She Said What?

~unscrolls a parchment and clears throat~ let it be known that i am here to announce that anything that follows is not owned by the author, unless it is something you do not recognize. otherwise, it belongs to one j.k. rowling, and it will be returned to it\'s rightful owner in good time. after the author has had as much fun as she can stand with this. ~rolls scroll back up and steps off box, heading to the pub for a tall glass of Guiness~

who the hell was that? ~blinks, then shakes head~ right, this is the part where i warn you that smut is likely to pop up somewhere along the line. i\'m not sure when, but it will be here. so be on the look out. you never know when it\'s going to just jump over the sofa and attack you when you\'re least expecting it..... gods, how i wish.

reviews are nice.... not necessary, but nice just the same. no flames please, or i will use them to roast your ass! then i\'ve got to let the dragon join in and the house elves just refuse to clean up dragon barbeque.... or poo, for that matter. so let\'s just avoid the mess and not send any nasties. it will not be pleasant....

Chapter Three: Wedded Bliss??? My Arse
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Hermione stretched as she sat up in her bed, then groaned as the memory of the dream came back to her. She and Snape on a tropical island. Alone. Naked. Doing unmentionable things with body oil and a palm frond. She felt a familiar clenching of muscles located low in her abdomen and groaned again. This was not supposed to be happening to her. She was a level-headed, responsible Witch. She did not let her imagination or morals run away with her. Certainly not over someone like Snape. She needed to get a hobby to take her mind off him. Hobby, hell. She needed a life.

She slipped from her bed and padded into the bathroom. She glanced in the mirror and frowned. Her hair stuck out at all angles, tangles and knots highly visible. And she wondered why they called her bushy haired. Even the mirror seemed to be stifling a laugh. She glared at it, then picked up her brush and began to patiently stroke through the nest that had once been smooth and straight. It took some ten minutes or more to get it all laying flat again. She continued on to the toilet and her morning rituals.

She looked into the mirror once more on her way out and saw that it was itching to say something to her. With a sigh, she crossed her arms over her chest and nodded at it. There was a faint tittering, then the mirror spoke. She still hated the voice it had, all high-pitched and whiny, and she did her best not to loose her patience. But she was worn out already, and she\'d only just gotten out of bed. \'You look as if you haven\'t slept a wink, my dear. Hard night?\' the reflective surface asked her. If Hermione didn\'t know better, she\'d swear the mirror sounding knowing.

\'Sod off,\' she groused, then stepped out of the bathroom. She could distinctly hear the sound of muffled laughter and she went about dressing for the day. That did it. She was now officially in a bad mood. First, she found that hot, wet dreams involving her, Snape, and a bottle of coconut oil had done nothing but bring her left over lust from the night before to a full boil. Now, a stupid mirror was having a good laugh at her expense. She was ready to take someone\'s head off. Maybe she could get lucky and Malfoy would be more of a prat than usual.

The idea of hexing him with some smashing curse made her smile. She could picture turning him into something worse than a ferret. Perhaps a mouse. Then she could bring him back to her rooms and let Crookshanks have a good play with him. The appeal wore off, though, when she decided that the cat would choke on Malfoy\'s overblown ego. She didn\'t want to see that happen to Crookshanks. He didn\'t deserve that kind of abuse.

Hermione pulled a fresh uniform from her wardrobe, laying it out on the bed before retrieving the bra that matched her panties. Black, that went with her rather depressed mood. She thought it fitting, seeing as she was married to a man she detested. It was pretty much the end of her life as she saw it. She might as well dress as if she were in mourning. With the robes and jumper on over her white shirt, no one would see the bra anyway.

Once she was fully dressed and ready to face the day, she headed down to the Common Room to see if anyone was left there. More than likely, the lot of them had already gone down to breakfast, leaving her to make a solitary entrance. She sighed when she found that she was correct. The Gryffindors had all gone down to the Hall without her. With a muttered curse, Hermione left the Common Room of Gryffindor Tower and made her way slowly toward the Great Hall for breakfast.

What a bloody horrible way to spend what should have been her honeymoon. What a horrible way to start her marriage. What a completely nasty man to be married to. Damn her luck all to hell.

