Broken Smile

Broken Smile

Hermione opened the backdoor and walked along the narrow path until she reached the uneven shed. She could hear lots of cluttering going on inside. As Hermione opened the creaky door, she wasn’t surprised that her father-in-law didn’t hear her enter.

Hermione watched him for a moment; he was busy trying to put an old radio back together. She smiled at the man she considered her father; his interest in Muggle things always made her smile.

“So, this is where you’re hiding.”

“Hermione!” Arthur almost yelled; he embraced her in a big hug and kissed her cheek.

“Mum said you were out here, so I thought I would come and hide with you,” she told him.

Arthur grinned and pulled out a chair for Hermione to sit on. The whole family and some close friends had been invited to the Burrow for Percy and his fiancée’s engagement party. The party was also for Hermione; her book about ‘Alfie the Dragon’ was being published in Muggle bookstores.

The whole clan was expected to show. Bill has been married for over two years to a lovely woman named Philomena. They have a little girl Amy and boy David. Fred had married, but it only lasted a year; their married broke up when Fred realized marriage meant commitment. George on the other hand has been happily married for five years. His wife Jenny was currently pregnant with their third child; they have two boys, Luke and Johnny. Ginny had been engaged twice, much to Molly’s annoyance.

Titan had celebrated his fifteenth birthday last weekend. Ron would be starting Hogwarts on September first and the newest member to the family, baby Arthur, was only three and quite a handful. Hermione gave birth to him on a cold December night, but that wasn’t odd in the slightest. Titan was home for Christmas holidays; he had been home for a week when he woke up from one of his dreams.

* * * * *
Titan opened his mother’s bedroom door and peered in to see only Charlie lying beneath the covers. He shut the door over and made his way downstairs. His Mother sat on the sofa with a lager picture album on her lap. She looked up at her eldest son and smiled.

“What are you doing up?” she asked him.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he replied with his eyebrow raised. “You should be resting.”

Titan had become more protective over his mother when he found out she was pregnant. He wrote to her from Hogwarts twice a week, rather than his usual once a month.

“You sound like your Dad,” Hermione told him with amusement in her eyes.

“I don’t sound like Charlie,” Titan said making a face about the comment; “you need as much rest as you can get in your condition.” His mother held back a chuckle at the stern tone of voice he used with her.

“Come sit with me,” Hermione beckoned him.

She pulled back the blanket from around her legs so he could join her. Titan sat down next to his mother, he made sure the blanket was more over her then himself. Titan couldn’t help but feel concerned for her. He knew pregnancy brings a lot of joy to a woman, but it also brings a lot of stress and even more pain at the end.

“So, reminiscing are we?” Titan asked, looking at the picture album in his mother’s lap.

“Don’t poke fun at me. Pregnant women can be very emotional…what if I start crying all over you?” Hermione teased, while placing a kiss on his cheek.

Titan smiled and shook his head. At twelve he was already a head and neck taller than her. He turned to the next page of pictures and couldn’t hold back a laugh. Hermione gave him a light tap to the back of his head.

He gazed down at a page of pictures of his mother from when she was a small child; her hair was bushier then ever.

Over the years Hermione had cut her hair to her shoulders and it sat nicely around her face. Although the bushiness had calmed somewhat, the fullness of her hair still remained.

“Be nice or next time one of your friends comes over, I’ll get out your bath-time pictures,” his mother teased.

“And they say I’m a true Slytherin,” Titan replied.

“Gryffindors have been known to play a little dirty, too,” she informed him.

When Hermione came to pages of pictures of her mum and dad, she tensed up. Titan could see the hurt in her eyes. The hurt didn’t fade when she saw pictures of Harry, Ron, and herself. Titan wanted to say something to comfort his mother, but he wasn\'t sure what words would fill such holes. He was never told of the story in detail; he never had the heart to make her tell him. All he knew was Harry and Ron died in the war and his grandparents were killed by Death Eaters.

Hermione adjusted the cushion behind her back and tried to get comfortable.
She tried to turn the page but Titan held her hand. Hermione looked up into her son’s gray eyes; she could see he knew the other reason she was up so late.

“I’ll wake Charlie and then send an owl to Nana,” Titan said in a man-like voice.

“I have hours yet; I don’t want Mum and Margaret fussing over me just yet,” Hermione told him, amused by his protectiveness again.

“Okay, we’ll leave it for a little while longer…” He enjoyed taking care of his mother for a change. “…So what do you plan to call this one? I thought maybe Soul.”

“I’m not going to call my child Soul…besides, what if I have a girl?” Hermione asked him.

Titan only laughed at her. “Trust me Ma—you’re going to have another boy.” He said it with such confidence.

“And how do you know that?”

“I had one of my dreams…” Titan answered.

