The Baby Project

Chapter Twenty Nine

'In a world full of people,
you can lose sight of it.
When the darkness inside you makes you feel so small'



The light flashed in his eyes before he had time to register exactly what was happening.
Everyone seemed to smile pleasantly to themselves, and he could see the surrounding
families doing almost exactly the same thing.

"I need another one," Janet told the teenagers, fussing at them with her Polaroid camera.
"Airyn wasn't looking at the camera properly."

Hermione sighed. "Mum, she's never going to look properly because you're
never going to have her attention for more than three seconds."

"Just one more," Paul butted in, almost being shoved out of the way from passersby on
the train platform. "Keep your mother from moaning about it all the way home."

Janet glared at her husband momentarily, and then looked back at the unlikely couple
in front of her. It was funny how nicely the two were matched together. They seemed to
compliment each other well, and the child nestling herself into Draco's chest
hadn't done them any harm, either.

"Say cheese!" she said excitedly, holding the polariod camera upto her eyes.

Draco glanced down at Granger momentarily, and then slowly put his arm
around her shoulder as Paul had instructed him to do two poses before this one.

Hermione looked up at him with a small smile.
Nothing really needed to be said between them in that moment.

The teens smiled slightly for the camera, but yet again Airyn paid no attention.

"She's just camera shy," Paul told Janet, before she got a chance to take another one.

"But this is the only time we'll ever get to see her," she almost wailed, fanning the
Polariod as the picture slowly came into view on the plastic paper.

Hermione felt a horrible shudder go through her momentarily. Best not to think about that yet.

"You had better get going," Paul told the pair. "The train will be leaving soon."

Janet enveloped her daughter in a hug, and then plucked Airyn from her
father's arms and started doting on her, a soppy smile on her face. Hermione
swore she could see tears starting to creep into her Mother's eyes.

Draco caught Mr. Granger's gaze.
The looked at each other momentarily, before Paul smiled at him and stretched
out his hand.
Draco took it without even contemplating the fact that a simple Muggle would
want to make physical contact with him.
They shook hands firmly, and Draco gave him a small smile.

Then he wasn't sure how it happened, but Paul had suddenly brought him
forward. Draco couldn't quite describe what it was like to get a hug from
another man, let alone a Muggle. But it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it didn't feel bad at all.

"Look after her," Paul whispered to him.

"I will," Draco told him. "She's my baby."

Paul chuckled. "I meant my baby."

Draco brought himself back slightly, until the two had let go of each other.
He looked to the side of him, to see Granger standing there, conversing with
her mother whom seemed to be struggling to let Airyn go.

"I know."

Paul gave him a small smile, and a nod of approval.
As far as he was concerned, Draco Malfoy had finally shown his true
colours... and they were neither black nor white. They were something
in between that seemed hard to figure out, but once you unraveled the
mystery, you found someone with a lot of determination to prove themselves.

Hermione finally dragged herself away from her mother.
She looked over at Draco, to find him smiling slightly at her.

She smiled back. "We should get going."

Draco nodded, taking Airyn in his arms once again, fixing the baby blue
frills on the bottom of her dress.
"What time is she due her feed?" he asked Hermione as they started moving
away from her parents.

"In about an hour, maybe a little less-"

"Wait!" came a cry from behind them.

They both looked around to see Paul running towards them, a parcel in his hands.

"Here," he said as he reached them, and handing the parcel to Draco.

Draco gave Airyn to Hermione, who smiled slyly and carried on walking slowly
towards the train barrier.

"What's this for?" Draco asked curiously, seeing that the wrapping paper on
the package had a big fat man in a red suit looking at him.

"Something to remember us by," Paul told him, laughter in his voice.

As Mr.Granger slowly walked back to his wife, Draco began to unwrap the package.

He smiled to himself. Oh, what could possibly be a better send off?
The Grangers had bought him a children's play piano.


____________________________________________________________


"There she is!"

"Call her in here, she might want to come and sit-"

Ginny frowned. "She's walking right past the compartment!"

"Ron, you're nearest the door," Harry said. "Shout her in."

Ron wasn't quite sure what to do.
He could feel himself breaking out into a sweat on his forehead, and he was
sure that the others were looking at him suspiciously for sitting there and saying nothing.

"She probably wants to go and sit with Malfoy and his cronies," Ron answered, looking anywhere but at the door.

Ginny eyed him suspiciously.
She knew something was terribly wrong with her brother; he had been acting
weird since that night at Hermione's house. Now he was showing even greater signs of distress.

