Born in Frustration

Author's note: As you can see, I've done some restructuring. I've combined a couple of chapters and uploaded all the current beta'd chapters. This chapter is not yet beta'd but why make you lot wait.


OKAY, ALRIGHT ALREADY. SEX IS IN THE NEXT DAMN CHAPTER. BUT TRUST ME THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT CHAPTER FOR THE STORY. LORDY BE YOU LOT ARE HORN TOADS. That's probably why we likes you.

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~Chapter Twenty-Eight – What Your Soul Needs~


Draco rose from his seat and held his hand out to Harry. The dark-haired boy took it and rose himself, following Draco out of the room, down the hall and up the stairs.

Harry’s mind was racing, his heart pounding as they made their way through the house. He was nervous, but in a good and excited way. He had wondered about sex with Draco since he had woken up that morning with his pants down and Draco’s slick, silk-covered erection sliding along his arse. He remembered how he had wondered what it would feel like to have that beautiful organ deep inside him, moving in and out. He had been appalled at first by that thought. But, the feel of Draco’s hand sliding up and down his prick, keeping time with his thrusts against Harry’s backside; the overwhelming sensation of Draco behind and Draco in front; surrounding Harry, pleasuring Harry as he sought his own release, just felt so complete and right and what should be. The memory made him shiver and his own cock twitched with anticipation.

Harry had never had such desires before Draco showed up at his door. He had never really thought much about sex much. He had fantasies, all boys do, but nothing so graphic and certainly nothing so strong. In his wildest dreams, he had never imagined, consciously anyway, having sex with a boy.

Before last Friday, if you had asked, Harry Potter would have told you that he liked girls, ‘thank you very much.’

Draco changed that.

Harry couldn’t reason why the blond, snarky, arrogant boy elicited such feelings inside him. It was inconceivable. No one would ever believe it. Harry himself didn’t quite believe it. Yet, Draco had shown Harry that he could be kind and caring. He had shown his better, secret side. And Harry really, really liked this Draco Malfoy. Harry Potter did not know what love was. He had never been ‘in love’ before. He had nothing to compare these new feelings for Draco with. Something was telling him this was love. Something was pushing him in this direction, forcing him to act.

This compulsion to be with Draco was frightening at first, until Harry found that place inside his heart that felt complete when Draco was near. Then there was that place in Harry’s soul that sang joyfully when Draco touched him. He wondered if Draco felt the same. Did it matter?

Harry didn’t know. On some level he knew it was silly to worry about it. What was happening was beyond their ability to control. They could try to fight it, but why would they.

It was right…

It was good…

It was needed…

These words had filtered again and again through Harry’s mind the past few days…

This was right. Draco was the right one. When his mind centred on that one phrase, he calmed and his world seemed whole and focused. It was as if he had been wandering through a dense fog and he could see nothing around him and nothing made sense. Then Draco appeared and the sun came with him making all things became visible again. It was right.

This was good. Harry had no fear about what they were going to do. He really should be afraid. The old Harry would have run from the house or hid in his cupboard. But that was not necessary. There was no evil here. No bad intentions. This was good.

Harry needed this. He had never desired something so much. In such a short span of time Draco had become the one thing in Harry’s world that gave him comfort and happiness. Draco had wormed his way into Harry’s life. And now Harry could never imagine a life without the other boy. Harry’s inner voice told him that Draco was his other half that sex would join them and they would both be complete. It was needed.

As they approached the top of the stairs, Harry’s heart raced faster. This was it. There was no turning back. Harry stopped abruptly, biting his bottom lip. Draco turned to look at him, his face full of concern.

“Harry, are you sure? We don’t have to do this.”

‘Am I sure?’ he thought. ‘Yes.’ was the simple answer.

But that did not erase his anxiety. Harry knew what he wanted. He wanted Draco Malfoy. He wanted to share this experience with Draco and only with Draco. He knew that with every ounce of his being. His heart and soul told him this was the right thing to do. That Draco was the one person above all others that Harry could trust with those two things, his heart and his soul. If you asked, he could not tell you how he knew this to be true. He just did. Somewhere deep inside felt complete when Draco was with him, told him he needed Draco and that this was right.

Still, it was a huge step. All the groping and kissing and mutual gratification they had been engaging in had been leading to this. But this… this was it. Once the deed was done there was no erasing it. His inner voice was telling him that this was what he needed. This was right and good and needed.

All paths led to this one point. All Harry’s and Draco’s struggles led here to this very moment. How Harry came to this, he couldn’t say. He knew it though. He knew it to be fact. Everything both boys had been through, all their experiences had bought them to this one place, this one act and it was right. It was good. It was needed.

Harry looked deeply into Draco’s eyes. He wondered if Draco could feel it. The thrumming that surrounded them, there was a power let loose tonight. A power they would capture. Something was a foot. Something beyond their control and once again Harry felt the compulsion forcing him to act. Forcing him to complete the circle, to end and begin again.

As he gazed at Draco, he could sense the other boys’ anticipation, his nervousness, yet, there too, he could feel Draco knew this was right. All of a sudden everything became clear to Harry and judging from the expression on his soon to be lover’s face, Draco felt it also.

Everything else did not matter. No one mattered in this moment, except for them. This was right. This was good. This was needed.

Harry smiled. All worries melting away in this one instance of mutual recognition.

The energy around them focused. It hummed and vibrated. This did not frighten the two young men. It was welcoming electricity, familiar, warm and comforting. It emanated from both of them, around them over them, through them. It was right. It was good. It was needed.

Harry could not ever remember being in such a calm place. Never, not once, in his entire life could he remember feeling safe, protected and loved. Now, he was almost overwhelmed with these new emotions. Tears of joy crept into his eyes. This was what he had been missing. This was the piece to the puzzle that would finally fit. Oh, how could one ever explain what it was like to feel loved?

Harry was interrupted from his thoughts by a gentle tug at his hand. He looked down at his and Draco’s joined fingers. Embarrassed, he realised he had been muddling for too long in his thoughts…

“Yes, Draco,” Harry said softly, looking directly into Draco’s silver eyes so there would be no doubt remaining, “I am sure.” He raised their clasped hands and pulled the taller boy to him. “This is right, Draco. This is good. This is needed.”

A brief look of surprise flashed across Draco’s face. Then a bright, warm and knowing smile took over. Draco gently pressed their lips together. The power surrounding them seemed to sing with expectation as they kissed. The air itself was thick and heavy as their lips lingered together.

Draco reluctantly pulled away. “Come, love,” he said quietly as he led them both to Harry’s bedroom.

After tonight Harry Potter would no longer be a virgin.

After tonight Harry Potter would be forever linked with Draco Malfoy.

After tonight all things would change.

After tonight both boys’ worlds would never be the same.

After tonight the power the Dark Lord knows not would be complete.