~*~*~*~*~

Severus awoke in a foul temper. It was bad enough that the previous night he\'d been forced to marry the Granger git. It was worse that he had found himself aroused from their brief kiss. But to find that he had spent his entire night dreaming of the wretched girl was the absolute worst. Even now, sitting here thinking about some of the depraved scenes that had gone through his dreams was enough to make his already stiff cock that much stiffer. Damned insufferable girl. It was all her bloody fault.

Alright, so he hadn\'t been with a woman in some time. At least, not one who hadn\'t been in fear for her life, drugged, or under the Imperious curse or some such thing. A willing partner. He could only just remember what that was like. So the fault lay completely at Granger\'s feet for this turn of events. She wasn\'t the woman he thought of when he though of... Well, he certainly didn\'t fantasize about her. The fact that she had been so soft when pressed against him, that she had responded, was what had brought about the night of disgustingly erotic dreams centered about her. And himself. In compromising positions. On his desk. And every other available surface.

The spray of water was set to cold, yet it did nothing but make him more irritable. It certainly did nothing to dispell the intensity of his erection. It finally took the thought of seeing Sybil Trelawney naked and dancing in what was supposed to be an enticing manner to shrink his stiffened shaft down so that he could put his trousers on without embarrassing himself. He retained some small amount of dignity and pride by not having to bring himself to physical release because of the Granger brat. Of course, after the visuals he\'d had of Trelawney, he needed to have himself Obliviated. For his sanity\'s sake.

Stepping from the bathroom, he picked up his wand and cast a drying spell on himself, then moved toward his armoire to retrieve a fresh set of clothes. He slipped into his pants, then pulled his shirt on. He buttoned the front of his shirt, tucking the tails into the waist band of his trousers. It took several moments to button his coat up. There were so many buttons to contend with. But the stiff look went a long way towards instilling fear into the hearts and minds of the student body.

When he was properly dressed, he glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked the part of the greasy git. It brought a rather nasty smile to his face. He liked the menacing presence he created. One of the few joys he had in life was terrorizing the students. With a sigh, he left his quarters in the dungeons and made his way to the Great Hall, making sure his robes billowed out behind him in the proper manner. He wanted anyone caught in the halls to dread seeing him coming. He was in just that kind of mood.

~*~*~*~*~

While Hermione wasn\'t one of the last students to enter the Great Hall, she drew the most attention. The whispers started almost immediately upon her walking over the threshold. She ignored the childish behavior as best she could. She was halfway to her normal seat when she heard the tittering start. Several loud snickers followed, while some comments became loud enough that she could tell Professor Snape was now included in the talk. She glanced up in time to see him talking his seat at the head table. The scowl on his face was one of the worst she\'d seen him ever wear. He was in as foul a mood as she was.

Good. Served the bastard right. It was the least he deserved, after spending all night smearing her with coconut oil and..... She firmly put a stop to her vivid imagination before it had her panting like a bitch in heat. She did not want Snape. She did not want to feel his rough hands skim her body. She did not want..... She grit her teeth and moved to take her seat. She would NOT think about him again.

Ron and Harry smiled at her as she sat between the two of them. With a forced smile, she began placing items from the platters on her plate to eat. Not that she was hungry for food at the moment. But she knew enough to realize that she needed to keep up the appearance that all was perfectly normal in her world. The more she reacted, the more the grapevine would buzz with talk and gossip.

\'Didn\'t you sleep well last night, \'Mione? You look knackered,\' Ron observed in his careless manner. She glanced up at him, then shook her head and smiled. She\'d be damned if she let the two of them know that she hadn\'t slept well. They\'d assume it was because of her new mystery boyfriend. Should they ever find out her sleep had been disturbed by far too erotic dreams involving Severus Snape, they\'d have her commited to St. Mungo\'s in a heartbeat.

\' I\'m fine, Ron. Thanks for asking,\' she replied sweetly, then looked over to Harry, who sat on the side nearest the staff table. She sneaked a look out the corner of her eye to find that Snape was glowering at her in a most hateful manner. She made sure to smile at Harry as she talked to him, completely ignoring the fact that Snape was in the room, watching her like a hawk would watch it\'s prey. If he was going to act the part of the sodding bastard, she was just going to have to let him know it didn\'t affect her in any way at all.

