The Fortress Within

Severus was still sitting on the floor when Albus rushed into the room


Severus was still sitting on the floor when Albus rushed
into the room, with Minerva close behind.  He
was still trying to grasp everything that he had seen. 
He shook his head slowly, back and forth. 
He raised confused eyes to the older wizard. “How could you let this
happen, Albus?”
 


Albus spoke, his eyes never leaving the Potion Master’s. 
“Minerva, may I have the use of your rooms?”
 


“Of course” 
 


The Headmaster waited for the sound of the door shutting
before he moved.  He shuffled slowly
over to a chair by the fire and sat down heavily.  He looked down, at the floor, trying to compose his thoughts. 
 


Severus had never seen age written across the Headmasters
face the way it was tonight.  He
forced himself to his feet and took the seat opposite Albus. 
 


Finally, blue eyes once again met his dark ones, and Albus
began, “You have to know that I had no idea what the ministry was planning
with Hermione.  Had I any
indication, I would never have allowed it. 
I would have kept her here, with or without her consent. 
I would have kept her safe.”
 


Albus studied the dark man before asking, “I am assuming
that she has showed you, at least in part, what they did to her?”
 


Severus closed his eyes, fighting back the tears that were
threatening to spill out.  He could
only nod his head.
 


“I thought as much. 
She has shared them with me as well. 
How the Ministry can rationalize their actions is beyond my scope of
reason.  The fact of the matter is,
as a muggle born, Hermione was seen as somewhat expendable. 
Many pure bloods still hold the unspoken prejudices. 
They never would have sent a pureblood female into the serpents den.”
 


“As to the disgusting excuse for training, I have
no explanation.  I suppose one sick
mind can influence many and the idea of torturing, raping, beating….” Albus’
voice broke here.  After a moment he
continued, “I just have no explanation for such behavior.”
 


Severus ran his shaking hands through his hair. 
“Why did she allow them to do this to her? 
She could have said no.”
 


“Why don’t you say no, Severus?”
 


 


He smirked at that.  Remus
used to tell him he should stop being such a martyr. 
For a long time he could never understand why Severus felt the need to
put his mind, body, hell his whole life on the line. It had taken a long time,
but Remus had eventually accepted the fact that Severus felt the need to fight
in this way; that it was his contribution to the war. 
Spying was dangerous, but it was the place where he was most effective,
had the greatest impact. A realization washed over Severus, “Remus was in love
with her.”
 


A small smile broke the Headmasters grim expression. 
“That he was.  The Ministry, at Harry’s recommendation, called him forth. 
Having been Hermione’s DADA teacher for the last several years, they
thought he could assist.  Their methods were not working; she was unable to control her
emotions enough to be convincing in her role. 
I don’t think he was fully briefed on the extent of her training
exercises.  I know Hermione didn’t
tell him.”
 


Severus nodded his head in agreement. 
“He would have taken her out of there if he would have known the
truth.”
 


Albus contemplated this statement.  “Hermione loved him, as much as she could love anyone at
this point.  She took his advice to
heart; a little too much, I’m afraidsp; sp; The
Hermione that we know shuts down completely, hides herself.  The creature that takes her place is frightening, indeed. 
I have only seen her a handful of times. 
I am not sure what she is capable of, only that she is extremely powerful
and full of hatred for Voldemort and the Deatheaters. 
She will work with you Severus.  She
is a very powerful ally.  She blames
Voldemort and his followers entirely for the indignities and pain that our Hermione
had to suffer.  She will see them
dead and do anything to accomplish it.”
 

”Albus, I’m afraid for her.  What
is to become of our Hermione?”
 


“For the time being, she is here most of the time. 
The Deatheater only appears when she feels threatened or is in danger. 
Here at Hogwarts she is the student, the young woman, which we have known
for the last 9 years or so.  How
long this can continue, I don’t know.  Will
she decide to go into your classroom and never return?  She may.  We must
find a way to end this, and soon.”
 


Severus’ mind was reeling again.  “Why my classroom, why me? 
She has always hated me and made that fact very clear. 
I must admit, that up until this point, I didn’t exactly have a soft
spot for her either.”
 