"Oh, for God's sake..." Harry muttered, getting up from his seat and handing baby Freddie
over to Ginny. He made his way to the compartment's sliding doors and looked out of them.
Too late; Hermione was now nowhere to be seen.



________________________________________



"I could hear them calling you."

"I didn't hear anything."

"Don't lie, you just don't want to face Weasley."

Hermione sat in an empty compartment with Malfoy and Airyn. As they had boarded the train
she could see flecks of glowing red hair every now and again, and tried her best to avoid it.
She knew there was no use trying to hide it from Malfoy since he seemed to see right through her.

"It's not that," she told him, looking down into her arms as she bounced Airyn lightly in her
lap. "I just want to sort things out with him before I have to be around him and the others,” she
said truthfully. "I just don't want them seeing us being off with one another."

Draco made a disapproving sound at the back of his throat. " So you don’t intend for them to ever find out? Whenever they do then he deserves everything he gets."

Hermione glared at him slightly. "Can we not talk about this, please? It's not a conversation I feel entirely comfortable with."

Draco chose to stay quiet. If he said what he really wanted to say then he knew Granger
would probably not want to speak to him for the rest of the train ride.

Hermione glanced at him from the corner of her eye. It had started yesterday.

It was the day after that night.
The one when passion seemed to overcome them almost instantly.

Afterwards, Hermione had left a sleeping Draco in his bed and she had walked
back to her own bedroom.
She felt guilty for not having been with Airyn, but surely mothers and fathers
couldn't be with their children every living hour of the day? Nevertheless,
she still felt a pang of guilt.

Throughout the rest of the night there were the usual night feeds, nappy
changes and spontaneous crying. She didn't mind it much, considering it took
her mind from her restless sleep, and allowed her to think about something other
than Draco Malfoy.

But then morning came. And along with it came a friend: embarrassment.

During breakfast she couldn't look at him. She knew he was trying to make eye contact
with her, but for some reason she just couldn't do it.
She felt like the night before had been something that they were never meant
to do; or at least something that SHE was never meant to do.

Was it the way he had been with her? No... he was actually quite a gentleman.

Was it the fact that he had touched her in her most intimate places?
No... after all, it was not the act itself that had gotten her so embarrassed.

It was the way she had reacted towards his touch.
The way he would ask her to say something, and she would do it without a thought otherwise.
The way she willingly let those little moans slip past her lips.

She knew he remembered it, and that was the worst thing.
She wondered if she had embarrassed herself by getting carried away in the moment.

Were girls supposed to enjoy it that much? Were girls supposed to voice that they liked it that much? Whatever the answer was, she certainly wasn't going to ask Malfoy.

And so they had been a little uncomfortable with each other since that night.
Hermione seemed to get the impression that Malfoy felt the same way, because
at times within the past two days he had been rather grumpy with her.

And to think; she had said his name.
His real name, and not just his last name.
Maybe that was what had thrown him off... actually hearing her say it...

Draco stared at her from his place on the opposite side of the compartment. He had to smirk
at the position he was currently in. He knew exactly what Granger was thinking, and he didn’t
really blame her either considering she was new at this sort of thing.

He was rather disappointed to find himself alone in his bed the other morning.
At first he thought she had fled in the middle of the night out of pure
embarrassment and regret. But there was the thought of Airyn in the back of
his mind, and he knew that the reason that she left was probably a mixture of both.

His fingers burned slightly where he had touched her. A burning sensation that he knew would
grow stronger the next time it happened... and he knew full well there would be a next time.
The seeds had been planted now, and there was no going back.

After a few minutes silence, Hermione decided that she couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry," she told him quietly. "I don't mean to be off with you, I just have a lot on my mind."

Draco shrugged his shoulders.
"At the end of the day, I'd rather you be off with me than ignore me altogether."

Hermione looked over at him. "I've not been ignoring you."

Draco chuckled quietly. "Not intentionally, you haven't," he told her, cracking his knuckles
absentmindedly. "But I realised that with your little disappearing act the
other morning, that you're probably feeling a little embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed." The blush on her cheeks, however, betrayed her words.

"That's a bare-faced lie, and you know it," he told her, staring at her flaming cheeks.
"But I wouldn't expect anything less, considering you've never really done that sort of thing before."

Hermione glared at him.
"I don't want to have this conversation, either," she told him sternly, holding Airyn closer to her.

Draco smirked at her. "I didn't think you would, but that doesn’t mean that
it won't happen somewhere along the line."

