Bathtime at Grimmauld Place

Disclaimer: Owning nothing

To Readers: Yes I passed out. I vaguely remember telling Shem on MSN that I was going to bed, and then my fiancé found me with toothbrush in mouth and head in sink, and put me to bed. At least that is what he told me. For all I know, I could have been singing ABBA and streaking through the flat. Anyway, I found this file saved under ‘BaPOthsi,ke.doc’ I can only presume was attempting to save it under ‘Bathtime’.

So, sorry about the delay, but here we go with chapter three.

Daya.

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Stare at knot in wood of the door as if that will give me answer to life, love, the universe, and what the hell I do in this situation.

Not sure if correct response is to ask ‘Is that a rubber ducky in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?’ before dropping towel and sauntering over, or if something more subtle is required.

Oh dear god, have just been propositioned. By Snape. And, by Merlin, am seriously tempted by it. Shuffle from one foot to the other, not really knowing what to do.

Am aware that one foot is currently curling round opposite ankle, and am biting lip. Am once more faced with moral dilemma. For once would be nice if could simply see path forward without having to make choice. Wish neon sign would light up that simply says ‘HERMIONE! GIVE INTO TO BASE DESIRES. SHAG HIM’. Would make life far easier.

Am still staring at door, aware that if I turn round shall be faced with a naked Severus Snape sporting erection to rival Leaning Tower of Pisa. There appears to be no etiquette for moments like this. Once have survived this escapade shall be determined to write guidance manual and distribute it to next years Seventh Years.

Hermione Granger’s Guide to Being Propositioned by A Potions Master.

One. Make presence known.

Two. Do not kill him.

Three…. Nope. You see, three is the one that stumps me.

Wait a moment. Did he mention biting?

By Merlin! The kinky bugger! Never would I have thought he would be into that sort of thing. Remus yes, Snape no.

Realise he is still waiting for answer.

Nervously turn around, and peer at ceiling, so am not looking directly at naked Snape. Am not sure if this is because I might be traumatised by the sight, or because I might not be able to control self. And running on slippery floors is not recommended.

Am decidedly inarticulate at this stage.

‘Miss Granger, I am not in the habit of making sexual overtures to my students, but I feel tonight I must.’

He appears to be being sincere. Is decidedly creepy. I blush and bite my lips once more.

‘Why me?’ I manage to squeak out.

He sighs. Is very sexy sound. ‘I’m not about to discuss this with you while I am standing naked by candlelight.’

‘Oh.’ Check. Yes, he is indeed naked save for a strategically placed back scrubber.

‘So, you wanted a bath, and I wanted a bath, and it is a reasonably big bath, and the water is still relatively hot.’

He appears to be suggesting we share the bath. Voice is currently sounding like gerbil on speed. ‘Okay. Who gets in first?’

‘I’ll let you. And I promise to close my eyes.’

He not only closes eyes, but also tilts head to look at ceiling. Stare nervously at him and bath for while, and then tentatively approach bath. Dip one toe in… yes, still warm. Peer back at Snape, who is staring at ceiling. Take opportunity to check out perfectly formed bottom. High, pert and highly biteable. He’s very tall, I notice, and thin too. Lithe is a good word to describe him. Am still fixated with rear end. Just a little nibble?

‘Miss Granger? Could you possibly hurry up? My neck is beginning to ache.’

Ah right, yes, get into bath. Whip towel away and sink under bubbles. Take defensive position at one end of bath, knees drawn up, and arms wrapped round them, bubbles strategically placed.

Snape is turning, and am not sure if it is blushing modesty, or a desire to prolong this that makes me squeeze my eyes tight shut. Can feel the water moving around me, I jump a little as a leg brushes mine. Damn it, I think I might faint just from that one piece of skin touching mine. Gulp as realisation of what I have gotten myself into dawns on me. Am playing dangerous game with a professor.

Interesting. If it had been Lupin, he wouldn’t have known what hit him. (Hint… me.) But Snape is different kettle of fish entirely. Gone is confident sex goddess Granger, instead shy Hermione huddles in bath, trying to make self as small as possible.

