Remnants

REMNANTS
by Emaleth

GENRE: AU, Darkfic, Unresolved Sexual Tension.
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: So, Draco actually has a crush on Hermione and vice versa. But he\'s a Death Eater and she knows it. How much will Hermione give up to be with Draco? EVERYTHING! She gives everything up from her virginity to her friends, and even her soul. But is she the only one who is going to end up losing everything?
PAIRINGS: Draco/Hermione, Implied Harry/Hermione, Implied Harry/Ginny, Harry/Here.
e.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
AUTHOR NOTES: My first NC-17 ffic AND my first Draco/Hermione ffic. Bear with me on the cheesy pick-up lines (in the future chapters).

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CHAPTER 03 - Back to School
(Sunday. September 1, 2003)

Hermione sighed as she, Harry and the Weasleys boarded the Hogwarts Express. She growled angrily as she tried to balance everything in her arms. She already dropped a bag of books on Ron’s foot and she didn’t want to drop Crookshanks’ carrier.

Though he was not that heavy, an angry fidgeting cat inside a carrier was a struggle.

Hermione and Ron separated from the others as they both headed to the Gryffindor Prefect’s compartment but they were the only ones there. She sighed as she placed her belongings on the chair. She sighed, not just because of the weight lifted from her arms. She sighed because she was happy that she had not slipped about her meeting with Draco. But thoughts were also running through her mind. She knew that she would see Draco one way or another and she knew she would feel awkward to see him again.

She knew she would feel uncomfortable around him. She liked him after all. When he still regarded her as an enemy, she did not mind seeing him as long as he did not do or say anything rash against her and her friends. But now that Draco expressed his feelings for her, she knew that one way or another, he would try to deliberately try to talk to her again. She had already admitted that she liked him and had turned him down. She feared that she would no longer be able to repress her feelings towards him and just let go of the fact that Draco was a huge no-no even just for an acquaintance.

“If it isn’t the Weasel!”

She cringed at the sound of the voice that just shouted by the door. She had no need to turn around to figure out who it was.

“Malfoy,” screeched Ron as he walked towards Draco. “You are asking for debilitation, aren’t you? Or maybe a fist in your face?”

“No,” he growled at him. He coolly pushed Ron away then half-smiled as he moved closer to her. “Just wanted to see… the other prefects.” He raised his eyebrow at her, slipped something in her skirt pocket. Ron didn’t notice his actions but noticed Draco say something into Hermione’s ears.

“I love you, goddess,” he whispered before walking away from them.

“What a jerk!” shouted Ron after Draco had left. “He’s lucky we’re both prefects and I am trying to keep my job. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Ron.”

“Did he threaten you or anything…”

“I’m alright, really!”

Ron nodded his head and backed away, and continued to settled down. They did not speak another word but she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Inside the bathroom stall, she pulled out a piece of folded parchment and started to read it:


Dear Hermione,
I’ll just assume that you have told your friends about out little meeting. I’ll also assume that you will spread rumors about pathetic little me and how pathetic I looked when I was on my knees telling you about my feelings. I’ll assume that you have also asked your fellow Gryffindors to guard you and make sure that I am a mile’s distance away from you. It hurts me even just thinking about our separation. Knowing that there is little possibility that you were to express the same feelings towards me is unbearable.

But to be fair to you, I’ll be optimistic. I’ll hold out for that little ounce of hope that, since you do have feelings for me, you have not told your friends about me and that you will eventually end up in my arms.

I hope that you understand the time we had not seen each other was a lifetime of torture for me. My wish for you is that you were not in agony yourself for I do not want you hurting. I would not deny it either, but in my heart, I wish that you ached too. I wanted you to feel how painful it was to have someone you love, only an arms length away, be pulled away from you and never to see her again. It’s hell for me, Hermione. I don’t know what to do. I can’t think, I can’t sleep. I am like a poor babe left in darkness without you. I need light to guide my way back to sanity.

Do me these favors if you may. If my first paragraph be true (and you had told everyone about me) as everyone else laughs at my account, please try and not to laugh with them. It was bad enough you turned me down. Making fun of me will be downright cruel. You might as well stick pins in my heart and let me bleed slowly to my death. If you had not told them, please don’t. Keep it to yourself and burn this letter of mine.

If fate be kind and you have not said anything to anyone, be true about your feelings for me and tell me you love me as much as I do you. Just admit to it. I know you fear the biases due to our different walks of life if we so decide to tell the world of our love. But fear not, my love. No one needs to know about it until we both decide to no longer lie to the world.

