Never A Memory

a/n: I wish I could've gotten this out sooner! Had a crazy weekend and another one to follow and to prepare for! I will try my hardest to get these updates out to you guys! Thanx for your unwavering *crosses fingers* patience!



Enjoy.









~The Risking Whispers~



“It’s a crime…

…You let it happen to me…

…Never mind…

…I let it happen to you…

…I don’t mind…

…There’s nothing left to lose…

…Except my mind…and all the things I wanted…

…How can I believe…?

…When this cloud hangs over me…

…You’re the part of me that I don’t want to see…

…Forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it…

…Just fade away…

…Please let me stay…

…Caught in your way…

…I can live forever here…” ~Forget It, Breaking Benjamin.



The next morning…

~*~



As dawn light crept through the branches of the old oak tree outside the bedroom window, Harry fought to stay asleep, a defensive instinct telling him that it would be better to keep his eyes closed and not open them to the image of Draco Malfoy sleeping serenely beside him. However, because perhaps masochism was indeed a common Gryffindor trait, Harry opened his eyes and automatically focused on Draco’s peaceful face.



Harry swallowed against the swell of frustration that tightened in his throat, the more common battle in his mind about how he should feel about his old school nemesis and what he thought he was actually beginning to feel raging with a vengeance. While Harry was almost certain Draco Malfoy would always be the annoying, snobby prick he always took him for at Hogwarts, Harry was beginning to grow accustomed and actually almost endear those traits of the Malfoy heir’s that used to make his blood boil and want to punch Draco in his delicate, sneering face until his knuckles were raw. The things that had made Draco seem utterly despicable and justified Harry and his friends’ loathing of the Slytherin Prince seemed more and more untrue. Well, perhaps not untrue, but simply left to skewed perception. Simply put: Draco Malfoy wasn’t as horrid as Harry had once thought.



And now Harry was sleeping next to him, protecting the Malfoy heir in every way Harry had ever protected a person, and was left wondering why it didn’t feel as wrong as it should.



Draco was on his side, curled towards Harry, his hand resting in the space between them and, while they weren’t touching, it seemed intimate to Harry, as if it were the most comfortable and natural thing to wake up in bed with this man, facing him, and watching the heave and fall of his chest as Draco slept.



Harry gazed on as Draco shifted slightly and a lock of shining white hair fell across his proud yet delicate cheek; and Harry considered, for the thousandth time, actually taking Draco as a lover.



Of course, ethically, it was a terrible option to consider, and morally, worse; however, again, it felt too natural for Harry to ignore. Objectively, Harry understood that the ever-present challenge between them was a part of why he knew taking Draco as a lover would, in the very least, be interesting by default. Also, Harry was beginning to realize that Draco’s unforgiving faith in Harry being a human and not some god of a wizard was something Harry craved, as well as the cruel honesty and their snarky exchanges. And, of course, there was the simple fact that Draco Malfoy encompassed a sexiness that was deep and dangerous and proud. Harry rarely termed men as beautiful, but if he had to, Draco Malfoy would be on the list, as near to the top as expected. It was impossible to fight his automatic reaction to those sharp, laughing gray eyes and those thin, cruel, knowing smiles.



And, then, there was the magic between them. It was a raw energy that seemed to have an intention of its own, drawing them together and connecting them without permission. Magic was something that had always awed Harry; however, he had learned to control it at Hogwarts and use it at his will. This crackling, spiking, ancient magic between them seemed to ebb and flow with its own volition and controlling it only seemed to happen when Harry was completely out of control and working on pure instinct, as he did the night Draco slit his wrist.



Not understanding this thing between them frightened Harry to no end, more so, perhaps, than the growing attraction to the pale, snobby Slytherin Prince he had practiced loathing for years.



Yet, the more Harry fought it, the more surrendering to it seemed opportune; even if Harry knew Draco Malfoy was playing his own game.



The game…Harry wasn’t exactly sure what it detailed, but he did recognize the excitement in Draco’s eyes when they blazed with rebellion against his heritage. Harry was certain that Draco Malfoy lived and breathed with the sole purpose to aggravate *someone*, and, at the time being, Draco’s vendetta still seemed to be centered around the lies he had to swallow and become for his heritage and the people and circumstances that led up to his mother’s death. Harry knew that Draco liked the idea of taking the Boy-Who-Lived as a lover because what better way to piss off purebloods and Deatheaters alike in one go? Whatever else Draco had in his head, Harry couldn’t fathom. There was still so much of Draco Malfoy that was still a mystery to Harry.



Harry reached and pushed the lock that whispered against Draco’s check gently to the side and froze when a pair of clear, gray eyes fluttered open and stared back at him, his fingers still hovering above Draco’s cheek.



Draco’s eyes were alert and unwavering as they stared at one another and Harry finally withdrew his hand. Draco’s eyes moved with the motion of Harry’s hand but he remained still, assessing and Harry became nervous.



