Unwanted

Tristyn didn't nap, instead she hovered about her parents as they talked about mundane things, trivialities to tide them over until they could discuss the more traumatic events in their lives. She hardly ate her dinner, fought with her father about going to bed, then fell asleep five minutes after her head touched the pillow. Hermione stood in her doorway, watching Severus tuck the covers around the girl, wishing she was the one who'd been there to help and watch her grow so far. He leaned down and kissed the girl's forehead, then stood and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He stood close to Hermione, looking into her eyes.

"You're a good dad."

"She's a good girl. Most of the time. She has too much of the Gryffindor stubbornness, though. It doesn't blend well with her Slytherin tendencies." He smiled down her softly. She reached up and traced his lips with her fingertips.

"I missed so much."

"You won't miss anything anymore." He said softly.

"Let's get comfortable, we have a lot to talk about, Severus." She traced his lips once more, then took his hand and led him to the couch. He waited for her to get comfortable first before sitting next to her, turned slightly to face her. "Tristyn's quite a handful. You don't know how sorry I am that things turned out the way they did. I should have been here raising her with you."

"What happened to you--what I did to you was traumatic. Albus thought I would be able to help you, using Legilimency and Occlumency."

"You were the problem, so there was no way you could aide me." She said simply.

"You must know I didn't want to do what I did that night!"

"I'm not accusing you, Severus! Damn this is coming out all wrong. I needed someone outside the situation to help me see the reality. You saved me from a fate far worse than death. They wouldn't have been tender with me: I would have ended up looking like my mother before the night was over if you hadn't stepped in and stood up for me."

"I raped you." He breathed, not believing she was there, understanding finally what he had had to do, to keep both of them safe.

"Yes. And for a long time all I remembered was the terror and trauma happening. Once I started talking about what happened, and was forced to remember everything in a more detached way, I ...remembered you begging my forgiveness the entire time. At the time, all I could see was my father hanging from the cross and someone...assaulting him. Nothing after that night was real to me, you know."

"I know that, Hermione. I understand."

Hermione sighed and closed her eyes. "I almost wish you didn't understand! You're too perfect."

"I'm hardly perfect, Hermione. What happened to you was horrible, traumatic and terrifying. But have you thought about what I had to go through? I forced myself on one of my students, had to watch as her parents were brutally murdered in front of you and could do nothing to help alleviate your pain. Yes, I was sorry. I still am sorry about what happened. But I had to save you, it was my fault you were taken. Voldemort had seen my...desire for you while probing my memories." He frowned, gazing into his wife's eyes. Hers widened in surprise. It had been the last thing she'd expected to hear. Deciding to take matters in her own hands finally, she leaned forward and kissed him, one hand on his shoulder, the other caressing his cheek.

After a shocked moment, Severus took over the kiss, sucking her bottom lip, biting it and thrusting his tongue inside her mouth, tasting hers for the very first time. The few times he'd kissed her before, they'd been close-mouthed, less erotic, like a father kissing a daughter. He moaned, and pulled her closer to him, holding her against his chest, one hand slightly under her breasts.

Hermione gasped and opened her mouth wider. At first she was going to pull away and tell him to wait, but his touch was creating a warm throbbing inside her that was entirely new to her.

Feeling that she wouldn't protest too much, he slid his hand up, cupping her breast loosely, his thumb rubbing over the hard nub of her nipple, making her moan against his mouth. She pulled away slightly, mouth agape and breathing heavily. But she wasn't pushing his hands away. Gods, he wanted to go slow with her, knew he had to go slow with her, but it had been five years since he'd felt any woman's touch, five years since he'd only wanted to feel this woman's touch that no other would do.

"Are you alright, Hermione?" He whispered raggedly. He'd stop if she asked: He'd be in pain, but he'd stop. He'd never hurt her intentionally, never again.