Hermione chose not to listen to him.
At this moment in time she really didn't need this conversation. Maybe she
would be ready when she was actually able to contemplate the aftermath of
the situation and exactly what has transpired between them... but until she
was ready to face the light, her instincts were telling her to avoid it.

Draco took her silence as an understanding that she wasn't ready to speak about it.
He understood; she needed to take her time with this one.
He would be there when she was ready to let it all out.

Instead, he rested his head on the back of the leather seat and closed his eyes for a moment.
Instantly, Draco could hear the dull sound of Hermione's breathing, and the
small sounds coming from Airyn. It relaxed him immediately, and he
decided to forget about his current Granger-associated-problem, and realised
that he really felt the need to contemplate his own problem:

The Granger-associated-problem that had to be contemplated rather more
vigorously than the rest of them; HOW he had been able to fall for the girl.

"Screw it," he said under his breath, putting one arm over his eyes and
forgetting to think about anything at all except the movements of the train.
He would think about everything when he wasn't in her presence... he hoped that would make it easier.



_____________________________________



"Home sweet home."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Placing her jacket on the back of the chair in
their conjoined head-study, she looked over to see Malfoy throwing Airyn up
into the air playfully, and then catching her again, a big grin spread upon his face.

"Airyn needs a bottle, and then she needs to be put down."

Draco gave her an odd look with his eyes. "Put down? She's not a dog, Granger."

Hermione glared at him. "You know what I mean."

Draco brought Airyn into his chest protectively, still bouncing her up and down slightly.
"Did you hear that, kid?" he asked her comically. "Your mum wants to put you down."

Hermione could not help the small smile that spread across her face.
This was the Malfoy she knew. The one who cared for his daughter, and liked
to banter with her and give as good as he got... she wasn't used to the
Malfoy who wanted to talk about the innocent part of her. The part she was
supposed to share with someone who wasn't Malfoy.

It was funny how quickly life could do a number on you.

"I’ll take her for a bath," Hermione announced, walking over to him and holding out her arms.

Draco pulled a face, drawing Airyn even closer to him. "How do I know you're not planning on drowning her?"

Hermione's eyes widened. "What the bloody hell gave you that idea?"

"The same one that you had when you were thinking about putting her down..." he told her with humour in his tone.

Hermione shook her head. "You're an imbecile."

"Thank you."

Draco kissed the top of his baby’s head, and then handed her over.
He watched Hermione walk towards the bathroom, and disappear behind the door.

WHY was this so hard?
If she was any other girl, he could walk up to her and basically list all of
her faults in the bedroom and then walk away without a care in the world. It
was obviously not like that with Granger. She had no faults. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe he needed to get the full effect before he felt the tension between them lift?
God knows he would have liked nothing better than to throw her down onto the
nearest hard surface and give her one... but no, suddenly he had grown a
conscience... stupid bloody thing, that was.

He had spent many a night with a rather nice looking girl, and still had no problems
getting up in the morning and getting her out of his bed and his thoughts straightaway.
He knew right off the bat that it would not be that way with Granger. Not
even after their very first encounter...for some unfathomable reason, she
interrupted his thoughts more and more.

Draco shook his head from his thoughts and walked towards the window, seeing
the lamp-lights lit around the Quidditch pitch. The glass pane steamed up
instantly as Draco leaned his forehead against it, feeling a cooling sensation hit him.

Hermione Granger ultimately had him exactly where she wanted him... at a loss.

How did this happen?
How did he go from loathing the girl to... lusting after her? Was that what
it was called? Did he lust after Granger, or did it go deeper than that?

Draco felt that he would be in too deep if he answered that question.

The tricky thing with Granger was the fact that it was hard to know exactly
how she would react to things. He never really knew where her opinions stood
from day to day, and sometimes he wondered whether her opinions of him
changed from day to day, too.

Draco squinted and tried to make out the dark object out on the Qudditch pitch.
For a moment he thought he saw someone flying around out there, but -

Actually, he was right.
And even from his place by the window, a good distance from the pitch, he
could still make out the unmistakable sight of that flaming red hair...

His anger returned full force.
For a moment, he almost wished that Hogwarts would allow apparitions just so
he could go down to that pitch and knock shit out of the prick.

'I bet he hasn't even had the guts to admit to anyone else what he's done...' Draco
thought to himself, sneering evilly and keeping his eyes directly on the red-head.

"What's so interesting out there?" a voice came from behind him.

"Him," Draco answered coldly.

