Fire and Water

OK so I teased you a little. We aren\'t quite at reunion yet - tune in tomorrow (maybe)



Chapter Twenty Six



Krystal needed some space. She went into her room and closed the door. She leant her forehead against the wood for a minute, fighting down the burn of misery inside her chest. The grief she’d felt when she’d heard about Albus’ death was still too raw to be talking so freely about him now, but she knew she must continue with their plans.



Krystal felt exhausted. She had been living almost as a Muggle for 16 years, only beginning to use her skills seriously again after Albus had convinced her 2 years ago to come back to the country and join the Order. Although it felt good to be using magic practically again, it still tended to tire her. Add all that to the shock she’d felt at seeing Harry, and the lack of sleep over the past few days, it was no wonder she felt drained.



She sighed. Talking about them, remembering them had been much more difficult than she thought it would be. Images of her former friends ran through her mind and she banged her head none to gently against the door. She shouldn’t have mentioned that she knew Harry’s parents. He would want to press her for details of her relationship with them; with the Marauders. Details she was unwilling to rehash. She shook her head and lifted it from the door.

‘He would have found out anyway,’ she thought to herself. ‘There is still one Marauder left.’



She sat on her bed and, unable to resist the urge, pulled out a photo album from underneath. She flicked over her baby photos and the photos of her childhood until she found the one she wanted. Her parents. They looked so happy in this picture. They were at her seventeenth birthday party, held in the holidays before her Seventh Year at school. They were dancing together, gazing into each others‘ eyes; her father holding her mother like she was made of glass - gently, tenderly. Krystal had taken the photo and remembered feeling a little embarrassed that her parents were acting so soppy in front of her friends.

“Hi Mum, hi Dad,” she whispered, running her finger gently over each of their faces. They turned and smiled at her. She smiled sadly back, watching them dance for a minute longer before turning the page.



More photos from her birthday party, but this time she was in them. Dancing with her friend’s Mary and Alice. ‘What had happened to them?’ she wondered.

Levitating Peter Pettigrew into the air without a wand. Krystal smiled grimly: Remus had distracted her with a kiss on the back of the neck and the heavyset boy had come crashing to the ground. She took that photo out and Vanished it. She hated Peter, even at school, and knowing what he was, how he’d become a traitor….



She took a breath and looked at the remaining photos. There she was, watching and laughing as James Potter and Sirius Black pretended to feed each other cake; and ending up smashing it into each others’ face. Posing with Lily Evans, both of them flirting playfully for the boy behind the camera, Remus Lupin. She and Lily both waving frantically at Remus and, in the next photo, he was smiling shyly from under both their arms. A group shot with all of her friends yelling ‘Happy Birthday’ as her dad took the photo. Krystal smiled. It had been a wonderful party, the last with her family and friends all together. She turned the page.



She felt heat shoot through her body as she stared at the photo. It was of her with Remus; just the two of them for a change. They were at her party, but had managed to find a quiet corner. They were sitting close together on the couch talking. Then Remus reached over and gently brushed a tendril of hair away from her eyes, both their faces reddening a little as the side of his hand grazed her face.



Krystal could still feel the brush of his hand against her skin. Her breathing quickened and her heart clenched at the memory of what they’d been talking about on that couch; what had happened between them that night. It had been years since she’d had the courage to look at these pictures and as she did, old, unresolved feelings came flooding back; feelings she had repressed for so long.



She could still feel Remus’ touch, his lips on hers, his body inside hers. She could still smell his scent, taste his skin on her tongue. In her dreams he still made love to her, whispering how much he loved her and how he would for the rest of his life - just like he used to. And when she woke in the morning, in the moments before reality hit, she still felt for him, feeling bereft when she realised he wasn’t there.



She shook herself. Too much had happened, too many bridges burnt. He was involved with someone now, she knew. She felt a sob rising in her throat and tore her gaze from the picture. She had killed any hope for a future for them a long time ago. She went to close the album, glancing carelessly at the last photo on the page. She stopped and opened the album fully again. This picture also made her pulse race, but for a different reason.



In the last photo, she was standing with a dark haired young man who was trying to walk out of the picture. Her younger self kept pulling him back. Krystal tore back the protective plastic that had held the photo in place for all these years. She had forgotten about this photo, she realised as she held it up with a trembling hand. Her mother must have slipped it in with the others.



The album slid off her lap forgotten as she stared at the two people in the photo. Memories of the last times she had spent with Severus flooded through her and she closed her eyes. The dark self loathing and anger she had finally managed to pull herself out of, bubbled up, simmering just below the surface. Krystal knew that to dive into it would numb her; shield her. But she refused to give in to her shadows anymore.



Krystal lowered the photo and, with her shaking hand, slowly crushed it. She’d lost everything by the end of that last night with Sev - her friends, her family, Remus. Her anger; her fear of being weak and helpless had destroyed everything she loved, and had very nearly cost Krystal her sanity as well as her life. She would give anything, anything, to be able to take back the events of that night.



