How They Fell

Author's note: Hey guys, sorry for the delay with this one and thank you, all of you who have reveiwed, a lot. :)

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Chapter Twenty Eight


The three days of Christmas were hell for Draco. For the first time he was spending it at school, sitting alone in the Heads common room. He missed the manor, he missed their usual Christmas rituals, he missed the presents, but most of all he missed his mother. Her presence and love had always been the most important part of his Christmas, and with her absence it now felt empty and pointless.

It felt like a relapse into the depression he had suffered under for the majority of the term. Once more he found himself alone. Once more he had no family and no friends, but this time there was nothing to take his mind off it. For three days he slipped back into the black place from which he had so recently arisen.

The visit to his father on Christmas Eve had not helped matters at all. While Lucius did not try to hit him again he was as cold and dictatorial as ever and Draco was so sick of lying. He no longer wanted to even pretend that he was the same person that he used to be. But the worst thing was having to pretend that it wasn’t Christmas, that months hadn’t passed by, that his mother was still with him.

The start of the defence course came as a profound relief to him, and surprisingly he found that Potter was a part of that feeling. His continuous presence gave Draco other things to think about and the pleasant sensation of talking to someone his own age. Out of necessity Blaise had had to keep his distance for the last week of term, and not a word had been spoken between them as Draco had made his opening gambit for the leadership of Slytherin. With the three weeks of holiday this would have resulted in a month without contact with people his own age, a thought which made Draco shudder. The three days of Christmas had been more than enough.

And to his disbelief, he found that he actually quite liked Potter! Draco found that he was more mature than he had supposed, in fact, when you talked to him he seemed like a completely normal young man. They had a similar sense of humour, and (excepting potions) similar interests. Draco was almost horrified to find that it was only his own behaviour, the way he used to be and think, that had stopped him from realising that Harry Potter was a perfectly normal young man. He was nice for Merlin’s sake!

Of course he realised that Harry had changed too, or perhaps he hadn’t and it was just that Draco was now close enough to see the changes. He seemed friendlier than before, more relaxed somehow. He had a kind of comfort with who he was, instead of trying to hide away all of the time. Draco quickly noted his change of attire. Instead of the elephant skin rags that he used to wear, he now had well made clothes which fit and flattered him, as well as glasses which weren’t stuck together with Sellotape and which actually suited him.

When he had asked Harry about the change of look he had actually blushed slightly when confessing that Granger and the youngest Weasley had taken him shopping.

But perhaps most importantly, the proximity with Potter showed him that his main reason for hating Harry was completely unfounded. He had feverently believed that Harry Potter didn’t have to work, that everything came easily to him and that if it didn’t others made exceptions for him. The defence course made him see the truth. Potter worked hard to master what was taught to him. Draco knew the difficulty of the spells that Potter was learning as he had learnt them himself and he couldn’t deny that Potter faced the challenge with a single-minded determination that ensured success. And it was blindingly obvious that Moody and Tonks made no exception for him, in fact Harry was often pushed harder than he was.

After a couple of weeks working with him Draco had to acknowledge that Harry was a bloody good wizard. It wasn’t that he learned spells particularly quickly, but rather once he had learnt a spell and cast it, it was strong. He even spotted Moody struggling to rebuff some of the more violent curses and was shocked to find that Potter was surprisingly skilled at dark spells. Draco noticed that they tended to be the ones he picked up quickest and cast best. From the look he had caught on Moody’s face a couple of times the order were not unaware of this fact, however oblivious Harry was.

Flying with Harry was a memory which brought a smile to Draco’s face. With his new perception of him he no longer envied the others Quidditch abilities, but admired them for what they were. On a broom Harry was a star. Much like Krum it was evident that this was his natural element. On a broom he was graceful, quick, intuitive and inventive in ways which he rarely was on the ground. By the end of the practice session it seemed to Draco that Harry Potter in the air was the real Harry, the one who was hidden and disguised when he was on the ground. For the first time in his life Draco got a peak at why it was that the Dark Lord and his father could fear this slim young man.

It almost made him angry that Harry would attempt to hide his real strength of character. It seemed so opposed to everything that he was brought up to believe in. Malfoy’s did not flaunt their wealth and their power and position, they merely made sure that everyone was aware that they had them. Draco had been taught at a young age how to show people how strong you were, that was why he was the natural leader of Slytherin, and it seemed contrary to him for Harry to try to conceal the abilities which proved his worth.

