More Ways to Kill A Weasley

HEY, BUDDY! HAVE YOU SEEN MY KNEAZLE?







Standing in the shadows of the Great Hall, Severus Snape looked over the gathered crowd wearily.



Dumbledore had done it again.



Honestly, the man must think of himself as the Goodwill Ambassador of the Wizarding World! Apparently Hogwarts doesn’t provide him with a large enough sphere of influence. Leave it to Albus to feel the need to entertain the public at large.



Beside the normal dances and events for the students, so far this year Hogwarts had hosted a fireside pumpkin carving contest complete with marshmallow roast, a Muggle touch football tournament on something called Superbowl Sunday, an Easter egg hunt, and a rowing competition on the Black Lake.



Add that to the weekly tai chi, bingo, zumba, ballroom dancing, and quilt-in-a-day classes.



‘Okay, bingo hadn’t been too bad,’ he reflected; after all, he had walked away with a tidy sack of galleons when he won last week’s coverall.



But still, this was too much!



When the Headmaster had stood up at the last staff meeting and announced the latest idea he had dreamed up, the entire staff had moaned.



“Albus, really, we’re teachers not cruise directors!” sniffed Minerva McGonagall.



“My Inner Eye sees discord. I predict that nothing good will come of this,” breathed Sybill Trelawney in her misty voice.



Roland Hooch glared at Sybill for a moment before rolling her eyes and saying sarcastically, “As much as it pains me, I’m with Sybill on this one. Enough’s enough already!”



Standing on his chair, Filius Flitwick placed his hands on his hips and declared emphatically, “I stand with the rest of the staff on this Headmaster. We have our own work to do. I for one will not let my grading and testing suffer any longer. No more!” he cried, stamping a little foot for emphasis.



Dumbledore had looked uncertainly over his staff, all of whom looked back at him petulantly. His eyes finally came to rest on Severus Snape.



“Severus, we haven’t heard from you. What are you thinking, my boy,” he asked dejectedly.



The Potions Master sighed and drew himself up in his chair. “Headmaster, I believe Filius voiced the crux of our concerns,” he said silkily. “We each have a job and these ‘activities’ of yours aren’t a part of it. If you’re going to continue with these events, you need to find someone else to assist you other than us.”



Albus frowned for a moment and then his blue eyes suddenly began to twinkle brightly. “Severus,” he said cheerfully, “I do think you’re on to something!”



Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair before nervously glancing at the other teachers. What had he done?



“Headmaster, you don’t understand. I really don’t think it is Hogwarts’ place to be hosting these events,” said Severus, an edge of panic in his voice.



Albus gazed at his staff members who were all watching him while bobbing their heads anxiously in agreement with the Dark wizard. He sighed and rubbed his eyes as he gathered his thoughts. Finally he said sadly, “Don’t you see. Voldemort is gone, but his legacy remains. He has caused so much suffering for so many. People have lost family, friends, jobs, property, wealth, position. So many people are struggling to escape from the void that their lives have spiraled into. We must help them, my friends. Just for a little while. After all, isn’t life too short to not live it to the fullest?”



It was true. It was years since the Final Battle and the Wizarding World was still in a mess. The staff glanced at one another guiltily before reluctantly, one by one, nodding their agreement.



And so the arguments had ended.



In the days that followed, the staff was mildly relieved to find that Albus had run with Severus’ suggestion and had advertised for an Event Coordinator.



Everyone but Severus was happy to see who the Headmaster had finally hired to fill the position.



Standing in the Great Hall, Severus pinched his nose and fervently wished that he had taken a dose of Headache Relief potion before he left his quarters.



Dumbledore had gotten his way. Close to one hundred adults had registered for this fiasco… er, event.



Yes, Severus could understand that the war had left many walking wounded, but still, where in the nine circles of hell did the old coot come up with the idea of a scavenger hunt?!



Shaking his head, he contemplated that the day he had long dreaded had finally happened, Dumbledore had finally completely lost his marbles! ‘One would have thought that Sybill would have seen it coming,’ he thought sarcastically.



The Dark wizard’s black eyes raked over the crowd with growing dismay. He could see Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle talking together eagerly in one group. Further on a gaggle of undulating fiery redheads with a dark center - the affect reminding him of an eerily impressionistic-style painting of a tormented poppy - could only mean the Weasley horde with their wannabe son Potter.



Severus groaned as he hung his head resignedly. Sweet Nimue, with this bunch of degenerates taking part this had lawsuit written all over it!



He was distracted from his thoughts when Albus stood up and approached the front of the raised dais on which the Head Table sat. He was wearing cobalt blue robes made of raw silk embroidered with silver starbursts. The rich color of the robes brought out the blue in his eyes. He had obviously taken great care in dressing for the occasion.



P.T. Barnum would have been proud.



