Le Frère de Sang

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GENERAL DISCLAIMER - I do not own any of the characters used.

NOTES ON THE CHAPTER - This chapter…well it doesn’t have anything special in it but it is a chapter that shows you the new direction the story is going in. There isn’t much romance though you do see all three of my favourite characters together. It is slightly angst and as we all know I’m not good with arguments.

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“AAHH!” I screamed throwing myself out of bed, fear and rage and hate burning through me. My knees cracked as they hit the floor and I cried out in pain. The covers wrapped around me just like the gripping hands in my dream had. Logically I knew they were only sheets but in my panic I could imagine them as hands. I kicked, screamed and struggled. They released me and I scrambled back fast until I hit something hard and unmoving. I groaned at the pain in my shoulder from where I’d crashed into whatever it was. I looked behind me, the wardrobe.

“Merlin…” I breathed pressing a hand to my chest. My heart was beating madly, my breathing fast. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Calm, got to be calm. My heart didn’t slow. I held my breath trying to regulate my breath. I couldn’t hold it for long and released it taking in another breath quickly and holding that too. Slowly my heart rate came down.

I blinked, looking around the room. The ceiling still showed the moon, stars twinkling brightly in the cloudless sky. It was night time. It had all been a dream. Yet another bad dream. Merlin…

It had been four days since Anita was kidnapped and every night since I had relived the night Julianna had been killed and the God fearing men of town who upheld God’s teachings had poured Holy Water over Asher. I relived the night as Asher and I felt the pain he felt as if it was my own. I felt his emotions like they were my own. It was horrible. And it all happened because of those careless, hurtful, heartless words that man had said. Merlin, I wish I had cursed him more, caused him pain. He had hurt Asher. I hadn’t seen the other half of Asher’s face since before the incident. He’d come over since then and seen me, hell we had a groping session too and he still didn’t show me his face, flinching back whenever I went to do it for him.

I pushed myself off the floor and moved back into bed. I had school tomorrow and I needed my sleep. Sleepless nights, nightmares and worry had really effected my class work. I had already been given one detention for not paying attention and been given two reprimands already. I pulled the covers around me and tried to think of nice things, good thoughts, happy times. I found one and concentrated trying to push myself into that specific memory. It wouldn’t work but I’d try anyway. I drifted off slowly, the world becoming distant like I was falling into water…water streaming down my face and I could barely hold the scream as it burned my eyes, my skin.

I bolted upright again. Gods! I slammed my hands down on the bed in frustration. Damn it all. I summoned my wand and cast the tempus charm. It was two in the morning. I needed at least five hours more sleep. I lay back down and tried to summon nice thoughts but every time I closed my eyes I saw the night Asher lost half of himself. How could I sleep with that? I couldn’t stand the nightmares and with school again the next day it wasn’t like I could stay up all night! But there was no way around it. It wasn’t like you could sleep without dreaming! I’d either fall asleep and have nightmares or stay up…or take a potion.

I leaped out of bed and dived out of the room hitting light switches as I went. I still had some dreamless sleep potion in the cupboard. I only had three more doses, three more lots of ten hours dreamless sleep or if I only took half the dose then I’d only get half the time sleeping. I could take half of it and sleep till seven everything would be fine. No more dreaming of Holy Water. I ripped open the cupboard and grabbed a vial of the potion. I took it back up to bed turning off the lights as I went.

I slipped beneath the covers and held the potion up against the moon so I could see how much was in the bottle. I wouldn’t be able to take exactly half because without measuring it properly I wouldn’t be able to do it but I could estimate. Never mind, I’d just be late to school or overly early. I uncorked the vial and tipped some of it back into my mouth swallowing immediately then slamming the cork back on the bottle and banishing the bottle to the bedside cabinet. No sooner had I done that did black creep up on my vision, immersing me in a peaceful sleep.

-

I groaned and rolled over. Damn it, I wanted to sleep some more. It was so nice. But something woke me up. I cursed several times and pushed my face out of my pillow. I had been lead on my stomach so I pushed myself up and back so I rested on my knees looking at the headboard. Hm…it was raining very lightly outside if the weather on the wall was anything to go by. I looked around, there. My alarm was going off. I clambered out of bed and stomped over to turn it off. From the sounds of it, the alarm had been going off for-

“BLOODY HELL!” I yelled and threw myself into the bathroom. It was half past nine. I was so late, so so so late for school! I threw myself into the shower and washed in record time cleaning my teeth and body at the same time. I dived out of the shower and pulled on the first clothes to hand, some jeans and a white t-shirt. I skipped breakfast just racing out the door and throwing a locking charm at the front door as I ran away from the house.

The day at school was normal enough after that. I’d seen the head mistress because I’d been so late but other than that it was okay. Well, as okay as the day can go when you can’t get your mind off of being tied up and tortured with blessed water. My notes were barely there, instead I’d scribbled pictures and words of hate about my torturers.