“Malfoy?” Harry whispered, wondering if this was like the night before when he found Draco staring out the window.



Draco raised a brow. “Yes?”



Feeling foolish, Harry shook his head and made to stand up, unnerved by the intensity of those sharp, gray eyes. Draco reached out and pulled him back down, his mouth curling into a bemused smile.



“It’s early yet,” Draco murmured, the boldness in his eyes becoming more pronounced. “I was just thinking about how you were awake and still here. That’s all.”



Harry didn’t respond, peering across the space between them cautiously as he pulled the pillow under his head again.



Draco’s smile became wider and a flash of perfectly white teeth added to the insufferable charm of his curving mouth, and Harry, watching, knew those teeth were just as sharp as they looked.



“Good morning, Harry,” Draco said and held back a laugh when Harry blinked at the use of his first name.



“Not ‘Potter’ today, is it?”



Draco’s smile became even wider and Harry’s blood began to burn in his veins. “Well, I should think it would be a bit strange now that we’re sleeping together.”



Harry glanced away, that knowing smile sending thoughts echoing madly through his brain.



“Oh, come now, Harry,” Draco murmured facetiously. “Shyness really doesn’t become you.”



Harry looked back at Draco, his green eyes burning holes into the Malfoy heir and his smile faltered and nearly slipped. “You really think we’re so close, Malfoy? Some things are simply physical.” The cruelty in Harry’s voice made Draco flinch but his smile gathered strength.



“True,” Draco whispered. “Some things do have to be earned, I suppose.”



Draco reached and grabbed a handful of Harry’s shirt, pulling him closer. Draco bent his head and pressed a long, feather-light kiss to Harry’s lips before pulling away. Harry leaned in automatically when Draco pulled away and this time Draco did laugh, knowing all too well the effect he was beginning to have on Harry Potter. Scowling, Harry rolled on top of Draco, pressing his leg in between Draco’s, and placing his hands on either side of Draco’s head. Glaring down at Draco and seeing his triumphant expression, Harry realized that he had very much waltzed right into Draco’s trap.



“For Merlin’s sake,” Harry growled. “You have to stop teasing me, Malfoy.”



“Then give me what I want,” Draco replied, his tone not entirely unkind.



“You’re insatiable,” Harry muttered, relaxing his stance and pressing his forehead into Draco’s shoulder. “And I don’t know what you want.”



Whether it was from pity or compassion, the energy around Draco shifted and he wrapped his arms around Harry, who fell against him instantly, and held him, running a hand soothingly in circles on Harry’s back. Finally, Harry surrendered to the comfort and reprieve from their constant mind game Draco had offered Harry and nearly swooned at the relief he felt when he realized he didn’t have to fight in this moment. Inexplicably, Harry’s mind quieted and he relaxed into Draco’s embrace.



“Potter?”



Harry looked up, his eyes tired and defenseless.



Draco dipped his head and pressed his lips against Harry’s, this kiss entirely different. It was…almost sweet; but, then, Malfoy’s are never sweet. Harry kissed back, allowing Draco’s tongue into his mouth and his fingers in his hair. The kiss was slow and searching, their fingers touching every part of one another they could find with their eyes closed, until finally, their fingers locked and they set to memorize the others’ hands. Harry didn’t realize the kiss had ended, so mesmerized was he by the simple, feather-light touches, until Draco hands moved away and cupped Harry’s face.



Harry opened his eyes and looked deep into Draco’s, finding a vulnerable uncertainty there that was like a rare, precious gem.



“I’m ready to answer your questions,” Draco whispered, his voice wavering slightly. “But I cannot promise you that you will like them all or if they will even really help.”



A thousand sarcastic replies flickered through Harry’s mind but every one of them died on Harry’s lips as he realized Draco was quite serious and, more importantly, afraid of Harry’s judgment. Harry nodded and tried to think of all the unanswered questions Harry had had since before he took Draco’s case, none of them forthcoming.



“My mind just went blank,” Harry whispered with an apologetic smile.



Draco traced the line of Harry’s jaw and the curve of his neck with an index finger. “Take your time,” he answered.



Harry closed his eyes, trying not to focus too much on Draco’s touch and how it left a trail of fire burning on his skin, but not have the desire to ask him to stop. When Harry finally opened his eyes, he had his first question.



“How did you know about the Horcruxes and that my scar was the final one?”



Draco brought his hand up and gently pushed the messy jet-black locks away from Harry's forehead before thoughtfully running the tips of his fingers over the skin that used to bare the lightening bolt scar.



“You, actually,” Draco began. “I overheard you speaking with Granger and Weasley about Horcruxes in sixth year. I did not begin my research on them until after the Dark Lord remarked me and did not realize your scar was the last until I found Regulus Black’s journal in the Malfoy Library and read it through some time after my exile.”