Ready to begin the event, Albus placed the tip of his wand to his throat and invoked the Sonorus spell.



“Welcome to Hogwarts!” he enthused while beaming at the crowd. “I’m so glad to see so many of my friends and former students here,” the Headmaster’s eyes twinkled mischievously.



“Now, first and foremost, the purpose of this event is to have fun. I think you are all going to find this little exercise to be both intellectually and physically challenging. I trust that tonight you all will discover hidden abilities in each other. Remember to listen to each other as one little scrap of information or insight might be all your team needs to win. I am happy to tell you that the winning team will receive an all-expense paid evening at the Three Broomsticks, courtesy of Madam Rosmerta.” Many people in the room cheered in appreciation.



Dumbledore smiled good-naturedly and motioned to his left, causing a man to come forward to stand beside him. When the second man appeared, Severus sneered openly from his position along the side of the hall.



Albus turned his attention back to the crowd, “I believe many of you may already know Remus Lupin. Remus is our new Event Coordinator and I am going to let him take things from here.” Dumbledore gave Remus a fatherly pat on his shoulder as he left to stand near his Potions Master, who was scowling blackly.



Remus unfolded his notes and began, “Hello everyone, I’m going to go over the main rules for tonight’s scavenger hunt so I’d like everyone to pay attention. The complete set of rules is on the back of the list you will receive, so please be sure to take a moment to read them over. First, players should form teams consisting of three or four people. The only exception to this rule is the very last team, which must have at least two people.”



A good deal of grumbling could be heard as teams were quickly reformed.



Finally Remus continued, “Each person here will be given a list of items to search for. The object of this game is to find as many of the items on the list as you can within two hours. The first team to return to Hogwarts that finds the most items on the list wins. If two teams return with the same number of items, the team arriving first wins.”



Many of the participants were grinning broadly, clearly confident that they would be the winners.



“Each item on the list is worth one point. It doesn’t matter which of the items your team finds, each one will have the same point value.”



House-elves could be seen behind Remus gathering stacks of paper off the Head Table that contained the list of articles to be searched for. “Now this is very important. Any teams not back within two hours will be eliminated. It is vital that everyone synchronize their watches with the large clock on the wall here,” he said while motioning with one hand toward an exceedingly large clock that had appeared on the wall behind the Head Table.



Remus nodded to the elves that were waiting behind him and they eagerly disbursed among the crowd, “Items can be owned or borrowed, but not bought. Items cannot be spelled or transfigured. The only exception is the branch of Gubraithian Fire, which you are allowed to create if you are powerful enough to do so.” He noticed a few people in the crowd shaking their heads in defeat. It seemed that they would be scratching that item off of their list of possibilities. Only a very powerful witch or wizard could create Gubraithian Fire.



“As far as every item on the list is concerned, you must find and bring back a genuine article. Nothing should be conjured, spelled, or transfigured, people. I must impress upon you that the lists you are now being given have been charmed to detect your adherence to the rules in this regard and can detect intent, so please do not be tempted.”



Several teams were seen putting their heads together conspiratorially. The volume in the Great Hall increased as people excitedly started looking over their lists.



The items listed were:



• A Parachute

• A Quick-Quotes Quill

• An Alvin and the Chipmunks Record

• A Comet Broom, Manufactured in 1942

• A Cherub Birdbath

• A Remembrall

• A White Kneazle

• A Copy of the March 18, 1997 Edition of the Quibbler

• An Original Signed Photo of Dolores Umbridge

• A Muggle Garden Gnome

• A Vial of Felix Felicis

• A Copy of PlayWitch

• A CD of Tom Jones’ Greatest Hits

• A Deck of Self-Shuffling Playing Cards

• A Mokeskin Pouch

• A Photo of the Entire Team Sitting on a Gargoyle

• A Branch of Gubraithian Fire

• A Bottle of Calamine Lotion

• A Foe-Glass

• A Rhinestone Keychain

• A Snitch

• A Phoenix Feather

• A McDonald’s Big Mac



The werewolf called out, “Everyone, please listen. I think it goes without saying that there is to be no mischief or breaking of the law in acquiring items. That is to say, you must have the owner’s permission to use any item you bring back. Please remember that teams discovered to be playing unfairly will be eliminated.” With this he shot the crowd a warning look.



“Teams can split up to find items faster. And very importantly, an item can only be used by one team.” The last pronouncement was met by heated comments, both positive and negative, by some of those in attendance. He noticed that the Weasleys in the room all gave him dark looks.



“Everyone should have received a list by now. All the rules are listed on the back in case you have any questions. Also, since one of the items on the list is a photograph, one magical camera will be issued to each team.”



The conversations in the hall had reached a fever pitch and Remus smiled as he watched everyone edge closer toward the closed doors.



