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Chapter 29 Reborn



It was New Years day when Snape stormed into the headmaster’s office. He had left Harry sleeping soundly in their rooms. The boy had been doing well over the last few days. Severus watched as the shine in his eyes slowly returned. The elder man knew to count his blessings; Harry was the only form of joy in his miserable existence. He intended to do what ever was necessary to keep it that way. There hadn\'t been even the slightest hint of Marius’s whereabouts and Snape was furious. He was itching to try out some gruesome curses on his loathsome brother.



“So let’s get down to business.” Snape growled, looking around the room at the Order, as they gathered in the crowded study. He was more than displeased at the fact that their shortcomings had pulled him away from caring for Harry. “We don’t have the time to fuck around. Marius must be found and brought in immediately.” His tone remained steely. “What is this exactly? You were given this order over two weeks ago. Is anyone able to offer up a half-credible reason why we haven’t gotten him?” Snape was not prepared to accept any excuses, nor was he willing to allow anyone else the privilege of chastising the slacking members. Harry was still recovering from his wounds. While he was doing much better, he was still not healed completely and the man wanted to know why. He wanted to know at once.



“Might I remind you Severus that your brother has also proven incredibly difficult to track down in the past?” Minerva tried to answer the troubled man.



“No, you may not.” Snape retorted, his eyes filled with a kind of disgust. “We are only as strong as our smallest accomplishment. If we cannot find one man what hopes do we have of beating the greatest dark wizard of all time?” Sev’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the back of an armchair in front of him.



“Why aren’t you looking for your brother? It would stand to reason that you of all people would be able to locate him.” A woman who’s name Snape never cared to remember snapped at him. He drew breath for what was sure to be a menacing response before Albus stopped him.



“I have given Severus the task of caring for his bonded. Harry is in great need of protection. I also find that it is more prudent that everyone pay mind to the orders they have been given instead of questioning someone else’s. I assure all of you that Severus is where he belongs.” Albus crossed his arms.



“Headmaster, perhaps she has a valid, though unsolicited, point. I could--” Snape was cut off.



“No. I’ll not toy with that boy’s life any longer. Harry, as well as the other students, are our first priority. I know you want to find your brother. You’ve all been rather adamant about your desire to be in the field looking for him but I need the senior members here. Severus your bonded needs you here. I’m sorry but I have to forbid you from leaving the grounds for now.” His word was final.



“He’s put a leash on the pooches as well.” Atheena whispered to her brother, nodding back to Sirius and Lupin who where sulking towards the rear of the room.



“Then may I ask what your plan is Albus?” The Potion’s Master gritted his teeth. While he had no desire to leave Harry, he wanted desperately to find Marius and he was yet unsure as to whether or not he trusted the Headmaster’s plan for the task at hand.



“I was about to get to that, yes.” The elder wizard began to pace the room. “Four teams will be dispatched. Tonks and the twins have all but refused to do anything else. Atheena, Kingsly and Minerva will lead the other three. Each will have two other members. Atheena will be taking Ron and Hermione, as they have requested. Minerva will be accompanied by Charlie Weasley and Hagrid and Kingsley will take Bill and Fleur. Severus, you have primary responsibility of Harry. Sirius, Remus, you’ll be helping me guard the students who have remained at the castle. Hogwarts will not be back in session for quite some time I’m afraid. But we have students that have no where else to go, along with all of the members of the Order. I’ve requested that they all come to stay in the castle at once. Rachel will continue to work with Poppy. I’ll take report by fire call every night, from each team. You are all to use any means necessary. I’ve tried Ms. Granger’s spell. Marius has found a way to block it which I\'m quite sure none of us finds surprising.” Albus stopped behind his desk. “You’re all free to go.” He nodded rather strongly towards the door. All filed out, excluding Severus who stood staring at his boss.



“Ah…can I help you with something else my boy?” Dumbledore twisted a lemon drop out of its wrapper.



“What am I to tell Harry? His wounds are much better but I have no information on the dark mark. I can\'t begin to tell him why it took so long for him to heal. I can\'t give him a date as to when we’ll catch…” The man had begun to talk at a quickened pace. He hated this. If Lupin and Black were to stay at the castle Harry would be well cared for. The Order was right, he should be out looking for the man who had harmed his beloved.



