The Love Of A Wizard

CHAPTER 29
Goodbye


Claudia awoke with a terrible headache. She rolled over in her bed and looked at the clock. It was already after noon. She looked down and realized she was still dressed in the clothes from last night and she was flooded by memories of the night before.
She laid back down on her pillows and felt the tremendous weight on her chest. Tears spilled from her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks, How was it that Severus could do such a thing? He turned on the people that trusted him and loved him. For Claudia saw Severus’s betrayal as a personal insult to her and the memory of their love. Love. Claudia fumbled around on her neck looking for the amulet. It was gone.
She pulled herself from bed and began tearing the bed apart looking for it. It wasn’t in the bed with her. She looked on the floor, in the bathroom and in her pockets. Nothing. She had to sit down twice because the room was spinning, and she didn’t feel like vomiting again.
So she pulled herself together and left her bedroom and headed down stairs. As she walked into the living room, she heard voices in the dinning room. She slowly walked outside and did something she had not done in a very long time. She lit a cigarette. She felt even worse after her first inhale of the smoke, it made her head swim even more. She stood on the porch looking out into her yard and thought about the past couple of years. Meeting Sirius and Remus. Dumbledore’s first visit. Seeing Severus step from the fireplace the first time. Her birthday party. The making of the amulets. Sirius’s death. It was all beginning to add up to a weight that was too heavy for her to bare. She made a mental note to ask Molly about something very important the next chance she got.
She put the cigarette out in the lawn and walked back inside. She toyed with the idea of going back upstairs. She could not stand to see her friends right now. Everyone looking at her with pity, pain, fear and anger. For she was, in fact, sleeping with the enemy for the past couple of years. Who is to say they weren’t wondering if she wouldn’t turn on them either? She made her way to the staircase but was stopped by Nick’s voice.
“Claudia. You need to come.” It wasn’t a request. Claudia felt her stomach do flips as she slowly dragged herself into the kitchen. She was met by her friends and also Molly, Arthur, Tonks, Remus, Mad-Eye, Minerva and Kingsley. They filled the table, that had been expanded by magic, and they all stared at her as she entered the room. Claudia looked at them all and felt the tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She looked away and into Nick’s eyes. She spoke to him in Russian.
“Nick. I can’t do this right now. I just can’t…” Her voice broke as she tried to plead with him. But he shook his head.
“I am sorry Mishka. But you must.” He pulled out a chair for her and she sat down, still hanging her head. Minerva was the first to speak.
“Ms. Moore. Albus considered you a trusted friend. In fact, he considered all of the muggles here with us today friends.” Claudia put her hands on her face and cried silently. Her shame was too much for her to bare quietly. She couldn’t help the sobs that broke free. Unbeknownst to Claudia, the rest of the table was trying to hide tears of their own. No one was able to fight them off for long.
“Ms. Moore…” Kingsley spoke softly. “We were wondering if you could help us with something.” Claudia tried to wipe her eyes on her sleeve and attempted to catch her breath.
“What?” Was her emotionless reply.
“This.” Kingsley held out his hand an inside of it was Claudia’s amulet. Glowing gray. “It has changed colors over the night and this morning. Tonks says this is yours. Someone gave it to you? Who?” His voice was still soft, but Claudia knew that now was the time for honesty. No more could she hide anything from them. Why would she anyway? Severus betrayed her and all of them. She had no more loyalties for him anymore.
“Severus gave it to me. We did…a spell. Almost two years ago. It was called…I don’t remember what it was called actually. But we drank a potion and…well.. Blood was put in it, then we put it in vials and we wore them.” Claudia said meekly.
“Are you telling me that Severus has one of these too?” Minerva asked. Claudia nodded.
“Claudia, is this how you were able to deflect my stunning spell in the woods?” Everyone looked at Arthur as he spoke and quickly back at Claudia. All of their curiosity piqued.
“Yes. When I wore it, Severus couldn’t even do Occlumecy on me at all. Neither could Dumbledore.” Claudia said.
“Did Dumbledore know about this?” Minerva asked. Claudia nodded. Everyone sat silently for awhile and Claudia realized what Kingsley had said to her.
“Kingsley? What colors did it change to?” She asked. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears. Maybe…
“Well. It was Gray most of the time. But this morning it went blue and red. Once or twice I think it was pink to.” Claudia sat dumbfounded. She swung around to face Minerva.
