The Fortress Within

The next several hours were a blur for Severus


The next several hours were a blur
for Severus.  Minerva bathed
Treasure, and when she was once again bundled securely in a blanket, presented
her to her father.  Albus and Harry
offered quiet, reserved congratulations, not quite sure what else to say, given
the situation with Hermione.  The
two wizards took their leave and Minerva went into the bedroom to see if she
could be of any assistance.
 


His daughter lay sleeping in his
arms, having tired herself out in the screaming indignation that was her first
bath.  Severus sat on the sofa and
studied his child.  A thick layer of
downy black hair covered her head, showing the inclination to curl just at the
ends.  Of course, she was pale, all
babies were.  Her nose was tiny and
Severus hoped it would stay that way.  Her
lips were puckered up in a pout and she sucked instinctively on her lower lip in
her sleep.  None of her features
struck him as being his or hers, rather she seemed to be a perfect
blending of both. 


 


Both of them. 
He’d had brief flash ope wpe when the spell settled on him; a hope that
she would now stay.  Now he wasn’t sure if she was going to live or die. 
He didn’t know what was going on. 
He had spent years on the brink of his own destruction and he had never
been as terrified as he was now.  How
would he survive without her? 


 


He knew he would survive, he had
to for the tiny life cradled in his arms.  Treasure.
A future alone with a young witch who was his sole responsibility stared him in
the face.  He had no idea how he
would raise her.  There was too many
‘witch things’ that a girl had to learn. 
Potty training, hair brushing, dresses, makeup, hormones…. oh Gods her
first period. There were spells that even he, in all his experience, had never
been allowed to learn; magic that was solely reserved for the females. 
Who would teach her the things she had to know? 
He couldn’t do this alone.


 


His shaking hands reminded him
how late it was, or rather how early it was. 
Still fearful of the frailty of the tiny creature, he reclined back and
pulled Hermione’s blanket down to cover them both. He was exhausted, but had
no inclination to sleep until he knew what was going on. With Treasure snuggled
warmly against his chest, he waited.  As
distraught as he was, the intoxicating effect of a sweet smelling baby curled up
against him was something he had never experienced. 
His eyes grew heavy and he was just thinking how like dreamless sleep
this feeling was when he fell asleep.


 


Severus was asleep only little
more than an hour when Treasure began to wiggle and wail. 
He opened his eyes and sat up, clutching her closely. 
Ginny Weasley was sitting in a chair smiling sleepily at him. 
“I didn’t have the heart to wake the two of you. 
I just grabbed a catnap myself.  Give
her here; I’ll change her.  Poppy
wants to speak with you in the bedroom.”


 


He entered the room cautiously,
unsure of what he would find.  Poppy
sat dozing in a chair near the bed.  Hermione
lay sleeping, having been cleaned up and put in a fresh gown. 
Severus smiled and sat next to her on ted.&ed. 
He took her hand and whispered “Hermione.”


 


“Don’t expect her to
respond,” Poppy informed him, roused from her nap by his presence.


 


“What’s wrong with her?”


 


“I’m not really sure,
Severus.  She’s not exactly in a
coma, since she responds to the most rudimentary instruction, sit, stand, drink,
etc..  But, she’s not with us,
either.  My initial impression was
just that she had given up.  With
everything she’s been through, I can’t say as I could blame her, poor dear.
With Ginny’s help, I was able to run some tests. 
Her brain activity is off the scales, despite her outward appearance. 
We have reinforced the binding spell, lest any of the inner turmoil
decide to work its way out.”


 


Severus cocked his head and
studied Hermione.  He understood
what was going on.  Hermione was
fighting.  She was battling her
dark-side for her life back.  She
was fighting for her daughter and she was fighting for him. 
The idea was both comforting and frightening. 
What if she lost; lost either herself or her life? 
“Is she in any physical danger?”


 


Poppy rose and stood by his side. 
When she put an arm around his shoulder he did not pull away. 
“Not so far as I can tell.”