“Severus…Severus…Harry doesn’t need to be made aware of those trivial bits of knowledge. I’d wager they are not the issues weighing too heavily on his mind. If I know that young man, which I do, he needs you. He needn\'t be bothered with any of this. He’s 17. He’s still newly bonded, which is easy for all of us to forget taking into account the last weeks. He should be planning a wedding, not worrying about Marius. Give him time to heal. Take your rooms and turn them into a home. A place he can be away from Marius and Voldemort…and the Order. Be his bonded Severus, not his Savior. There’s time for that later.” His wise eyes twinkled. He was completely satisfied with his own answer.



Snape fell into a chair, exhausted. “I don’t know how to help him Albus… I don’t know what to do or say about…” He paused to gather strength. He would be able to say it. “How do I calm the affects of his rapes when he’s watched me inflict similar fates to others? How do I…”



“You love him. There is a time when one must forget their past Severus…to move into their future. That time for you is now. You are no longer the same man. Don’t tackle obstacles the way that he would. Love him through it. He’ll let you know what’s right.” Albus’s eyes flickered to the door. “I might suspect that he’s waking. You should get back to him.” Snape didn’t speak as he left the office, dumbstruck at the notion of letting his heart lead over his head…how very Gryffindor.



“What will we do tonight?” Harry asked sleepily as he threw his legs over the side of the bed. He eyed Sev, who was leaning in the doorway. “With everyone gone?” Potter had taken the news that everyone he loved had emptied out of the castle in search of Marius exceptionally well.



“How would you like to bring in the New Year?” Sev smiled at his partner.



Harry smirked mischievously for the first time since his return. “I’d like you to surprise me. Be a romantic, Sev…I know it might be painful but…”



“I’ll have you know I have been recognized as quite the passionate partner when the occasion calls for it.”



“Remembering the lubrication spell isn’t…” Harry stopped himself. He hadn’t made a sexual reference since before his abduction. His eyes filled with a sort of fear.



Snape caught it quickly. “I’ll show you, Harry Potter. I’ll ask that you be prepared by Eleven O’clock this evening. You’ll have your romantic night love.” Sev crossed the room, placing a soft kiss on his lover’s forehead. “I’m going to have the house elves bring us breakfast while you shower.” Severus sighed as Harry disappeared into the bathroom. Romance. He had read of these unnecessary courting rituals. He had never himself taken part in such inane practices. Snape scoffed at the thought. What was the boy turning him into?



“Close your eyes.” Snape’s breath hit Harry in waves. The older man stood closely behind his bonded at the foot of the steps leading up the highest point of the castle.



“I’ll trip up the stairs.” Harry turned his face to smile at his partner. He pulled the strong hands around his waist and snuggled into the warmth of the other figure. “What’s up there?”



“Do as I say.” The silkiness of Sev’s voice commanded. It sent a shiver down Potter’s spine. His eyes closed slowly. “Do you trust me?” the dark man questioned softly.



“Always,” Harry answered with more feeling than necessary.



“Trust me to get you up the stairs. Keep your eyes closed.” Harry expected to be levitated by magical means; he was surprised when he was lifted into strong arms. Harry kept himself from drawing away from the close contact with the other man.



“What’s in the astronomy tower?” Harry’s voice was a hush when he was placed gently on his feet in front of the door that led to their outdoor classroom used for the study of the night skies.



“Keep your eyes closed.” Sev opened the door and guided Harry over its threshold. Harry could hear the harsh winter winds gusting around him, indicating that they were outside yet all he felt was a slight luke-warm breeze caressing his face. His lungs drew in the smell of the clean blowing snow. “Open them.” Steady hands were placed on Harry’s shoulders. He gasped at the light in front of him. The astronomy tower’s stone floor was covered in white flowers, a table sat in the middle of the circular tower, covered in a shimmering white cloth. Cream colored candles floated around the half-wall that ran along the edge of the tower. The table held trays of food, the centerpiece was a large oddly shaped vase filled with water, ever changing flames defied the laws of physics as they danced below the surface, emanating the perfect amount of light. A violin and cello began to play on their own accord in the furthest end of the overlook. Not a flake of snow made it past the parameter and despite the freezing temperatures the outside room remained comfortably toasty.



“Sev…” Harry gasped as he took it all in. He had never seen anything more beautiful. “I love magic.” A goofy grin spread across his face. He spun to face his lover, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “You did all of this? And here I expected flowers and a heart shaped box of chocolates.” Harry’s eyes swept over the scene once more. “This is amazing…I’ve never seen anything so…thank you.” Potter pressed himself into Snape in a fierce hug. “I love you," he whispered to his bonded. “I love you, Sev.”