Albus smiled at this revelation.  “Yes, but she knew of your spy activities since her fourth
year.  She always respected you,
trusted you.  She saw you as a
person who would protect his students, no matter what the cost. 
She saw right through you, Severus. 
The Deatheater Hermione seems to be built on your example: 
Strong, powerful, self-assured, temperamental, passionate, and downright
miserable at times.  All traits that
you exude in abundance.”
 


“Severus, I believe that we have all seen enough for
tonight. I, for one, am heading back to my quarters for a hot toddy and a nights
rest.  By the way, the serpent side
of our DADA Professor has requested rooms in the dungeons. 
I have reopened the suite across from your own. 
This should enable the two of you to work a little more closely. 
Check on her on your way to your rooms, I imagine the lion has returned
by now.”
 


The wizards rose and made their way to the door. 
Albus placed a comforting hand on Severus’ shoulder.  
“Don’t blame yourself, Severus”
 


“How can I not blame myself?   I was some sort of sick, twisted role model to the
girl.  Do you really think that, had
I never entered her life, she would have agreed to let half the wizarding world
bed her?  Would she have let herself
be hexed and beaten without my example to follow? 
Gods, Albus, I had no idea that anyone would ever want to be like me.”
 


“Severus, you were never anything but an example of a
good man to her.  She respected you. 
Despite your faults, your past, your demeanor, she respected you and the
work that you did.  You cannot blame
yourself for the choices that she made, anymore than I can blame myself for the
mark you wear.  I’ll see
you at breakfast, my dear boy.”
 


He slowly made his way to the dungeons. 
Passing by the Potions Classroom, he took a little used passageway on the
left.  As he neared the end, he
could hear the sound of music.  A familiar song came from the doorway that now stood across
from his own.  He had heard the song
many times, in Remus’ chambers.  He
never understood his friend’s attraction to the muggle band. 
“Now, Remus, now I finally understand.”


 


I\'m so in love
with you
Whether it is right or it\'s wrong
I\'m too weak to be strong
I\'m so in love with you
Well you say you need something
To help you when you\'re down, to take your fears away
Yeah you say you\'d do anything
To keep your feet off the ground
And help you on your way
You\'re all I need
Yeah you are all that I need
I\'m so in love with you
I\'m so in love with you
Whether it is right or it\'s wrong
I\'m too weak to be strong
I\'m so in love with you


He straightened his mind, raised his hand and knocked. 
The sound of the music, faded a bit, but did not disappear. 
The door opened a crack, as Hermione peered out. 
She blinked her eyes, several times. 
Then, the door was swung wide and allowed Severus entrance. 
She returned to the chair by the fire and wrapped herself in a heavy
blanket.  Severus awaited no
instruction from her, he just took the seat opposite.
 


Her eyes were wide as she stared at the fire. 
But, they definitely were her eyes. 
They didn’t speak as the song played on.
 


When you see
your reflection
You say it isn\'t you
Then you turn the other way
And I\'m watching you suffer
Yourself and your pain
Please don\'t fade away
You\'re all I
need
Yeah you are all that I need
I\'m so in love
with you
I\'m so in love with you
Whether it is right or it\'s wrong
I\'m too weak to be strong
I\'m so in love with you
 


The music faded out, and changed to a faster beat. 
 


She smiled shyly, and was finally able to find her voice.
“Sorry, I really like that song.  It’s
band called Texas.”
 


He weighed his answer carefully. “No point in
upsetting her, further.”  “Yes,
I am familiar with them.”  She
looked at him, surprise showing clearly on her face. 
Surprise and panic.
 


For a moment, Severus expected her eyes to turn cold and
distant.  They didn’t, she visibly
willed herself to calm down.  Her
eyes returned to the fireplace.
 


She drew in a shaky breath and composed herself. “I’m
sorry for what happened tonight.  I
expected to have some time to speak with you, explain things to you. 
I never thought you would be there tonight, that you would see me like
that so soon.”
 


Severus studied his hands, not wanting to make her feel
cornered by his eyes.  “No
apologies are necessary from you, Hermione.”
 