Let me continue ask you to meet me at the room closest to the bottom of my house’s staircase at ten o‘clock tonight, right before the first years are settled in. If you decide to please both our hearts and enter the room at that hour, I will run to you and proclaim my love for you again.

If you were to let me bask in the darkness as I await for the goddess that would never come, my heart would not take it and though you may see me walking in the hallways, my body would only be a vessel as my heart would forever be empty.

Signed,
Anonymous
(As to protect one’s identity)


Hermione shivered as she felt Draco’s feelings for her channel through his writing. She noticed the smeared area right in the middle of the page. It was quite noticeable that it was caused by a teardrops, carefully blotted so that it was still readable.

‘This is the real deal!’ shouted Hermione’s brain. ‘Cripes, I don’t think he’s joking!!!’

Hermione tried to think it all through but she was concentrating more on trying to catch her breath. She could feel the angst in Draco’s letter and she imagined Draco struggling to write as his choked tears blurred his vision. She saw his face, so clear in her mind, with tears rolling down his cheek and his hand trembling as he dipped his quill into the ink bottle opening.

She creased the paper into its original fold before shoving it back into her skirt pocket. She broke down in tears as her mind and heart argued.

‘You can’t love him! He’s a creep.’

‘But I do have feelings for him!’

‘You’re insane! Don’t go tonight. You don’t know if it’s a trap!’

‘It’s not a trap! He has feelings for me! I know it! I saw it in his eyes!!!’

“Is anyone in there?!? HELLO!”

Hermione hurriedly wiped her tears and tried to regain composure as she opened the bathroom door. On the other side was Ginny with a worried look on her face.

“Hermione? What’s wrong why are you crying?”

“Nothing, nothing,” she said with a sniffle. “It’s nothing, Gin.”

“Uh uh!” shouted Ginny as she shook her head. “Ron said that he saw Malfoy say somethto yto you.” She took out her wand and shouted as she started to run out the bathroom door, “Now, what was that hex that would castra… HARRY! RON!”

Hermione wanted to stop her from calling them but it was too late.

“Hey hey!” Hermione heard Ron and Harry scream. Ginny was apparently pulling the two boys towards the girl’s bathroom.

“Girl’s bathroom, GINNY!” laughed Harry as he covered his eyes. “Ginny!”

“Stay outside then,” she argued as she let go of them. They stayed by the door, their backs on the wall. “That Malfoy made Hermione cry!”

“No!” answered Hermione. “I told you it’s nothing. It‘s just allergies.”

“Allergies?” asked Ron with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “You’re a witch, and you’re great at it. I doubt you’d let your allergies go bad since you can always make a potion.”

“If you’re not going to believe me,” she argued as she headed towards the door. “I’ll leave on my own then. Just let me be.”

After saying what she said, she headed towards the empty compartment at the end of the train and locked the door behind her. She wanted privacy and, knowing that Ron and Harry would try to unlock it, she decided to place an Un-lockable Locking curse on the doorknob. After performing the curse, she sat down close to the window and stared into the fields that would lead her to Hogwarts. She zoned out as she thought of him again, imagining about what he was doing that very moment, knowing that he and she were both looking at the same surroundings at the same time but are not even close to each other. She took the letter from her pocket and repeatedly read it. By the time she had read and memorized every word in the letter, she decided to just go to the room Draco had mentioned in the letter later that night and hoped that she did it for the best.


*****


“Pass me a roll please? Hermione? HERMIONE?!?”

Hermione snapped out of the trance she was in. She realized that Harry, Ron and Ginny were staring at her but she had no idea why.

“What?” she asked. “Do I have something in face?”

“Roll, please?” growled Ron as he tried to reach the bread basket for himself.

“Oh sorry,” she apologized before handing what he asked to him.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he chewed on the piece of bread in his hand. “I mean, you have been off ever since this morning.”

“No I am not,” she argued.

“Yes you were, ever since Draco…”

“NO I AM NOT! ALRIGHT! IT‘S NOTHING!!!”

Her friends shivered after she shouted, fearing that she was about to rip their throats off.

“Ugh! I have lost my appetite,” she growled as she placed her utensils down. She then started to get up and walk away. “I‘ll be back later to help with the first years. I just need to look at something.”

“Where are you off to? Are you off to read another book?” joked Ron as she started to walk away. But she stopped made a hundred and eighty degree turn before glaring at Ron.

Still glaring at him she started to walk backwards, unluckily bumping into the last person she wanted to see at that very moment.

Draco had bumped into Hermione and they both end up on the floor.

“Excuse me,” he said loudly as he pulled her up.

Hermione thought that Draco seemed very nervous as he looked at her. There was a sudden unbearable silence in the Great Hall and Hermione felt everyone looking at the two of them.

