Love, Lies & Loneliness

A/N *Gets on knees and begs for forgivness from her loyal readers* Sorry everyone, Real Life got in the way of Harry and Snape this week unfortunately, who\'d have thought you actually had to do something at work.....Anyway to make up for it please find 5 lovely long chapters, ready for reading.:P

Chapter 29
(Recovery and Rejection)

Harry awoke wrapped in soft silk sheets and a beautiful mink blanket.

He hurt.

Disorientated Harry opened his eyes and instantly shut them again as a bright light assaulted his vision.

“For Merlin’s sake woman close the bloody curtains, he’s waking up!” Harry heard the shuffling of feet on a stone floor before the sliding of a curtain being pulled closed somewhere over his head. When he next opened his eyes the light was much more bearable and he squinted up at the blurry figures hovering over his bed. “Glasses.” The voice next to him demanded attention again and within half a second he felt the cool slide of his glasses being gently slipped onto his face. While his vision still swam a little at the edges Harry could now make out the people gathered around him.

Dumbledore’s was the first face Harry saw and he watched as the old man smiled brightly his eyes twinkling in the dim light. Madam Pomfrey was the next face Harry focused on the Medi witch paused at his bedside with a glass of pumpkin juice should her patient need it. Sirius and Lupin were next and Harry managed a weak smile as he watched tears run down his godfather’s cheeks as Harry met his gaze. Finally Harry turned to his side and glanced down at the hand holding his atop the bed sheets. Harry knew those hands, thin, delicate and so warm. Harry followed the extent of the black robed arm until finally his gaze settled on Snape’s familiar face. Harry opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out and Snape merely nodded in understanding. “Well done Harry, your mother would have been so proud.” Snape’s free hand reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair from Harry’s forehead and the boy closed his eyes at the warm touch.

Desperate to hug the professor Harry attempted to sit up but as he did he was assaulted by a wave of dizziness that turned his stomach. With little warning Harry rolled over onto his side and threw up all over the professor sat next to him. Harry heaved again but Snape didn’t move his hand merely coming up to hold the boys head as Harry chucked up again. As the wave of dizziness subsided Harry flopped back onto the bed and listened as Snape sighed heavily.

“That’s twice you’ve done that to this particular set of robes Harry Potter, I’m beginning to think you dislike my taste in dress.” Harry opened his mouth to apologise; completely mortified by what he’d done but again his voice failed him.

“s….s…so…rry.” Snape brought his hand up instantly to wipe the stray tear from Harry’s cheek, the boy obviously concerned by his action, and not at all aware that Snape had just been joking.

“Shhhh, its okay Harry no harm done, just rest.” Snape passed his hand over Harry’s forehead again before removing the glasses so that Harry could snuggle back into the bed. Harry was so tired and his hand hurt so much and it was the sounds of his elders whispering above him that finally lulled him back into the darkness of sleep.

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The next time Harry awoke he was in a completely different bed all together. The bed was far larger, and sheets were made of the purest cotton that felt like satin against his skin. Testing his eyesight Harry opened his eyes and smiled at the dim light, although it was impossible to tell where he was for the blur. After stretching some kinks out of his body Harry finally pushed himself up managing to keep his injured hand against his chest as he sat up. Squinting around at his surroundings Harry spotted a familiar shape on a side table and reaching over with his good hand picked up his glasses and slipped them onto his face.

Finally everything came into view and Harry was slightly shocked to recognise the room or at least who owned it. The crimson and cream colour scheme a dead give away to it being Snape’s bedroom, even if Harry had never been inside it before now. The bedroom was simply laid out and Harry smiled around at the small personal items that lay carefully arranged on the chest of draws and the nightstand. Harry would have loved to have stayed longer to luxuriate in the man’s bed but a pressing in his bladder drew Harry to his feet. Wobbling Harry caught his balance on one of the posts of the bed before shuffling quietly towards the door of the bedroom. Reaching the door to the bedroom Harry poked his head gingerly out of the room to see Dumbledore, Snape, Sirius and Lupin all sitting with cups of tea in their hands on Snape’s velour couch and chairs. Despite appearances they seemed to be talking in a civil manner although Sirius was sitting at opposite ends of the room to where Snape was. Again the pressing of his bladder reminded him of why he’d gotten up in the first place. Harry paused to glance down briefly at his appearance before moving from the bedroom. Dressed in only his cotton boxers he felt almost naked but he was desperate for the loo and so braved his momentary embarrassment as he stepped out into the lounge room.

“Harry my dear boy?” Dumbledore spotted him first the elder man’s eyes sparkling in amusement as both Snape and Sirius snapped up from their seats to look at him.

“What are you doing out of bed!” Snape made to move towards Harry, obviously intending to bustle him back into the bedroom but Harry merely shook his head in silent apology before dashing across the room to the toilet. Harry heard the elder wizards chuckling with laughter as he closed the door to the bathroom and quickly went about reliving himself. Despite how easy it looked urinating with your left hand was difficult and Harry struggled to hold the fly to his boxers open at the same time as aiming properly. It was an issue but was over quickly and Harry flushed the toilet and moved over to the sink to wash his hands, or more precisely one of his hands. He naturally struggled with the taps but once the water was running Harry took a moment to splash some water on his face before inspecting his reflection in the mirror above him and that’s when he saw it and screamed.