“I used to have those dreams when I was pregnant with you…but they stopped after you were born,” Hermione told him.

A smug look came to Titan’s face. “I guess I’m the one with the power of Divination.” Titan knew how much his mother hates that subject.

“Well, I won’t argue with you on that—Divination was never my thing.”

The night moved slowly. In the early hours of the morning Hermione lay in bed with Charlie on one side and Titan on the other holding her hand. Most of the family was over, all waiting downstairs. Little Ron kept popping his head in the room asking if ‘the baby was born yet.’

Hermione was worried that Titan was too young to have to witness childbirth, but he insisted on staying. When his mother cried out in pain he became scared; he wanted to take away her pain but knew he couldn’t. He held her hand with both of his and looked over at Charlie to see he was just as scared, even though this was the third time he had watched Hermione give birth.

When yet another Weasley boy came into the world, Titan was happy for two reasons. One, he had a new baby brother and two, his mother’s pain seemed to disappear at the sight of her little baby boy, Arthur Christopher Weasley.


* * * * * * *

Arthur pulled a chair in front of Hermione; in his eyes she was his daughter. He found himself closer to her then Ginny; he loved Ginny just as much, but he and Hermione seemed to have a bond.

“What’s wrong?”

Hermione smiled at him. “Can you read me that well?” she asked.

“Your mother can read all of you so well; you’re the only one who’s an open book to me,” Arthur told her. “Are you pregnant again?”

“Are trying to tell me I’m looking a little fat?” Hermione asked with amusement in her eyes.

“I walked right into that one—okay so you’re not pregnant…Do I have to guess or are you going to tell me?” Arthur inquired.

A short silence went by; Hermione bit her lip. “It’s Titan; he’s been asking even more questions about…”

“His father? What did you tell him?” Arthur broke in; he could see her emotions grow high as he spoke.

“Not much…I was always scared someone would say something to him at school but they haven’t…” Hermione had a helpless look in her eyes.

“Are you thinking of telling him what happened?” Arthur asked while taking hold of her hand.

“Maybe—he’s getting older and he’s starting to put the pieces together…” Hermione confessed. She looked into Arthur’s eyes, feeling like a little girl, wanting her Daddy to make it all better.

“What do you mean by pieces?” Arthur inquired.

Hermione looked down at their hands; she couldn’t look him in his eyes. Arthur stroked her hand and using his other hand to raise her chin, so he could see her eyes.

“You’ve always felt ashamed of what happen to you; you have nothing to be ashamed of—it wasn’t your fault,” Arthur told her firmly.

Hermione tried to avert her eyes from his. She knew it wasn’t her fault but at the same time she felt ashamed even after all these years. Arthur didn’t let go of her chin; he made her look at him.

“It wasn’t your fault” he repeated.

“I know,” Hermione replied in a whisper, holding back tears.

Arthur kissed her nose and held onto her hand. “So, what’s going on with Titan?”

Hermione took a deep breath and then began. “He…he asked me why things didn’t work out between his…father and I—why I won’t talk about him…” Hermione broke off. She hadn’t told Charlie what happened because she didn’t want him to get upset.

“What did you tell him?” Arthur asked gently.

“What could I say? I told him that it was a long time ago and things just didn’t work out…he knew I was trying to get off the subject, so he called me on it.”

Arthur remained silent, waiting for her to continue. “Titan asked me if I was ashamed…ashamed of the age difference…I just looked at him and felt numb…” A few tears slipped down Hermione’s cheeks.

Arthur wiped them away with his free hand and began to speak in a gentle voice. “Sweetheart, Titan’s fifteen—it’s important for a boy to know his father—for any child to know.”

“I know; I used to think Charlie and Draco would be enough…but they’re not. I’m not sure I can tell him the truth—he’s still very much a child…but if I don’t he’s going to resent me even more.” Her last words came out in a sob.

Arthur gathered Hermione in his arms. “Sshh…he doesn’t resent you…Titan’s confused—fifteen’s a tough age,” he said, trying to ease her pain. “You are a wonderful mother, wife, and daughter…you’ve been through some tough times, but still managed to be all those things.”

Hermione kept her eyes closed against Arthur’s chest. She felt safe, almost as safe as she felt in Charlie’s arms. Hermione had been planning to talk to Charlie about what Titan had been saying to her lately, but he had been working so hard and he would have punished Titan for the way he spoke to her. She didn’t want Charlie and Titan auguring. Sometime Titan would say the meanest things to his stepfather; the hurt from his words hung in Charlie’s eyes for all to see.

Arthur drew Hermione back so he could look into her eyes. “Tell Titan what you must—until you think he’s ready to hear the truth. When he is ready, you will find the strength to tell him…I know you will.”

* * * * * * * * * *
September first was upon them. Hermione held little Arthur in her arms while Charlie helped the boys with the luggage onto the train. She gazed at the Hogwarts Express; she could almost see Harry and Ron standing there waiting for her.