“Before we release you, I want everyone to take a moment to synchronize their watches with the clock here. And remember, your entire team must be back here in the Great Hall with your items in less than two hours or you will be eliminated.”



As he spoke, house-elves could be seen moving about the hall handing out a magical camera to each team.



“All right, is everyone ready?”



Affirmative shouts could be heard around the room.



“All right, it’s 7:26, when the clock hits 7:30 I’m going to open the doors. While you wait I would suggest that everyone look over the rules once again.”



Remus watched as people gave their paper a cursory glance. For the most part, everyone was just holding their breath as the second hand inched its way forward.



The tension became so thick it could be cut with a knife.



Minutes seemed like hours until finally Remus tensed and raised the arm holding his wand.



“Get ready! Ready! Go!” With a flick of his wand, the doors sprung open and the crowd rushed forward. “Good luck everyone!” Remus called out behind them.



As the room emptied, Albus and Severus quietly moved up to join Remus.



“I hope you know what you’re doing, Albus,” Severus was surprised to hear Lupin murmur, voicing what he himself had been thinking.



Dumbledore chuckled. “It’ll be fine,” the Headmaster said reassuringly, patting the brown-haired wizard’s shoulder.



Lupin and Snape cast doubtful looks at the Headmaster and then each other, simultaneously rolling their eyes in the universal ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ gesture.



It seemed for once they were in complete agreement.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



As the last of crowd jostled through the gates to Disapparate away, Hermione Granger Apparated in. She ran across the grounds, into the castle, and finally breathlessly into the Great Hall.



Bursting through the doors, she looked around disappointedly and groaned, “Oh, dear gods, I missed it! Harry promised he would wait for me!”



The three wizards looked up from where they stood in front of the Head Table when she arrived.



“You missed everyone by five minutes,” said Remus with a shrug. “Harry ended up teaming with Ron, Ginny, and Luna.”



Hermione seemed to become somewhat subdued at that announcement.



“Oh… Ron is on Harry’s team then,” she said withering. “Well, maybe it’s best that I was late after all,” she said icily.



Silence hung thick in the air and the wizards uncomfortably shared knowing glances.



It was no secret that there was no love lost between Hermione and Ron. In the summer just after graduation the two had lived together briefly. Unfortunately, during that time Ron had discovered and gotten hooked on playing Fantasy Quidditch.



Unknown to Hermione, Ron had also discovered her Debit card. Like an alcoholic at a package store, he recklessly started withdrawing large sums of money to fund his habit.



Ron finally ran the card dry betting on another of his ‘sure things’.



Of course, he lost.



He always lost.



Hermione finally found out what was going on when a letter arrived from her bank notifying her that her account was overdrawn. It was only then that Ron had reluctantly confessed to his indiscretions.



She drew her wand so fast that Ron hadn’t even seen it until it was poking in his forehead. In the resulting flurry of hexes that followed, the wizard found himself blasted through the door of the apartment, lying on his back in a muddy puddle in the middle of a thunderstorm.



In a daze he was barely cognizant of the rest of his belongings hastily joining him in said puddle.



When he finally regained his bearings, he shakily stood in the rain, silently shrunk down his now muddy and sopping wet belongings, and then beat a hasty retreat to the Burrow to lick his wounds.



Hermione had a right to go ballistic.



You see, the Debit card was been linked to a savings account that contained all of her tuition for Wizarding university.



Ron’s impulsiveness could have very well come at the cost of her future.



Her only stroke of luck came a few days later when she met up with Severus after a monthly Order meeting. The meetings had mostly taken on more of the quality of a social gathering after the defeat of Voldemort with people staying afterwards to eat, drink, and catch up on the latest gossip.



Severus had noticed that she was visibly upset as soon as she arrived and sought her out immediately after the meeting.



Finally cornering her alone in the library, the witch had broken down and related the whole sordid tale.



Hermione was so upset over her inability to continue her education that she had begun sobbing uncontrollably and ended up flinging herself into the wizard’s arms where she continued to cry her eyes out for a long, long time.



Although Severus was surprised to find his arms full of an emotional witch, he rose admirably to the occasion and wrapped his arms around her consolingly. He quietly stroked her hair and back comfortingly while he allowed her to get it out of her system.



When the tears had finally been replaced with sniffles, he tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.



In his rich, silky voice, he had then calmly proceeded to explain to the distraught witch that her talents were more fitted to taking on an apprenticeship than attending a Wizarding university where she would only be pushed out like a commodity at a puppy mill.



Severus had then proceeded to offer her an apprenticeship in Potions.



When she had gratefully smiled up at him, her large brown eyes liquid with – this time – tears of delight, Severus had felt his world shift around him.



The Dark wizard had gifted her with one of his few genuine smiles as he admitted to himself that somewhere along the line he had somehow developed an emotional attachment to the little witch.