Within an instant Snape, Sirius and Lupin had all sprung into the bathroom only to find Harry with his face pressed up against the mirror his hands running over his reflection in disbelief.

“It’s gone.” At these words the three men relaxed physically with a sigh, only Dumbledore’s chuckles back in the lounge alerting Harry to the elder wizards amusement of the situation.

“Yeah it faded about an hour after we’d brought you back to the hospital wing.” Harry looked momentarily from his own reflection to the reflection of his godfather behind him, reading the man’s expression in an effort to see the truth. For all Harry knew his mind was playing tricks on him. Glancing back at his reflection Harry pressed closer to the mirror still in shock at seeing his forehead for the first time, minus the lightning scar he’d carried all his life.

“Come and sit down Harry, you shouldn’t be on your feet. Poppy will kill me if she catches you walking about.” Harry didn’t flinch as he felt Snape’s hand come to rest on his shoulder, slowly drawing him away from his reflection and back out into the lounge room. Harry allowed himself to be led to the chair closest to the fire and sat down stiffly, still feeling the aches and pains in his battered body. Sirius draped a warm blanket over Harry’s shoulders and Snape offered him a pain-reliving potion before following it with a nice warm cup of the aniseed tea the professor so favoured. Harry relaxed into the plush chair letting the pain potion relieve his aches and the warmth of the fire to heat his cool skin. The four wizards settled back in their spots on Snape’s lounge all of them watching as Harry awkwardly sipped from his tea, still reluctant to use his bandaged right hand.

“How’s the hand feeling Harry?” Lupin noticed Harry’s reluctance to use his hand first and commented upon it quickly.

“Sore, I can’t really feel my fingers they’re kind of numb and it hurts when I try and use it.” Lupin nodded as Snape moved over to Harry’s chair and knelt beside it, easily taking hold of Harry’s hand and beginning to unbandage it, obviously concerned by what Harry had just said.

“It was a nasty burn, you might have lost some fingers if it had burned any deeper than it had.” Sirius watched over Snape carefully as the potions professor finally pulled the bandage free and gently eased up the gauze wadding. Harry hissed in pain and tried to pull his hand away but Snape held his wrist firm as he pried the cotton material from Harry’s palm.

“Ugh, sorry that’s awful.” Lupin looked away as Snape turned Harry’s hand towards the light of the fire to get a better look. The burn was deep and the skin an angry red colour. Harry’s entire hand was burned and a large deep gash the same shape and size of his wand lay across the middle of Harry’s palm. Tears sprang to Harry’s eyes as Snape gently prodded the gash, blood rising to the surface at the touch. Snape sighed heavily and rested Harry’s hand back on the boy’s knee as he stood up from his knees.

“The damn things not healing, and by the looks of it infections set in.” Harry grimaced as he watched Snape disappear through a side door before returning a moment later with a large bulbous bottle of potion and a white piece of silk. “This will hurt.” Snape looked sympathetically up at Harry as he knelt again beside the boy, who had put his tea aside less he spill it on himself. Harry watched as Snape summoned a bowl from an unseen cupboard behind him and poured the entire contents of the potions bottle into it. The orange liquid was one Harry had seen before. Snape dipped the silk completely in the bowl, watching as it turned the same colour orange as the potion it was soaked in. Expertly Snape folded the length of silk into a square and then without warning pushed it into Harry’s palm.

“Ouch, fucking hell!” Harry didn’t scream but his curse was enough to tell those around him he was in considerable pain. No one commented though on the foul language and Harry squirmed uselessly in his seat as Snape bathed the hand in what remained of the orange liquid. Satisfied with his job Snape re-bandaged Harry’s hand the orange silk still in place. When the bandage was secure Snape stood back up and disappeared into the bathroom to clean up returning a moment later to take up his seat again by the fire.

“So apart from the hand you’re feeling okay Harry?” Sirius sat perched on the arm of Harry’s chair, his hand idly brushing Harry’s hair back and forth in comfort.

“Yeah, a little hungry but okay.” Harry smiled up at his godfather who sighed almost in relief at Harry’s admission. “So…what happened?” Harry looked cautiously away from Sirius and over at Dumbledore and Snape, both men now sipping from their tea again.

“Nothing I believe needs discussing now Harry. You need rest, and these things can wait until your well enough to hear them. The only thing you really need know now is that Voldomort is dead.” Harry nodded at Dumbledore unable to keep the smile from his face. He’d thought it was a dream but obviously it wasn’t, the war was over and he was free although a small niggling voice in his mind told him not to get his hopes up until he was sure beyond a doubt that the Dark Lord was gone.

“But everyone’s okay though? Ron? Hermione? Draco? The weasley’s? They’re all still with us?” Harry looked cautiously around at the faces of the elder wizards, all of whom smiled and nodded in reply.