She slammed the album shut with her foot and pushed it back under her bed, hearing it scrape the floor as it went. It wouldn’t do her or Harry any good for her to dwell in the past. She heard a knock on the bedroom door. She stood and tore up the crumpled photograph, magically Vanishing it with a flick of her fingers. She ran her hands through her hair and tried to regain a little composure before she faced Harry.



**************************************************************************************************************



Harry stood up from the stairs and walked back inside. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting on the veranda, but the soup he’d eaten for lunch was long gone. His stomach growled as he looked around the cottage. He couldn’t see Krystal. Her bedroom door was closed and as he stepped closer, he heard a scraping noise from inside. He knocked and waited for Krystal to open the door. When she did, he could see she was upset, although she was trying hard not to show it. Her hair was rumpled and her face was tense and pale. She tried to smile when she saw him, and moved out into the living room.



“I suppose I’d better tell you more about what I’m supposed to be teaching you,” she said abruptly.

Harry, his hunger forgotten, was a little taken aback. He had expected to have to ask about the lessons he was supposed to have with her.

‘Albus felt that although you had learnt a little of the horrors of Dark Magic, that you may be still ill equipped to actually face it,” she said looking closely at Harry as she spoke.

“And after what I saw today, I agree with him.”



Harry’s temper rose a little as he said “Well, I suppose I’ve only fought Voldemort four times…….”

Krystal interrupted him, impatiently saying, ‘Albus explained that. I’m not doubting your courage, Harry. That’s not what I meant.’

She came closer to him. ‘You aren‘t prepared to do the worst, no matter how much you think you are. You aren’t ready to hurt; to kill.’



She saw his mouth open again and held up a hand, magically halting his words in his throat.

‘The spells the Death Eaters know, that they will use against you….I’ve seen what they can do, Harry. You aren‘t prepared to face them; you don’t know what you’re getting into. If you did, you would have been a hell of a lot more terrified this morning when you thought I was one of them.’



She lowered her hand and looked at Harry, noticing the look of anger still on his face. Deciding a change of tack was needed, she turned and walked to the other side of the room.

‘Got your wand?” Harry frowned slightly and pulled his wand out of his back pocket. ‘Good - o,’ said Krystal cheerfully. ‘I want you to curse me. Shouldn’t be too hard for you given the way you’re glaring at me. Go ahead,‘ she said nodding as Harry hesitated.

‘Or would you like me to curse you first?’ she said cheekily, as she raised her hand. ‘I’d be more than happy to.’



‘Stupefy!’ Harry sent a stream of red light straight at Krystal’s chest.

He was determined to show her he had what it takes to fight - and win. Too late he noticed she did not have a wand. He stepped forward, panicked, but Krystal raised her hand and waved it as if she were swatting away a fly. A stream of bright white light knocked the red light back at Harry, who quickly ducked.

He stood slowly and looked carefully at Krystal, who said ‘You hesitated, Harry - you weren‘t prepared to hurt me, even though I would’ve happily hurt you.’



He ignored her words; she still held no wand. ‘Where is your wand?’ he asked. Krystal moved to the couch and sat down.

‘Wandless magic,’ she said.

‘Yes but that was…..’ Harry trailed off. He’d never seen a spell being deflected without a wand before.

‘Incredible? Amazing?’ Krystal suggested with a smile.

‘Bloody brilliant!’ burst out Harry. Krystal grinned at him. ‘Can you teach me that?’ he asked eagerly.

She shook her head and laughed a little at the disappointed expression on his face.



‘I was born into a legacy of extraordinary magic, Harry,’ she explained. ‘Many of the women from my father’s bloodline have had the gift of wandless magic from an early age. It comes to me as naturally as breathing. I have been told that my particular gift is stronger than usual; I don‘t need a wand to cast any curse, hex or charm, although it is easier to use one for some tasks.’

Thinking how cool it would be to be able to flick his fingers and turn Draco Malfoy into a slug, Harry exclaimed, “I would love to be able to have power like that!”



Krystal’s smile faded a little as she seemed to drift away for a moment. “It can be both a gift and a curse,’ she said, her voice light but her eyes clouding for a moment. She blinked and seemed to refocus on him.

“With magic like this comes a lot of responsibility to use it correctly,’ she said, sitting back with a slight smile. “So as fitting as it would be to see Lucius Malfoy’s son turned into a slug, it wouldn’t be right to abuse magic in that way.’



Harry looked at her in surprise. How had she known what he was thinking? She laughed at his shock.

‘I am also a natural Occlumens, I’ve been hearing people’s thoughts since I was a child. I’ve learnt to block it out; I respect people‘s privacy,” she said hastily as a look of horror spread across Harry’s face.

‘Although it has often come in handy,’ she muttered under her breath, chuckling a little at his expression.

It had been a boost to her self esteem to overhear him admiring her ass earlier. It had been a long time since she was around anyone, let alone a male and it was nice to hear compliments again - even if they were from the teenage son of her former best friend.