Seeing her here now in the Great Hall, alone and forsaken by her friends, was a bit upsetting to the Potions Master.



“Hermione, where were you? You missed everyone by five minutes,” said Remus.



Holding her side, the witch continued to approach where they stood on the dais. “I couldn’t help it. A baby was born this morning at St. Mungo’s with a severe heart defect and no one on duty there was qualified to make the potion to correct the condition. I came as soon as I could.”



Twenty-five year old Hermione Granger was now a full Potions Mistress with a high paying position working for the Potions Department of the Ministry of Magic. She was frequently called upon to brew difficult potions. Unfortunately, emergencies often made her work hours very erratic.



“Ah, my dear, it is only a game. You did the right thing. Nothing is more precious than the life of a child,” said Dumbledore consolingly.



“I know. Still, a scavenger hunt sounded like fun. What will they be looking for?” she asked, sounding a bit defeated.



Remus handed her a list and she nonchalantly began to scan it. Severus watched as she suddenly froze, within moments a small twitch seemed to develop around her right eye.



The Potions Master was very familiar with the witch’s various mannerisms and knew that twitch appeared when she was trying to contain herself.



It was her ‘tell’ when they had occasionally played poker together. He almost smiled when he recalled her complaining quite vigorously about his frequent wins. Actually, she became positively rabid every time it happened, going so far as to heatedly accuse Severus of using Legilimency on her.



The little witch was very competitive and did NOT take losing well.



Hermione had worked with Severus on developing potions to weaken the Dark Lord during her seventh year in preparation for the Final Battle. She had, in point of fact, conceived the idea of a time-released airborne potion that was deployed at Death Eater gathering. They loaded it into an innocuous looking feather quills. When Severus was preparing to leave the assemblies, he only needed to snap a quill in half and toss it away. He then had ten minutes to make his escape. The odorless, colorless vapors that were emitted significantly weakened the magical ability of all those who inhaled it for up to three weeks.



It was an absolutely brilliant idea and allowed the fighters in the Order to pick off Voldemort’s unsuspecting followers like flies.



It also gave Potter the advantage he needed to finally defeat Voldemort.



Severus was so impressed with her work that he allowed her to apprentice to him.

He was actually planning on offering her the apprenticeship even before the unfortunate incident with that idiot Weasley.



She spent four years as an apprentice under his tutelage, at the end of which she was able to receive her accreditation as a Potions Mistress.



Although Severus had few real friends, Hermione Granger definitely ranked among the elite group. In truth, since the last year of her apprenticeship he secretly had actively harbored hopes that their relationship could someday become much more.



He now watched her with interest as she affected an air of indifference while squashing her growing excitement and asked aloud, “So, how many people are needed to make a team?”



Her inner voice was actually screaming, ‘Say one!’



“The last team needs a minimum of two people,” Remus told her. As she opened her mouth to speak, he held up a hand to continue, “Albus and I are coordinating the event, so we aren’t eligible to participate.”



A dejected frown curled her lips before she looked at the Potions Master with renewed excitement.



Severus was a bit taken back by the expectant look in her eyes, but gathered his composure quickly. “I’m sorry, Hermione, but I didn’t sign up…,” Severus began.



“Oh, but you did, my boy,” Albus butt in with that infernal twinkle. “I took the liberty of registering all the staff… as a kind of treat,” he said with a playful wink.



Remus snorted. “Why don’t you two talk it over?” he suggested with a chuckle as he turned to begin discussing the return of the various teams with the Headmaster.



Severus’ eyes met Hermione’s and felt the excitement that they were telegraphing. Oh yes, she was definitely up to something.



“Good idea!” exclaimed the witch as she grabbed his hand in an iron grip and tugged him to one end of the Head Table to speak undisturbed.



“Please, please, plllleeeeaaasse, come with me!” she entreated.



“We’ve already lost too much time…”



“No! We haven’t! Severus, I can have my hands on fourteen of these items in just two stops,” she squealed as she bounced on her toes.



“Fourteen?” he said thoughtfully as she nodded her head vigorously. A wicked glitter sparked in the depths of his dark eyes. He recalled the dejected look in her lovely eyes at learning that her – friends – couldn’t be bothered to wait for her. Wouldn’t he just love to stick it to them by winning? He could practically see the looks of their faces when they found out that the friend that the two nitwits had so casually left behind was the brains behind their victory.



Of course, it would have the added benefit of allowing them to work together socially. If he played his cards right, perhaps it could be the springboard for more social activities – like an actual date.



Hmmm… he looked at her, a slight smirk beginning to curl his lips. This undeniably bore further investigation.



Moments later they were bent over the list that was now spread out on the Head Table. Hermione was quickly checking items off by location with a Muggle pen that she had pulled out of her pocket.