Hermione didn't need to ask who 'he' was... she knew simply from Draco's reaction.
She didn't answer, and instead sat down on a chair and began to rub Airyn's
back smoothly, as it was covered by the soft-flannel baby towel.

"Do you think he's told your friends?" Draco asked her.

Hermione kept her eyes on the roaring fire in the common room.
Not this conversation again...
"I wouldn't know. I've not spoken to any of them yet and-"

"I'll take that as a 'no', then," he asnwered her bitterly. "Otherwise, your
brave Gryffindors probably would have come to your aid and begged you to forgive him."

Hermione looked over at him. "And why would they do that?"

Draco shrugged, keeping his eyes on the king of Weasels. "Because that's what you lot do
isn't it? You can't go falling out with each other because you’re like one big happy family."

"Why can't you let it go?" she asked him quietly.

He looked around at her then. "How can you let it go? Apparently I'm the only one who seems to know what the word 'justice' means."

Hermione's eyes gave him a look of complete and utter loathing for a second.
"It's not like you've never tried it on with a girl who wasn't interested, Malfoy."

Draco's eyes grew wide. What exactly was she insinuating?

"Who told you that?" he asked her angrily.

Hermione started cuddling Airyn protectively.
"It was floating around in fifth year," she answered him quietly, glancing at anything other than him.

Draco shook his head, laughing slightly.
"Maybe you should try getting the whole story before you go around spreading nasty diseases like that."

"I didn't spread-"

"I don't give a shit," he cut in before she had a chance to explain. "I would
NEVER intentionally come onto someone who blatantly didn't want me. Pushing
my luck is something I do in school, Granger... it's not something I actually try on human beings."

Hermione started to feel guilty. She knew she should never have opened her mouth.

"I took Janice Cullington to her OWN bed that night, because I was a prefect and SHE
had had too much to drink during a stint in a drinking game with a few other Slytherins,"
Draco told her, slowly getting close to her. "I left her there, but by morning she was
claiming that I had come back into her room later on that night and forced myself on her."

Hermione listened intently. Back in fifth year it had been a popular story that was passed
around the houses. Malfoy had gotten into ALOT of trouble for the
accusations, but as far as she knew he had always pleaded his innocence.

"Everyone blamed me, naturally," he continued. "But what else could I do? I
wasn't about to rat out a friend."

Hermione eyeballed him then. "What?"

"Theodore Knott was the one who raped her. He was drunk... I just never told anyone because
I'm a better friend than that."

Hermione could not believe what she was hearing.
"Are you really telling me that you didn't get your name in the clear
because you wanted to protect a friend?" she asked him, utter shock showing on her face.

Draco shrugged. "What’s wrong with that? You're doing exactly the same."

Hermione stood up, still clutching Airyn to her, who was slowly starting to
whimper. "My situation is completely different."

"How?" he asked her. "You're unwilling to tell someone about Weasley, just
the same as I'm unwilling to tell anyone about Knott."

"But you don't have a choice, Malfoy!" she told him angrily. "It's not your
choice to make! Janice deserves to know exactly WHO raped her!"

"And everyone needs to know that Weasley ALMOST raped you!"

Hermione let out a cry of frustration.
"I really can't be doing this right now, Malfoy," she told him angrily,
pushing past him and walking towards the steps to her dorm room. "I'm taking
Airyn to bed and staying there myself."

Draco laughed.
"Oh yeah, that’s right... run away from confrontation! That's what you're good at!"

Hermione almost looked saddened by his words.
"What do I have to confront when you're putting it all out there for me?"

"You need to grow up Granger... live in the real world," he told her, his tone like acid.

"I've lived in the real world all of my life, Malfoy" She told him, finally
turning to the stairs. "Maybe it's time you started."

He watched her disappear up the stairs.
That aching in his heart was back ten-fold. He really had no idea just how
much it hurt to have a real argument with Hermione Granger.

But what hurt the most was the fact that he knew she had been hurt by his words.


____________________________________



Three hours later and Hermione was still awake.
Airyn had taken her bottle and settled down, but half an hour later she was crying again and hadn't stopped since.

Hermione had paced the room about a million times, and still could not calm down her little girl.
Nappies had been changed and more bottles had been given, and still she would not settle.

So now Hermione sat in the middle of the bed, cradling Airyn in her arms and rocking her slowly.

She thought she would be more distressed by the crying, but in truth her previous conversation
with Malfoy had basically thrown her through a loop. Between Airyn’s crying and her own
thoughts screaming at her, she wasn't sure how much more she could take.