“Yes they are all still very much alive Harry. There were, naturally, casualties but no deaths that you should be concerned with.” Dumbledore smiled over the tops of his half moon glasses as he held out his cup for Lupin to refill it with some more of the tea. “Now I believe you should be returning to bed, madam pomfrey even as we speak is making her way down here.” Dumbledore sipped again from his tea and Harry was amused by how the headmaster knew everything going on in the castle without batting an eyelid.

“Blasted woman! Doesn’t she believe me capable of looking after him, that she feels the need to visit every demandable hour.” Snape rose swiftly from the chair cursing and swearing to himself as he urged Harry to finish his tea and follow him back into the bedroom.

“She’s just doing her job Snape, besides I like having someone elses opinions regarding my godson’s heath.” Sirius helped Harry up from the chair and took Harry’s now empty teacup from the boy’s hand. Harry tried and failed to hide his smirk as Snape growled at Sirius.

“Should have known you’d have encouraged the woman’s visits Black. You’re just as meddling as that bloody Molly Weasley, you’d think I’d never cooked for myself the way she keeps sending me meals.” Snape opened the bedroom door for Harry who was still stifling his giggles in the lounge room. It was Sirius’s turn to growl this time, the Animagus’ growl so much more convincing than Snape’s had been.

“Watch yourself Snivelrus, Molly’s a saint unlike your unholy self.” At Sirius’ name calling Snape went to approach the man in anger but Dumbledore stood hastily from his seat and stepped between the two waring wizards. To Harry it felt familiar to have the two men arguing and it settled his fluttering stomach.

“Gentlemen, may I remind you that Madam Pomfrey is just now entering the corridor that these rooms are situated in and if you do not wish to come between a medi-witch and her patient I suggest you stop fighting and get Mr Potter here back into bed?” Almost immediately Snape swore and grabbed Harry’s arm before tugging the boy towards the bedroom quickly. Harry spared a glance back at Dumbledore amused by the sparkle of mischief in the old man’s eyes as he watched the two arguing wizards calm back down.

“Get in, quickly or she’ll send you back to the hospital ward.” Snape held up the covers of the bed and Harry quickly slid underneath, just as Madam Pomfrey’s voice bid hello to the wizards in the lounge room. Smiling Snape fluffed Harry’s pillow lightly before tucking the covers back around Harry who yawned and settled back into the sheets. “There, that damned woman can’t say I’m not looking after you now, although I’m sure she’ll find something a miss, she usually does.” Snape moved away from the bed and over to his small chest of draws, where a small rack of potions sat in front of the mirror. Selecting one of them Snape returned to Harry’s bedside and uncorked the small vial. “Here it’s designed to help your body grow new skin back, it should stop the worst of the scaring on your hand.” Harry nodded and took the vial, sitting up briefly to down the liquid before handing the empty vial back to Snape.

“Thank-you.” Harry settled back in the bed to stare up at Snape who had just spelled the empty vial back into the rack.

“Your welcome Mr Potter.” Harry sighed heavily at hearing the professor slip easily back into his usual school name for Harry. It wasn’t a good sign and Harry wished silently everyone would leave so he could talk to Snape alone.

“What now?” Harry asked feeling sleepy all of a sudden. Snape wandered over to the wall and blew out a few of the candles.

“Now Mr Potter, you rest up. The Wizarding world awaits their saviour and how can you sign autographs when you’re not well?” There was a bitter hint of sarcasm in Snape’s words and Harry sighed heavily.

“That’s not what I meant.” Harry muttered dejectedly into his pillow and turned over away from Snape. There was a long silence before Harry heard a soft sigh. Snape shifted swiftly across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, his hand coming up to rest on Harry’s shoulder just sticking out from the bed sheets.

“You’re young Harry and have your whole life ahead of you, enjoy the freedom you’ve got now while you can.” Harry turned back over to lie on his back and stare up into the professor’s gaze. “I’m sure there are things you want to do, and you’ve still go another year at Hogwarts. Take your time being the kid you weren’t allowed to be before and enjoy every moment of knowing your future isn’t pre written.” Snape passed his hand over Harry’s forehead in comfort as tears leaked unchecked from the corners of Harry’s eyes. On instinct Harry leaned up to kiss Snape, but the professor pulled away hastily and stood from the bed leaving Harry feeling empty inside.

“I….I” Harry struggled to say something, anything to bring Snape back to him but nothing he said would have made any difference as Madam Pomfrey strode into the room without even knocking, a bright smile on her face as she gazed at Harry unaware of the tension in the room.

“Ah Mr Potter awake at last, time for a good check over I think.” Madam Pomfrey sat her small travelling medical kit on the trunk at the end of the bed and flicked it open, before gesturing for Harry to slip out of the sheets. “Professor?” Finally noticing Snape’s presence the medi witch strode over to the door and held it open her eyebrow raised in question. “If you don’t mind, I’m sure Harry would like little privacy.” In truth Harry didn’t want Snape to go but with a nod Snape strode out of the room not once looking back at Harry, who felt a familiar ache again in his chest at having been so blatantly rejected.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A/N Remember to tell me what you think with some lovely reviews, hopefully things will start making sense in the story now....