Three minutes later, they were both hurrying towards the wrought iron main gates.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



In Wiltshire, Draco and his team rushed up the steps and into Malfoy Manor. A small house-elf opened the front door mere moments before they all burst through it, narrowly escaping being trampling by the onslaught.



Draco, Pansy, Vincent, and Gregory stopped abruptly at the sight of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy standing in the entry way.



“Well, hello,” Narcissa said pleasantly, a broad smile on her face as Lucius finished draping her cloak on her shoulders.



“Yes, good evening, but whatever is the hurry?” Lucius asked curiously as he eyed the out of breath group.



“Mother, father, we’re taking part in a scavenger hunt!” said Draco excitedly. “We‘re in a hurry because we need to get back to Hogwarts in less than two hours or be disqualified.”



The older Malfoys looked at each other questioningly. “What the devil is a scavenger hunt?” Lucius finally asked with a look of confusion on his face.



Pushing the list into his father’s hand Draco said, “We need to find as many of these things as we can.”



Pansy said, “We have to be back to Hogwarts by 9:30…”



“…or we’re disqualified,” finished Vincent, nodding excitedly.



“And we can’t buy them, either,” offered Greg.



“Why don’t you just transfigure…,” started Narcissa.



“We can’t,” said Draco.



“It’s against the rules,” said Pansy.



“We can only bring back genuine articles…,” began Greg.



“…or we’re disqualified,” moaned Vincent.



“Well, we would love to help you all, but as you see we are on our way to the opera,” Lucius stated. He really had no interest in anything that Dumbledore had cooked up.



“I’m sure we’ll be fine. Mother, can we borrow Snowflake?” Draco asked.



“Of course, dear, just be careful with her. You know how temperamental she is. I saw her in the drawing room about 20 minutes ago. Be warned that she detests Apparation, so make sure you put her in a pet carrier,” advised Narcissa as she and her husband approached the front door.



“I will Mother. Have a good time at the opera,” he said as his parents departed the manor. Twin cracks of Apparation were heard moments later.



Draco turned to his team and rubbed his hands together, “Okay, let’s crack this nut. Greg, go down to the drawing room and get Snowflake,” he said as he Transfigured a pet carrier from a bottle cap.



“But I’m allergic to cats,” Greg said sullenly.



Draco rolled his eyes and shoved the carrier into his large hands, “She’s a Kneazle. And you’re just going to have to suffer. Remember, it’s for a cause! We need to beat Potter!”



Turning to Vincent he said, “Run out to the carriage house and go straight to the attic. There’s a bunch of old brooms out there from when my great grandfather owed the Chudley Cannons. It shouldn’t be hard to find a ‘42 Comet among them.”



He watched Greg and Vincent lumber off before he turned to Pansy, “Follow me. We’ll see what else we can find.”



Greg entered the drawing room and smirked when he saw his target curled up by the fireplace.



‘This will be easy,’ he thought smugly. ‘I’ll just snatch the stupid cat and stuff it in the carrier. No problem.’



As he plodded over to the feline, it opened its eyes to observe the intruder to its domain. As Greg drew closer, the Kneazle’s senses went on high alert. Perceiving ill intentions, Snowflake bolted a split second before the wizard’s hand closed on the scruff of her neck.



“Oi, come back here!” he yelled and he ran panting to the doorway where he looked down the hall to see no sign of the Kneazle, “Damn cat!” he muttered as he strode down the hall after it.



After several minutes of searching, he finally caught sight of the feline on a windowsill in the formal dining room. Unfortunately for him, when Snowflake set eyes on him she scurried out of the room like she had seen a Dementor, leaving the wizard to again set off in hot pursuit.



In the meantime, Draco and Pansy had raced through the manor and had soon found six of the items on the list.



As they were discussing the location of another item, they heard a commotion coming from the direction of the entry way and rushed over to investigate.



They found Vincent trying to force his way through the doorway carrying about forty brooms that were sticking out from his arms at every angle.



“Merlin, Vinny, watch what you’re doing. You’re scratching the woodwork!” yelled Draco.



“Oh, sorry,” he said as he gave the bundle in his arms a final push and cleared the doorway.



Just then a white blur dashed down the hall as a frantic Greg yelled to close the door. Too late, Snowflake poured on the speed and slipped into the night.



Draco raced after her, pushing a top heavy Vincent over as he rushed outside with Pansy following closely on his heels.



“Holy crap! We have to find her!” screamed Draco as he looked into the night. “My mother will kill me if something happens to her.”



“Draco, it’s just a cat. She’ll come back when she’s hungry,” offered Pansy, trying to be the voice of reason.



“No, you don’t understand. There’ve been some wild dogs about. If she gets outside the wards and they catch her I’ll never hear the end of it,” Draco moaned.



Vincent and Greg walked up behind them. “We found a ’42 Comet,” Vincent announced happily as Greg nodded vigorously beside him.



