Potions and Parchment Match

“I can’t believe that for all of these years my grandmother has essentially left my mother here as a prisoner in her own body! Why would she do that?” Neville demanded of the young doctor in front of him.

Millie squeezed her husband’s hand in support and offered him an encouraging smile. She didn’t understand it either, but she didn’t yet feel secure enough in her marriage to second guess his grandmother, especially since she had yet to meet the Longbottom Matriarch.

“It is my understanding that your grandmother felt that your mother would not want to live without your father and she felt that she was doing her a kindness,” he said.

“What rubbish!” Neville raged. “How can she possibly think that anyone would want to live in a hospital room for over fifteen years instead of in a real home? How could she think that my mother would want to abandon me?”

“Can I be completely frank with you, Mr. Longbottom?” the doctor asked, leaning forward across his desk.

Neville glanced at Millie briefly and then nodded to the doctor. “Please,” he said.

“I have a feeling that your grandmother has no real feelings for your mother. She ignores her and spends all of her time talking to your father. I think that that she is unwilling to risk someone else having control over him. If your mother was well she would be in charge of your fathers care, no your grandmother.”

“My grandmother is a bit of a control freak,” he said. “So tell me, what can be done?”

“As the only child of Frank and Alice Longbottom, you are their legal guardian now. AS soon as you turned seventeen guardianship would automatically be given to you. Your grandmother knew this as I told her that some time ago. She informed me that you were still at Hogwarts and would not be of age until next year.”

“I turned seventeen in July,” he said thinking that it was his birthday that had caused their torture. Voldemort hadn’t known whether it would be Harry or himself who would defeat him and had sent his followers after the Longbottoms. He had only knows that it was the child of the couple who had thrice escaped him and that the child would be born at the end of July. In the end, both of them had played a part in Voldemort’s downfall.

“Now the decisions are yours to make. If I understand you correctly, you would like to take your mother off of her sedative potions and do what needs to be done to make her well?”

Neville nodded. “Definitely. What kind of recovery can we expect?”

“I think that with some therapy she will make a complete recovery, however, I am not sure to what extent her brain damage is. She hasn’t been lucid enough to evaluate her. My predecessor went along with your grandmother and chose to ignore all the signs that your mother could make a full recovery. When I took over the magical maladies ward a year ago and approached your grandmother regarding your mother’s condition she told me in no uncertain terms did she want to change the care that your mother was receiving. She was adamant about keeping everything the same.”

“So what do you suggest we do now, Dr.?” Millie asked looking at Neville. She could tell how much he was hurting and she wanted to help him.

“We will start by weaning her from her sedatives. She has been taking them for so long that we can’t completely stop or there could be consequences. She is likely addicted to them and the withdrawals could be painful. When she is lucid we will begin treating her with memory potions and speech therapy.”

“How long will this process take?” Millie queried.

“I would venture to guess approximately three months. I must caution you against expecting an overnight improvement. These things can’t be rushed,” he warned.

“Doctor, while we are weaning my mother from her current potions I would ask that my grandmother not be informed. I know that she visits my father once a week, so perhaps during the time that she is here my mother could be taken elsewhere? If my grandmother does not know what is going on, it would make all of our lives easier.”

The doctor smiled. “I couldn’t agree with you more. I will see to it. If you could stop by here tomorrow, I can have the change of orders prepared for your signature. I can’t legally begin changing anything without your consent.”

Neville smiled. “What time?” He knew that he would have to face his grandmother eventually regarding this matter, but he preferred to wait until his mother was well on her way to recovery. He didn’t want to take a chance on her finding out and somehow stopping the process.

“What brought you to England, Ms Campbell?” Molly asked the younger witch.

“I needed a change of pace. I just went through a messy divorce and I wanted to get away,” Maeve said with a smile.

“A divorce?” Molly all but shrieked. “The wizarding world does not divorce!”

“In America they do,” she said with a shy smile. “My husband wanted a large family, and I just wasn’t interested in being a mother.”

“You don’t want to be a mother?” Molly asked, appalled. “How can you not want to be a mother?”

“I am the oldest of twelve children, Mrs. Weasley. I have spent my entire life raising my brothers and sisters. If I never change another poopy diaper or have to get up in the middle of the night with a sick kid I will die a happy witch.”

“But children can bring you such joy!”

“Children have brought me nothing but headaches and aggravation! I do not want to reproduce and be stuck with one of my own!” she empathetically denied.

“I’ll agree with that!” Ron said with a huge grin on his face. He handed his mother a glace of champagne and said, “Would you like to take a walk?” as he held his hand out to Maeve.

The young witch smiled up at the even younger wizard and smiled. “I sure would,” she said with a dismissing nod to Molly.

“Well!” Molly hissed. She did not like this witch at all!

“What wrong, dear?” Arthur asked sitting down next to his wife at the table. “Who was that with Ron?”
“A very disturbed witch!” she said shaking her head. “She is an American witch, and divorced at that! Can you imagine, Arthur, she doesn’t want children?”