 


Severus was satisfied with this
answer.  “Then she stays here. 
I will care for her.  She’ll
be back, Poppy.  She will be
back.”


 


Poppy nodded. 
“OK, then.  Severus, you
need some sleep.  I’ll take the
baby with me. You try and get some rest.” 
Severus tried to protest her taking the child but was silenced by a stern
look.  “Sleep, now. 
There will be plenty of time to learn to change diapers later.  You won’t be much help to either one of them half-dead.”


 


Like a chastised schoolboy,
Severus nodded obediently.  Poppy
left the room with a promise to return with Treasure later. 

 


Severus put out the lamps and
undressed by firelight.  He crawled
into bed beside Hermione and pulled her to him. 
There was nothing there, no molding her body to fit his, no contented
sighs, no warmth.  It was as if he
held a doll, just a parody of the woman she truly was.  Still, he held her and drifted off into a troubled sleep.


 


He awoke to the bright light of
day and a glance to the table beside the bed told him it was near lunchtime. 
He was soon washed and dressed for the day. 
He came to crouch next to her side of the bed. 
“Hermione, Hermione.”  Still,
there was no response.  Remembering
what Poppy had told him he tried again.  “Hermione,
open your eyes, love.”  Her lashes
beat several times in rapid succession and then remained open and staring. 
“Good girl.  Come on now,
lets sit up.”  Obediently, she
moved to a sitting position.  Severus pulled the bedclothes down and swung her legs over
the edge of the bed.  When her
position changed, Severus could see a large red stain on the sheets under her. 

 


Quickly, he called Poppy and
frantically told her to come at once.  Ginny
arrived first, trailed by Poppy carrying his sleeping daughter. 
“Professor,” Ginny asked, panting to catch her breath from the run. 
“What is it?”


 


Eyes wide and a brain unable to
describe the horror, he pointed to the huge bloodstain on the sheets. 
Ginny tried valiantly to hide a smile, but the edges of her mouth rose of
their own accord.  “Relax, that’s completely normal.  She just leaked a bit.  Why
don’t you go with Poppy while I get her cleaned up a bit. 
I’ll have the elves take care of the bed.”


 


Severus watched in shocked
silence as Ginny prodded Hermione to her feet and led her to the bathroom. 
He turned away, nauseated a bit by the sight of the stain across the back
of her nightgown.  In the living
room, Poppy handed Treasure to him along with a bottle. 
The little girl was stirring now, mewling and making little sucking
noises with her mouth.  Under the
medi-witch’s close eye, he soon had her settled and smacking away softly at
her bottle.


 


Seemingly satisfied that he was
not going to harm the baby with his inexperienced touch, Poppy settled into a
chair.  “The bleeding is normal,
Severus. In two or three days we’ll perform some spells to put an end to it. 
The medical community has found that it’s better to let the body purge
itself naturally for a while, to reduce the chances of infection.”


 


Severus nodded dumbnot not quite
knowing how to process this information.  He
had no idea what new mothers went through and it only reinforced the idea that
he would never be able to properly instruct the tiny witch in his arms.


 


Withe hee help from Poppy, he
lifted the baby to his shoulder and patted her back gently. 
After a shockingly loud burp he looked down to see a large wad of spit up
on his immaculate black robe.  He
closed his eyes and swallowed down the sneering remark that came to his tongue
automatically. 


 


Poppy handed him a towel he
settled his daughter back down.  When
he began to wipe the remnants of her lunch from her mouth her hazy blue eyes met
with his.  The air between them
crackled almost audibly.  He could
feel the most primitive forms of magic were flowing through this little girl. 
The Dark Lord was right; this child would be powerful. 
Pride surged through his body and Poppy smiled as his chest puffed out,
just a bit.


 


Ginny emerged a short time later. 
“Hermione’s cleaned up and I gave her her lunch. 
If you tell her to eat, she eats.  She
just won’t feed herself.  I’ve
had the elves bring down the bassinette you had set up upstairs as well as some
clothes, diapers, and other necessities.  I
assume you’re staying down here for the time being.”