“Forget the broom! Help me find that Kneazle!” shrieked Draco as he totally lost it.



“Find the cat? But what about the prize?” Greg asked glumly.



“Help me find Snowflake and I’ll take you all to the Three Broomsticks myself,” promised Draco in desperation. “In fact, I’ll take you all tonight after we find her and then we’ll make a night of it whenever you want,” he said, sweetening the pot like a true Slytherin.



“Well, that’s okay with me,” said Pansy as she looked at Greg and Vincent expectantly.



“Ah, yeah, fine with me, too,” said Greg.



“Yeah, I’m in,” said Vincent hardheartedly.



Draco released the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Everything would be all right so long as his parents didn’t find out he’d lost Snowflake.



“Okay then, let’s go!” he said as they rushed off into the night.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Hermione Apparated them both to her living room where she instantly started giving orders with the efficiency of a Marine drill sergeant.



Pulling out her cell phone she said, “I’ll call my parents and have them get a few things together for us. I need to get some things from a closet in the spare room. While I’m doing that, look through these records here,” she walked over to a large entertainment center and opened a set of doors to review a cache of Muggle photograph records. “There’s an Alvin and the Chipmunks record in here somewhere. I bought it for the little girl next door for when she comes to visit,” she explained.



“Yell if you need me,” she said as she turned and sashayed down the hall. Severus watched the gentle sway of her hips appreciatively until she disappeared into what must have been her spare room.



He continued to stare after her for a few seconds until he turned back to peruse his assignment. Hermione had a fairly large collection of records packed in several neat stacks that he would need to go through.



Ready to get to work, he shrugged off his cloak and tossed it over a chair, and then sank down to sit on the floor.



From the sofa, Crookshanks had awoken when the two humans had arrived. He watched them with interest until Hermione left the room, at which point he rolled onto his feet and stretched luxuriously. Jumping from the sofa he padded his way to Severus. Purring madly, he butted the Dark wizard affectionately with his head.



“Hello, boy,” Severus said in a soothing, deep voice as a hand came up to ruffle the feline’s fur gently. The wizard and the feline had become close during Hermione’s apprenticeship, and Crookshanks never missed an opportunity to get the sort of good, deep petting that only those long, talented fingers could give.



Soon Crookshanks made his way onto the wizard’s lap where he curled on his back to invite a tummy rub. Severus smiled and obliged the cat, which make it purr contentedly. Severus continued absently to stroke Crookshanks as he got down to the business of rifling through the record albums in front of him.



Surprisingly, he quickly found the album and decided to see if he could help Hermione. Picking the now bonelessly content cat up in his arms, he quietly made his way down the hall.



Turning into the room, he found it to be conspicuously empty except for the witch’s cloak on a wall hook. He looked about carefully and was just about to call out to Hermione when he heard the sound of shuffling from the area of the closet. ‘That’s right,’ he thought, ‘she said the things she needed were in the closet.’



Following the sound, he was at last rewarded by seeing movement in its depths. Had the boxes shifted and trapped her?



“Hermione, are you all right?” he asked with concern.



“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Here, take this,” her muffled voice said as a hand appeared holding a Remembrall. He hastily shifted Crookshanks in his arms and put the record on the floor to free a hand. No sooner had he grabbed the object from her when the hand disappeared to return seconds later holding a dog-eared copy of PlayWitch. This process was duplicated until at last a pile containing seven of the items they were seeking lay spread upon the floor.



Finally done, Hermione started to retrace her route on hands and knees out of the closet. Severus watched with interest as her knit dress caught on a high heel that was laying on the floor and began to rise to dangerous levels. First her lovely thighs were fully revealed and then the curves of her delectable derriere were exposed.



Sweet Circe, was that a thong? A pink thong? And with rhinestone hearts?



Severus bit his lip to suppress a groan as he felt a powerful throb in his loins.



‘My, my, Miss Granger, whoever would have thought that you would favor such naughty knickers in intimate apparel?’ Severus reflected appreciatively.



When she had fully extracted herself, she rose on her knees and the dress fell innocently back down to cover her assets, much to the wizard’s dismay.



Her hair was in even more disarray than usual, her cheeks flushed, and she smiled victoriously at Severus. Looking at him closely, she noticed that he had a sort of strained look on his face. “Are you all right? You look kind of flushed,” she said.



Clearing his throat he replied hoarsely, “Yes… yes, I’m just wondering about the time,” he lied as he offered her his hand and helped her up.



Hermione checked the time on her wristwatch, “We’ve only been here twelve minutes. We’re making great time. Let’s shrink this stuff down and get going. Remind me to grab my Quick Quotes Quill on the way out.”