\'This bloke of yours, Hermione. Who is he?\' Harry asked her. He thought it odd that she would have a boyfriend now. Not with the N.E.W.T.S. coming up. She\'d never even looked at boys seriously, with exception of Viktor Krum their fourth year. Then there were the rumors involving her and Snape floating about the school. Harry had enough sense to know that she wasn\'t likely to be doing any of those things the rumors spoke of. But the fact that her odd behavior sprang up at the same time as the outrageous rumors about her and Snape did make him stop and wonder.

\'There is no bloke,\' she told him, feeling the piercing gaze of a certain snarky bastard as it landed on her back. She hid the frown that treatened to spill over her face at the thought he was watching her. That would make him a snarky, pervy bastard. She wasn\'t prepared for the sexually deviant side of him, so she shoved the thought away quickly before it could stake a claim to one of the darkened corners of her brain and set up a home there. The last thing she needed was to have the off spring of such foul, morally corrupt thoughts to clutter her tidy little brain. Not that she was a prude or anything. She just did not want to think of Snape in any other way that the snarky, bastard of a Potions Master that she knew he was.

One of those morally corrupt thoughts tried to push past her brain\'s defenses. Snape with a feather and a bottle of chocolate syrup was trying to get in and do naughty things. She barely stifled the groan of frustration as she forcibly shoved the thought back. Which sparked her ire, as she wasn\'t sure the groan was a product of sexual frustration or the relentless manner in which said lascivious visions were attacking her normal thought processes. The reigning god of smutty images must have been laughing with glee at her. She was not impressed.

\'Are you sure? You seem.... distracted,\' he finally said, his green eyes searching her face thoroughly for some sign. She nearly giggled as she imagined he was looking for the insanity that she felt her life had become. She had to be starkers to have sat back and just let the Ministry force her to marry Snape. Had her brain not been so shocked by the pronouncement, she would have told the official what had been going on. She would have demanded that they use Veratiserum on her to find out the truth. Or the pensieve. Something to prevent the travesty that she had been forced into. But no. The normal cleverness that had earned her the title \'Know-It-All\' had abandoned her when she\'d needed it most.

\' I promise that I would tell you if there were some bloke in my life. He would, after all, have to like you and Ron before he and I could be serious,\' she told him. She couldn\'t hold back the smile that came with the statement. Since Snape hated Ron and Harry as much as he hated her, she had no worries there. There was as much a chance of her and Snape becoming serious as there was of the Snitch getting past Harry\'s sharp gaze. She looked her best friend in the eyes and smiled broadly. \'Things are just fine, Harry. Don\'t worry about me.\'

Severus watched the Granger git lean her head closer to Harry \'the bloody irritating\' Potter. She was smiling and laughing. He had a sudden desire to curse the boy with something particularly rotten. He couldn\'t explain it, other than it was Potter. It certainly had nothing to do with how close the girl was as she leaned toward him. He was NOT jealous. He felt nothing but loathing and contempt for the horrid little chit. No, it had to be the fact that Potter was simply.... Potter.

He dragged his attention back to the meal before him. It would be in his best interests to pay attention to his food and not the bloody Gryffindor Golden Trio. He couldn\'t see any reason to put himself off his dinner by thinking of them whilst eating. The last thing he needed was to be plagued by poor digestion. It was bad enough that he couldn\'t seem to pry the image of a naked and panting Hermione spread over one of the work tables in the classroom from his head. He didn\'t need to sour his stomach on top of it.

He glanced up from his meal to see that Albus was watching him with a rather large grin on his face. Those all knowing blue eyes were twinkling away in a frightening manner, leading him to believe that the old goat knew something. Severus wasn\'t happy or comfortable knowing that Dumbledore was aware of something that he himself wasn\'t. That was enough to further foul his already foul mood.

The last straw was when he saw Minerva smiling in much the same way Albus was. It was a perfect example of the cat that ate the canary smile. Just bloody wonderful! The two of them were in on it together. Whatever it was. That was certainly not a reassuring thought. Most didn\'t know it, but Albus and Minerva were the two biggest trouble makers at Hogwarts. What the two of them accomplished made the Weasley twins\' attempts seem terribly unimaginative in comparison. He would need to keep his eye on the two old blighters.

Severus turned back to his meal, determined now to ignore everyone and thing in the Hall. It wasn\'t a difficult task. He\'d been doing it for something like more than half his life. This time was no different. Except it apparently was, as he noticed when Minerva leaned over to whisper to Albus. The hand that held the fork gestured to the Gryffindor table, then she pulled away. The two conniving old pains in the arse smiled. One of them started to chuckle, and Severus couldn\'t help but glance to the indicated spot out of the corner of his eye.