“Minerva, I think that…well…the amulet…it changes colors with our moods and our well being. When I was attacked…when we were attacked by Dementors, Severus knew and was able to come to me. It has a locator thingy on it…”
“You saying Snape is wearing something that has a locator spell on it?” Mad-Eye asked. Claudia shrugged her shoulders.
“I think so. If it’s changing colors, he has to be wearing it. You can find him with mine…” Claudia offered.
“What do the colors mean?” Remus asked. Claudia felt new tears falling from her eyes, but she kept talking.
“Blue means sadness. Red means anger. Gray means…fear of death. Black means death. And pink means…it means he loves me.” The last part came out as a whisper. Claudia was looking at the table top and was unable to see the looks of revulsion, anger, sadness and confusion on the people around her.
“What’s going to happen now?” Rod asked them.
“First, we wait to hear from Harry. The Order has decided that Harry should have a bigger say in the goings on of this group. He was with Dumbledore when he uh…well, when it happened. Dumbledore and he were doing something. Something top secret. We don’t even know what it was. So if Dumbledore can trust him to be capable, then so can we.” Arthur said.
“A kid? A freaking kid?” Bones declared. Claudia noticed, even a few of the wizards didn’t look convinced either.
“Well, Potter should be at Grimmauld place in a week. He has gone to his Aunt’s home and then he was going to Godric’s Hollow. We will meet at Grimmauld Place. And…I am requesting all of our muggle friends do us the honor of joining us there.” Minerva’s voice was crisp and business like. Claudia reached for her amulet, that now lay on the table top, and contemplated smashing it to pieces. But she held it in her hands and remembered every good thing she could about the night her and Severus made the amulet. Every night they were together and the few nights they were sitting in this very room with friends. The she remembered, he was a murderer. She closed her eyes and closed her hand over the amulet. She couldn’t wear it. It would be wrong to put it on right now. It would look as if she were aligning herself with the traitor. Nick rubbed her back with his hand and Claudia felt somewhat better. The wizards were leaving, all quietly talking amongst themselves. Only, Remus and Tonks stayed behind.
“Claudia? Are you alright?’ Claudia looked up into her friend’s face. Tonks looked better, considering the circumstances. Her hair was back to be short and pink and she had ditched the dark circles under her eyes. Claudia saw Remus standing right behind her. She also saw Molly slipping away and called out to her.
“Molly?” Molly stopped and turned around. Claudia’s heart broke at the look she received from her one time friend. Molly had no compassion in her eyes and her mouth was set in a thin line. She didn’t answer her. She just continued to look at her and Arthur was standing behind his wife looking tired and worried. “Molly…I didn’t know. I didn’t know he would...or even that he could…Molly? I’m so sorry.” Claudia broke down in tears and felt herself falling apart. Molly didn’t say a word to her. She turned around and left out of the front door. Arthur stood awkwardly for a few moments and Nick and Chester saw him outside. She saw them talking briefly and then he disappeared. Claudia went outside and grabbed her cigarettes. Actually, they were Antonio’s, but she took them as her own. Tonks stood watching her light her smoke and came up beside her.
“I know you didn’t know. We all actually know that. Molly included. But Bill was seriously injured and everyone is blaming Snape for the whole nights events. You can’t blame yourself too Claudia.” Claudia smoked on. She decided to ask the question she was going to ask Molly, to Remus and Tonks.
“Do you wizards have a spell for memories?” Claudia asked.
“What do you mean?” Tonks asked. Claudia was still looking out of the window as she replied.
“I mean, can you take someone’s memories away? Like if I asked you to take away my memories from the past two years, could you?” She asked. The uproars that happened behind her was deafening.
“Don’t be stupid Claud.” Nick spat her.
“I’m not being stupid! And answer my question! Can you?” She raged. Tonks and Remus looked at each other and then back at Claudia.
“Yes Claudia, we can.” Remus said patiently. “But-” She cut him off by marching up into his face and spitting words into his face.
“The I want it done to me. I don’t want to know anymore about any of you. I am finished. Do you understand? Do the spell Remus.” Claudia folded her arms and stared straight into his face. Goodbye to all of her memories. Goodbye to Sirius. Goodbye to Severus. Goodbye to Dumbledore and Remus and Tonks. Goodbye to the pain. Goodbye…

***********************************
A/N: uh oh....Claudia is giving up! What will happen now? Please review.