“It’s up to your standards, I presume?” Severus hid his grin well, his expression remained emotionless as if conducting a business transactions.



“Why, Mr. Snape you’ve far and exceeded my expectations. This is bloody brilliant! You’ve done all of this for me?” Harry asked taking a closer look at the bewitched string instruments.



“It’s what you asked for Harry.” Snape took his lover’s hand. “You’ve had a most problematical year. Most of your woes pertaining to me; I wanted to give you a night free from concern. I wanted to bring in the New Year surrounded in purity so that you might begin to forget and forgive the darkness behind us.” Sev retained his ramose tone a moment longer until he felt a warm body against his, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “I wanted to give you a memory with me in it that didn’t cause you pain.” The older man whispered in his bonded’s ear. “I want this night to be our first memory together Harry. Can we let go of how I’ve failed you? Can we forget my neglect of the most precious gift I’ve been given? Please Harry…” His jaw was tight. None of this was like him. He found, at times, that loving Harry had turned him into a different man. His words, his actions, surprised even him. They felt strange and unfamiliar. They made his gut ache and caused an epic struggle within his mind as to whether or not he was softening as he aged. He also found himself musing that it happened to be the same thoughts that kept him warm at night. It was love that allowed him to rise each morning and while he could feel the tightness the relationship caused within him he also felt the freedom and hope that were beginning to take over. “Please…” Snape asked again, not meeting the emerald eyes burning into his.



“You’ve never failed me.” Harry shook his head and grinned kindly. “I’ve acted like a spoiled child and yes, I don’t like some of the things I know about you…but you’ve never failed nor neglected me. Through all of these years, Severus…it’s been you. You risked your life for me when you hated me. You’ve always been next to me, protecting me. “Never think it, Sev.” Harry pulled his fiancé away from the doorway, his hips beginning to sway to melodic instrumental that flooded his ears. “Dance with me.” Harry hummed.



“I don’t…” The stoic man began.



“Please.” Potter laughed, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight.



“I trust that news of it will remain in the astronomy tower?” Snape’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.



“Scout’s honor,” Harry swore.



A quizzical look took over Severus’s face. “What is a Scout? What….”



Harry chuckled, his feet followed his partner’s in a close dance. “It’s an American society…boys go with men into the woods and…” Snape’s eyebrow furrowed in disapproval. “No, they…well I don’t know what they do exactly but…never mind.” His smile grew broader. “You’re dancing.” His voice held unadulterated awe.



“I do have the ability it would seem.” Snape’s movements were graceful and precise. He held Harry close to him, his strong hand pressed firmly into the small of his Potter’s back, his right entwined in Harry’s fingers. They swept around the tower in small circles, their feet flowing in perfect sync.



“It’s hard to do this when you’ve only learned to lead.” Harry held tight to his lover. He fought steadily to keep his footing inline with the music.



“You’re keeping up splendidly.” The professor promised. Harry lost himself in the dance, in the heat of his bonded. They traveled around the tower, gazing into each other’s eyes, smiling slightly when they caught one another stealing a glance. Harry relished the feeling of his cheek pressed up against Snape’s hard chest; the music seemed to follow his heartbeat. He allowed himself to once again feel safe in the arms of his beloved. In those moments in the tower Harry was able to swallow what little resentment he still held for the former Death Eater. As the music washed over him it took with it the small hurts that he had been unable to release as of yet. Harry felt as if their combined soul was starting to mend itself. He felt closer to his bonded now than he had since his abduction.



“Our first memory?” He murmured after several minutes had past. “I can\'t do it.” Harry’s eyes met dark orbs. Sadness filled them. Worry lines etched themselves deeper into the tired face, hope fading away.



“I understand.” Snape’s reply was short and filled with regret. “It was too much to ask. How could you ever forget the things…” He shook his head. Why would he ever have thought the man could forget?



“You’ve misunderstood me…once again.” The younger man joked. “It can\'t be our first because I am not willing to give up any of the others. Good or bad, Sev. If you were in it I treasure it. I need it.” Harry kept them dancing. “I do think that this is a wonderful way to lay the past year to rest. We’ll start new and this year will be spectacular.” Harry placed a hand on his lover’s stubbled cheek. “I promise.” His whisper was carried on the last note of the melody that their bodies had traveled with.



“Shall we dine, Mr. Potter?” Severus gestured to the table. “We’re having lamb in a light mint sauce, pecan yams and bread pudding topped with braised plumbs.” Snape pulled out his bonded’s chair before taking his own seat opposite the young man.