The discovery of their ability to sense spells also revealed to Draco the hidden strengths of Harry Potter. He was under no delusion that it was he who made the original discovery, Harry had noticed it first. It was Harry who spotted the different tones between curses, describing the feeling to Draco thereby enabling him to sense it too. It was clear that Harry had acted as his teacher throughout the three days they had worked on their sensory magic. Although, Draco didn’t acknowledge this from any sense of false modesty, Potter had worked out most of the practical aspects of the discovery, but it had been him who had seen the potential directions that could be taken, he had been the one to research the theory.

The fact that they had worked so well together, their separate abilities and interests so easily combining together, left Draco completely nonplussed and he wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to respond.

That was getting to be a very common occurrence. Harry would do or say something which would leave Draco in a confused jumble of emotion. The old Draco would want to act one way, the new another and a completely separate third part, a way contrary to both. Harry Potter made him uncertain and unsure, when he had never been before. He did his best to hide it of course; no one unbalances a Malfoy and gets to see it! But it was unnerving none the less.

Perhaps it was his openness that did it, Draco mused. The way he freely acknowledged his feelings and didn’t try to hide the more personal facts of his life. In many ways this scared Draco, who was used to guarding his personal feelings so closely, but in another way it kind of fascinated him.

By the time they had lunch together Draco considered Harry a friend, although he was still confused about many things regarding the other young man. They had sat in a corner of an unused corridor, a situation that Draco would never have otherwise found himself in, and had talked and laughed all the way through lunch and for a good time beyond.

Come four o’clock Draco had found himself in a very un-Malfoyish position of lying, propped up on his elbows, eating his way through a bunch of grapes and chortling with mirth as Harry told him about his Apparation course and the way he had flung Mr. Plumpit across the classroom.

“So.” Harry said, once Draco had stopped choking on a grape. “Are you and Blaise good friends then?”

The question made Draco’s eyebrows rise in surprise; Potter must be more perceptive than he thought he was.

“Why do you ask?” He hedged.

“Well it was just that I saw the two of you in the Three Broomsticks a few weeks ago and I hadn’t realised that you were friends, especially as he had ignored you with all of the others. And, you know he was doing the Apparation course with me and we kind of became friendly.”

Again Draco felt surprise. Blaise really did hedge his bets, friends with the great Harry Potter. Draco made sure to store the information away for future use.

“Yeah, we’re good friends, more than we let on as well.”

“Why’s that?” Harry asked, reaching for another grape.

“Politics.” Draco answered. “Blaise likes to stay neutral most of the time, his family’s Italian you see so their not involved in our politics and Blaise uses that position for his own ends.”

“How?”

“Well, most of the time it just means that he watches his back. You’ll never find Blaise connected to a loosing side. He allies himself subtly with the most likely winners and if he turns out to be wrong it doesn’t harm him. If he had shown himself to be a clear friend of mine, as opposed to another Slytherin playing the game, then Nott would have had his head by now.”

“So as it is he uses his neutral position to appear disinterested, if not supportive of Nott while all the while carefully helping you?”

Draco’s mouth dropped open.

“How on earth did you guess?”

Harry shrugged.

“It makes sense. From what you just told me it seems his most likely course of action and it explains a few other things.”

“Like what?” Draco prodded.

“Like the fact that on the last Wednesday of term you sat down at the head of the Slytherin table with very little preparation. You wouldn’t do that normally. ”

Draco raised an eyebrow, how correct would Potter’s guessing be?

“Why not?”

“Because if you did it without any sort of support or stronghold from within the house you would have been hexed to pieces by the end of the day. Therefore you must of known that the majority of Slytherin would follow you, therefore Blaise must have told you.”

“Very good Potter.” Draco smirked slightly to cover his shock. “So tell me, how long is it since you became a Slytherin?”

He was rewarded with Harry’s friendly laugh and open smile.

“Always have been Malfoy, or at least a bit of me.” Draco watched with interest, as Harry’s face grew thoughtful and then darker as though the thought worried him slightly. “Well I like the politics really, it’s…interesting.” He finished, sounding very serious.

Draco was quite surprised when Harry obliquely changed the direction of the conversation. He had grown so used to Harry being honest and open about himself that when he moved to hide something it came as a little jolt. Somehow saddening to Draco.

