Saving your life

“I don’t care what you say, Snape. You are a traitor and a murderer. And you,” he yelled, turning to Hermione, “I can’t believe you. He is the reason my parents are dead, the reason Sirius is dead, and he even killed Dumbledore himself. What on earth were you thinking?!” and with that, he got up and strode to the door, glaring at everyone on his way, and closely followed by Ron.

“Harry, wait,” she said, but the boy wouldn’t listen, so she sighed and followed him out of the room.

“Harry,” she repeated as she reached them. “Harry, wait, it’s not what you think.”

“What is it then?” he asked angrily, finally turning to face her. “You were working with him, helping him. You’ve been lying to us all this time.”

“That’s not what,” she said, but stopped when she heard a door open again, and the rest of the Order walked out of the room. “Come,” she whispered, pleadingly, and dragged Harry into the library, to an empty corner, and out of earshot.

“I was just trying to help you, Harry. I didn’t know it was him,” she said. She didn’t want to lie anymore, but still was glad Snape had asked her not to tell anyone the truth. It would be too much for her friends.

“There are other ways to help, Hermione. There was no need for this. He’s a Death Eater!”

“And just where did you think all the information was coming from? He helps us more than you can think, risking his life for us.”

“Help us? What did he ever do to help us?” he asked, and she could tell he was trying hard to keep his voice down.

“What do you think happened when the Death Eaters attacked Grimmauld Place? Who do you think warned us about what they were planning? The raid to their headquarters? They even warned us about the attacks to Wizarding and Muggle towns the other day. He has been risking his life to help you, to help us all. You’ve seen the memories, Harry; you’ve seen what really happened. He was forced to do what he did, and still decided to come back to the order.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? This is Snape we’re talking about; the man that made our lives miserable for six years. How can you defend him?”

“I’m not. I’m just telling you to see,” she hissed, but stopped when she heard the door open once more. They all turned to see Snape walk out and head for the door. Their eyes locked for a moment, and she wanted to go to him, to ask him what had happened, what Kingsley had said, but knew it wouldn’t be wise, so she just watched him sneer and leave without a word.

“Harry,” she finally sighed as she turned to face him again, “you have to give him a chance.”

“Did you know he was the one passing the information?” he asked, much calmer now.

“No,” she whispered.

“Who were you meeting all this time?”

“I can’t tell you that, Harry; I’m sorry.”

“Why do you think you can trust them?”

“He’s saved my life, Harry; more than once. They’ve saved many others as well. Snape saved you when Bellatrix was about to kill you, and if they hadn’t helped me get Ron to St. Mungo’s”

“What?” Ron asked. He had been listening to them in silence until then, but was too surprised not to ask. “What do you mean helped you get me there?”

She sighed deeply before answering. “That night, you were hit by the curse, and were unconscious. I wasn’t even sure you were still alive. I tried to carry you away from the battle, but couldn’t, and there was no one there to help me. Then he showed up and made a Portkey, sending you to St. Mungo’s.”

“You said an Auror had done it,” Harry said, and she could tell he was still upset.

“I know; I couldn’t tell them the truth.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been lying to us all this time.”

“I did what I thought was best. You had enough on your mind already; I didn’t want you to worry.”

“What do you expect me to do?” he asked then. “Snape and I have hated each other for years; I just can’t forget that.”

“I’m not asking you to like him, Harry,” she said, taking his hand. “I just hope you will give him a chance. He could help us defeat Voldemort; we need him.”

“Ready to go back?” Kingsley’s voice interrupted them. She looked around then, and noticed the other Order members were already gone.

“Yes, Mom will be worried,” Ron answered, and they all walked to the door.

As they stepped out of the house, she felt Kingsley’s hand on her arm, holding her back.

“Just go ahead,” he told Harry and Ron. “We’ll join you in a moment.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, as soon as the boys left, turning to face her.

“Tell you what?”

“That Snape was the one helping us,” he said, and she noticed his fingers were still wrapped around her wrist.

“I didn’t know it was him.”

“Then who was it you’ve been working with?”

“We’ve been through this already,” she sighed. “I won’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t want you to know.”

“Snape will be passing the information directly to me, from now on.”

“What?” she asked, surprised.

“They don’t want you involved. And I have to admit I’m glad; it’s a dangerous game you’ve been playing.”

“I’m not a child, Kingsley,” she said, angry, and pulled free of his grasp. “I’ve been fighting this war since I started Hogwarts; I’ve been with Harry every step of the way. It’s always dangerous, and I don’t care. I’ll do anything in my power to help him.”

“If someone found out you’ve been working with Death Eaters, you would be considered a traitor; they would send you to Azkaban.”