Snape has no such qualms. He spreads himself out, onng, ng, lean leg either side of me, head thrown back, water running down his smooth chest. Gulp again. Sound is very loud in dim bathroom. His arms are sprawled over the edge of the bath, and in one hand he still holds the firewhiskey.

‘Can…’ Swallow and start again as voice now sounds like Harry’s did during the humiliating time in the second year when his voice broke. Surprisingly wobbly. ‘Can I have another sip of that please?’

I gesture at the bottle.

Snape opens one lazy eye and peers at me. ‘Indeed you can have a sip of it, I believe you are quite capable of performing the action of drinking, the correct question is ‘May I have a sip of that?’’

Bastard is correcting me on my grammar. Pedantic git. Glower at him, and repeat parrot like. ‘May I have a sip of that please?’

He raises an eyebrow at me, and holds bottle just out of my reach, so have to lean forward to grab it. Am sure that was his knee my breasts just brushed against. Take huge mouthful, and let warmth fill me. Think I might be able to cope with this now.

Snape slowly tilts his head one side to the other, until I hear the bones in his neck crick. He gives a satisfied smile, and murmurs ‘Much better.’

‘So where were you tonight?’

Hmm. Firewhiskey evidently taking effect, talking to Potions Master as if he is equal. As we are both naked and submerged in same body of water, shall presume all hostilities, and previous encounters are null and void.

Eyebrow is raised at me. Find urge to lick it growing inside me. Not sure why I would want to lick an eyebrow, but this one seems deliciously lickable. ‘Where do you think I was, Miss Granger?’

Run through options in mind. Not sure why strip joint was included in there, but is entertaining idea all the same. ‘Hogwarts?’

‘I was at a Death Eaters meeting. With The Dark Lord.’

Oh fuck. Open mouth, insert left foot. ‘Voldemort?’

He hisses, and almost seems to retreat inside himself. His free hand grips the side of the bath tightly. ‘Do not mention his name…’

Ah. Appear to have hit a vulnerable spot. Open mouth further, and proceed to insert right foot as well.

‘Sorry,’ I mumble. Do not know what it is about this man, but appear to lose power of speech around him. Silence reigns as we uncomfortably look at bubbles. Mouth opens before I can tell it to shut, and words pop out. ‘Whaactlactly do you do at these meetings?’

For a moment he seems stunned that I would want to know, and then he sits up. Watch fascinated as the muscles on his chest bunch up, he leans towards me, and I feel my heart rate speed up. Also find breathing very difficult. He reaches up and takes one of the curls that have fallen free from where I have pinned them up, and gently entwines it in those long fingers of his.

‘Are you quite sure,’ his voice is barely above a whisper, ‘You want to know that?’

I can’t do anything else but nod, for fear I might beg him to kiss me. He’s certainly close enough to.

Have decided is obviously something in bath bubbles that has intoxicated me (have conveniently forgotten have glugged down half a bottle of firewhiskey) as am having thoughts about Professor Snape kissing me. Sure this is not a thought I have had before. (Ignore little voice that screams ‘Lying cow!’)

He’s leaning closer to me, his hand snaking back behind my head, the tip of his nose brushes against my cheek as he whispers in my ear.

‘All the Death Eaters are summoned at the Dark Lord’s command, and tonight we gathered at Malfoy Manor. I spent most of the night giving Lucius a pedicure while he braided my hair, and the other Death Eaters discussed the latest hairstyles, and the most fashionable cut for their robes. After all, black is so last season.’

He pulls back, and throws me the most delicious grin I have ever seen. However am far too stunned to even think about it right now, simply sit there with mouth hanging open, aware that he is taking the piss, but not quite sure how to react to it.

‘Believe me, Miss Granger, stick with that story, you do not want to hear what really goes on.’

Am still sitting with mouth hanging open. Suddenly he thrusts the bottle at me. ‘Drink,’ he orders me.

‘Severus Snape,’ I want to gasp at myself for using his first name, but considering the fact that if I were to move my foot three inches forward I would find out exactly what Snape was hiding under his teaching robes, I feel I’m qualified to use it. ‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’

‘I hardly need to try.’