Arthur watched his youngest son wrap his arm around the waist of the witch and escort the older woman out of the tent. “Really?” he said, humoring his wife. His thoughts were racing ahead to what kind of mischief Ron was going to cause next. He figured a divorced older woman from America was probably a bad combination for his already egocentric son.

“Care to blow this reception and go somewhere with a little less family members?” Ron asked the witch, trying to play it cool.

“How old are you?” Maeve asked. She knew he was young, but she liked younger men. They could always perform on demand and keep up with her enormous urges. She liked his well built body and could see all of the muscles rippling under his shirt. She just wanted to make sure that he was legal.

“I’m of age,” he said, not wanting her to think him a baby.

She grinned. “In that case, would you care to join me for a nice glass of champagne in my flat?” she purred leaning into him and licking down the side of his neck.

“Is that all you’re offering?” he hissed in pleasure.

“What more are you looking for?” she coyly asked as she reached down and squeezed his already throbbing cock. “My, my, you are of age, aren’t you? I like a real man,” she said pulling him close and rubbing her full breast against his chest.

“He’s no real man!” Fred hooted when he heard the exchange between the two. He had been shocked to see little Ronnie and his new assistant flirting and had quickly gone for George so that they could carry out their plans.
“Definitely not a man,” George agreed with a huge grin.

“Gods! Would you two bugger off!” Ron shouted. He was getting sick of all his family members.

“Funny you should use the term, “off”, little Ronniekins!” Fred said laughing. “Don’t you think, George?” he howled.

“Off is such a funny word,” George agreed pulling his wand out of his pocket and pointing it at his brother.
“I think that potion will still work with his left testicle. He was, after all, a weasel. “

“No! You can’t!” he screamed backing up and hiding behind Maeve.

“Oh yes we can, Ronnie!” Fred said sending a stunning spell at his brother. “Sorry, Maeve, but you’ll have to find another boy to play with tonight. Ronnie here is about to lose his left testicle!” he said winking at the witch.

Maeve smiled and took a step back. She had already been informed of the prank and couldn’t wait to see it play out. “Sorry, Ron, you would have been fun,” she said squeezing his now flaccid cock and walking away.

“Wait! Get my mum! Don’t let them mutilate me!” he shouted. He could move, but he could still speak. They had only stunned him from the neck down. They wanted to be able to hear him scream.

“Oh I can’t do that Ron. I don’t think that your mother likes me very well,” she smiled as she walked out of the range of his vision. She made sure to stay close enough to watch though. She was startled to see several other younger wizards and witches watching from around another corner. They must have put a silencing spell around them because it was obvious that all of them were laughing hysterically.

“Fred! George! Wait! You don’t want to do this! You can’t do this to me! I’m your brother!” he begged. He knew his two brothers would do anything for a new potion and more galleons.

“I have a new wife and daughter to support, I need the money,” George said shaking his head. “Fred here has a wife as well.”

“Yeah, Angelina has very expensive tastes. We’ve just bought a new house. With the galleons we’ll make off your testicle we’ll be as rich as Malfoy,” he sniggered.

“Besides, you don’t need it. You don’t want kids anyway,” George reminded him.

“I changed my mind! I do want kids!” he screamed in panic. His heart was racing and he wanted desperately to run, but the stunning spell kept him pinned to the ground.

“Get his pants Fred,” George said pointing his want at Ron’s middle. “I think that we should get both testicles. Twice the galleons and all that,” he said calmly. Inside he was desperately trying not to let his true mirth show.

Fred reached down and yanked down his brothers pants leaving him exposed for all to see. “Not very impressive is he?” he asked his twin.

“Well not really, but I guess we could take in to account the shrinkage factor when it is so cold out,” he said shaking his head.

“If is shrunk anymore, George, he wouldn’t have anything at all to cut off!”

George turned around pretending to look for witnesses and tried not to laugh out loud. He had never wanted to laugh so bad in his entire life. “Ok, Fred, cut them off, nobody is around.”

“No!” Ron screamed. “No! Don’t do it!” he cried out, tears of fright streaming down his face.

“Sorry, bro, we need the galleons,” Fred said. He flashed his wand at his brother, causing a sharp stab of pain and then made his brothers testicles disappear with a glamour spell. As Ron closed his eyes in pain and screamed George dropped a blood bomb on him and Fred wiped out the transfigured testicles and held them up with a grin. “Here they are George!” he exclaimed as fake blood dripped off of them.

“No! Gods no!” Ron shrieked looking at his testicles dangling from his older brother hands. “No!”

“What the bloody hell is going on out here!” Molly Weasley exclaimed looking at the her son’s. She saw the blood on her son’s lower region and what looked like bloody testicles in Fred’s hand and shrieked.

“They cut my balls off, Mum!” Ron screamed to his mother.

Fred and George looked at their mother and then at each other, dropped the fake balls, and ran.