“So how’s the bid for leadership going anyway?” He asked.

Draco nodded, also serious.

“Not bad. The holidays have come at a bloody inconvenient time, but give me two weeks when there all back and I’ll clinch it.”

“Why two weeks, you seemed to be doing well.”

Draco thought about it.

“Well the holidays will have allowed Nott and his flunkies to come up with a plan to stop me, so I’ll have to deal with that. Then there are a few ideas I want to drive into everybody’s heads and that’ll take a while.”

Harry frowned and rolled to a more comfortable position on his stomach to continue the conversation.

“What ideas?”

Draco paused for a moment, the Slytherin part of his consciousness wondering why on earth he was telling his plans to anyone else. Blaise didn’t even know all this information, and here he was telling Potter. Why was he telling him all this? He questioned himself. ‘Because you trust Potter not to use it against you.’ Was the answer, which quite frankly astonished Draco.

“What ideas?” Harry repeated.

Draco’s smile was twisted as he answered.

“Its rather simple really, I want to make it clear to Slytherin house that following that bastard is a bloody stupid thing to do.”

Harry sat up too quickly and choked on his grape. Draco found it quite amusing, but tried to stop the flow of questions which he was sure was coming.

“It’ll take a while to knock that idea into their thick skulls.” He half muttered, trying to hide his faint blush.

“You –you’re going to…?”

Draco rolled his eyes expressively, quickly becoming amused with Harry’s surprise.

“Yes Potter, I want to lead the whole of Slytherin house away from the clutches of the Dark Lord.” And then to tease him. “Really is that so surprising?” He asked with an innocent expression.

Harry gaped for a few moments. Then smiled slightly as he realised he was being teased.

“Yes it is you bastard, as you well know!” He replied, gently shoving at Draco’s shoulder.

Draco laughed.

“Got you though!” He said, smirking widely.

Now it was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes, then he pulled a particularly nasty face at Draco, who only laughed harder.

* * *

Moody and Tonks returned the next day. Draco had wanted one more session without them to ensure that he had it perfect. However, he would have to do as it was.

When asked if their blocking skills had improved Harry and Draco tried not to look smug. Instead they nodded demurely and answered that they thought they had. But they shared secret grins of delight as their teachers sent them to the other side of the room for a test on how far they had improved.

For Harry and Draco it was pure pleasure watching the twin looks of surprise slowly spread over their teacher’s faces. It took them three minutes to begin to realise that something was up and that neither boy had failed to block a curse. By five minutes they both looked amazed and by ten astonishment and just a touch of awe in Tonks eyes.

Harry heard Moody make a thoughtful humpf and his heart sank slightly, whatever it was it was not going to be good. His suspicions proved to be correct as Moody started throwing spells at him that he’d never heard before. He could tell just by their violent buzzing that they were very powerful dark curses. However, they worked the same way as the others, so he continued to block.

Eventually after another five minutes Moody lowered his wand with a humpf. Tonks lowered her wand too and stood back watching the more senior Auror deal with the situation.

Moody’s non-magic and magic eyes searched over one young man then the other. Eventually he spoke.

“Well…that was…impressive.”

Harry and Draco beamed. Tonks rolled her eyes.

“Honestly Moody, impressive? Most senior Aurors couldn’t hold up for half that long!”

Moody silenced her with a look, although she continued to mutter under her breath.

“So tell me lads, how did you do it and against curses that you couldn’t have known.”

Draco indicated that Harry ought to explain. Harry glared at him a bit before stepping forward and rather diffidently began to tell the Aurors about sensing the magic.

By the end of Harry’s tale Moody’s face was holding an expression that neither boy had ever seen there. His eyebrows had disappeared into his hairline and his eyes were thoughtful.

“Mmm, very complicated magic you two were messing around with.”

“Honesty Moody, ‘complicated magic.’” Mimicked Tonks. “’Messing around with!’ It’s the discovery of a lifetime! I…”

But the rest of her speech was cut off by Moody’s low growl.

“Well boys, that’ll be enough for today I think, you could both do with a rest and my associate and I have some things to discuss. Good day!” He quickly ushered them out of the room.

Draco and Harry managed to cover their smiles until they were inside a classroom a couple of corridors away, but once the door was closed their mirth over came them. Harry laughed so much he almost cried and Draco found himself sprawled across the floor with his back still leaning against the door.