 


Severus nodded, afraid to speak
lest he wake Treasure.  Ginny came
over and peered down at the sleeping babe. 
“I’ll be back later to tend to Hermione again.  If you need anything, just floo me.”


 


Poppy rose to leave as well. 
“If she gets hungry, just have the elves bring a bottle. 
I trust you can manage the diapers?”


 


Severus still remained silent but
raised one eyebrow at the medi-witch with disdain.


 


Poppy still looked skeptical, but
nodded and the two witches left him with his charge.  He carefully got to his feet and took his daughter to her
bed.  He stripped off his soiled
robes only to find it had soaked through to his shirt as well. 
He left both lying on the bathroom floor. 
The July heat was oppressive during the height of the day, even in the
dungeons.  Not bothering to don another shirt, he went to sit with
Hermione on the bed.  Her eyes were
open and vacant.  He drew her up to
lay in his arms, her cheek pressed against his bare skin, right over his heart.


 


He spoke to her, telling her
things that should have been said before now. 
Circumstances had prevented him from sha so so many things with her. 
No more.  No more fear.  “I
love you, Hermione.  I need you to
be here with me and with our daughter.  She’s
our daughter, love.  Really
and truly ours.  I would have
kept her even if she wasn’t mine.  She
was yours and that’s all that matters.  Come
back to me; come back to us.”


 


He spent the next two hours runnins fis fingers through
her hair, stroking her back, and talking.  He
told her the things that he had never shared with anyone else. 
Things about his childhood, his father, his days as a bona-fide
Deatheater.  Tears of shame workeheirheir way down his cheeks; tears that should have been shed a long time ago. 
 


He told her how scared he was. 
Terrified at the prospect of raising their daughter alone. 
Severus begged and pleaded, but to no avail. 
Hermione spent the afternoon blankly staring at nothing while his pain
soaked her hair. 


 


Just as Treasure was starting to
stir, there was a soft knock at the door.  Severus
eased Hermione back onto her pillow and moved to pick up the baby, stopping to
answer the don hin his way to the bassinette. 

 


Ginny halted him long enough to place a kiss on the
irritated child’s head.  “I came
to change Hermione’s, ummmm …..pads again,” 
she explained, turning several shades of red.  Severus nodded and took the baby out into the living room,
where Poppy had set up what she called a changing station in the corner of the
room.
 


He unwrapped the baby and studied
the gown she was in.  After some
examination he discovered the bottom was held shut with a drawstring and opened
it up to reveal her thin, little legs.  Carefully,
he worked the gown up and was presented not only with a sodden diaper, but the
most disgusting looking dried thing above it. 
Severus knew enough about human anatomy to deduce that this was where the
cord had attached Treasure to Hermione.  He
also knew that, somehow, this thing would turn into a belly bu.&nb. 
For right now, he slid the gown back down to cover it, not even wanting
to see the shriveled up piece of matter.


 


Severus turned his attention to
the diaper.  He studied its
arrangement on the little body and with a wave of his wand, had the side tapes
released.  He was horrified to find
when he tried to pull the wet material from underneath her the weight of her
body came to and he just grabbed her before she tumbled to the floor.


 


Treasure had begun howling in
frustration and her little body had turned a furious red. 
Carefully, Severus slid the palm of his hand under her bottom and lifted
her slightly, allowing the dirty diaper free to be removed. 
Dirty diaper, he noted, not just wet. 
His hand was covered in a sticky, foul smelling, tar like material that
he couldn’t believe came from this little girl. 
There was now poop all over the table as well as his hand and he searched
fruitlessly for something to clean everything up with. 

 


The basin stood empty, he had
forgotten to fill it before he started.  Severus
picked up a dry cloth and attempted to clean his hand, but only succeeding in
smearing the mess around.  Likewise,
he tried to clean Treasures little bottom with a similar outcome. 