When Hermione was at school she use think about what it would be like when they where older and had their own children. She never told Harry and Ron about her daydream, for they were boys and would have thought she was ‘mad.’

“Hermione!”

Hermione turn around to see who called her. An older Dean Thomas came towards her.

“Dean.”

He gave her a warm hug and held her at arm’s length so he could look at her. Little Arthur was still on his mother’s hip hiding his face against the side of her neck.

“You look great and who’s this?” Dean asked looking at the little red-headed boy.

“This is Arthur,” Hermione replied, while trying to peel Arthur away from her neck. “He’s three, Ron’s eleven, and Titan’s fifteen,” she continued.

“Well, Maggie’s eleven and Alex is five,” Dean looked over to where his family stood. Hermione saw a pretty woman with long black hair crouching in front of a girl with the same hair, and a little boy by her side.

“Where’s Charlie?”

“Helping the boys put the luggage on the train and the reason it’s taking so long is he’s probably stopped for a game of chess with one of the kids,” Hermione said with a smile.

“You know what us men are like,” Dean said, amused.

“Yes, I do,” Hermione replied with another smile. “It feels like a million years ago, doesn’t it?” She indicated the Hogwarts Express.

“Speak for yourself!” Dean shot back with a grin. “It wasn’t that long ago.”

Hermione smiled at him. She remembered the good times as if they had happened only yesterday. Ron and herself arguing over silly things; poor Harry being stuck in the middle. The memory of the first ride to Hogwarts made a smile touch her lips.

Dean wished her ‘all the best’ and went to say good-bye to his daughter. Charlie, Ron, and Titan stepped off the train. Hermione could see the excitement in Ron’s eyes; she was happy and sad all at the same time. Today was a big adventure for him, but at the same time she was loosing another little boy.

Hermione handed Arthur to Charlie while she crouched down in front of Ron. She fixed his shirt collar and fussed over him.

“Remember to change into your uniform before you get there…don’t forget to write…work hard, but have fun, too,” Hermione told him, holding back tears.

“I promise to write every week, okay?” Ron told his mother.

Hermione gave him a bear hug and kissed his chubby cheeks. “I love you,” she whispered before pulling back.

“I love you, too.”

Titan was rolling his eyes at the display; he was leaning lazily against the train. Ron hugged his father, then Arthur, and then his mother again. Hermione looked over at Titan; her eyes told him she feared he wouldn’t hug her good bye. Over the summer they had been auguring. Titan knew he had started most of the augments, but he felt he had the right to know about his father.

“Why don’t you help Ron find a seat?” Hermione said to Charlie, though her eyes stayed on Titan. Charlie kissed the side of his wife’s head and stepped onto the train with his two youngest boys.

“Well, see you a Christmas, Ma,” Titan said in a cold—no, a hurt tone.

“Titan,” Hermione said in almost whisper.

“Why can’t you just let me be mad? Why do you have to make me feel guilty?” Titan bit out with his back to his mother.

“That’s not my intention to make you feel guilty…you just…”

“Don’t understand…I’ll never understand until you explain what happened.” Titan was now facing his mother, his gray eyes softening somewhat.

After a pause, Hermione spoke in a shaky voice. “Someday you’ll understand…and I dread that day—I really do.”

Titan looked at his mother for a long moment and then asked in harsh tone. “Do you regret having me?”

Tears that had been hiding behind Hermione eyes began to fall. She was glad to be at the end of the train where fewer people were about.

Hermione looked into her son’s eyes. “I have never regretted having you…There was a time I didn’t think I could go on…You and Charlie saved me.”

“Is that why you didn’t love my father—because of Charlie?”

Hermione wasn’t sure how she was able to stand; she held his gaze and told him the truth. “I never loved your father.” The words hung in the air around them. Hermione wanted so very much to hold Titan, but she couldn’t move.

Charlie stepped off the train with Arthur in his arms. He looked from Hermione’s tearful face to Titan’s unreadable expression. Titan gave his little brother a hug and then turned to board the train.

“Titan!” Hermione called.

Titan didn’t turn around; he rested one foot on the step of the train. He hated her right now; he didn’t understand, because of the lack of information she had given him. Titan felt his request to know about his father was not too much to ask.

“Titan…I love you…”

“I know,” was all he said before closing the compartment door.

* * * * * * *
Big thanks to Jamie.

Juri-Titan was fun to write for in that last chapter. Thanks.

Anon- No one seems to like Titan; I’m hoping to do something about that. Thanks

Annalumos- Charlie and Draco will never see eye to eye; but they both love Hermione. Thanks.

Thanks for reviewing again; I like to know what you all think. Sorry about the wait; I’ll try to be quicker.