“That…was…so…good!” He managed to gasp out.

“I…know!” Harry giggled back. “Th-the…look on Moody’s face!”

Draco fell into another fit of laughter, which Harry promptly joined him in.

After a while they both calmed down enough to finally stop laughing.

“Well I don’t know about you Potter, but I thoroughly enjoyed that.”

Harry smirked back at him.

“I did too, however part of me does wish that Dumbledore could have been there.”

“Ha! Yes! Imagine that! The look of shock on that old codger’s face, that would have been brilliant.” He turned to Harry still smiling and was taken aback by the serious look on the others face.

“What?” He asked tentatively.

Harry shot him a wary look, then sighed.

“It’s just – just that, you don’t like Dumbledore much do you?”

Draco looked at the uncertainty on Harry’s face and sighed inwardly, he had said something that hurt him. Draco very carefully began to explain.

“It’s not that I don’t like him, exactly. I just…well I don’t really, I suppose. I mean I respect him, you’d be a fool not to, and he was nice enough over my parents, it’s just…”

He broke off uncertainly. How could he explain to Harry about that one moment when he had stood in front of the castle and been made brutally aware that his life and everything he cared for was completely in the hands of somebody else and that he could do nothing about it?

Draco noticed that Harry was looking uncomfortable, especially at the mention of his parents. He sighed and continued.

“I was brought up with this belief, this unquestionable certainty that as Malfoy’s we were above and more powerful than anyone else. That for anyone else to have power over you was utterly shaming.”

Harry snorted. “Bit ironic considering your fathers day job.”

“Yeah, I know, hence why I didn’t want to join the death eaters.” Harry looked only mildly surprised, a fact that hearted Draco. “But the thing is, Dumbledore sort of does the same thing. Not the murdering and the torturing!” He said before Harry could interrupt. “But the leading, the commanding. As a member of the Order we are under his control, it’s a parallel to the Death eaters and Voldemort, and one I had hoped to escape. So you can see why I…resent him, just a bit.”

Harry opened his mouth, but again Draco cut him off.

“I know what you’re going to say, and yes of course its necessary and I understand that, and I’ve decided to live under it. But that doesn’t mean that I like it.”

There was a pause as Harry digested everything. Draco waited, slightly nervous for some reason, as though the next words were going to be a judgement on his character.

Then Harry nodded slightly.

“I know how you feel.”

Draco was rendered speechless. Harry’s smile was twisted as he answered.

“I spent most of fifth year fighting against the same feeling. That Dumbledore was running my life for me, keeping things from me. And he still, kind of, is.”

Draco spotted the slight sadness that was present in Harry’s voice.

“But only because he has to. He’s the only one who knows enough about Voldemort and about the war. Without him I would have got myself blown up years ago.” Harry said matter-of-factly, shrugging. “I try not to mind it.”

“I’m trying too, it just occasionally slips out.”

Harry smiled at him and Draco smiled back slightly feeling relieved but suddenly uncomfortable.

Harry cleared his throat quietly and shifted, a slight blush on his cheeks. But as his eyes rose to Draco’s, he could see the earnestness there.

“I’m sorry, a-about your parents.”

Draco felt floored, as though someone had kicked him in the stomach and oddly pleased all at once.

It was clear that Potter meant it, but how could he, after all his father had done?

“If, if you want to talk about it…”

Draco nodded quickly, desperate to get out of the situation. He felt hot and uncomfortable with embarrassment, but he didn’t know why he was embarrassed.

Standing up he said something that was meant to be, “yeah thank you, bye Potter,” but came out rather more like, “yhthankbypot,” and bolted out of the classroom.

* * *

Back in his room Draco was practically pulling his hair out with embarrassment.

What on earth had made him tell Potter any of that stuff???

It was all private, personal, not to be shared!

He’d even spoken about his parents!

Why?

What had come over him?

He curled up into a small ball in an armchair and hid his head in his arms.

Telling Potter, his hated enemy of six years his feelings and thoughts! Talking about being a Malfoy. Why he hadn’t joined the death eaters. His exact bloody opinions on Dumble-fucking-dore!

He lifted his head and banged it rhythmically against the back of the chair.