“It’s certainly not the typical fare that we’re fed in the Great Hall is it?” Harry grinned as he cut off a small piece of lamb, his eyes closed as soon as the morsel hit his mouth. “This is amazing…” He savored the warm melding of flavors.



“It should be, I prepared it myself.” Severus drawled coolly without looking up from his plate.



“You?” Harry choked lightly, a smile spread across his face. “You can cook? You can cook this? Wait…you took the time to cook this?” The younger man was awestruck.



“Yes, Mr. Potter I cooked. One would assume it wouldn’t be such a jump from potions to the culinary arts. I am quite proficient in both skill sets, thank you for noticing.” Snape took several bites of his bread pudding, ignoring the rest of his meal. “I must say I have rather outdone myself on this occasion.” He nodded in agreement to himself.



“Sev, this…it means so much. You…you really went above and beyond. Thank you.” Harry’s eyes connected with his mate’s. “I didn’t know that you had this in you.” His face shown with emotion. His hand snuck to the other side of the table, entwining his fingers with the Potions Master. “I couldn’t have asked for a better New Year.”



“I’m glad it pleases you Harry.” The sentiment came through the small voice. “I have something for you.” Severus didn’t meet his lover’s stare as he reached into his robes and pulled out a small black box. “It did take some…” He thought of his words carefully, "Negotiating…the store wasn’t supposed to be open today but I thought that it was best that you received it this night.”



Harry stared at his lover, his heart beginning to race; logically he knew what the box held. It had only been a matter of time but his heart…his heart screamed to him that it was that very box that would make it all real. Once he opened it that was it, it would all be finalized. The thought terrified him. A shaky hand reached for the box. His fingers ran over the dark wood as he lifted the lid and looked inside. His engagement ring. The silver and rubies shined brilliantly in the candle light. He gasped as his eyes began to dance. He had forgotten how beautiful the ring was.



“Harry…may I?” Snape gestured, Potter thought he may have glimpsed a flash of fear across his bonded’s face.



“Y..yes.” The young man stuttered, his mind in a whirl. His lungs ceased function when the Potion’s Master took kneeled on one knee, taking the ring and Harry’s hand in his grasp.



“When you’re ready Harry Potter I would be honored if you’d do me the great honor of being my husband.” Severus slid the ring on the waiting finger, bringing soft lips to his own in a gentle kiss, not wanting to push it too far but needing to feel the warmth of his lover.



Harry squeezed Snape’s strong hand, running his tongue over the lips that touched his so tenderly. His newly adorned hand glided into torrents of black hair, holding them in a loving embrace. “June 15th.” Potter whispered, resting his forehead against Sev’s.



“What?” The professor questioned.



“It’s the day after graduation, it’s Sirius and Remus’s anniversary. I’d like to pay tribute to them. Will you marry me on June 15th?” The Gryffindor grinned.



“June 15th…it’s the perfect day Harry.” He fought back the urge to spew a callous remark about sharing an anniversary with those flea-bitten eternal martyrs. Snape returned to his meal. “So you’re feeling better then?” He queried, not raising his gaze from his lamb.



Harry took note that a cold tone had entered Severus’s voice. It was the tone he used before giving bad news. Harry knew it well. “Much. I’m a bit sluggish still but my wounds a really coming along. The mark is loads better.” Harry waited for it.



“Would you find yourself capable if I were to be gone for a short time? Perhaps a week?” Dark eyes remained on the table.



“I could care for myself if that’s what you’re asking. You’re not going to go running off in search of your brother are you? I don’t want you going at it alone.” Harry worried. His fork stabbed at a yam.



“No.” He answered simply. “I have a few errands I must run before the start of term, whenever that may be. I didn’t mean to cause you alarm. There are a sufficient number of people looking for Marius, I’ve no need to join them.” His expression remained neutral.



“You promise it?” Harry stared intently at the man.



“Harry, I’ve been given my orders. I’d do no better at finding him than the others. I’d ask you to accompany me but it’s not safe for you out there right now. You’re not at your full strength. Besides I’m rather sure you’d find the purchasing of potion ingredients to be tediously dull.” Snape finished with a reassuring half-smile.



“The only reason I’d find it dull is because it is.” Potter laughed, squeezing his bonded’s hand. “Go shopping for your newt eyes and crystallized viper stool. I’ll be safe and sound.” They continued their meal in silence, the sounds of winter and soft music caressing their ears.