Pulling out their wands, they worked quickly and were soon Disapparating to their next stop, quill in hand.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Meanwhile, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Luna had taken Remus’ advice and separated to find the most items. Each person was sent off to find whatever on the list they could put their hands on in 30 minutes or less with instructions to then meet in front of Honeyduke’s to plan their next move.



Luna was the last of the group to Apparate in. A struggling garden gnome was in her arms.



“Ah, Luna, I’m afraid that’s the wrong kind of gnome. We need the Muggle kind,” said Harry, who was struggling not to laugh.



“You mean Muggles have different ones?” asked Luna in confusion.



Using the opportunity to push his glasses back in place to hide a smile, Harry said, “Yes, I’m afraid so, but it was a good effort all the same.”



“You’re sure?” she asked hesitantly. At Harry’s nod she shrugged and released the creature which immediately booked it down an alley.



“Well, let’s see what we have,” said Ron, placing an arm around Luna’s shoulders and leading her to a seat under a street lamp with Harry and Ginny following.



After checking the booty from their respective hunts, the team had a total of nine items.



“Kind of makes me wish I still had that vial of Felix from sixth year,” said Harry wistfully.



“Don’t worry, mate. We still have an hour,” said Ron.



“So, what’s next?” asked Ginny.



Everyone studied the list. “Well, we could get the picture taken,” offered Luna.



“Where’s there a gargoyle?” wondered Ginny with a frown.



“Oi, I know! There are some a few blocks from the Ministry. Dad pointed them out to me once. They’re big ones, too, so they should fit us all with no problem,” Ron said excitedly.



“All right then. Let’s Apparate to the front of the Ministry and we’ll walk from there,” said Harry.



Everyone eagerly agreed and in moments the spots where they had stood were empty.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



“Here they are,” said Jane Granger as she handed her daughter a CD and a bottle of calamine lotion. “That old parachute of your grandfather’s is too dusty to bring in, so it’s on the back porch, and of course the birdbath and gnome are in the yard. Do make sure I get my Tom Jones CD back, dear. You know he’s my favorite,” she implored.



“Don’t worry, Mum, we’ll take good care of him,” Hermione reassured her.



Just then they heard the front door being shut and her father came around the corner into the kitchen they were standing in.



“Here you go, kitten, one Big Mac” he said with a big smile as he handed her a McDonald’s bag.



He slapped Severus on the back affectionately and said cheerfully, “It’s about time you joined us. We haven’t seen you for months.”



“Yes, why don’t you come to lunch tomorrow with Hermione? We can catch up,” Jane entreated.



“That’s very kind, but I don’t want to impose on family time,” replied the wizard.



“Nonsense, you’re practically family,” insisted John as his wife nodded vigorously in agreement.



“Mum, Dad, I’m sorry, but we do have to get going. But don’t worry, I’ll work on him. Plan for us both to be here,” she said as she stashed the CD and bottle in her robe pockets.



“Good,” John said with a chuckle, “and maybe we can talk you both into joining us next month in Switzerland. You ski, don’t you, Severus?”



Ski?



Severus’ eyes took on a sort of deer in the headlights look and he hesitantly shook his head.



“Oh, don’t worry,” Jane said confidently, “it’s easy as pie. We’ll have you shushing in no time flat.”



Hermione burst into loud peals of laughter at the idea of the uptight Potions Master ‘shushing’ about the slopes. She wrapped her arm around Severus’ and repeated, “I’ll work on him.” Giving them a last wave of goodbye, she led him toward the back door.



“Don’t worry,” she whispered to him conspiratorially, “I’m not big on skiing either. If you don’t like it we can spend quality time curled up in front of the fire in the lodge.”



She gave him a big smile as she picked up the parachute. He returned the smile as he quickly took it from her.



“Quality time doesn’t sound too bad,” he purred silkily in her ear. He was pleased to see that her eyes became half-lidded and she blushed.



‘Hmmm, maybe this attraction isn’t all one sided,’ he thought as he placed his free hand on her lower back and followed her out into the yard.



Leaning down, he murmured in her ear, “So, how do you intend to ‘work on me’?”



She looked up at him – he noticed she was actually looking at his lips - and smiled, “Well, I was hoping asking nicely would work. If that fails I might have to resort to the old standbys of whining and crying, which men are known to hate. I figure after that you’ll be putty in my hands, willing to do anything just to shut me up.”



Severus snorted, “My dear, in your hands I can assure you that no part of me would resemble putty. I’m thinking something more on the order of stone, with some parts of me harder than others, of course.”



She gasped and turned to face him.



Was he flirting with her?



She certainly hoped so!



She had been attracted to him for what felt like forever! This was just too good an opportunity to pass up.



“Really?” she asked softly.



She looked into his eyes as she took a step closer to him and brought her hands up to hesitantly play with the buttons on his coat.