“You would tell the Ministry?” she asked, shocked.

“Of course not, but I’m not the only one who knows. You have to be careful, and stay away from them.”

“Why do you care so much?” she asked, remembering what Snape had told her earlier, wondering if it could be true.

“I care because you are part of the Order,” he answered, taken aback by the question. “We have to take care of each other, if we want to win.”

“I appreciate it, I really do,” she said, “but I can take care of myself.”

“Just be careful,” he muttered, and Apparated away.

She took a deep breath, confused at what had happened, and then Apparated to headquarters, surprised to see no one was up.

The next day, she woke up to find the house almost empty.

“Where’s everyone?” she asked Molly, as she found her humming in the kitchen.

“They went back to Grimmauld Place. They wanted to discuss what happened yesterday.”

“Why didn’t anyone wake me up? Why didn’t they tell me?”

“They wanted to talk about it without you there. Now don’t get upset,” she quickly added, sensing Hermione’s anger. “They just thought it would be better if you weren’t there. Some of them are very angry at Snape, and knowing you had helped him…”

“Well, at least I would like the opportunity to defend myself,” she huffed.

“You just have to give them time, sweetheart.”

“So you believe he was telling the truth, that what we saw in the Pensieve was real?”

“Of course I do. I also know you would never do anything that would hurt any of us, especially Harry. You have to give them time to get used to the idea. He did, after all, kill Albus.”

“So, why aren’t you with them?” she asked.

“Someone had to stay here,” she answered, and went back to cooking.

The whole day went by with just Molly and her in the house. She was already in bed when she heard the other come back, and decided not to go talk to them just yet. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what had happened.

The next day, she woke up to an empty house again. This time, she found a small note from Molly on the kitchen table, saying she had decided to join the rest of the Order that day, and asking her to stay in the house until they returned.

She stayed in the library most of the day, going through books, but not paying much attention, too busy thinking about what they might decide, wondering if they would let Snape back into the Order, or even if they would turn her in, accuse her of treason.

The sun was still up when she went to bed that day. During the last two days, she had gone from worried to mad. How could they meet to discuss Snape, and not take her with them? She was the one that had been working with him; she could tell them about all the times he had helped, everyone he had saved. No, they would rather leave her out, not telling her anything at all. It wasn’t fair.

The third day, she woke up to the sound of a quill scratching paper. It took her a few seconds to realize what it was. Since the last time she had seen him, she had tried to contact Snape with the blank piece of parchment he had given her, but he hadn’t responded.

‘Why weren’t you at the meeting today?’ he questioned. She was surprised to see it was already midday.

‘You went to the meeting?’ she asked, shocked and hurt they would let him there, and not her.

‘Of course.’

‘Well, they hadn’t invited me, didn’t they tell you?’

‘Do you know if they have decided anything?’

‘I haven’t even seen them in over two days. I don’t know anything.’

‘Try and find out soon,’ he wrote.

‘I’ve been trying to contact you for two days.’

‘The Dark Lord has kept me busy. I have to go now. Just talk to them and let me know what they decide.’

‘Wait. What did they tell you?’ she asked, but he didn’t answer. He was already gone.

Still in an awful mood, she walked down the stairs to what seemed like an empty house again, only this time she found someone in the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Remus said, as she walked in.

“Hi,” she said, and sat next to him at the table. “Why aren’t you with the others?”

“I have already made my decision, and they know it. There’s no need for me to spend more time discussing this. Besides, I thought you would like some company,” he said, smiling warmly.

“You were right. I’m tired of being here alone, not knowing what’s going on.”

“It will be over soon, and hopefully, everything will go back to normal. Tea?” he asked, and she laughed at the change of subject.

“Thanks,” she muttered, and spent the next few minutes silently sipping the warm tea.

“So, what do you think will happen?” she finally asked.

“They’ll fight for a few more hours, and then decide to let Snape join the Order again.”

“And you agree with that?”

“I know how much they’ve helped,” he said after a few moments, “and I think we need him.”

“And what about me?” she asked, hesitantly.

“I’ve worked with spies before; I know how hard it is. Some of them might suspect you, or treat you differently for a while, but they will eventually come round. Just give them some time,” he said, repeating Molly’s advice.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For being there for me, for helping me, for everything. I know you had to lie to the Order for me, and I want you to know I really appreciate it.”

“I’m sure you would have done the same for me,” he said, blushing slightly. “Now why don’t we go out now, get some fresh air? You’ve been in here for days now.”

“That sounds great,” she said, glad she could finally get out.

They spent the day in Diagon Alley, visiting the shops, both happily spending hours in the bookstore, going through the new books. She always enjoyed spending time with Remus; they had a lot in common. After hours away, and a few drinks at the Leaky Cauldron, they finally headed back to headquarters, Hermione feeling much calmer than she had in the last few days.