Why did Malfoy feel the need to cover for a friend who had done something wrong?
And why did he even dare to compare his situation to her own?

Airyn let out an ear piercing scream which almost made Hermione jump out of
her skin. Hermione instantly got out of the bed and started pacing once
again, putting Airyn onto her shoulder and rubbing her back.

Her thoughts turned to Draco Malfoy once more.

Why did he always feel the need to get on her back about everything? He was
certainly no angel himself, so what right did he have to speak down to her like that?
Maybe it was just his Malfoy ways coming out of him once again... but he knew
damn well that she had never liked it.

Airyn wasn't letting up.
Hermione realised that her daughter had never cried this long before,
and it was starting to unnerve her. There was something about the crying
that seemed different to her usual tone... it sounded panicked and distressed.

Maybe she could feel the tension between her Mum and Dad?
Professionals did claim that children could pick up on tension caused
between people... maybe her anguish was part of the reason for why she was crying?

"Airyn, what's wrong eh?" Hermione asked her daughter gently, taking her
from her shoulder and cradling her once again in her arms. Her baby was red
in the face from her screaming, and she looked like she was nowhere near from stopping.

Was it her? Did Airyn not like her?

Hermione sat back down onto the edge of the bed.
Maybe if she went and got Malfoy, he might know what to-

'Not a chance,' came an agitated voice in her head. 'Going and
asking Malfoy for help now would practically be like admitting defeat to
yourself.'

But she needed help.

'You can do it on your own,' her inner voice chided her. 'You don't
need Malfoy's help... prove it to yourself.'

How was she supposed to calm down a baby who was clearly not responding to her?

'What does it matter? You'll find a way... just DON'T ask Malfoy.'

Airyn kept up her relentless crying.
If she didn't stop soon, Hermione felt that she was going to lose her mind.

So she did the only thing that she knew she would be able to do.
She let her own tears fall with her daughter's cries.


______________________________



Draco had been sitting in the Common Room for what had seemed like hours.
Having had time to think about the current situation, he realised that
getting angry at Granger solved nothing... and now his sub-conscious was
telling him to do the right thing and apologise.

It wasn't her fault that Weasley had tried to take advantage of her in her drunken state.
And she wasn't at fault for wanting to keep this little secret from her
friends... it was her decision to make on the subject, and he really did not have any say in it.

Sure, it pissed him off to think about Weasley's hands and lips on
hers... touching her and breathing the same air as her...

'Prick deserves to die.'

But she had spoken some truth to him tonight.
She was just as guilty as he was for hiding things for ones own personal
sanity. Even now, Janice Cullington could never look him in the eyes.
Sometimes he wanted to blurt the truth out to her... but in doing so, he was
betraying someone whom he had an alliance to... and that made things difficult.

Dwelling on past events really did him no good, but as he sat there on the cough with
his head in his hands, he realised that it was all he ever really did. Whenever he looked
back, he always thought of ways to rectify past mistakes… and tonight he was thinking
of nothing but his and Granger's last conversation.

What the hell had happened to him?
He felt like he was losing his touch. Is this what happened when men became
fathers? All sorts of psychological walls being knocked down left, right
and center? Barriers being pushed beyond their limits? Draco felt himself
wanting to step over a threshold of life that he wasn't sure he wanted to explore yet...

He lay his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes.

Nighttime was his favourite part of the day.
It was the only time of day when he felt he had control. It was the time of
day when his emotions could be let loose, and yet still remain captive within him and controlled.

Draco could hear the crackling of the fire, and along with it he could also
hear the screaming cries of his baby girl somewhere in the background.

'How long has she been doing that for?' he wondered absentmindedly.
'Has Granger actually heard her?'

Well obviously, Draco. The whole bloody school could probably hear her.

He got up from the couch and went to the foot of the stairs where the
Head Girl’s room was situated.
He winced instantly from the sound of the squealing. Airyn was really kicking up a fuss.


____________________________________


Hermione didn't even bother to look up when she heard her bedroom door open.
Neither did she make a movement, curled up on her pillows at the top of her
bed as Draco entered the room.

His first thought was to chastise Hermione for just leaving Airyn in her cot
to squeal like a dying pig, but he instantly thought better of it when he saw the state of the girl.
Her hair was a mess from where she had obviously been trying to use it as
some kind of sound-block for her ears from Airyn's screaming. Hermione's face
was red and blotchy from where she seemed to have been crying, and even as
he approached the bed, she didn't even open her eyes and acknowledge him.