He felt his lips compress even further than normal when he saw Hermione happily being pressed from either side by her two companions. It was disgusting to watch the two boys moving closer to her until they were practically on top of her. Bloody stupid prats, the lot of them. Why should he care if she engaged in foolish behavior with two of Minerva\'s finest dolts? He kept the snort silent, but couldn\'t block the response from his brain. The damned organ reminded him very smugly that she was his wife. That he owned her, and he should be concerned with what she did. It wouldn\'t look good for him to allow his wife to play about with other men.

It took every ounce of his willpower not to throw his fork and napkin to the table, then push back his chair noisily and stalk from the Hall as he wanted. No, he would sit here and allow his anger to simmer and boil. Arrogant little witch. She still had to face him this afternoon. He had Gryffindor and Slytherin for one of his Potions classes today. Oh, the bushy haired little wench had it in for her now. He would certainly show her who the Master was here. The thoughts that brought had a wickedly evil grin spreading over his face. Oh yes, he was now looking forward to class.

\'By Merlin, I believe I\'ve been put off my breakfast,\' Neville commented from across the table. He was sitting next to Ginny, and the two of them faced Harry, Ron, and Hermione. She glanced up to look at him and saw that his face had gone pale and he actually looked physically ill. His eyes were turned toward the staff table, so she casually looked over her shoulder to see what had upset him so.

She was so surprised by what she saw, she actually had to blink and clear her vision to be sure she was seeing what she was seeing. She was not dreaming it. Snape was smiling. An evil smile that did not bode well. Then she realized her was looking almost directly at her. The fact was startling. Why would the bastard be smiling at her like that? He despised her and her mates. In fact, he made life hell for them everytime they were in class.

Class! Holy shite! They had Potions today. SHE had Potions today. If that smile was anything to go by, she was in such trouble. Suddenly, she found she had no appetite, either. Bloody hell.

~*~*~*~*~

The door to the Potions room slammed open much like it had that very first time they had sat in class. The suddenly silent students watched as Professor Snape stalked toward the front of the room. When he reached the cleared space on the floor, he swung about to pierce them all with a hateful look. Wordlessly, he pulled his wand and pointed it at the black board. The name of the potion and the ingredients required appeared on the flat surface.

Moving to sit behind his desk, Snape let his black gaze sweep the entire room. \'Go fetch your supplies from the cupboard. I want silence for the entire class. And this potion is to be brewed independently. Should I see any student offering help to any other, it will mean and immediate detention and loss of points,\' his probing stare stopped on the table that Granger still shared with Longbottom. The message for her was perfectly clear.

She stared at him a moment or two, then her eyes narrowed. Her mouth went flat as she set it in a terribly good replica of his own scowl. Then she nodded slightly, to acknowledge the challenge he had set to her. He barely kept the grin from peeling his lips up in an unfamiliar expression. He had known she would accept, and he intended to catch her disobeying his rules. With a curt nod, he set the game in motion. The students left their tables and moved in a neat row to the supplies cupboard to fetch their ingredients.

Time ticked by slowly. Severus made a good show of grading papers from the ignorant first years he\'d had earlier in the day, but his attention was given almost exclusively to watching what was happening in his classroom. He was beginning to grow frustrated. Everytime he looked up from the papers before him, he found that Granger\'s head was bent over her cauldron as she worked silently. Longbottom was in the same pose. neither one of them even looking at each other.

Snape put his quill down and steepled his hands. He knew, just knew, the Know-It-All was aiding Longbottom in his typically pathetic attempts to properly brew his potion. He only had to catch her at it. But how? She was apparently too vigilant to get caught by his suddenly lifting of his gaze while grading. He could move through the tables, but that would put her even more in the alert. He had to come up with something far more devious. The potion was not a simple one, and he was positive that Longbottom would do his best to completely foul it up.

The idea came to him suddenly. The potion, which was a difficult, time consuming thing to brew, had one last ingredient to add. It would need to be put in just before the mix was completed. Still sitting at his desk, he drew his wand, leaving it hidden beneath the surface of the piece\'s flat top. Lowering his head as if he were studying the page before him, he muttered the charm under his breath. It was a small, simple spell that would give off wonderful results.