She nodded and licked her lips unconsciously and he groaned. He leaned forward and kissed her harder this time, both hands now caressing her breasts through her sweater. Hers were resting on his chest, making tiny circles, not knowing what to do. Taking one of his hands he helped guide her, helped teach her where to touch him.

It only took a few more minutes before both of them were shirtless, arms wrapped around each other as their bodies pressed tighter and tighter. Pulling away from Hermione, he trailed soft kisses down her neck, sucking her pulse point firmly before moving lower to the top swell of her left breast. Using his hand, he lifted it to his mouth, an offering of ambrosia to his starving lips as he suckled her nipple hard causing her back to arch and a cry of passion and surprise to burst from her lips.

"Severus!"

Groaning, he pulled away, stood and lifted her into his arms. He carried her to his bedroom and spelled the door locked in case Tristyn woke and tried to wander to his bed in the middle of the night. He lowered her to the bedspread, following her down to capture her lips again, his fingers working on her breasts. Hermione shifted and opened her legs, urging him to lie between them, his erection straining behind his trousers, thrusting against her gently. She moaned and moved her hands restlessly across his back, frustrated, not knowing what to do next.

"We won't do anything you don't, Hermione." He whispered against her lips.

"I know you won't hurt me, but I don't know what to do!" She whined, making Severus laugh hoarsely. Her first experience, he wish he could have obliviated it, and her second, the night of their wedding he'd touched her only long enough to fulfill the Ministry's obligation on them. He hadn't even finished, but pulled out and rushed across the hall to his own room where he'd taken a long cold shower.

"Touch me, anywhere, everywhere." He ravaged her mouth as he started undoing her pants, his hand sliding down to cup her throbbing center.

Hermione stiffened as she remembered him doing the same thing at the Dark Revel, his body pressing against her as others watched. She pulled away sharply, pressing against his chest, pushing him away.

"Oh, no! Please..."

"Hermione, I'm sorry." He rolled to his back beside her, panting, one of his hands had unzipped his jeans, his cock straining the metal teeth apart.

"No! I want to make love to you, I want us to have good memories to replace the old ones. I don't know how to, though." She dropped her head back against the pillow, her eyes closed with tears squeezing out the sides. She sighed when she felt his tongue make circles around her nearest nipple, no other part of his body touching her.

"You're in charge, Hermione. I want you to ride me, be on top."

Her eyes popped open and she looked down at him, laving her nipple slowly, sucking it in gently then releasing it with a pop. They opened even wider when she realized that he had taken his jeans off and was lying next to her naked. "May I take these off, Madam?" He placed his hand on her pants questioningly. She nodded shyly and felt the buttons come undone first, then the material sliding down her thighs, then her calves and finally over her feet. He tossed them to the floor, letting go of her breast, now sitting next to her. He looked down at her, taking in the changes her body had gone through in the past five years. Her breasts were fuller, from pregnancy and not nursing Tristyn, hips wider, more adult. She had finally gained some weight and didn't look waiflike anymore. She was volumptuous, a sensual creature eager to learn the ways of the flesh. He grinned at her underwear, white cotton, plain but hi cut and sexy. He bent down and grasped the waistband with his teeth and pulled them down her legs, his hand urging her to lift her bottom for ease, then caressing down her thigh, following the path of her undies. Kneeling on the floor now, he pulled them off with a flourish, causing her to laugh breathlessly. He smiled and crawled back up the bed, his tongue following the route he'd taken in the opposite direction, turning her laughter into a gasp of surprise. Her legs clamped closed and he laughed this time, his tongue only tasting above her pussy, near her curls, then up to her belly button making her giggle.

Lifting his head, he smiled up at her, his black hair curtaining around his face.

"I take it you enjoyed that?"

"Yes, til you tickled me."

"Laughing is fine as long as you're not laughing at my performance." He scooted up next to her, kissed her mouth quickly then lay on his back, his head rested on his arms behind him on the pillow. "Now, it's your turn. Do whatever you want to me, touch me anywhere. I won't do anything until you ask me to."