Again, her eyes flew to his face and again they had a
panicked glint in them.  “What did
you just call me?” she hissed.
 


Severus backpedaled quickly, “I’m sorry, I just
assumed with the nature of our new working relationship, that we could dispense
of the formalities.  I can continue
with Professor Granger, if you would like.”  
He had never been so nervous in a witch’s presence and did not like
feeling that way now.
 


“No, that’s fine.” 
She smiled at him.   “It’s
just that you have never used my given name before. 
It’s quite a shock coming from you…… Severus.”   She tested his name on her tongue. 
 


He relaxed a bit at the familiarity of his name. “I am
the one who should apologize.  I
never should have done what I did upstairs. 
I’m sorry.  I can’t say
anything more and I have no excuses.  You
have my word, that it will never happen again.”
 


She smiled distantly, her eyes turned colder. 
“No apologies are necessary, Snape. You only threatened to do what any
murdering Deatheater deserves.  Your
strength is a trait I have long admired in you.” 
His shocked eyes were met by a cold sneer. “Don’t ever say it won’t
happen again.  You cannot be sure what you may have to do to me, or I to
you, before this is over.  Just
remember, nothing that happens between the two of us is personal. 
All’s fair in love and war.”
 


He called on the power he knew his voice could command. 
He lowered his voice; spoke low and soothingly to her. 
“Hermione, I know this isn’t you. 
You don’t always have to be on the defensive. 
Not with me.  We work
together now.  I will keep you safe,
Hermione.  I swear I will.”
 


Her eyes cleared, then filled with tears, as they met his
dark ones.  She spoke brokenly,
“You always have, Severus.” 
 


Her cheeks flushed slightly and she looked away. 
“I suppose we should make a game plan, but I am honestly just not up to
it tonight.  I haven’t been
sleeping very well.  When I do, the
dreams… I can see him again.  I can hear…   It’s
not important.”  She laughed
lightly. “I have become quite adept at mixing Dreamless Sleep in the dark. 
You would be quite surprised.” 
 


He returned her smile, “Nothing you do again, will
surprise me.  Not after tonight.”
 


“No, I don’t suppose it will.” 
 


The tension in the room was broken; they both laughed as
he rose to leave.  “Stay curled
up, you look too comfortable to be disturbed. 
I can find my way out.  I’m
right across the hall should you need anything. 
I’ll be sure the wards will recognize and admit you.  We’ll talk more tomorrow, Hermione.”
 


He made his way to the door.  He did not trust himself to turn around, to see her curled up
like a frightened child before the fire.  “Goodnight,
Hermione,” he said softly.
 


“Goodnight, Severus.”
 


He closed the door to her rooms behind him and almost
immediately the sound of the music rose again. 
He stumbled against the stone wall and leaned there, listening to the
haunting lyrics that surrounded him.
 


Are you ready maybe are you willing to run
Are you ready to let yourself drown
Are you holding your breath
Are you ready or not
Are you ready maybe do you long to confess
Do you feel that you\'re already numb
Are you sure of yourself
Would you lie if you\'re not
You tire me out don\'t want to let that happen
A secret scream so loud why did you let that happen


So put your arms around me
You let me believe that you were someone else
Cause only time can take you
So let me believe that I am someone else


Maybe are you ready to break
Do you think that I push you too far
Would you open yourself
Are you reckless or not


You tire me out don\'t want to let that happen
A secret scream so loud why did you let that happen


So put your arms around me
You let me believe that you were someone else
Cause only time can take you
So let me believe that I am someone else


He found his way across
to his door.  With a whispered
command, they swung wide.  Without
really thinking, he reset the wards to recognize her.  Briefly, he wondered if they would recognize the Deatheater
Hermione, as well.  He settled into
a chair near the fireplace.  The
vision of her filled his mind.  With
a halfhearted wave of his wand, the fire roared to life. 
He needed comforting warmth tonight.


Two people spent the
night in the dungeons; sleepless and staring into the fire. 
They were both afraid to shut their eyes; afraid of the visions that
would haunt their dreams.