one. I was devastated. I thought I was in love with you. I thought… It doesn’t matter now. The war was finally over and I was still a little bit overemotional.” She hid her face against his chest, remembering. “Harry was still in the infirmary. Ron still thought of you as an evil DeathEater who was pulling the wool over Dumbledore’s eyes. So I went back to the Gryffindor common room and ended up crying on Neville’s shoulder instead of throwing myself off the Astronomy Tower like I’d originally planned.”

“Thank you, Mr. Longbottom.” Snape’s reverent praise was accompanied by a firm squeeze. Somehow, he’d also managed to unhook her bra through her clothes.

“So, here I am, confessing the agony of my heartbreak, thinking maybe I’d forget one man in the arms of another, when Neville confesses he knows exactly how I feel. It seems he’d had a crush on you since his first year, and it scared hi dea death. His gran was always going on about how he was the last of the Longbottoms, and Neville worried that if he really was gay it would break his gran’s heart because then he truly would be the last of the Longbottoms. Every time he saw you he’d think about these uncomfortable feelings inside and it would ruin his concentratioThe The boy had no chance at potions.” Hermione had finished with the last of his shirt buttons and ran her fingers over Snape’s naked chest. “By the time the war was over, he’d grown out of his crush, but he said he understood my attraction to you and wasn’t it a pity it had to end so badly. He was suffering from unrequited love himself, at the time, so we had plenty of opportunities to cry on each other’s shoulders.”

“And was his love ever requited?”

She felt rather than heard the long slow unzip down her back. The cooler air made her shiver. “You sound like you care.”

Snape rolled Hermione onto her back and pressed her to the mattress. “Of course I care.”

She could see his pulse jumping in his neck. He felt so warm on top of her. Ashamed that she’d judged him so harshly, Hermione admitted, “No. Neville’s not with anybody, and as far as I know, his love is still unrequited.”

“Is it anybody I know?”

“You’ll have to torture it out of me!” Hermione pretended to struggle against him, knowing it would distract him. In the struggle, she lost the rest of her top and he lost his shirt.

“You’re going to get cold,” he complained when she shucked her skirt and lay beneath him wearing nothing but panties and stockings.

“Warm me.” Her hands fumbled with his trouser buttons, but she was shivering too much to undo them.

Snape pulled the blanket up around them both and tried to warm Hermione with his hands. He stroked across her shoulders and down her arms, palming her breasts and gliding back up to her shoulders. “You’re so lovely. I never got to see you properly, before.”

Hermione lifted her legs and locked them around his waist. She returned his caresses, across shous, as, arms, chest. She followed her hands with her mouth, nibbling at his collarbone and kng hng his neck. “Severus.” She whispered into his ear.

“Hermione.” He bent his head to her breasts, kissing and sucking each rosy peak.

Her hips made small circular movements against his pelvis. Threading her fingers through his straight, fine hair, she tossed her head back, pressing against the pillows, thrusting her chest towards him
S
Suddenly, he stopped.

“What?” She bucked against him, frustrated beyond all belief. “What did I do wrong?”

“Shh…” He smoothed a finger across her lips. “Someone’s coming.”

Outside the door they could hear footsteps again. “In here. Nobody will think to look for us here.”

“But, Ron, I think there’s somebody in that room…”

“Nonsense, Luna. It’s Hermione’s room. Harry never puts anyone else in that guest room, in case she needs somewhere to spend the night. And Hermione’s not here. Lavender saw her leaving in a hurry with Snape. Iabouabout time, too, if you ask me, because she’s been pining after him for simply ages. Why she didn’t just crawl into his bed some night after we defeated Voldemort, I’ll never understand…” Ron stood silhouetted in the doorway. Just enough light streamed past him to illuminate the couple in the bed. “Oh. Hullo, Hermione. Hullo, Snape.”

Hermione didn’t hesitate. “Luna?”

The girl stomped into the room. “What? Does he have a small dick? Does he like sheep? What’s wrong with this one?”

“I don’t know what he’s like in bed,” the Gryffindor Know-It-All denied, “but the fertility of the Weasley family travels through the male line. The spell is pronounced: “contraceptus” and the wand motion is a swoosh and a flutter.” She stuck one naked arm out of the pink blanket to demonstrate.

“Oh. Uh, thanks, but I know that one.” Luna looked uncomfortable now. “Anything else?”

Hermione smiled. “Have fun, but have it somewhere else.”

Luna nodded, blushing, and retreated far enough to thump against Ron Weasley’s chest.

“Ron?”

“Yes, Professor Snape?” Ron smiled benignly at the couple entwined on the little bed.

“Take your time and make it good. You might not be so lucky as to get another chance.”

“Sure thing!” Ron waved and closed the door on them. They could hear Luna giggling as they looked for another unoccupied room along the hallway.

“Hermione? I know five years is a long time. Do I get another chance?\"

“Do I?” Her legs squeezed.

“Do you trust me?” He lifted an eyebrow and dared her to say yes.

Hermione sighed. “Yes, I trust you. You hurt me, but I\'ll admit it was as much my fault as it was yours.”

Severus Snape smirked. “Then just hold on. I’m going to take you somewhere you’ve never been before.” He scooped her up in his arms and the pair disapparated.

They reappeared in a bed much different from the one they’d just left. This bed was soft and large with plush hangings and down quilt. A fire crackled in the grate, and outside the lights of Hogsmeade twinkled.

“Hey! You lied to me!” Hermione pouted playfully. “I’ve been here before. This is one of the rooms at the Gillyfeather Inn at Hogsmeade.”

“Did I say I was done yet?”

***

A/N:

Did I say I was done yet? One more chapter will have lemon topping and some final loose ends will be tied together.

If you want to know how to make any of the mixed drinks mentioned in either the story or the reviews, go to www.google.com and type in the name of the drink and the word “recipe”. (ex: “liquid viagra recipe” or “sloe comfortable screw recipe”) There are dozens of wonderful drink compendiums on the web, which is where I got most of my information.

And, yes, naked Dumbledore from \"Bothering Snape\" was stuck in my head, so I had to write him out.