He instantly went to the crib and gathered his baby up into his arms,
smothering her with kisses over her forehead.
"What's all this?" he asked her softly. "What's getting my little girl all worked up?"

Her only answer was more crying.

Draco walked over to Hermione's side of the bed with Airyn and looked down at her sternly.
"Is there a reason for why she was left alone in the crib without you to calm her down?" He asked her.

Hermione said nothing. Instead, she just shook her head and turned her back on her make-shift
family.

Draco glared at her. "Shirking more responsibility now, are we Granger?" he asked her, his voice
icy with a slight hint of disgust.

Again, she did nothing but shake her head.

Draco felt his temper rise. How long had Airyn been left like this whilst Granger moped around?
"Do I have to remind you that when my daughter is in your care, she is your responsibility?"

Hermione let out a small sob. "Leave me alone, Malfoy," she said finally. "Take Airyn with you and just get out."

Draco almost went to oblige, but something stopped him.
It was the tone of her voice... she was definitely distressed.

Draco hesitantly sat on the end of her bed, putting Airyn's head on his
shoulder. From where he sat he could see the slight shake of Granger's body
as she tried to keep her crying hidden from him.

Quietly, and unlike himself, he spoke. "What's wrong?"

She didn't answer once again. Losing his patience, he asked her again.
"I know there's something wrong with you," he told her. "But if you don't
tell me, then how am I supposed to help you?"

Silence ensued. Draco was about to give up and leave the room with his daughter. But then he
slowly saw Granger's body turning in his direction.
When she was fully turned around he could see her face was all puffed up from crying.

"She hates me," Hermione told him through her snotty nose.

Without meaning to, Draco laughed. "Who hates you? Airyn?"

Hermione nodded, closing her eyes again.
"She won't let me put her to sleep, and she just doesn't want to respond to me."

Draco smirked. "Granger, she's a baby. Babies don't hate anyone, they just don't stop
crying until they've gotten what they want."

Hermione sniffled and opened her eyes to look at him.
"But I don't know what she wants," she told him, wincing again when Airyn let
out another cry. "I've tried everything and she still won't settle."

Draco rubbed his babies back soothingly.
"Just keep going," he told her quietly. "Either she will stop when she gets
what she wants, or she will wear herself out with crying and fall asleep eventually."

Hermione finally sat up. Apparently their little spat before had been forgotten,
as right now the needs of their child came first.
After Hermione had started crying, her body gave up on her, and she decided to just put Airyn
back into her crib and curl up on her own bed and will the crying to stop.
Of course, it was a stupid idea, but it allowed Hermione to be the
one who was less independent for a change... something that she had not been for a long time.

"You don't have to cry about it," Draco told her. Hermione looked at him,
feeling a fresh batch of tears waiting to spill from her eyes. For some
reason, she was no longer crying over Airyn, and instead she could feel her
mind thinking about everything over the past few months. Everything that had
transpired since the birth of her daughter... it all decided to come piling
on top of her right at that very moment, and she found herself overwhelmed by
different types of emotions.

Draco visibly winced when he saw her start to cry again.
So now he had two crying women to look after? Jesus, this was harder than he first imagined.

"E-everything is j-just piling on top o-of me and I c-can't take it," she managed to get out.

"Like what?" Draco asked her curiously, noticing that Airyn's cries were getting a decibel quieter.

"Everything," she repeated, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. "Airyn, Ron, my friends, you..."

Draco closed his eyes momentarily. So he had made her cry, had he?

"My mind has gone into overload and it just won't stop," he continued. "For
the first time in my life, I feel like I'm not in control of anything anymore."

Draco knew how she felt. He had felt that way since Airyn’s birth.
Slowly getting up from the bed, holding Airyn's head gently on his shoulder,
he took the baby to her crib and settled her down in there for a moment
while he spoke to her mother. She was still crying, but Draco was pretty
sure that her cries were decreasing, and she was tiring.

"Explain," Draco announced finally, perching himself on the bed on the other
side of Hermione.

She said nothing for a few minutes and just sobbed to herself. Draco found
it very uncomfortable; a girl had never cried in front of him before, and he
was not sure how to handle it properly. Did he comfort her with words? Did
he comfort her physically?

This was the reason why Slytherins, and men in general, tried not to
show emotion. Too much mess came out of the situation for them to handle,
and so they avoided it at all costs.

"Airyn started crying and wouldn't stop, so I thought that she wasn't
responding to me because she didn't like me," Hermione started, sniffling
through her sentence. "And then that lead me to mental breakdown, thinking
about everything that had gone on lately with Ron, and how I should really
feel about the situation." Draco made a noise at the back of his throat that
sounded not unlike a growl. "And then once I had thought about that, I
thought about you and what was happening."