Harry, distracted by trying to remember what thoughts he’d had about her that were either not particularly nice or far too appreciative, glanced at her. Her whole face transformed when she laughed. She lost the tense look she wore and her face softened, making her look younger. Her eyes twinkled and colour rose in her cheeks. Suddenly, she was beautiful, and it hit him. He had seen her before.



“Hey, you’re in a photo with my mum and dad,” he said moving to his rucksack to pull out the picture. He quickly found a younger Krystal in a group shot of his parent‘s Hogwarts graduation. She was standing in the middle of the group, between Lupin and Sirius, behind James and Lily, her arms around the men’s waists. The teenaged Krystal was laughing as Sirius turned to kiss her cheek, but was playfully defended by Lupin, who smiled as he gave Sirius a shove on the shoulder.



“That is you, isn’t it?” he said showing the photo to Krystal. She looked at the photo, recognising it as one she’d taken. Albus had asked her years ago if he could take some of her old photos to give to Harry. She turned away, unable to look at their happy faces without wanting to cry for all that had happened.



Harry noticed that as Krystal looked at the photo, her face paled and she turned away quickly.

“Yes, that’s me,” she said, as she stood and walked back to the other side of the room. “We don’t have a lot of time, Harry. Let’s talk about how I’m going to help you.” She watched as he put the photograph away. He stood and faced her.



“So, you won‘t be teaching me wandless magic or Occlumency?” Harry said, wondering at her change in mood.

“Oh no,” said Krystal. “Unless it is a natural gift, wandless magic is difficult to master and has its limits, and the ability to see into someone’s mind…“



She paused here and seemed to think for a moment. “It’s a invasive gift, but one that has come in handy on occasion. I understand you’ve had your own experience seeing and hearing other’s thoughts.”

She didn’t give him a chance to respond as she looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m not sure that I would discourage you from using that particular gift when you felt it necessary.”



Harry looked curiously at her. “Dumbledore made me have Occlumency lessons with Snape to try and block Voldemort’s thoughts. He didn’t want me…..”

Krystal nodded. “I’m aware of that, and believe me, in normal circumstances, you don’t want to have access to the Dark Lords’ mind…but things have changed. Being able to see into Voldemort’s’ mind: that may be of greater use than anything I can teach you.”



She stared into his eyes for a few seconds, not seeming to really see him, but to be looking for something. “I know you have faced Voldemort more than once and walked away to tell the tale. That in itself is extraordinary. The connection between you and he……”

Krystal stopped talking abruptly. A gargled noise came out of her mouth and she grabbed at her throat.



Shocked, Harry ran across the room to her but by the time he reached her, the noise stopped and she let her hands drop. She was panting a little as she said “T….tongue bind hex. I did wonder if he was s….serious….”

She moved to the couch and dropped onto it, poking her tongue in and out of her mouth several times. “I guess that’s something Albus didn’t want me to discuss with you.”



Harry sat down heavily beside her and almost growled in frustration. “Well, who can tell me about it? Dumbledore’s dead - if I need to know…”

Krystal put her hand on Harry’s arm. “Listen, that man was cannier than any fox. He will have made sure there’s a way for you to get all the information you need, when you need it.”

She noted the doubtful look Harry gave her. “Harry, he cared deeply for you. I know he made mistakes before; withheld information he should have given you, but he was a brilliant man who learnt from his errors.” She squeezed his arm. “ Have some faith.”



Harry still looked unsure. ‘Why didn’t he trust me? Why can’t I know everything? It’s my life we’re talking about here?’ he said, getting angry.

Krystal stood, pacing the room. He sounded so much like her at eighteen, raging at Albus for not telling her all he should have until it was too late for her to go back.



‘I do understand, Harry,’ she said, pausing for a moment to smile grimly at him. ‘Better than you know. But when you care about someone - it is a difficult decision to make. To tell them everything when you know it’s going to change who they are. He didn’t want to hurt you, to change you by giving you too much information too young, but he should have trusted you more. I told him that. I told him he should have learnt from his mistakes with me.’



Harry looked at her, his temper fading as curiosity took over. ‘What did he keep from you?’ he asked. She frowned, ran her hands over her face and sighed.

‘Magic, powerful magic, can alter you if you allow it to. Make you capable of things you never thought possible. If you use it to do good, then it is an incredible gift, but if you choose to use it unwisely….. I didn’t know that; I found out too late to stop it from beginning. If he’d told me when I was younger what I was capable of, told me exactly what he was afraid of, my life could be very different right now.’



She shook her head. She’d spent years blaming him, but now had accepted the truth. She had taken responsibility for her own actions. ‘But we make our own choices, Harry. I chose my path - even after I had all the information. I could have had tried harder to stop myself. It was my own weakness, not Albus’, that did this to me.’

Krystal looked at Harry. ‘Sometimes it is better not to know. Not to know what kind of person you are capable of becoming.’



Harry stared at her. ‘But you don‘t seem like a bad person, Krystal….’

She laughed, but there was no humour in her eyes. ‘I’ve made horrible choices, done terrible things,‘ she said softly. Tears shone in her eyes, but she blinked them away. ‘I’m not a good person, Harry. Not anymore.’