He turned his full attention back to his grading, content to wait and see the results of his little experiment.

Hermione glanced up at Snape and frowned. His head was still bent over the papers he was grading. He hadn\'t looked up from the task once in the last half hour. He had to be up to something. She just couldn\'t figure out what it was. She saw Neville lift some powdered mugwort and sighed, then shook her head slightly. He looked from her to Snape, then back again. With one finger, she pointed to the ground unicorn hoof and indicated that it was the next item to go in. Neville gave her a greatful smile and began measuring out the proper amount.

With each passing moment, Hermione felt a little more of the tension on her shoulders ease somewhat. The fact that Snape seemed to be paying absolutely no mind to the class emboldened her. She withdrew a blank sheet of parchment from her bag and began writing down her instructions to Neville. The young man smiled at her gratefully, glad that she was still helping him, despite Snape\'s warning at the beginning of class.

Hermione was absolutely positive that the sneaky Head of Slytherin was pulling something on them. She just could not think of what it might be. The more she tried to come up with something, the further the answer slipped away from her. It was something meant to catch her in the act of helping Neville, but nothing had happened so far. Perhaps he wasn\'t actually going to do anything. Perhaps it had only been meant to scare them into compliance.

She shook her head at that. Even she wasn\'t going to buy that line. She knew he was plotting something. She knew he was trying to catch her at helping Neville. But she didn\'t know what it was or how he would do it. She sighed quietly, wondering how his twisted mind was working at this. She had no clue, really. She figured some of his days as a Death Eater had contributed to how he planned and plotted. Since she was not in the same mind frame, she wasn\'t certain what he would do to catch her. She thought it would be something terribly complex and difficult.

Looking at the cauldron before her, Hermione tried to come up with a way Snape would go about catching her. The problem with that was that Snape was most assuredly sneaky, which meant it could be any number of methods. She wracked her brain for an answer, but found herself lacking on any of the more dastardly spells that he\'d likely use. It seemed as if she needed to study some of the more complex and lengthy spells with greater diligence.

She felt Neville nudge her under the table and brought her attention back to the problem at hand. The potion brewing in front of her. She looked over the lip of the cauldron and realized that it was time to add the final ingredient. She lifted the vial of liquified dragon scales and began adding it to the mixture in small drops. From the corner of her eye, she noted that Neville had once again lifted the powdered mugwort. With another shake of her head, she glanced to Snape. She noted that he was still grading his papers, seemingly oblivious to the goings on in his class.

\'Six drops of the liquid dragon scales. Add them one at a time,\' she whispered to him, wondering how he missed this on the parchment she\'d written for him. Neville picked up his own vial, then measured out the exact dosage. Hermione watched as he carefully measured out the six drops, letting them fall into the potion one by one. When she was satisfied that he was done and could not mess up, she nodded and showed him how to stir the potion properly.

\'Time is up. Everyone bottle their potion and label it. Name on the vial if you wish to receive credit for your work,\' Snape\'s voice cut into the silence just as Hermione was starting her clean up. She dipped a ladle into the mix and carefully scooped out a measure of it to pour into her vial. Once capped and labelled, she took it up to set it upon Snape\'s desk. He watched her move toward him, his eyes following her every move like a cat sighting the mouse it wished to devour. She glanced at him a moment, not an ounce of any emotion on her face, then turned and walked back to her table. Neville was just taking his potion up when she sat down.

\'Well, well. Mister Longbottom. What have we here?\' Snape\'s voice was like cold water. It rushed over Hermione and brought a shiver to her limbs. She looked up to find the vial Neville had set down was not the pale gray color her\'s had been. This one was bright yellow, bubbling up with in it\'s confines in slow motion. One of Snape\'s eyebrows went up and he glanced at Hermione.\' It seems as if someone has aided you in brewing this potion. Yet again. And after I left strict instructions to the contrary.\'

Neville\'s face flushed, his cheeks stained red with embarrassment. Hermione felt her temper flare and allowed her brown gaze to look challengingly at the man across the room. He gave her a faint smile of triumph. It wasn\'t much more than a slight quirking at the corners of his lips, but she saw it none the less. Never taking his eyes from hers, Snape asked in a far too even tone. \'Did Miss Granger help you yet again, Longbottom?\'

\'Y... Yes, sir,\' Neville stuttered hesitantly. He flicked his gaze to where Hermione still sat, then back to the desk and Snape. The man\'s lips curled up into a very, very evil grin. The unbearable ass! She knew he\'d planned something, but it had never occured to her that he would charm the potion ingredients to point to outside help. She could have kicked herself for not thinking of such a thing. She imagined it would have reacted to her voice or some such thing. She glared at him, her hands unconsciously working at clearing her table of it\'s clutter.

