The Ties that Lead to Trust

Chapter 29~ Plans for the Future

Hermione stuck out her tongue after she swallowed the last mouthful of pepper-up potion Severus had insisted she drink. He threatened to hold her nose and pour it down her throat himself if she didn’t take it willingly and she had the sense to know it was no idle threat. As steam started billowing out her ears she began gulping down water and muttering. “I really hate this stuff.”

Severus tutted her. “A few minutes of discomfort while the potion takes affect is far better than spending a week sick in bed. Besides there are by far and away more terrible concoctions to drink.”

She nodded. “True, but that doesn’t mean I have to like this one. It’s terrible for afters.”

Sinking into the sofa, Hermione closed her eyes and waited for the worst of the steaming sensation to end. She could feel Severus sit down beside her and knew he was watching her closely. They had enjoyed a pleasant enough meal, but she knew there was much more to discuss before their row was truly over.

“I’m afraid it will probably prevent you from sleeping for a couple hours. An unfortunate side effect,” his soft voice rumbled beside her.

She nodded and opened her eyes. “That’s just as well. I think there is a fair bit we need to discuss.”

“I don’t think now is the time, Hermione,” he protested but she was not to be dissuaded.

“All I want is to hear your side of this. I know what I said upset you. I hadn’t meant to, but I did. Is something wrong?” she queried.

Severus took a deep breath before beginning. “Do you remember our conversations back in August?”

“Which one?”

“You asked about my classes. Why I do what I do while teaching,” he elaborated.

Hermione giggled. “I asked why you were a git in class.”

“Yes, something to that effect,” he sighed. “I recall telling you I had never anticipated a teaching career. In as much as working at Hogwarts and with Dumbledore has been important, I still hate teaching.”

“Hate? That’s a strong word,” she pointed out.

He nodded. “I agree, but I have thought a great deal about my position here and I realize that I truly hate teaching. I’m sure you are aware that I have wanted the Defence position from the beginning, but I doubt it would make much of a difference. I dislike working with students who don’t know what they are doing and don’t care enough to do it properly. Most students only do the minimum amount of work possible to pass their classes and it is exceedingly frustrating to me.”

She looked at him curiously. “What do you plan on doing about it?”

“Nothing,” he answered simply.

“What?!” her eyebrows shot up.

Severus took her hand and continued. “For the past decade or so, the St Mungo’s Research Team has tried to convince me to join their facility full time and work with their potions experts. Initially, I had too many obligations to Albus and even a few years ago I wished to work in Defence Against the Dark Arts as opposed to Potions. Since I no longer have such obligations to the Order or to the school, I have given much thought to the possibility of leaving Hogwarts. At the beginning of December, I informed Albus that I wish to resign my position at the end of this school year.”

Hermione was shocked and unsure of what to say, but before she could formulate a response he continued. “I had meant to tell you at New Year’s but it didn’t seem appropriate. So much happened over the holidays.”

“Thank you.”

“Pardon?”

“For waiting to tell me. I had too much on my mind over the break,” she paused, then asked. “Is that why you asked me to stay for the holidays?”

He nodded. “Partially. I wanted to spend time with you, but I admit that I wanted to see if we could tolerate each other for a longer period of time. I would like to ask you to live with me.”

For a moment, Hermione was stunned. She had a much better idea of what it was, precisely, that had triggered Severus’ hurtful words. She squeezed the hand that was holding hers and looked at the carefully neutral expression on his face. “The position is an amazing opportunity for you. Do you have a place close to London?”

“No,” he shook his head, “I sold my father’s house as soon as I could and when I began teaching here I gave up my London flat. I haven’t owned a place of my own for some time, but I will have to look into it soon. It does mean, however, that it is a choice we could make together. If you want to, that is.”

“Well... Wow... I- It’s a big decision. I want to. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a good idea, but I don’t know where I need to be for next year. It depends on if I get an apprenticeship. If it’s- I mean if I’m with someone reasonably close to the research lab, then of course I will,” she stammered in response.

He nodded in understanding. “Location isn’t important just now. You should know who you will be apprenticing with by April, and it will provide a place to start looking. I’m not set on a place in London. In fact, I’d rather it wasn’t.”

“But commuting-” she started.

“That is what apparation and the floo network are for,” he countered.

Hermione smiled sheepishly. “Sometimes it’s hard to remember.”

“And I cannot imagine life without magic,” Severus brought a hand to her face and cupped her jaw. “So I am not mistaken, was that a yes?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

He slipped his hand down behind her back and brought the other arm under her knees. In a fluid motion, he lifted her onto his lap and held her tightly. “Then the rest can wait. Now tell me, who did you contact for apprenticeships?”

“I sent out five letters to Charms Masters and a couple for Transfiguration. I have a good feeling about Jane Carter. I hear she is very innovative and a good instructor, but she isn’t my first choice,” Hermione informed him.

“Who was your first choice?” he inquired.