Draco held his breath for a few seconds.
He could pretty much explain the first two problems... but for some reason, it
was the problem concerning himself that he wasn't sure if he could answer.

"I'm not trying to defend him. I'm just trying to sort it out. In some cases sorting it out simply
means ignoring that it ever happened. What he did wasn’t right, but neither of us was in our
normal state. Ron was my friend," Hermione told him quietly. "At one point I really
thought he could mean more than that to me, but I don’t think it would have ever worked."
Hermione looked over at Draco slowly, trying her best to hide her blotchy face from his
view. "I've known him since I was 11 and he’s always been there for me. What do you do with
an emotion like friendship, when it gets mistaken for something else?" she
asked him as though he knew the answer.

Draco thought for a minute.
"Look, I'm not a girl so you really can't expect me to answer that. I don’t think like you do.” He gave her the
tiniest of smirks. "But I guess if your friendship matters to you, then you should make it work."

Hermione eyed him suspiciously. "You changed your tune."

Draco shrugged. "I've done some thinking is all."

"What about?" she asked him.

Draco looked at her, searching her eyes. "This isn't about me," he told her, looking awkward.

No one really asked him about himself. She was the only one bold enough to know that
she could overstep the mark and not be bitten down.

"But it is," she told him. "After thinking about Ron, I thought about you too."

Draco suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Wasn't this the conversation he had
wanted to have with her since the other night? The one she had refused to
have with him? So why did he want to change the subject and forget about it?

Before Draco had a chance to protest, Hermione began to speak. "The other night was
something I will never forget. I know it probably didn't mean anything to you, but to me
it was my first experience." She watched Draco's face pale, and he daren’t meet her eyes.
"This thing that is going on between us is something that I can’t explain, and I don’t want
to figure it out." Draco looked up at her then. "I just want to see where it takes us,
instead of thinking about the ins and outs and getting even more confused than I already am."

Draco frowned. "What do you mean?"

Hermione wasn't sure where all of this bravery had come from, for her to be
able to speak these words to him.
"I mean that whatever this thing is…" She breathed heavily before finishing.
"I want to see where it takes us without worrying about it or analyzing it."

Her eyes were closed as she spoke.
She knew she had to bite the bullet, and she knew that if she did not do it
tonight then she probably never would.
She was more than aware that she had feelings for him, but at the moment she
would rather see where these feelings led her than constantly have them on
her brain and be worrying about them.

Draco gave her a small smile when she opened her eyes again.
"That sounds alright to me," he told her.

Did she mean no strings attached? See where it takes them and then if it
doesn't work out then it was never meant to be?
Whatever she meant, he was glad that she had finally been able to get it out in the open.

They stared at each other for a few more minutes as the tension crackled
between them within the room.
Draco suddenly felt the urge to crawl along the bed towards her and take her
by surprise and smother her with kisses for no good reason, but her eyes
adverted from his and looked elsewhere as a smile suddenly rose to her lips.

"Listen," she told him.

Draco did as she told him. "What am I supposed to be listening to?" he asked her curiously.

Hermione smiled widely at him. "Nothing."

And she was right.
Airyn was no longer screaming, and was currently sleeping off her tantrum in her crib.

"That's like music to my ears," he told the Head Girl quietly, as they both
moved from the bed and walked over to peer over the top of the crib. Her
small face was finally at peace, and as she lay there in sleep, her right
hand had curled itself around her ear.

Hermione smiled in satisfaction.
"I like her best when she's like this," Hermione told him truthfully. Without
thinking, she put her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Draco had to agree. She looked like a little angel when she slept.
He spontaneously put his arm around Hermione's shoulder without thinking about it.
Only after a few moments did the pair realise what position they were in,
and feeling uncomfortable they both backed away a little.

But why? Hadn't they just said that they would see where it leads them?

'Maybe it's too close after the conversation to tell yet,' Draco thought to himself.

Hermione smiled at him.
"Thank you for tonight." She wasn't sure if she should hug him or not. They
may have admitted that they had some type of feelings for each other, but
they had never really expressed anything openly with intention before...

"You’re welcome," Draco told her, smiling back.

They looked at each other for a few more minutes, not knowing what to do with themselves.

Draco sighed. "Fuck it," he said out loud, before reaching for Hermione and pulling her to
him and kissing her deeply on the lips.