Ooh. Low blow. But unfortunately true. Firewhiskey has gone straight to head and am feeling slightly tipsy. Mumble some incoherent protest. ‘Why do I have to drink?’

‘I thought you might like to play a game.’

Feel decidedly stupid. ‘A game?’

‘Since you are so insistent on asking questions, you must follow the rules of the game. It’s called ‘truth serum’. Every time you ask a question, you have to take a drink.’

‘That’s hardly fair!’ I protest loudly. ‘So the person asking the questions gets drunk, and you can just refuse to answer the question.’

‘No, if I’m asked, and you drink, I must answer the question. And perhaps I have a few questions I would like to ask you, Miss Granger.’

Have decided quite like him calling me that. Something very sexy about it. Can almost forgive him for comment about teeth years ago. Almost. Grab bottle and swig viciously. ‘There.’

‘Very good, Miss Granger.’ He smirks. ‘Now, do you have anymore questions?’

Yes. Why aren’t you offering to shag me senseless? Hmm. That one might have to wait. ‘Why are you so mean to Neville?’

‘I’m not. I merely wish to survive long enough to see him out of my class.’

‘But…’

‘Drink, Miss Granger. You are only allowed one question at a time.’

His turn.

Thoughtfully he stares at me. After a few moments he lifts the bottle, and presses it to his mouth, have sudden fascination with watching his Adam’s apple bobbing as he drinks. ‘So, tell me. Have you ever stolen supplies from my store?’

Bollocks! How does he know about that? Can feel blush spreading up neck, and it’s not from heat of bath either. ‘Um, twice. Second year, to brew polyjuice potion, and last year to brew a love potion.’

‘Love potion?’

‘I don’t have to answer that!’

Again he smiles at me. ‘I must question you further about that later, Miss Granger.’

Can’t help but smile. Will this be an intimate interrogation, Professor Snape? I certainly hope so…

Am feeling decidedly seasick. Have decided this is due to vast amounts of firewhiskey consumed. Only reason I can think of for being seasick in a bath. Examine label on bottle while I think of best way of phrasing next question. Is only Gryffindor bravery that will get me through this, bugger Slytherin subtlety.

‘What did you mean by your earlier comment?’

‘What comment?’

He’s wary, but I know he knows which one I mean. Can tell by way he seems to blend into shadows as if concealing himself. Must ask him how he does that, would be most handy in headgirl duties.

‘The one about not making sexual overtures on your students, but tonight you feel you must,’

Lie there wondering if words made any sense at all. He eyes me thoughtfully.

‘Would you object?’

Shake head furiously. Ooh, bugger. Waor wor world to stop spinning.

‘And why wouldn’t you object, Miss Granger?’ he appears to be leaning closer to me again, his fingers brushing the curve of my shoulders. ‘After all, I am just your greasy git of a potions master, the oversized bat that haunts the dungeons, a hook nosed, foul tempered bastard…’

Voice is far too sexy for own good. Am beginning to tingle. ‘I quite like your nose,’

Crap. Wish I could unsay that. He looks intrigued. ‘Really? And why would that be? What exactly is so appealing about my nose?’

Last thing I want to do is get into graphic description about why having a big nose is good while performing oral sex on a woman. Particularly not with my potions master, whose onyx eyes are glinting like he knows exactly what is on my mind. And knowing him, he probably does. I swallow. ‘I guess it has its uses.’

Well, wasn’t that ambiguous? And cowardly? You could have said it, Hermione, and see exactly where it got you? Perhaps to the higher plains of pleasure?

Oh gods, he’s chuckling. He’s inches from my face and he’s chuckling. Is surprisingly erotic.

‘You still haven’t answered my question,’ I say breathlessly. Am busy telling myself to shut up. If you’re speaking, your mouth is moving, and a moving target is harder to hit, how can you expect him to kiss you if your mouth is open?

He does indeed stop in his slow leaning in towards my mouth. Gently he strokes the side of my flushed cheek with his finger. ‘Hermione,’ he whispers, and if I thought Miss Granger sounded good, is nothing compared with Hermione. ‘I have had a long horrific day, and I wish for something good to help me forget it. So help me forget today, Hermione, let me remember only tonight.’

