Hurt

Chapter 3....for whom the bell tolls

The bells, the bells. Once so sweet began to fade, and were replaced
by a harsh tone. His alarm spell had gone off, and for a moment he felt
her touch lingering on his lips. Just like his dream it had lingered for only
a moment before leaving him. Now feeling as cold and dark as the floor
he had just set his feet upon.

Severus shivered as his head began to clear. It had gotten worse as he
increased the dosage, but now he didn\'t really care. Years of waiting, always
alone, surrounded by those who either hated him or mearly tolerated his
presence. Not that he didn\'t have a handful of supporters. Dumbledore
was most trusted among them, the others sadly were for show. Going
through the motions where ever he went.

\'Yes, maam. Your daughter is lovely.\' Wizarding mothers always trying to
get him to take out their ugly daughters.

\'Yes, sir. Your son will be a asset to Slytherin.\' Stupid parents who held
way too much credit for their childrens ability.

Yuck, it made his already throbbing head hurt worse. All this time, putting
on the best face he could muster. Keeping all at bay with his surly attitude,
and the cutting remarks of his whip like tounge. The potions master grew
weary of coming home to the empty dungeon apartment where he stayed.
Endless days turned into months, that had melted into years. Here he was, alone
and caught inside of the emotional armor he had made for himself. Deep inside
he knew the old Severus was alive, but now only in dreams did he ever truly live.
Only with his sweet Rhapsody.

Snape sighed heavily as he began his morning routine. Shower and dress,
mechanical as always. Heading to breakfast he caught two Ravenclaw sixth
years snogging in a hallway. Appearently caught completly up in what they
were doing.

\"Hively, Nagel!\"

The dark red haired girl, and the long haired blonde boy stopped in mid-kiss.
Eyes widening at the look on Snape\'s face. Trying desperatly to adjust their
robes. They had only been kissing, but the look on his face made them feel
incrediably dirty.

\"Trina Hively! You remember this young lady. I know your mother,
and don\'t think for a second I won\'t suggest to her to put you on a
contraceptive potion.\"

He hissed his words at her, as her face fell in a expression of pure fear.
Professor Snape *did* know her mother, and the look in his eyes gave away
he truly would tell her mother out of spite. Even though she was still a virgin,
the embarrasment would be too awful to bear.

\"As for you, Zebulin Nagel. I suggest you get to class, and be sure to
use the head that is attached to your shoulders, and not the one in your
pants! Ten points from Ravenclaw! Now move both of you!\"

Snape\'s voice was cold, and filled with the tone not to argue. They slunk
away with scowls on their faces, obviously going now to tell their friends what
a greasy git they thought he was. He followed them toward the Great Hall,
wanting only coffee to help clear his cloudy mind.

\'Young love.\' He thought as he watched them walking in front of him, hand
in hand. \'How discusting!\'

*******************
Night had fallen and he tried to relax his frazzled nerves with a drink, and his
nightly sit in front of the fire. The day had been strange, bringing a mixture of
almost every emotion imaginable. Severus was truly drained, and his eyes began
to get heavy as he clutched the silver chain to his heart.

After breakfast the day only got worse. In fact, if Severus would of known
just how bad it was going to get he would of never got out of bed that morning.
The second year potion class went off without a hitch. Double potins with the
seventh year class, which was always a disaster waiting to happen, was surely
a small trip to hell.

Longbottom had melted yet another cauldron, Pansy Parkinson had accidently
spilled some perfume in hers which mixed to make a positivly foul smell. Stupid
girl was obsessed with Draco Malfoy, and for years had done worse and
worse in Potions as she was always primping and smiling to get his attention.

Alas it was for nothing, his eyes were fixed on that Ginny Weasley. Much to
the dismay of his father. Draco had not said a word against Muggle-born since
the beginning of this school year. Severus attributted this to the fact Ginny
had went from geek to goddess in just three months.


He sat back heavily in his favorite leather chair, once again watching the
flames. Trying to chase away the cold that lingered in his joints. The dampness
of the dungeon had certainly wore him down over the years. Cold and dark.
Just like him, always.

Dismay filled his thoughts, \'I was too hard on him. I\'m losing it.\'
But somehow this thought that should of frightened him....didn\'t.

He took another swallow of the warm brandy, and thought back to this
afternoon. He had lost almost all control, and had showed his students for
the first time something any Slytherin shouldn\'t have within. Weakness.

It had started softly enough. A faint tinkling, a soft rustle among the
noise filling his classroom as the many student flooded in before the bell.
Severus strained to hear it again, it sounded just like, he couldn\'t bear to
think about what it sounded like. Thinking he was obviously going mad, he
began to write on the board the days ingredients.

He listened to the iddle chatter of the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Crabbe and
Goyle burping from lunch, and laughing. Harry and Hermonie trying to sneak
holding hands, while Draco whistled in their direction. He often gave them a
hard time about being a couple since they began dating over the past summer.

\"What\'s she doing, Potter. Reading your palm like a bloody Pikie?\"

Snape\'s chalk broke harshly as his fingers clenched in furry. His blood felt
like ice as the broken chalk went downward harshly making it squeel. Silencing
all talk and even noise in the Potion room. He turned slowly toward them, burning
anger enveloping this eyes.