“Harry?” I jumped and looked up.

“Richard!” I gave him a smile then frowned. “What are you doing here?” I looked around and noticed most people were gone from the school court yard.

“School‘s over. I came to pick you up.” I frowned further.

“Why? You haven‘t picked me up since I fell asleep in class.” Richard nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. He began leading me towards the junior school.

“I know I haven‘t but your head mistress called me, she was worried and thought perhaps I could help you sort out whatever it is that‘s bugging you. Apparently you have been distracted in class and…well not all there.”

“Oh.” I said. Then I sighed. Typical the school would call Richard. Though in their defense they couldn’t exactly call my guardian because, while Jean-Claude unofficially claimed my guardianship he couldn’t be contacted during the day and, I had nobody else.

“So, what‘s the matter?”

“I…well…” I shook my head trying to clear it so I could talk and make sense. “Since Anita was kidnapped I‘ve been having bad dreams - nightmares. Every night I see a bunch of men pour Holy water over me, I‘m Asher, and then I see my reflection and the reaction off of others as they see what I look like and…and that‘s upsetting because I know Asher feels all of those things and remembers it often. It‘s all because of the leader, the guy who organised Anita‘s kidnapping. He said some horrible things to Asher before I could shut him up. Anyway, the nightmares wont leave me alone so this morning I took a dreamless sleep potion. I tried to take half of it so I‘d only sleep for five hours instead of the full ten hours but I guess I took too much and over slept.”

“I see.”

“It was because I had school that I risked taking the potion. I knew I probably wouldn‘t accurately take half of it but I needed sleep and I couldn‘t sleep with those dreams. It‘s the weekend day after tomorrow so I‘ll try to deal with everything then but I needed to get through the week and the potion ensured I would get through the day.”

“No, I understand what you mean. I don‘t know what I can recommend to help you deal with it though.” I sighed at Richards apologetic tone.

“I know. I don‘t think there is anything I can do yet, just deal with it. I mean if I tell Asher what I dream then he will retreat more and it will be in the forefront of his mind. I could tell Micah I suppose and we could try to be there for Asher but…I don‘t know. Hell, it‘s Haloween on Saturday, that‘s going to be hell I‘m sure. Asher is going to see people dressed up as monsters and it‘s going to bring him really bad thoughts.”

“Well, all you can really do is be there and try to remind him that you don‘t think he‘s a monster. I…I really don‘t know what other advice to give you.” I patted Richards hand and gave him a smile.

“It‘s okay, it‘s enough that you tried to help. I know you aren‘t comfortable talking about Asher but it means a lot that you‘d try and it means a lot that you came to see whether I was okay.” I paused and stopped walking. “You aren‘t going to tell Jean-Claude about this are you?”

“God no.” Richard laughed and we began walking again. “The only reason I told Jean-Claude last time was because he is your guardian. This time he doesn‘t need to be told.”

Good. I continued walking with Richard happy in his company.

-

I glanced over at Micah again and he returned my look. We were at the club and several of the customers below were wearing masks of ugly green creatures. At one point, as we’d walked through the club, someone had stumbled completely drunbk up to Asher, complimented Asher on his mask then stumbled off again. I could feel Asher’s hurt, it was almost palpable in the air. His hair was over his face and he’s walked and sat with his head down hiding himself almost completely from view.

I moved a little closer to him and slipped my hand into his giving it a slight squeeze. Asher glanced at me then turned away. I sighed again and gave his hand another squeeze. Just then Jason and Nathaniel came on stage. They were the whole reason we were there, to see them dance. They had been given a new number to dance to especially for Halloween. They were stunning to look at and attracted a large crowd. I turned back to Asher, he was watching them move on stage with an emotionless look on his face.

“Asher?” I muttered but he didn’t move, it was like he didn’t hear me or was ignoring me. I leaned my head against his shoulder, on the side of his body that was damaged by the Holy Water. I stroked his hand and slipped off the glove that shielded it from view. Immediately I felt Asher’s body stiffen and he clenched his fist so as to stop me from taking it off. I sighed again and slid my fingers underneath the glove to stroke his skin. Didn’t he know I loved him no matter what? Didn’t he know I didn’t care about the damage done to his skin? Why could he not love himself as much as I loved him.

“I love you.” I said stroking the skin some more. He stayed stiff so I pulled my fingers back. I went to take his hand again but he moved it away. I felt hurt and sadness well up again and my vision swam slightly as tears filled my eyes. I saw Micah watching from the other side of Asher. Tears dripped from my eyes. Micah reached out a hand and wiped them away, leaning over Asher to get to them. I sniffed slightly, emotion clogging up my throat and making my nose run.