Body appears to have melted. Am listening to romantic sentiments whispered from most evil fucker I know, and am reacting like silly schoolgirl.

‘Besides,’ he says just before his mouth captures mine, ‘you’re the only student intelligent enough to be worth pursuing.’

Wish could come up with witty comeback for that, but as his tongue appears to be in my mouth, is most difficult to think, let alone speak. Pride self on being sensible and practical, so decide that would only be good to make most of size of bath, and push him back until he’s lying on his back, and I am rather happily sprawled on top of him, my mouth surgically attached to his. He appears to agree this is most practical position to be in as his hands are currently tracing the length of my hair, and are also busy assessing the topographical features of my bottom. Wriggle happily against little Severus that is letting me know he’s not so little and wondering about the technicalities of shagging in a bath, as Charlie never got round to his promised induction to sex in the bathroom. Something about a crisis with a dragon… or something… not really bothered right now as long fingers are caressing the side of my left breast and little bolts of electricity are spreading out across my body with the direct intention of gathering in the region of my lower abdomen.

Am treated to heady sensation of wet potions master sliding the length of his body against mine as he manoeuvres himself out from underneath and introduces himself to my nipples. Who reply happily by making themselves as hard as possible. Stretch arms over head as open invitation and to allow him easier access to my body, something he does not refuse. He traces kisses down my stomach, licking away the water that trails across my pale skin, I feel hands sliding under my hips, lifting me up, and am exposed to cold air of bathroom, but don’t care as Severus buries his head enthusiastically between my legs.

‘Ooooooh…’ I can’t help but moan as his tongue slides through my damp folds to find my swollen nub.

Somehow do not think any fantasises in future baths will be revolving around Aragorn anymore… Perhaps Severus could be persuaded to join me in Head Girl’s bathroom when we return to school…

He definitely appears to know what he’s doing. Appears his tongue isn’t only used for snapping at first years. No, he knows much more pleasurable things to be doing. A long finger dips inside me, testing my wetness, and I feel the first waves of my orgasm approaching…

Bang!

The bathroom door is flung open for a second time that night. I somehow hold back a scream that is half from pleasure, half from shock…

‘Harry!’

‘Sorry! Gods, I’m sorry Hermione, but I just wanted to warn you that Snape is back, and that he’s in a foul mood!’

Not from where I’m lying…
He’s trying hard not to look at me, and I realise that the Boy Who Lived, But Who Has The Worse Timing Ever can not see anything due to bubbles surrounding me.

‘You burst in, just to tell me that?’ I pant, as Severus evilly continues lapping at my clitoris. I know he can hear every word. The water doesn’t come up that high.

‘I, um,’ Harry runs an awkward hand through his hair. ‘I thought you might have finished by now.’

Believe I am beginning to pick up traits from Severus already. Manage to form a sweet smile on my face, and stare pointedly at Harry. ‘Not yet, but I was just about to when you so rudely interrupted, so if you don’t mind, Harry, bugger off!’

Harry gapes at me. And continues to gape as Severus lifts his head above the bath level. Despite potions master being very wet, and having long dark hair slicked back off his face, and a decidedly confident grin on his face, he is still instantly recognisable as potions master. And so Harry continues to gape.

‘You heard the lady, Potter. Bugger off!’

Just for added emphasis he throws the back scrubber at Harry. Who is so shocked he barely notices it bounce off his infamous scar. Absentmindedly he rubs it, while staring in shock at me, and then at Severus, and then back at me.

‘Snape?!’ he finally manages to splutter out.

‘BUGGER OFF!’

Apparently shouting at him works, and he sprints from room as if he had one of Fred and George’s firecrackers shoved up his arse.

Glance down at Severus with a smug smile. ‘Please continue, Professor Snape. And I must apologise for the complete idiocy of my friends.’

He returns smile, and murmurs as he lowers his head once more. ‘Please don’t worry about it Miss Granger. It’s not your friends I’m interested in…’

Ooooh yes. That would be the spot… Appears my theory on big noses was indeed correct... Give contented sigh, and lower my head back.

‘Oh Severus!’

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