Harry frowned. “Regulus Black’s journal?”



Draco nodded, taking special care to trace the lobe of Harry’s ear before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the sensitive spot behind it. “Black spoke of a pendant Horcrux that shattered the night Voldemort killed your parents. He remade the necklace and stored it in the prepared spot—some cave somewhere…I can’t remember—and he etched his initials into it so that the finder would know it wasn’t real. Then he put the shattered necklace back together and hid it among the Black Fortune, sealing it so it could be opened from the outside. I believe you found it here, yes?”



“Molly did,” Harry answered. “Ron’s mother. So you knew the necklace’s Horcrux was transferred some where the night my parents died because of the journal and that the scar was the new one because…?”



“Because you were alive,” Draco said simply, tracing the lower curve of Harry’s mouth while he waited for Harry’s next question.



“The Time-Turner,” Harry said.



“What about it?”



“How did you find it?” Harry met Draco’s kiss instinctually before settling back to hear Draco’s answer.



“The Room of Requirement,” Draco said before placing another kiss against the hollow of Harry’s throat. “When I discovered the VCE Elixir, I knew I couldn’t complete it in time. I snuck into Hogwarts and the Room showed me what I would need to make the potion. I stole McGonagall’s Time-Turner, went to Asia, and the rest is history.” Draco began to spread his kisses lower, unbuttoning Harry’s shirt as he went.



Harry closed his eyes, trying to concentrate as his blood began to quicken with Draco’s ministries. “And your will? Why would you give Hermione the library?”



Draco glanced up, incredulous. “I had thought that would be obvious. To anger my relatives and, frankly, because Granger would put those dusty books to good use.”



“And giving Molly Weasley the Malfoy Manor?”



Draco paused and glanced away. “While it would be poetic justice to give the Manor to Blood Traitors simply for the pleasure of knowing how it would affect the Wizarding World to do so, it was mainly because the Weasley’s were the only Pureblood Family that managed to stay a true line without becoming…like me.”



Harry’s eyes softened. “What do you mean, like you?”



“Horrid, wretched, pompous…” Draco shrugged. “And don’t say I’m not. I can be whatever I choose; it is just easier for me to be those things. I am more used to being a Malfoy than otherwise.”



Harry did not answer but ran his fingers softly through Draco’s hair as he continued his small, teasing kisses along Harry’s chest, his mouth seeming to be everywhere at once. Harry thought hard about his next question, wanting to make sure it was worth causing Draco to stop to answer it.



“Why didn’t you tell Snape what you were doing or where you were going?” Harry nearly moaned when Draco lifted his head, the warmth that had spread along Harry skin growing cold with the absence of Draco’s mouth.



Draco chewed on the inside of his cheek, choosing his words carefully. “Because, after my mother died, Severus’ grief seemed heavier than mine. I couldn’t bare it. I had let everyone down and, Merlin save me, I was going to make it right again. And I had to do it on my own.”



When Draco finally met Harry’s gaze, an understanding seemed to leap into the energy between them. That, Harry could relate to. He understood, he really did. And, in that moment, Draco knew he did too.



Harry sat up and initiated a kiss that rivaled any they had shared to date. It wasn’t violent, but it was passionate; it wasn’t sweet, but it was tender, and when Harry pulled back slightly to understand the wetness he felt on Draco’s cheek, he saw the tears streaming silently down Draco’s proud face and tried to catch them as they fell, kissing them away. Then, their kisses were slower, saltier, and more deliberate as they tried to seal the new understanding between them.



A half an hour later, Slightly appeared and took their breakfast order, leaving her master and Harry Potter with a happy smile stretching her face. She, too, noticed the calmer energy between them and the frictionless silence. Today was going to be a good day.



~*~



a/n:



Zypher: Thanx for the catch, babe!



Thrnbrooke: You'll see. Thanx for your review!



Graballz: You goof, lol. I think it is probably a good thing I took a smidge of a break because I was thinking about dragging out the resistance a little bit longer; but I like the jump better. There is so much to do with their relationship and I wouldn't have time if i kept stretching out the 'hard to get' nonsense. Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for your review!



HellishMind: "I just love it that Harry plays so hard to get, but really he's just dying for it." Perfect. Thanx for your review and I hope you enjoyed!



Jien: Thank you!



Jan: *wags finger* You'll just have to wait and see! Thanx for your review!



kittycat30: Thank you!



Yanic: Thank you very much! I hope you enjoyed the review!



Obsidian Phoenix: Sinister is a great word! Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoyed the update!



Tia: Thank you! Really? Why? Either way, thanx again and I hope you enjoyed the update!



Lihrah: Thank you! I couldn't bring myself to write an HP fic without that line in there somewhere, lol. I hope you enjoyed the update!



GlamxReaper: Thank you! Hope you enjoyed!