Again, she went to bed before the others arrived, and right before falling asleep, she decided it was time to face them.

The next day, as soon as she woke up, she made her way to Harry and Ron’s bedroom, wanting to talk about what had happened, to see if they were still upset with her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, shocked, as Ron opened the door to let her in.

“We are leaving,” Harry answered from the wardrobe. She could see a few bags on the bed, with clothes inside.

“What?”

“I want to go to Godric’s Hollow, to see my parents’ house, just like I had planned. And then we will search for the Horcruxes.”

“But, Harry.”

“No buts, Hermione. I’ve made up my mind.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Ron asked, and she looked at him, confused. “We are leaving tonight, get your things ready.”

Surprised as she was, she couldn’t help but smile; she was glad they weren’t intending to leave her behind. Not that she would have stayed, but still.

“But what about the Order? What about Snape?”

“They’re taking him back,” Harry answered.

“Do they know you’re leaving?”

“Not yet.”

“But Ron, what will your mother say?”

“I’ve made a decision, Hermione. You don’t have to join us if you don’t want to, but I’m going with Harry.”

“But where?” she asked, trying to reason with them. “You don’t know where the Horcruxes are, or even what they are.”

“We have your potion, I can use it to try and find them.”

“You could do that from here, too.”

“Look, Hermione. I appreciate your concern, I really do, but as Ron said, we’re leaving. Now, you can either join us, or stay here, it’s up to you,” he said, and went back to the wardrobe.

“Of course I’ll go with you, but I need some time to prepare.”

“I won’t wait anymore, Hermione,” Harry said, sternly.

“Please, just give me one day; just one. We can all leave tomorrow night.”

“I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“It will only be a day, Harry, please. What difference will it make?”

He sighed, but finally relented. “One day?” he asked, and she nodded. “Just one, and then you’ll leave with us?” She nodded again. “Fine. But if you’re not ready tomorrow night, we’re leaving without you.”

“Thank you, Harry,” she said, and hugged him.

“Now go get your things ready,” Ron said. “We al know it will take you forever, what with deciding what books you’ll want to take with you and all.” She smiled at him and hugged him too, before going back to her bedroom.

She tried to contact Snape again, but he didn’t answer; she Apparated to his house too, but he wasn’t there. After a few more attempts with the parchment, she finally gave up, and started packing.

That day, the house was finally full of people again. She noticed some of them watching her, some even throwing her murderous looks (all of them new members), but most of them behaved as usual.

She stayed up late that night, enjoying the company after days alone. All the Weasleys were there, as well as Harry, Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, Moody and a few others, even Mundungus, whom she hadn’t seen in months. Once she left with Harry and Ron, she would really miss them; she just hoped the war would be over soon, so she could see them again.

That night, she twisted and turned in bed for what felt like hours, going through everything they would need when they left in her mind. Ron had been right; she had spent hours searching the library for anything that could help them in their mission, potions, spells, charms, and even a few history books.

She groaned and turned to the other side, again. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn’t sleep. Careful as to not wake Ginny up, she tiptoed out of her room and down the stairs.

Thinking maybe some milk would help her fall asleep, she yawned and walked into the kitchen, stopping mid-step when she noticed she wasn’t alone.

She slowly looked around the room, at the three men, Kingsley, Remus and Snape, that had fallen silent, and then back at herself, blushing furiously when she realized she was just wearing a big old T-shirt that barely covered her thighs and left one of her shoulders bare.

“I thought everyone was asleep,” she muttered, and straightened her clothes as best she could. When none of them spoke, she took a few steps forward and reached for the milk and a glass, feeling their eyes on her every move.

“OK, I’ll just go now,” she said with a small smile, as soon as her glass was full. “Good night,” she whispered as she left. After a few seconds, she heard Remus and Kingsley mutter “Good night,” in return, but Snape just stayed silent.

Still feeling embarrassed, she quickly got up the stairs and into her bedroom. Well, at least, after four days, she had finally seen Snape again. She had been worried about him, after days of trying to contact him, with no response, but now she had seen he was all right, she couldn’t help but feel a bit upset he hadn’t even written her a note, to tell her he was fine. Tiptoeing back inside, she drank the milk left the glass on the bedside table, next to her wand, and crept into bed, finally falling asleep.

She could feel something soft tickling her skin, but she wasn’t sure she was still dreaming. Then she felt something warm and wet slowly moving up her thighs, and she opened her eyes, shocked to find Snape’s head between her legs.

“What are you doing?” she hissed, looking to the side to see Ginny, thankfully still asleep, but just a few feet away.