Harry, Seamus, Draco, Blaise and Percy had watched the prank all rolling with laughter. They had been so busy laughing that they hadn’t noticed Mrs. Weasley walk by until they heard her scream. They watched in horror as she screamed and dropped down beside Ron, who was still stunned, and shriek at Fred and George, who dropped the transfigured apples and ran. They turned as one and saw her eyes focus in on them and they also turned and ran, but not before she whipped out her wand and pointed it at all of them, effectively stunning them to their spots.
She forgot Ron for a moment and ragged at them. “How could you allow this to happen? How could you watch them mutilate Ron like that?” she screamed. “Harry Potter! You’re supposed to be his best friend! How could you stand by and watch this?” she said waving her wand again. “And Percy! You are his brother! How could you stand there and do nothing!” she screamed. “Blaise Zabini! You want to marry into my family? You would allow this to happen to Ginny’s brother? Your are the son of the Minister of Magic! Shouldn’t you be setting a good example?” she sobbed. She turned back to her youngest son and flicked her wand at the group. “Quickly get your father, Percy,” she said. She flicked her wand again and removed the stunning spell from Ron. “Oh, Ronnie! We’ll get you to St. Mungos! Maybe they can reattach them!” she cried as she picked up the discarded transfigured apples.

Ron watched in pain and horror as his mother picked up his testicles. He was torn between pain and indignation that his mother would even handle them. “Mum,” he croaked.

“Hush, Ron, your father will be here soon,” she cried pulling him close to her.

Percy was horrified. He ran for his father because his mother commanded it, but he didn’t know what to say. He knew that they were all dead now. The second the prank was found out his mother would hex his balls off, and it would be for real this time. He found his father sitting with Mr. Lovegood drinking a shot of firewhiskey. He ran up to him and grabbed the bottle from between them and poured a long swallow down his throat. “We’re dead, Dad,” he said taking another gulp of the fiery brew.

“What’s wrong, Percy?” Arthur demanded. Percy never drank. He watched his son take another huge swig and pulled the bottle from his mouth. “What is going on?” he demanded.

“Fred and George pulled a prank on Ron and Mum caught them. She saw all of us watching and thinks we allowed it. She doesn’t realize it’s a prank!” he cried reaching for the bottle.

Arthur let his son have one more swig and pulled it away again. “what did they do?” he demanded. “Where are they?”

“They pretended to cut off his bits,” he said in horror. “They used fake blood and transfigured apples. Mum even picked them up!” he said needing more alcohol. “She doesn’t know that it’s not real.”

“Gods!” Arthur said taking his own swig of whiskey. “Where are they?”

“In the garden.”

“Come on,” he said standing up.

“I’ll wait here,” he said again reaching for the bottle.

“Not a chance,” Arthur said pulling his son out of the tent by the collar on his dress robes.


Luna had heard the screams and commotion from outside but ignored it. She was feeding her new daughter and enjoying the private moment alone with her. The Weasley house was always loud and she knew that whatever was going on would work out in the end.

“Hello, dear,” Gretchen said as she sat down next to her granddaughters new step-mother. “It was a beautiful ceremony.” She had been enthralled with the traditions of a magical wedding.

“Yes, it was wasn’t it?” Luna said with a smile. “It was my dream come true,” she said as she kissed Natalie’s little fingers.

“How’s our little princess doing?”

“She is beautiful,” she smiled. “I shall love her forever,” she vowed.

Gretchen felt a ping of regret go through her as she felt the truth behind the young girl’s words. She felt regret that her own daughter had abandoned this beautiful baby and now this beautiful baby was going to be raised by another woman. In her heart she knew that it was the best thing, but she still felt regret. “Luna, I know that Natalie will always be loved with you as her mother,” she whispered, taking the young witches hand in hers. “I thank you for that.”

“I know that she has another mother somewhere who couldn’t be here for her, but I promise that I always will. I will keep her safe and protected and make sure that she always has a mother when she needs one.”

“I wish that my daughter could have been more like you,” Gretchen said with a sigh.

“If she had been, then Natalie wouldn’t be here now. George would never have met your daughter and Natalie would never have been conceived. I can’t wish for that, because I am selfishly already in love with both her and her father, and I couldn’t give either one of them away.”

“Love is often selfish, my dear.”

“Would you like to take her? I think that I will go find George,” Luna said handing the precious bundle over to her grandmother. “I think he has gotten himself into trouble again.”
Gretchen laughed. “He and his twin are quite the pranksters.”

“Yes they are.” She walked into the kitchen and quietly washed the baby formula from her hands and then dried them on the towel that sat on the table. She reached down for a cookie that was cooling on a rack and took a bite. She smiled as the rich taste of chocolate burst into her mouth and headed for the door. It burst open as she was about to turn the knob.

“Luna!”

“George!” they stated at the same time.

“I was just coming to find you,” she smiled at her new husband.

“Quick, we have to go now!”

“Alright,” she said reaching for his hand. “Are you in trouble?”

Just then they both heard Molly scream, “Fred and George Weasley! I will find you!”

George looked down at his wife and nodded. “Big trouble!”

“Then we had better tell our daughter goodbye and leave,” she said. “Gretchen has her in the living room.”

The shouts were getting closer to the house. “No time for that! Let’s go!” George wrapped his arms around Luna and apparated her to Diagon Alley, where they were to spend the first night of their honeymoon.