Draco’s eyes flickered from side to side, as to stare at everyone who was staring at him. His mouth formed a devious smile, but Hermione knew it was not genuine. His voice did not sound authentically sardonic either.

“Excuse me, but I need to hear it from you. You Mudbloods are born from coming out of the shithole… aren‘t you?!?”

He suddenly pushed Hermione down, not hard but enough that it was obvious, but she ended up on the floor anyway.

Suddenly, a pack of older Gryffindors, boys and girls, had ran from their assigned table towards the poor Slytherin. Their thoughts were obvious. They wanted to trample on the poor little snake. A brawl then started as the Slytherins joined in, protecting their housemate from potential harm.

Harry had helped Hermione out of the crowd while Ron and the other prefects tried to break commotion up. Harry and Ginny lead Hermione out of the Great Hall and made sure she was alright.

“Are you okay, Hermione?” asked Harry worriedly. “Did he hurt you? Does it work anywhere?”

“I’m fine, Harry,” answered Hermione. “Really, it’s nothing.”

“He’s lucky he’s a prefect. Ugh! If mum finds out that I chopped of Draco‘s…”

“Ginny,” interrupted Harry. “If you are to cut anything that belongs to a Malfoy, I think your parents are going to call you their favorite child.”

An malicious grin formed on Ginny’s face as she pulled her wand from her pocket.

“I really want to try that hex that I saw in Fred and George’s old books. Now, what was it again? Castriato something…”

“Ginny!”

“What? He doesn’t need one! He already IS one!”

“GINNY!” said Hermione. “I am a prefect and I won’t allow you to use magic as to harm anyone, even if that person is Malfoy.”

“But Hermione! I am doing this for the good of the school. And humanity! I mean, end the line right there…”

“Just quit it, Ginny, Please?”

“Go to bed, Hermione,” ordered Harry. “I think Ron and the other prefects will understand the circumstances.”

“But…”

“Gryffindor tower, you, now. If I see you out of that Portrait Hole, I am going to have to ask Ron to give YOU detentions. Or just take away points from…”

“I am gone then.”

Hermione parted ways with the two and headed towards the stairway that led to the Gryffindor Tower. As she took a few steps up the stairs, she looked down and stared at the doorway which she knew would eventually lead to the Slytherin dungeons.

She looked at her watch. It was only 8 p.m. That is two hours before the before she were to go to the room that Draco had told her about. Yet again, thoughts conflicted in her mind, bombarding the other with possible consequences. But her heart overrules her mind so she walked towards it anyway.

If Draco was to plan something during their meeting, he would be setting up or had set up the room as to trap her. Now was the time, since Draco was still in the Great Hall , to check the room itself with no traps and such on it.

She went down the staircase at the end of the hall and once she reached the bottom, she looked around as to check if anyone was there. She squinted her eyes as to try to look for the door to the room that Draco had mentioned but she could not find any.

Hermione’s heart skipped a beat after a strong hand covered her mouth forcefully while the other hand pulled her backwards. She struggled as the unknown kidnapper carried her over towards a door that she had not noticed when she was scanning the area.

Once the door was closed behind them, the kidnapper finally let her go.

“I am sorry,” he said. “I am sorry that I had to push you and call you these things.”

There was pure an genuine apology in his voice and Hermione wanted to believe him. And the kiss that followed it just won her over again.

Draco moved towards her anacedaced his hands on her upper arm. She pulled her closer, his staring at every inch of her face and moved his lips towards hers. His kisses were just as passionate when they were in Diagon. Only this time, Hermione was returning the favor. She was kissing him back and she did not move away when he started to use his tongue. Instead, he followed what he was doing and started move her arms towards the nape of Draco’s neck.

Hermione then moved closer towards him so that her chest was touching hers, and of course, to just get closer to him in general. She wanted him and she was now willing to admit it. Not that she needed to tell him how she really felt.

“Mmm… Draco…” she moaned as she tried to catch some air.

“Yes?” asked Draco as he finally pulled his lips away. “What is it, Hermione?”

“I… I…”

“Yes?” he said lovingly before burying his lips on her neck. She quivered as he kissed her neck, tickling her that she had trouble talking.

“I… Draco… I like… I have feelings for you… I do, Draco.”

Draco lifted his head with closed eyes. He opened his eyes slowly as she stared into her eyes. His gray eyes started to water but he remained in composure. He hurried flung his arms around her and whispered in her ears.

“I’ve waited so long for you to say that. Six years, Hermione. Six years.”

“So have I,” added Hermione. “I just thought you detested my every being.”

“I had to say it. You understand that, right?”