\'Fifty points from Gryffindor for Miss Granger\'s inability to follow rules. Another fifteen from Mister Longbottom for ineffectually brewing the potion without aid,\' Snape announced. Hermione was certain she could hear the glee in his voice at being able to take so many points in one day. He let the silence stretch a few more moments as the rest of the class digested what had just happened before speaking once more.

\'You have eared yourself a detention with me tonight, Miss Granger. I expect to see you here at eight o\'clock sharp. If you deign to arrive tardy, I will deduct more points and issue another detention. Do I make myself clear, Miss Granger?\' he looked pointedly at her.

\'Yes, Professor. Crystal,\' she bit the words out, her teeth clenched together so tightly she was amazed that her jaw didn\'t ache. It took all her effort not to slam anything down upon the surface of the work table. And she could barely contain herself when she heard Malfoy snigger. She glanced his way, then lifted a brow and turned away. She\'d hex him and turn him back into a ferret later. First, she needed to get out of Snape\'s class.

As soon as the class let out, Hermione gathered her things and headed for the door. She could feel Harry and Ron on her heels. She waited until they had left the dungeons completely before stopping in her tracks and waiting for the two of them. Harry smiled at her, slipping and arm about her shoulder in silent solidarity. Ron grinned for a moment, then frowned. \' I\'ve never seen Snape like that. I wonder what\'s eating him?\' Ron asked, sounding thoroughly puzzled.

\'Well, I can guarantee you one thing. It sure as hell isn\'t me!\' Hermione spat, then stalked off. She missed the curious looks her two friends directed at her back. Not that she would have explained what she meant anyway. They\'d have laughed in her face for her answers.

It was official. This was one of the worst days of her life. She only hoped that he would give her some thing terribly mundane to do for detention. Like scrubbing cauldrons. That way, she could imagine that she shit she was scraping from the sides was Snape.

That thought served to bring a big grin to her face. Yes, she\'d scrape the sides of the cauldrons as if she were scraping Snape... er, shit from the bottom of her shoes. Damn if the thought didn\'t make her feel better already....

end chapter three.
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my thanks to madam shark, as usual. my beta and a good source for ideas when i need them. she helps keep me going. as do red, kenly and simone.... i love having groupies. loves ya all very much! *huggles* for the lot of you.

also, i have to thank some of my new reviewers. i am overwhelmed by the response to this little bit of plot bunny that would not die.....

to nesscafe: oh my gods! i\'m honored that you would read one of my little attempts. *blushes* thanks, and i\'m so glad you like this. i have to admit, it\'s my first venture into the ship and i\'m enjoying it terribly.

to elementaldiety: i wasn\'t aware you\'d read any of my other stories. i certainly didn\'t think that my work was addicting. but i am so glad you are. so, it seems, am i....

to estella: yes, i suppose the premise might be a little beyond belief. but i think i can find a way to explain it in later chapters, if you\'ll just give me a chance. thank you for the compliment on my chapters. i am terribly anal about wanting my chapters to be full of interesting things and the like. actually, i\'m just anal... so never fear. i will never post what i consider a small or weak chapter.

to beautifullymalicious: to be honest, i completely forgot about her parents when i started this. so i suppose i\'ll have to come up with some way to work them in. thank you for pointing out that i missed that important bit. i am glad that you find this enjoyable.

to kiristeen: wow! another honor here. as with nesscafe, i am in awe that you would read my humble attempt at a Severus/Hermione ship. i hope i can do this justice. please keep reading...

to the rest of you who reviewed but were not mentioned, i must give a whole hearted thank you. i am still in shock that this has been so well received. i hope you all continue to read, and please ignore my sense of humor if it suddenly gets strange. my best frined of years still has a hard time understanding my odd sense of humor. also, to those of you who are dying to know.... yes, i will explain what got the two of them into this mess in the first place. i will also explain what albus and minerva know that they don\'t.

again, thank you all so much! i love you all.