I clasped my hands together then noticed something on my palm. I lifted my hand and looked over the faint scar I had from Blaise and my ritual to make us blood brothers. I smiled at it fondly. I stroked over it with one finger then clenched my teeth together. Violently I turned, reached over Asher and grabbed his unscarred hand. I cast a difindo that split the glove all over the seams and threw the glove away ignoring the startled gasps Asher and Micah gave and the warnings both of them voiced. Instead I shifted in my seat and forced Asher’s hand, using my magic, to trace along the scar from Blaise. I forced his finger to trace over the barely raised skin.

“I was marked by my brother out of love but it‘s still a mark on my skin. It isn‘t huge but it‘s there.” I turned my hand over and forced his fingers to trace over the raised skin on the back of my hand that read ‘I will not tell lies’. “One of my teachers forced me and several others to use a blood quill in detention. As we wrote on the paper the quill drew out blood and it was like we were scratching the words into our skin. It left a scar and I will always hate my teacher for forcing the pain on me for unjust reasons. She bullied the whole school, she told the world I was a mental nutcase and that I should be locked up. IT‘s because of her lies that hundreds of people died because she made them all believe that I lied about Voldemort‘s return.”

Finally I grabbed his hand and forced it to my forehead over my scar. I met his eyes and hissed at him angrily. “This one was given to me by Voldemort when I was young. This was all that remained of the night he murdered my parents and tried to murder me. He put a bit of himself into me when he gave me this scar and every time he was angry, happy or near me it split open and bled. The pain of this scar was not only from the tear itself but it effected all of me, I could feel all of him through this scar. I saw him murder because he gave me this scar. I saw him murder and torture and I felt him enjoy it. It was because of this scar that I had to risk my life every year at school. It was because of this scar that I was gawped at, stuttered over, spat at, hugged for, ignored, hit, cursed and nearly died. Physically it‘s a tiny thing but it holds so much meaning that it might as well be all over my body and I still have the mental scars to match all of the ones on my body. This scar doesn‘t make me hideous does it? My scars don‘t make me ugly do they?!” I demanded of him and Asher’s eyes flamed with emotion though which one I wouldn’t know.

“Of course not but they are so small…”

“So fucking what! You‘re scars are small to me Asher. They are so small I don‘t care about them. My scars make me who I am, it‘s because I had them, because I was given them, that I am here today. They helped make me who I am. Your scars do the same to you and I don‘t give a shit what you think about them because it is because you had them, because you lived through the hell of receiving them and the horror and shame that came with receiving them, that I fell in love with you. If you didn‘t have them you wouldn‘t be the man - sorry, the vampire I fell in love with. I love you, scars and all. But if you can‘t see that then why am I even here?! I love you but if you can‘t love yourself then there‘s no chance you can love me so I might as well leave.”

I pulled back and stood up moving a step from the table. I stared at Asher trying to put all my emotion in my face. I know I was crying, I could feel the tears stream down my face.

“You can‘t love me while you hate yourself Asher. I love you but it hurts so much to see you hate.”

“Don‘t go Harry.” Asher moved ready to get up. He looked at me his blue eyes staining red with tears. “I‘m sorry, I‘m so sorry. It‘s just…you don‘t know how I feel…”

“I know how you feel Asher, I‘ve seen the memories, hell I‘ve lived the memories, and I‘m an empath so believe me I know. There‘s no way I couldn‘t know how you feel Asher, I know everything you feel. It‘s you who doesn‘t know how I feel.” Twin tears fell from Asher’s eyes and he nodded slightly.

“Okay. I‘m sorry, just don‘t leave.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes, tears soaking my hands. I slid back onto the bench with Asher and he pushed his arms immediately around me as if I would disappear if he held me any less tightly. I was pulled onto his lap, my back to his chest. I leaned my head back against his shoulder and turned my head to kiss his jaw. It was the side of him that was unmarked, the side right next to Micah. He hadn’t listened to me or wasn’t taking in what I had said. I snatched his still gloved hand and tore the glove off him before he could stop me. His body tensed up again and he clenched his hand into a fist. I pulled it to my face, forcing his arm to allow the movement despite him trying to pull back.

“I want your touch Asher. I want to feel your skin on mine. All of your skin. Not just half of your skin, all of your skin. Don‘t deny me. I love you.” Asher’s hand unclenched and he let it rest against my skin but he was completely unmoving nearly all evening. He said nothing nd his body was stiff beneath me.

I looked over at Micah and reached out my other hand to him. I love Asher and wanted to comfort him but I needed Micah. Micah snatched my hand immediately and grasped it in his. He met my eyes and gave me a small smile trying to reassure me with just his eyes. I smiled ever so slightly back and gripped his hand before turning my head and kissing Asher’s hand. It was going to be a long evening.