“Yeah…”

“If I acted weird and googly-eyed around you, people are going to talk and my father would go mad.”

“Don’t yhinkhink he’ll hear about it in Azkaban? I mean, someone could tell him of this little meeting of ours. He could still go mad wherever he is, you know.”

“What’s the difference? Anyone would go mad in that place eventually. If going mad is still possible in my father‘s case.”

Hermione laughed out loud with him, just like she had laughed out loud with Ron, Harry and her other friends. She did not feel as comfortable though.

“Draco,” she mumbled. “I you you, I really do. I hate to break it gently to you but I don’t think we are going to get anything out of this. You’re pureblood, your father’s a Death Eater, you’re a Slytherin and you’re just… Draco. I can‘t be with you. The laws of… everything… just does not allow it.”

“No one has to know about us, Hermione,” whispered Draco. “We don’t have to act civilized around the others. I mean you can I can always be… our old selves and disrespect each other…”

“Draco, you’re asking me to lie an infinite lie. I can‘t subject myself into this!”

“I am willing to do it. I’ve been willing to do it for six years! It’s not fair in my part, Hermione.”

“Fair? Fair! You want to talk fair? You’re pureblooded, you’re born into magic and no matter how well you do in school, you’re going to be treated properly as a wizard. I on the other hand, have to prove to everyone that even though I have no magical blood in me I could actually do magic? What would you do whenever you hear the purebloods whispering behind your back? How would you feel being called a Mudblood?!?! It hurts!”

“I am sorry, Hermione! I made you feel that way! I made you feel inadequate and I am sorry for it! I AM SORRY, alright? I made you think that way… I am sorry…”

Draco crumbled down to Hermione’s feet. Hermione, uncertainty plastered all over her face, looked down at him. His was contorted like he was begging for mercy, his cheeks dampened by a solitary tear creeping down from his eyes. By now, they are both crying.

“Draco, get off my feet, please. Just stay away from me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Hermione, please!”

Hermione ran for the door. As she turned the knob of the door, Draco stood up and started to run towards her. He got to her just on time and closed the door. He stood in the way of Hermione and the door and he kept pushing back as Hermione pulled on the door.

“Please, Hermione. Let me apologize to you.”

“Let me go, Draco.”

“Hermione, please.”

“LET ME GO!”

Draco placed all his weight on the door behind him while Hermione pulled the door with all her might.

“Please, let me make it up to you. I…”

“Let me GO!!!”

Hermione was planning to just slap him as to get the message across. Accidentally, she didn’t open her fist fast enough because, in Draco’s opinion, she had punched him on the mouth.

Hermione took a step back as Draco winced in pain. He was looking down on the floor, covering his lip with his left hand. Hermione walked towards him, as to see what had happened but Draco moved away from her and the door.

“You’re free to go. Just go already.”

“Draco, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Draco lowered his left hand and turned towards Hermione. He looked hurt, not physically, but emotionally. And his lips were bleeding.

“Just go, okay? You wanted to go… You never wanted to be in here.”

Hermione walked towards him but he pushed her away lightly.

“Just go.”

But Hermione did not hesitate and reached over as to touch his face. He didn’t pull back until her hand almost touched his blood.

He grabbed her hand before he dragged her towards the door. He opened it and pushed her out.

“For goodness, sakes just go. Fucking leave me. LEAVE!!!” he shouted before shutting the door behind him.

Hermione, take aback by his screaming, ran up the stairs screaming. She wanted to kick herself for not apologizing, that she stopped halfway up the stairs. She turned as to start to go back down but she knew this was a better time than any to put a stop to everything. This was, she would nip the bud of their friendship before it sprouted.

She turned back and headed back up the stairs. When she reached the main floor, Ron and the first years were already there. Apparently, Ron was giving them a thorough tour of the whole castle.

“And this leads to Hell…”

“Ron!” shouted Hermione after the first years started to laugh. “This leads to Slytherin common rooms, not the bad place.”

“Yeah, sure,” joked Ron sarcastically. “What WERE you doing there? And had you been crying?”

“I’m alright, Ron,” she said as she wiped her still visible tears. “It’s nothing really.”

“I’d give you a break and not ask you what you were doing down there.”

“Thank you.”

“Now come on. Help me with the midgets.”

“First years, Ron. FIRST YEARS,” she stressed before she and Ron led the throng of clueless first years up the Gryffindor tower.

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Author Notes: Review please!!! I promise to write faster if there are more reviews!!! ^_^ REVIEWS PLEASE!!!
If you would like to beta-proofread my ffic, please e-mail me. I don\'t do well with proofreading my own work.