She looked embarrassed. “Winston Ashfordly. Yes, I realize he is horribly sexist and has never taken a female apprentice before, but he is the best still taking students. I don’t care if he is a cantankerous cretin. I want to learn from the best.”

His chest vibrated against her ear as he spoke. “You do enjoy making your own life miserable, don’t you. Now I understand why Filius asked for a letter of recommendation from me. I told him it was a conflict of interest, but he insisted and now I see why. You might be interested to know that I have met Mr Ashfordly and we got on surprisingly well. He is as thoroughly useless at potions as I am at charms, which oddly enough set us on an even footing. He has a sharp mind, but your impression of him as a cantankerous man is not mistaken. Still, you have a reasonable chance, despite the handicap of being a woman. He is not so proud as to ignore talent, but he will make your time with him horrible because of it.”

She settled against his chest nodding. “I know. I had to try anyway. The rest of my applications were fairly predictable; Wymar, Harrison and Ross for Charms and for Transfiguration Savelle and-”

“-Kinnley. Minerva endlessly sings his praises. He’s been published many times in Transfiguration Today,” he explained to her. “I must admit I am surprised there are no Potions apprenticeships in there. I had thought you were interested in pursuing some work in medicine.”

She pulled back and looked at him, noticing the curiosity in his expression. “The worst arguments I ever saw my parents have were over things brought home from work. They are both dentists and both work in the same office. It’s good in many ways, but professional differences in opinion tend to get nasty when they come home. I like potions. I am good at them, but I am very competitive when it comes to knowledge. Your talent would continually grate on me if I pursued it further. I think I am safe with charms.”

“You shouldn’t limit yourself because of that. I thought you wanted no restrictions,” he countered, looking very concerned.

Hermione smiled and reached up to kiss the edge of the hard line of his mouth. “I can be terribly indecisive. Sometimes even a perceived limitation is useful for making up one’s mind.”

The hard line softened and he pulled her into a deep kiss. It was some time later when he spoke again. “So long as you are content with your decision in the end.”

“You’ll know if I’m not,” she said before yawning deeply. “I believe the pepper-up has worked its way through my system. Time for bed.”

Severus helped her off his lap and stood with her. “Would you like to stay here or shall I take you upstairs?”

“I’d like to stay here, if you don’t mind. I am sorry about the whole business with the rooms,” she apologized again.

“Stop.” He covered her lips with a finger. “It doesn’t matter. I have a good idea of what you meant anyway.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. When we look for somewhere to live, you will have your own reading room and office, just as I will have my own lab,” he quirked an eyebrow looking for approval.

Wrapping her arms around him, Hermione smiled against his chest. “Yes. Exactly.”
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Severus sunk into his favourite chair with a new mystery novel and felt the tension in his neck and shoulders dissipate. He was alone tonight, but it wasn’t nearly as oppressive as it had been over the past two weeks. Tomorrow was Friday and Hermione would stay for the weekend, but for now they had agreed that keeping to themselves during the week would allow each of them enough space. It was important for her to concentrate on her schoolwork and her study habits were such that he doubted he could relax while she was frantically writing essays, practising incantations and shuffling through notes. It was comforting enough to know she was in a room just above him doing so.

Having their first fight over with was like the lifting of a heavy burden that had been sitting on his shoulders. He knew they would quarrel at some point, but he had been greatly concerned about his own reaction to a conflict situation. Throughout his adult life, he had done his fair share of instigating antagonism, but he had, in general, avoided serious confrontations with those he considered peers. Yes, he had arguments with other staff members on occasion. Anyone forced to live with their coworkers in somewhat close quarters did. However, petty disagreements about house points and detentions were professional, not personal. There was no emotional investment, save perhaps pride, and no serious anger as a result. The times he had truly lost composure had been personal, hitting far to close to home.

Severus could admit now, a year and a half after his death, that Sirius Black had been one of his greatest weaknesses. In the time since the war had ended, he had reflected on the reason why Black brought out the worst in him and concluded that Black had been far too much like his father. No, his father hadn’t been well liked in the wizarding community, but he had been arrogant, proud and dominating. Sirius Black displayed those characteristics on a youthful scale of boastfulness and bullying with a horrible self important expression that nearly mirrored his father’s. In short, it was like having a constant reminder of home while at school, which was the last thing he wanted.

He could also see now that his intense dislike of James Potter hadn’t really come from Potter himself. Granted he had been jealous of the grades and popularity with both students and teachers, but what truly bothered him was the association with Black and the tightknit group of popular pranksters they created. The Marauders had made his school life hell, but the worst part was that as bad as school was it still wasn’t as miserable as being at home.

Due to the frequent, and at times violent, confrontations of his youth, Severus had been greatly concerned about the way a true argument with Hermione would play out. It was bound to happen sooner or later and he had been worried that he would lapse into old, and extremely unacceptable habits. It was an overwhelming relief to know that, when faced with a situation that could have deteriorated into a shouting match with physical posturing, his automatic reaction was to remove himself from it. It might not be the most effective way to deal with an argument, but it was definitely the best for him.