-

School didn’t help my feeling of helplessness. Asher’s sadness and self loathing kept haunting me; I could see his face in my minds eye and feel his emotions through my body. It was like a phantom, the emotions. They were a memory but it was strong.

“Mr Black? Are you well?” I jerked my head up and saw the teacher looking at me worriedly. I’ve had so many problems at this school. The teachers have put up with a lot. I’ve had more off days in St Louis than I have ever had in my life.

“I‘m okay sir, just a little stressed.”

“I see well the rest of the class is reading at the moment and it would be in your best interests to do so too else you will be unable to pass your exams.”

“Yes sir, sorry.” I picked up the novel we were reading in class. It wasn’t a fantastic novel, in fact it was down right dull. It was about some woman, Eliza, who wanted to find herself a rich husband but she wasn’t a very pretty woman. Basically the story was about how she worked so hard to attract attention and…well I hadn’t actually reached the end yet, I was only six chapters in.

I started reading again, taking down the occasional quote and where it came from. Being able to take adequate notes was a god send, I should really give Hermione more credit for helping me succeed in life. I just finished writing down the last quote when what I’d read and written made a connection in my head. The woman in the story had used lots of make up to make her glamorous thus able to attract a husband. Those words stuck with me, on repeat like a broken record in my head. Make up to make her glamorous…make up to make her glamorous…to make her glamorous…glamorous…glamorous…glamours.

There was a spell called a glamour, it made others see what you wanted them to see. Girls at school used small ones to cover spots or blemishes. Could I use a glamour on Asher perhaps? I’d have to do some research of course, and I’m not sure what information on Glamours I have at the house, I might need to get some more but…but this could help. It could help so much!

“Mr Black, do we need to have words again? Or will you get on with the reading sensibly like everyone else?” I snapped my eyes up to the teacher in shock then grinned at him.

“Sorry about that sir, but the book might just have given me an answer to all my problems of late.” I offered and several of my class mates stopped reading to look at me. The teacher raised his eyebrow questioningly.

“And how exactly did it do that? I can‘t imagine you are liie Eliza looking for a husband.”

“It‘s not far off actually sir, but no I‘m not looking for a husband. It‘s hard to explain but the book has helped me come up with some solutions that I wouldn‘t have thought of on my own.” The teacher nodded and moved to the front of the class before perching slightly on the edge of the desk.

“Well then, do you see now class that books, fiction and non-fiction alike, can help with the every day problems we face. They can provide us ideas or even inspire us, Mr Black is a prime example of it. Now, perhaps, you will have a better respect for books?” The class murmered a grudging acceptance, though I could see some people roll their eyes obviously not agreeing but going along with the teacher anyway, if only to stop him going of into another rant.

I picked up my book again, my mood considerably improved now. All I had to do was wait out the lesson then it would be time to go home and I could rush my homework then start looking at the glamour spells. And if I couldn’t find anything tonight I’d keep working every night and then into the weekend to find an answer.

The school bell rang and as soon as it blared down the corridors I shoved everything into my bag barely listening to the teacher tell the class that he expected us to have read up to chapter 9 by the next lesson. I threw my bag over my shoulder, grabbed my jacket, and walked as quickly as I could out of the classroom. I bumped into a few people on the way and they shouted at me. I yelled back apologies and as soon as I was out of the building I broke into a run. I had to get home quickly.

People jumped out of my way as I ran through the courtyard and out the front gates. I jogged down the various streets that would take me back home. I could have darted into narrow lanes and apperated but you never know where security cameras are these days. I tore my bag from my back and rummaged around in it for my house keys, jamming them into the lock of my front door and slammed it open as soon as it unlocked. Snatching my keys from the lock I threw them to the floor, kicked the door shut and tossed my bag against the wall.

I took the stairs two at a time, the top set three at a time, and high tailed it into my bedroom summoning my Hogwarts trunk to me as I moved. It flew to me, enlarged and I yanked open the top of it before rummaging around for the books that should have mentions of glamour charms in.

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NOTES: I didn’t like this chapter much. It had to be here though and it had to be on its own unaccompanied. Anyway, you should all like the next chapter. It makes up for this chapter I promise, though when I planned it none of what happened was going to happen.


FURTHER NOTES: Sorry for the delay. Chapters 30 and 31 wouldn't write like they were planned. The intimacy in those chapters didn't happen, hell it wouldn't happen for a while, like I wanted it to. Still, it's done and that's that.

I'd also like to mention that I'm grateful for the reviews and comments. Someone mentioned, and I'm sorry I can't mention by name at this point, that HArry could be with an origional character. I toyed with the idea but then decided on a new plot point for us to reach - all to do with fidelity and being with HArry and only Harry. Thank you for sticking with this story and I'm going to get to work on chapter 32 immediately.