When Harry finished his plate Severus drew him into a stand and pulled him towards the edge of the tower. “Trust.” He whispered once more, wrapping his arms around a slender waist. Snape guided Harry into a sitting position in front oh him. Two sets of legs hung over the severe ledge, hundreds of feet separating them from the cold ground. Snow blew around them and yet they remained in their perfectly warm bubble. Harry mused that it was the most beautiful view he had ever taken in. He focused on the feeling of his back pressed into a hard chest, the sound of soft breathing in his ear and the taste of the winter’s air. The lights from the castle’s many windows twinkled. The candle flames danced through their beveled glass panes making it appear as if Hogwarts was sparkling in the night. The moon bounced rays of white light off of the black lake illuminating the dark forest. The calls of far of creatures could be heard in the distance, mixed in with the merriment of the party happening in the Great Hall.



“It’s gorgeous here.” Harry rested his head against the taller shoulder of his mate, reveling in the safety. He jumped slightly as the loud chime of the castle clock released a deafening gong. Hoots and screams of laughter could be heard faintly from the Great Hall. Harry was comforted by the strong hand pressed firmly into his stomach.



“Happy New Year Harry.” The smooth, velvet voice cooed into Potter’s ear, sending the usual shiver down his spine.



“And many to come Severus.” Harry twisted his head so that his lips met his lover’s. There was nothing chaste about the kiss. Harry allowed his fears to fall, his walls to crumble, he put all of himself into their kiss. His tongue traced the inside of a hungry mouth, savoring the feel of hot lips on his. Snape hesitantly brought his free hand into the boy’s hair. Thanking whatever powers there were for the man in his arms. Harry shifted so that he sat sideways in his fiancés lap, pulling their embrace closer. Protective arms over took him, promising security. Harry allowed their kiss to continue through the minute of midnight chimes before breaking away. Sev’s breathing had grown heavy, his hands wondered hungrily over his lover’s body. “I’m sorry. I’m not ready for more. Not yet.” His eyes begged for forgiveness. “I want you…so badly.” A carefree laugh escaped. “There are moments when it\'s all that I can think of but I just can\'t yet. Don’t be…”



“Mad?” The Professor questioned. “Idiot boy. I would never.” The hug grew tighter. “I’ve learned to treasure your mere presence. When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting.” Snape twisted to set Harry on his feet. “You look as though you’re beginning to tire. Let\'s get down into bed, shall we?” He took Harry lightly by the hand.



“I hate to leave all of this. This was amazing Sev. It meant a lot.” The man hummed, his voice drained.



“Come Harry. Bed.” Potter smiled as his partner’s voice lost its warm touch. He had grown to know that this rarely meant that the man was upset, merely concerned. He followed the older man down what seemed like an impossible amount of stairs into their rooms, almost falling into the feather-softness of their bed. He felt warm blankets pulled around him and a kiss pressed into his scar. “I’m going to check on the others. Festivities amongst the faculty have been known to get out of hand. I’ll just have quick look. You rest. I’ll see you in the morning Harry.” The messy haired man simply nodded, already drifting off. Snape stopped at the doorway, glancing back at his bonded. “How I love you, Potter.” Snape whispered before he was gone.



“Harry…Harry…” A deep voice drew the Boy Who Lived from his sleep the next morning. He fought against the urge to wake, wanting nothing more than to spend the day in his warm, soft bed. “Harry, wake up.” Harry reluctantly woke, shaking off delicious memories of the previous night, disappointed that it had already ended. He pulled the blankets that had been tucked around him closer; remembering the care Sev had taken.



“Sirius.” He groaned rubbing his eyes tiredly as he sat up. “Merlin what time is it?” He reached for his glasses and pushed himself up in the bed. The fireplace still emanated comfortable warmth from the flames that had burst from Snape’s wand the previous night as he had seen Harry to bed.



“It’s after 9:00 Harry. You’ve missed breakfast. I haven’t seen Snape all morning. I wanted to see how you were feeling.” The marauder glanced around the rooms. “Where is the old miser anyway?” The man had lost his somberness and bounced playfully into the bed next to his godson.



Harry looked out of the window, watching the snow fall at ground level. A new start. That’s what he had been promised. He drew a relaxed breath before calmly answering. “Gone. He’s off to find Marius on his own.” He smiled slightly at the unopened brown envelope that was newly tucked carefully on his nightstand. Harry didn’t need to read it to know what it said. He was loved.



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