This morning, Hermione had suggested that in future neither should leave an argument before its conclusion, but after listening to an explanation of his reasoning, she had appreciated that unrestrained anger didn’t have a place in constructive conflict resolution. With the issues and misunderstandings surrounding their row resolved, Severus felt content to enjoy his temporary solitude. Well, almost solitude. For some reason, Hermione’s cat still had no desire to leave and was curled up by the fire in a basket transfigured from an old pillow. At least Crookshanks was a quiet companion, he mused and returned to his reading, ignoring the quiet purr emanating from the vicinity of the fireplace.
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The following Wednesday afternoon, Hermione watched the third year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws scuttle from the Potions classroom, eager to be away from their irritable professor. A few students noticed her waiting in the corridor and tentatively greeted her before dashing away out of the dungeons. Their relief at the end of class for another week was palpable in the air. She laughed inwardly at the memory of the miserable classes she endured in this room. At least these students didn’t suffer the trials of being paired with Slytherin for this particular class.

When the last of the students had disappeared from the classroom, Hermione entered and settled herself into the desk directly in front of the professor’s. She smiled to herself as she began unpacking her cauldron and notes, eager to catch up on two weeks of missed material. Severus had given her the notes from class to give her a head start on the work and she sat for a few minutes reading over the instructions before preparing to make this newest potion.

Sitting at his desk, Severus sorted through a pile of homework assignments and sighed deeply as he scanned the first one. Hermione could tell he was shaking his head at the poor quality of the work, but she tried to be cheerful anyway. “Good Afternoon, Professor. Is there anything else I should take note of before beginning the Revitalizing serum?”

He glanced up at her and smiled weekly. “No, Hermione. I believe I gave you all the information you need. Any questions?”

She shook her head. “No, sir. I’ll get started then.”

An hour later, Hermione was hovering at Severus’ shoulder as he inspected her work. It was their first tutoring session and she was anxious about the new situation. They had resolved their argument, and she felt calm and in control of her circumstances within the rest of the student body now, but this arrangement made her uncomfortable. It was even more uncomfortable than attending the regular seventh year class had been during the first half of the school year.

Leaning over her quietly bubbling, purple concoction, Severus sniffed the fumes lightly then used a ladle to examine the viscosity. Satisfied he nodded and gestured for her to bottle it. While she did so, he tested her. “When is it most appropriate to use this serum?”

She bit her lip in concentration as she carefully poured the serum into a dark brown bottle. “It is most effective for individuals recovering from illness and injury who are fit enough to begin activity again. It can also be used for treating depression.”

“Precautions needed?” he asked, standing uncomfortably close behind her.

Taking a deep breath she answered. “Once stable and cooled it is very sensitive to heat and light. It is essential to store it in a cool, dark location and should be transported in darkened glass, such as this brown bottle.”

With a shaky hand, Hermione sealed the bottle and labelled it for Professor Dumbledore who would continue to oversee her work. When she set it on the desk, Severus leaned against her back. “Any questions about this lesson?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Oh?”

“Are you trying to distract me on purpose?” she asked looking back at him.

His expression changed from soft and teasing to something slightly devilish as he ran a fingertip along her facial features. “Well spotted. You are not easily distracted either. I will give Albus this assignment at the staff meeting tomorrow. In the meantime, I have had quite enough of this classroom for today. Will you join me this evening?”

“What about my homework?” she asked innocently.

“Is it due tomorrow?”

“No.”

He kissed her soundly, pulling her body against his. “Then, it can wait.”

Quickly she cleaned her cauldron and replaced her unused ingredients in the supply cupboard. Severus was tidying his desk when she returned, but still watched her as she packed her bag to leave. Outside the classroom door, he secured the room for the evening. Once safe from pranksters and thieves, they set off down the halls together.

Inside his rooms, Severus took her bag from her and resumed the kiss they had shared in the classroom only it was far more passionate this time. When he ended the kiss, Hermione pulled away and studied him for a long moment.

“What is it?” he asked, noticing her look.

Her brow furrowed. “You’re a bit... forward today, aren’t you?”

He ran his thumb along the lines of her forehead then leaned his own against hers. “I received word from Kingsley today. It was good news. Your grandmother is doing well and though there hasn’t been much they could do for her missing memories, it seems she recalls being followed prior to the incident.”

“Was it-?”

“It was. With that and some other evidence he has secured from within the Ministry, it is only a matter of time now. This is the most success we have had in months,” he smiled broadly and squeezed her tightly.

Hermione smiled at his enthusiasm and squeaked when his grip became too tight. Feeling happy and carefree for the first time in a long while she laughed in release and kissed him again. Granted they were still a fair ways from bringing Lucius Malfoy to trial, but Severus’ good mood was infectious, almost playful. It was odd to see him so lighthearted that she quickly became aroused and guided him from the sitting room to the bedroom.
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