 


His daughter’s cries were
coming in hic’s now.  The bedroom
door opened and Ginny walked out to survey the scene. 
At the sight of Severus, hand covered in poop, trying to figure out how
to put a diaper on a still dirty baby, she burst out laughing. 
“Keep hold of her, Professor while I get some water.”


 


She returned a few minutes later
with the basin filled with warm water.  Ginny
took several clean clothes and saturated them. 
One, she handed to Severus to clean his hand and with another she began
to wipe the mess up off the table.  “Now,
watch,” she instructed.  With one
hand she lifted Treasure’s bottom up off the table by her ankles. 
Efficient movements cleaned the slimy substance from soft skin. 
Setting the cloth aside, she slipped a clean nappy underneath and with a
wave of her wand had the tapes fastened.  To
Severus’ amazement this whole procedure had taken less than two minutes.


 


“Think you’ll be ok to do the
next one, Professor?”  She
inquired.


 


“I assure you, Miss Weasley, I
am a quick study.  Thank you.”


 


Ginny gave him a bright smile. 
“If you need anything, call.  Given
all that screaming she should settle right down with a bottle and be back to
sleep in no time.  I’ll be back
tonight to help you with her bath.”


 


Ginny was right. 
Within an hour both Mother and Daughter were asleep in the bedroom under
Severus’ watchful eye.


 


At suppertime, Severus floo’d
the elves for a tray and woke up Hermione. 
He was sure she would need to use the bathroom and he had no intention of
waking Poppy or Ginny during the night to tend to either Hermione or Treasure. 
He would care for them both.  He
steeled himself and told her to stand.  By
the hand he led her to the bathroom and slipped the huge panties she wore to her
ankles.  When she was seated he
looked around for more of the pads that were now soaked with blood.  He found them under the sink and quickly had the soiled one
replaced.  He was mentally patting
himself on the back as he led Hermione back to the bed. 
Once he had her settled he fed her and himself, chatting away to her
about his first diaper changing experience.


 


True to her word, Ginny appeared
shortly after supper, just as Treasure was finishing up a bottle. 
Severus burped her while Ginny filled the basin up. 
“Now, she can’t have a proper bath until her cord falls off. 
For now, just wipe her off good.” 
She kept the baby wrapped in a soft towel, exposing only the part she was
washing.  When she was finished, she
handed the sweet smelling bundle to Severus and silently watched as he struggled
to diaper and dress her for bed.
&nbs 


It took him quite a while to work
the amazingly stiff limbs into the tiny clothing, but he finally was successful.
He was proud to tell Ginny that she didn’t need to take Hermione to the
bathroom, that he had seen to her himself. 
Still wanting to be of assistance, Ginny offered to feed the baby, if he
wanted to get changed.  Severus
offered profuse thanks, realizing how he must look (and smell) after 2 days
without bathing.  He showered,
shaved, and changed into a pair of boxers.  
He took the time to again tend to Hermione in the bathroom and change her
gown. Wrapping himself in a light robe, he found Treasure and Ginny curled up on
the sofa.  He took his drowsy
daughter and again thanked the young witch for all of her help.


 


Severus took his daughter to the
bedroom and shucked off his robe.  He
crawled into bed with Treasure and leaned against the headboard, holding her
against his chest.   The quiet
night and the baby sleeping lulled him. He recalled an old Flemish lullaby, but
could not remember where he had heard it.  It
was the only suiting song he knew.  Softly,
the words and melody came to his lips.  In
his deep baritone he sang to the Mother as well as their child.


 


A little fairy comes at night,
Her eyes are blue, her hair is brown,
With silver spots upon her wings,
And from the moon she flutters down.

She has a little silver wand,
And when a good child goes to bed,
She waves her hand from right to left,
And makes a circle round its head.

And then it dreams of pleasant things,
Of fountains filled with fairy fish,
And trees that bear delicious fruit,
And bow their branches at a wish.