\"Who said that?\" Snape\'s voice coming out in a barely controlled manner.
By his tone you could just tell his anger was almost to the breaking point. He
needed no answer. Malfoy had done it, and had unknowingly opened a old
wound that still hadn\'t quite healed.

Everyone in the class was still, unmoving but all eyes were on Draco.
Even Snape didn\'t sound like that. Not a one of them, even Harry, had
heard that edge to it before. It was enough to make your potion turn cold.

Severus couldn\'t move, only could let his body tremble. He licked his lips slowly,
and took in a deep breath. It didn\'t help much. All he could think was that
name, that word. PIKIE! Hearing it once more opened the floodgates of the past.
Even if it was from a stupid boy who didn\'t know what it ment, but being
Malfoy maybe he did. Snape forced his voice to be even.

\"Draconis Orion Malfoy!\", he roared. \"If you ever say that word again in
your life, I will see to it personaly that you will be drawn and quartered by
Madame Maxine\'s horses in front of your family and friends. Then I will
personally shrink your head and use it for a bloody door knocker! Are we
quite clear on this?\"

Draco turned a crimson color, even under his hair line it was deep red. First
Snape had said his whole name, which he hated, in front of everyone. Then
had actually threatened his very existance. Only his father talked to him like
that, never a teacher. Professor Snape was suppose to be on his side.
So much for loyalty.

Draco grumbled a, \"Yes sir.\"

\"Very well then. Mr.Malfoy, you may report to the Headmaster. Tell him I
said you may not return until you\'ve proven the intollerable racism that
your father instilled in you is truly dead. It\'s not only the Muggle born
who deserve the respect you have forgotten for so long. \"

Draco looked shocked, but began to gather his things in a huff. Stomping out
of the Potion classroom, and through the dark dungeons to the entry hall.
Snape could hear his heavy footsteps as he went.

He surveyed the still silent and a bit shocked class with growing contempt.
Never before had he come so close to losing it. The Death-Eater within him
had long been without blood, and every so often it cried out to him for it.
This time it had been close, too close for any kind of comfort.

\"Now if anyone else has a death wish, please say that word in my presence.
If I ever heard the word...pikie,\" he barely could get it out himself, \"spoken in
my presence there certainly will be all types of hells wrath to endure. Now
begin your potion on the board. Do it now, no talking. Due at the end of class,
bottle it and put it on the desk.\"

The next hour and a half crawled by. The hated word bouncing around in his
skull. They had called her that. The small minded people he called his family, even
teasing him relentlessly after she was gone. They had made her leave, chasing
her away like some stray cat. Fucking hell, they had ruined his life. Pushing
him towards the Dark Lord, and not the life that he had so desired with her.

Then from nowhere the bells began again. He looked sharply toward the
door. Half expecting to see her there, but of course she was not. He looked
around franticly, darting his black eyes back and forth. Severus could only
see Hermonie walking towards. Vi. Vile in hand, always the first to turn her
class work in.

Only he could now tell it was her. She was making the noise. It sent his mind
reeling. The bells, the bells. Filling his ears with the sickening feeling of the loss
of her. He narrowed his eyes at Hermonie.

\"Please come around here, Ms.Granger.\"

She looked at him strangely, but rounded the desk to face him. Still
jingling to his dismay. He could tell his hands were shaking, and his pale
skin was stark white against his black hair.

\"Yes, Professor?\"

\"You would be well advised to take off those noisy things.\" He was breathing
heavily, and looking like he was about to pass out with every sound they made.

\"But Professor, Harry gave them to me.\" Hermonie obviously not wanting
to give up something her boyfriend had bought her. \"He got them from the
gypsies we saw while we were in London, over the summer.\"

\"Please give them to me.\ H Hermonie was taken aback. Snape wasn\'t harsh. He was almost pleading with
her, and his physical condition was enough to worry even her. Shaking and pale,
looking like he had seen a ghost. And not the ones who lived in the castle either.
This was something she would have never guessed. He was longing, but for what
she did not know. Even his eyes were pleading with her, like nothing Hermonie
had ever seen. Could she really tell him no? He looked like as, es, even for Snape.

\"Very well, Professor.\"

She took them off her ankle, and laid a beautiful silver chain into his shaking
outstreched palm. Its many bells rang out at it dropped into his hand, and
when he closed his fist around the chain, his shaking all but stopped.
He looked at her with mercy in his eyes.

\'Merciful Merlin, thank you.\' He thought heavily, as the chain began to warm
against his skin. From somewhere inside he felt her. Severusw sow somewhere
in time she had touched this. Not long ago, judging from the feeling it
transmitted. \'Less than a year maybe?\'

The bell rang to signal the end of class, and Hermonie turned with a questioning
look. Students now scrambling to turn in their potions, but Snape was off
somewhere in his own mind.

Only thinking, hoping. \'Maybe she isn\'t dead after all. My love lives, she lives.\'

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Shaolin here, hope you are liking. Any suggestions?
Please review...i love it! My spell check is still dead,
but I can\'t keep from writing! So please keep
dealing with the bad spelling. I hope it\'s not enough
to put you off of my fic. Will be fixed soon! I swear!
(Hugs) PS Please check out DJ note on the first page if you
didn\'t see it! Enjoy...watch for updates!
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