Hermione sat up quickly, realizing he meant what he said. He was hers to explore and learn on. She knelt next to his waist, looking at his naked body, from head to toe, barely looking at his erection curving up and away from his firm stomach. "Anything?"

"Yes." He hissed as her fingers brushed against his hard cock, following the pulsing vein from base to head. She pulled away when he moaned slightly.

"No, don't stop."

"You like that?"

"Hell, yes." Severus breathed and watched her hands move closer to his cock, at first holding him lightly, then more firmly. He prayed for the strength to hold off long enough for her to actually take him inside her body.

"Severus, touch me...between my legs. I ache so much." She whispered as she caressed him firmly, cupping his balls in one hand as she felt his fingers start stroking her clit in time with her movements. His thumb rubbed there as his fingers burrowed lower and slid into her tight, wet heat, thrusting in and out slowly, her cum coating his fingers. Her body undulated in time with his thrusting fingers, her eyes partially closed in ecstacy.

"Oh! Oh, Severus!" She bit her lip as her pussy walls clenched around his fingers, more cum soaking his hand. Her fingers had stilled on him and he thanked the gods. He had been close to losing his control when she came for him. He watched her, his eyes dark with passion. Slowly, he pulled his fingers from her and raised his hand to his lips, licking her muskiness from each finger slowly, savoring the taste and smell. His eyes never left hers as she watched. She licked her lips unconsciously and moved to straddle him, unsure of what to do next. "Help me." She whispered softly, a little bit of a moan behind her entreaty. He reached down and positioned himself at her entrance.

"Are you sure? I'm not letting you go once you finish this, Hermione." He said huskily: he could feel the wet heat now coating his cock. She smiled at him and pushed down onto him, her mouth opening wide in surprise as he slid in, filling her tightly.

"Wow."

"You're tight, love. So fucking tight." He breathed, panting with the effort not to start thrusting up hard into her. She rested the palms of her hands on his chest, tweaking his nipples as she got used to his body's intrusion. Gently, he placed his hands on her hips and showed her how to rise and fall on him, riding him slowly until she got the rhythm and took over on her own. He gripped her hips harder as she caught on quick and moved over him. One hand slid down between their bodies and rubbed her clit in contrast to her movements. He wasn't going to last long, and he wanted her to come while riding him, to give her one more orgasm before he lost his control. She tilted her head back, her back arching,thrusting her breasts forward as he felt her pussy clench around him. A wordless scream, low and passion-filled joined his moan as he joined her, his fingers rubbing her clit harder, pushing her to another hard orgasm before she dropped down to rest on his chest, boneless. Their sweaty panting bodies stuck together in the cooling dungeon air.

Hermione tilted her head up to look into her husband's face. He looked so peaceful, moreso than she'd ever thought she'd seen him before. She'd read somewhere that men fell asleep soon after sex, so she rolled to his side, his arms still wrapped around her.

"You ok, Severus?"

"MMMmmm, yes. Are you?" He opened his eyes in concern. He smiled at the happy glow on her face.

"Yes. I can't wait to start my life over."

"Already have." He groaned and reached for his wand under his pillow, waving it at the door. "Sometimes, Tristyn has nightmares. I don't want her to worry about why the door is locked."

"She's wonderful, Severus. I hope I can be as good a parent as you are."

"You will be, Hermione. Go to sleep."

Hermione smiled as he yawned and rolled to face her, his arm resting cross her hip. She sat quickly and pulled the blanket up to cover them and leaned forward to kiss him gently before closing her eyes and falling into a quick sleep.


a/n~~'fans self' ok....that was way more graphic than i thought it would be...one more chapter to go, then maybe an epilogue...I'm almost sorry to see it end. *sniff, sniff*

thanks for the reviews, everyone and keep em coming, I wanna hear what you have to think about each chapter. be back in a couple days, gonna spend some time with my little guy in the hospital (he won't be getting out til the 14th, so i'm going back and forth). until then, enjoy

marti