“You.” Bang. “Bloody.” Bang. “Fucking.” Bang. “Idiot!” Bang.

But just why? Why did he feel the need to tell Potter his life story?

He groaned loudly.

Shit! He should have seen this coming. He’d been building up to this for weeks! Gradually telling Potter more and more about him. ‘Oh yes Potter the form of the Bogart has changed for me…oh I’ve been too upset to play Quidditch and oh! Incidentally this is exactly how and why I plan to become leader of the Slytherins!’ God he was a fool!

What was it going to be next I wonder? ‘Oh no Potter my father’s still alive, he’s just lost his mind! And: why, yes I do fancy boys!’

“GARRRR!” He yelled, hitting his head against his knee. He wasn’t even supposed to acknowledge that kind of thing to himself, let alone Potter.

But why Potter? He wondered miserably.

Surely he was the last person he would talk to? Potter was his enemy for years! Even Dumbledore didn’t expect them to become friends.

Perhaps it was just Harry’s openness, the fact that he didn’t attempt to hide anything about himself, making Draco react the same way?

‘Yes,’ thought Draco, ‘that was part of it. But,’ and now he was being completely honest with himself, ‘it was also just a relief to get some of it out. To be able to talk to somebody, and for once in your life let your guards down a little.’

And part of him also liked the way Harry responded to his honesty. Sharing more of his feelings, sympathising, laughing. It…felt good when Harry paid attention to what he was saying, looking at him, a laughing smile, with understanding and – and caring in his eyes.

As the meaning of this last revelation hit Draco it was all he could do not to freeze up with shock.

He wanted Harry to care about him.

He wanted to tell Harry things so that he would look at him like that.

He…liked Harry Potter. And…wanted Harry Potter to like him back.

Oh God!!!

Draco could feel himself start to panic. Feel his body seizing up.

Harry Potter!

It was all too much! How? How could this have happened?

He hated the boy! Had done for six years and now…a couple of conversations, couple of smiles and there he was, a Malfoy, the prince of Slytherin, not only pouring his aristocratic heart out, but – but…fancying…

It was too foul to think about.

Draco hung his head in shame, fists rubbing into suddenly burning eyes.

He didn’t even allow himself to be attracted to men, and there he was making googly eyes at Harry sodding Potter, trying to get his attention, trying to make him like me! God he had turned into a Potter groupie!

What would his father say? What would his family think? And his mother, who had always told him she longed for grandchildren…what would she have said is she found out that he liked boys?

Draco violently broke off that line of thought.

No…being a Malfoy, rekindling his pride in his family, that was all that had got him through last term; he couldn’t turn his back on it.

The image of his grandfather, strong and dignified, like an old gnarled oak, once again strode through Draco’s head. He wanted so much to emulate him! He had to restore the Malfoy name and power. It was his duty as one of the blood. Therefore being gay and interested in Harry Potter of all people just wasn’t a possibility!

He would stop it!

He had to. It wasn’t a choice. It was necessary. His blood demanded it so he would do it.

Then why did the thought make his heart sink?

* * *

Draco strode into the classroom the following day resolute and determined, the mask of aloof neutrality firmly in place.

He greeted Tonks with a warm smile, determined not to alienate any of the remaining members of his family; extended the end of the smile to Moody out of politeness and then nodded coolly to Potter.

He turned away quickly trying to forget the confusion and concern that showed itself so clearly on Harry’s expressive face.

Damn it! Potter’s face! Potter. Potter. Potter!

He remained cold and unconcerned throughout the remained of the lesson. He didn’t acknowledge Potter, he refused to make eye contact and didn’t talk to him once. The few attempts that Potter made at conversation he replied to politely but disinterestedly.

“Hey.” Said Harry, falling into step beside him as he left the classroom. “Um, do you want to get lunch from the kitchens again?”

Draco feigned throwing a bored glance at Harry.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh.”

“No, I think I’ll just go back to by room and read a bit. School does re-start in four days.”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose it does.” Harry replied forlornly.

“Well bye then.” Said Draco with a forcefulness which made him wince. He immediately turned away down another corridor both to hide his face and to escape the look of hurt and confusion on Harry’s.

He strode along forcefully, furious that he was feeling bad for treating Harry like this. He was half way along when he heard Harry’s feint answering, “bye.”

His hands balled into fists and his eyes pressed closed, but he kept on walking