He lifted his head for a moment, smirking at her before whispering, “I thought you’d never wake up.”

“What?” she asked alarmed, holding back a moan as he licked the inside of her thighs. “Ginny’s here, she could wake up any minute,” she hissed, and tried to push him away, but to no avail.

“Then you’ll have to keep quiet,” he said, smirking evilly as he continued his ministrations.

“No,” she protested, and shook her head, but at the same time spread her legs further apart; she heard him chuckle, and was about to protest again when he thrust his fingers inside of her. Her back arched, and she bit her arm to stifle a groan, her other hand slowly inching closer to her wand, thinking maybe she could cast a silencing spell around them.

She gasped when his free hand wrapped around her wrist, moving her arm away from the bedside table and then pushing the wand to the floor. “Where would be the fun in that?” he whispered.

“Git,” she muttered then, but stopped trying to push him away, instead enjoying the feel of his fingers, his lips and his tongue. It only took him a few minutes to take her to heaven, every touch sending her closer and closer to the edge.

Her body responded to him in a way she never thought possible, and she wondered for a moment if she would ever grow tired of it, but the next second every coherent thought, except that of keeping silent, escaped her mind, as her body convulsed around his fingers in pleasure.

He kept moving his fingers inside of her, flicking his tongue over her clit, until she came back down, and then he kissed and nibbled his way up her body, until his face was level with hers.

“If I’d known you’d taken to walking around headquarters dressed like this,” he whispered, smirking, his eyes flicking to the old T-shirt she was still wearing, “then I would have joined the Order again much sooner.” Then he kissed her hungrily, grinding his hips against hers.

“What on earth are you doing here?” she hissed, as soon as he broke the kiss. “If she woke up and saw you there…” When instead of answering, he simply smirked; a wicked idea crossed her mind.

“You think it’s funny, don’t you?” she asked, bending her legs at the knee and slowly moving her feel closer to her hips. Before he could answer, she pushed her hips up, and flipped them over, so that she was now straddling him.

Without giving him time to react, she kissed him again, her hands easily undoing his slacks. She moved her lips to his neck, after a few moments, and then down his chest. She pushed him back when he tried to sit, a warning look on her face, soon replaced by a mischievous one.

She pushed his shirt up, her lips and tongue playing down his chest and hips as she pushed his trousers and underwear down his legs.

“Still think this is funny?” she asked, a determined look on her face as she wrapped her fingers around his rock hard erection, hearing him stifle a moan. She moved her head lower and slowly ran her tongue along his length, before taking him in her mouth, smiling to herself when she felt him arch.

Using both her lips, her tongue and her hands, repeating any motion he seemed to like, soon she had him thrusting his hips up, his hands on her hair, pushing her down at the same time, but being careful not to choke her. She ran her nails up and down his thighs, making him groan louder, the witch sleeping on the next bed completely forgotten to her, but apparently not to him.

“Stop,” he breathed, and finally pushed her back, gasping. She watched him look around the room, before muttering, “not here.”

In less than a second, he had pulled her out of bed, and with a flick of his wand, they were both dressed. He took her hand and hurriedly walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and towards the entrance.

As soon as they stepped out of the house, he pushed her hard against the wall, kissing her deeply and lifting her up, making her wrap her legs around him as he Apparated them both away. Another second and he opened the door to his house and walked inside, still carrying her.

“Too far away,” he muttered to himself, as he faced the stairs, and then kissed her again, turned around and headed for the library, barely making it to the couch. He threw her on it and reached for his wand, making their clothes vanish before joining her there.

Before she knew it, he was inside her, moving deliciously as he kissed her again. She felt his hands on her legs, pushing them up his shoulders, and she moaned loudly as the angle changed, sending him much deeper inside of her.

He broke the kiss when the need for air became overwhelming, and he locked eyes with her, his thrusts slowing. She bit her lip as her back arched, but couldn’t take her eyes off his. She could see something different in them, but she didn’t know what it was.

He moved one of hands between them, his fingers rubbing her clit as his thrusts became faster and harder again, never breaking eye contact, and soon she was coming again, her muscles contracting around him and sending him over the edge with her.

He rode her orgasm, kissing her again as their bodies moved as one, and only when they had both calmed down did he lower her legs again and roll to lie next to her. She took a few moments to recover, and then started to get up, knowing she’d be in a world of trouble if Ginny woke up and noticed she was gone, and wanting to save Snape the trouble of thinking of an excuse to get her out of there.

“Where do you think you are going?” he asked, and she turned around, confused, but as she started to speak, he interrupted. “I’m not done with you yet,” he said, smirking, as he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him again, his lips instantly on her neck, his hand caressing its way up her thigh.