She wasted no time in opening up to him, feeling his tongue slip in to
explore her own. She instantly ruffled his hair with her hands, as his own
went down to the bottom of her back to hold her closer to him.

He couldn't get enough of this. Not since the first time.

This time it was different, however. Without realising it, Hermione had lead
Draco back against one of the four walls in her dormitory. As his head
slammed against the brick, he realised that the kiss was getting deeper and
that Hermione was exploring more of him than she ever had before.

Her hands traveled down the expanse of his chest, feeling the muscles
twitch beneath her fingertips. She took her lips away from his and went for
his neck, which she found to be a very sensitive place on him as he groaned
in the back of his throat.

"Christ..."

Hermione smirked.
She never thought she would have the courage to do this, but it had suddenly
come from nowhere, and she liked it.
Her fingers had traveled lower, and before she knew it they were resting
against the buckle on his belt. She felt her fingers freeze. What did she do
now? After she removed the belt there would be nothing stopping her from
daring to do what she wanted to... but did she dare to do it?

Draco answered that question for her.
Reaching down, he took her hand softly in her own, and used his other hand
to turn her chin up to him to look into her eyes.
He could feel her body tense up as she had felt the buckle between her
fingers, and he instantly knew that she was not ready for that yet.
When she was, he would be the one to teach her.

He reached down and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose.
She smiled back up at him, looking slightly embarrassed. He smiled back, as
if signaling that she had no reason to feel that way.

"I'll wait," he told her, almost as if he knew what she was thinking. "When
you're ready, I'll show you."

She nodded in understanding.
And with that, realisation dawned on her that he would be her first.

In the end, it would be Draco Malfoy who would eventually take her virginity.

Slowly he let her go and moved from the wall.
"It's late and we have classes tomorrow," he told her, almost as if he didn't
want to say the words. "I should really get back to my room and get some sleep."

Hermione studied him for a moment.
What did she do? Did she let him leave, or did he tell him that she wanted him here, with her?

"Stay," she told him in a small voice, looking slightly awkward.

Draco looked into her eyes. "You want me to stay?"

Hermione realised what it must have sounded like, and faltered.
"No, I meant-" She drew a breath and started again. "Airyn seems to settle
better when you're here with me... so if you wanted to, you could sleep in here tonight."

Draco understood.
It was true that their child slept better when both of them were with
each other... maybe it was because she sub-consciously knew that they weren't arguing.

"Okay," Draco agreed, giving her a small smile.

"I don't mean any funny business," she told him when he give her a smirk.

He shrugged with a smile on his face. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Hermione took her eyes from him and looked over at the bed.
"Well, I usually take the left-hand side, so feel free to take the right."

Draco frowned. She was letting him sleep in the bed? Well, that was something he hadn't
counted on.

Draco chuckled. "But I also sleep on the left hand side."

Hermione, who was currently pulling down the covers on the bed, turned and
gave him a small glare.
"Well, you'll just have to deal with it," she told him matter-of-factly,
sounding more and more like her old self again by the second.

Draco couldn't help but smile at that. "Yeah, I guess I will."


_______________________________________



As both teenagers lay in bed that night, face to face... so close but yet not
quite touching, they were undisturbed by the bright-blue light coming from
the crib, glowing and throbbing.

As the bright light emitted from the tiny space, the whole room glowed in a
miraculous fountain of colour, forcing every shadow into light.

They were both so tired that neither woke as the transformation took place.
Not until the next morning, while intending to feed their young offspring did they
notice anything out of the ordinary.

Gasps and amazement filled the room as they looked at a little girl.

Sitting in an upright position in her crib was a small girl with tiny blond
ringlets for hair, innocently playing with her rattle and smiling up at
them with her sparkling silver eyes and toothless mouth.

Airyn had become a ten month old.


_________________________

Authors Note:
Sorry for the delay guys.
My step mum got quite ill from her chemotherapy and she was in hospital because of her blood levels...
well, she's out now and resting at home and the colour is coming back into her face so she is getting better.
Thankyou for everyone who has been so supportive!
I don't like to think of my situation as a way to get sympathy, but i thought you all deserved to know why it had taken me so long to update (besides my writers block).

Anyway, I've done chapter 30 too, but my new beta Ashley is working out all the kinks before i post it.
I hope no one is getting impatient. I'm writing as it comes now instead of making time for it.
With my step mum being ill i think its more important to look after her.


I would just like to say thankyou to everyone who has reviewed because every single one of you spur me on!

Till next time,
thanks again!!

xx