“Really,” his rich baritone voice replied as a hand grasped her waist and drew her body into his. Dropping the parachute, his other hand came up to bury itself in her hair as his face slowly descended until their lips met and he pressed butterfly kisses on them.



Watching her face carefully and finding no sign of rejection, he threw caution to the wind and kissed her with all the passion he felt.



As the kiss continued she clutched the fabric of his frock coat, pulling him closer, and she soon felt his arms tightening around her in response. She felt his tongue ghost over her mouth and she eagerly parted her lips in response. His tongue wasted no time in invading her mouth, dueling with her owe, plundering her mouth, claiming her as his.



When they finally drew apart, they continued to look deeply into one another’s eyes. She was shaking with desire and her body felt like it was on fire. She was gratified to see that they were both panting as if they had run a foot race against the Hogwarts Express.



“So, does this mean you’ll come?” she finally was able to ask coquettishly while trying to control her breathing.



“Merlin, I certainly hope so!” he hissed as he ground his erection into her.



She bit her lip while she raked her eyes down his body to his groin and then back again. “I mean to Switzerland, silly,” she breathed as she switched her hips against his provocatively.



His obsidian eyes looked down on her lustfully. “Don’t worry, I plan to come there, too, and I won’t be alone,” he purred meaningfully as he claimed her mouth yet again.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



An hour later, Draco, Pansy, Vincent, and Greg had managed to look under and in every nook, cranny, and bush on the grounds of Malfoy Manor.



Unfortunately, Snowflake was still nowhere in sight.



“Maybe we could just buy your mother a new one,” suggested Vincent.



Draco growled and said tightly, “No, we can’t. Purebred Kneazles with white hair and gray eyes are extremely rare. My father had his name on a waiting list for three years before he could get Snowflake for my mother. We need to find her.”



“Well, maybe if we could catch one of those dogs you were talking about, it could find the cat,” put forth Greg sagely.



Draco felt himself reaching for his wand. He was going to hex these two dolts if it was the last thing he did.



Suddenly Pansy grabbed his arm and hissed, “Look! Over there!” she said excitedly as she pointed toward a fence that bordered a neighbor’s property. Sure enough, a white ball of fur could be seen slipping under the fence.



“It’s her!” Draco cried. “Come on. Let’s get her!”



Everyone hurried off, anxious to retrieve Snowflake and to try to salvage some part of the night.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



“Come on! This way!” said Ron as he led everyone down a dimly lit street.



“How much farther is it?” asked Ginny as held her hand to the stitch on her side. ‘I really need to start an exercise program,’ she reflected.



“Look! Here we are!” he stated proudly as he pointed to the top of the large stone building in front of them. “See? Up there! Gargoyles!”



“Nice work!” said Ginny as she leaned against a street pole and caught her breath.



Harry looked over the scene in front of him critically. The derelict building was a mere shell that was surrounded by chain link fencing with signs all over it warning passersby of falling masonry.



“Ah, Ron? This place doesn’t look very safe.”



“What do you mean? Harry, it’s fine,” Ron said, his feathers getting a bit ruffled.



“How are we going to get up there?” asked Luna. “We can’t Apparate since we don’t know what’s up there.”



Ron looked over the building with interest. “Well, we can see the gargoyles. I can Apparate onto the back of one and then get a look at the roof. Then I can come back and Side-Along Apparate with the rest of you up there.”



Harry took a doubtful look back up to the gargoyles. “Yeah, I suppose that will work,” he said hesitantly.



Everyone watched as a slate roof tile dropped off an overhang and shattered onto the pavement below.



It wasn’t a good omen.



Ginny gulped and whispered, “I don’t know, Ron. I think we should maybe forget about the picture.”



“Yes, Ron. It’s getting late. Maybe we should just get back to Hogwarts with what we have,” implored Luna.



“I don’t believe you three! You’re all nuts! Those gargoyles have been up there for a hundred years and will probably still be there a hundred years from now,” he said animatedly.



“Watch, I’ll prove it!” he said heatedly just before he suddenly Disapparated.



“I don’t like this,” Harry whispered ominously as he looked upward for any sign of his friend.



“Oh! Over there!” cried Luna as she pointed to her left.



Ginny laughed with relief, “He did it!”



Sure enough, Ron Weasley was standing on top of one of the stone gargoyles looking down at his friends and waving madly.



Everyone waved back and watched as Ron jumped a few times on the gargoyles’ back as if to prove it was safe.



Unfortunately for Ron, he jumped once too many times and the stone creature dislodged from where it was tenuously attached to the rundown building.



As if in slow motion, everyone watched in horror as Ron plummeted to the ground below while still astride the grotesque figure.



Harry reacted instantly.



“Arresto Momentum!” he screamed with wand extended. “Arresto Momentum! Arresto Momentum!” he continued to shout as Ginny and Luna clutched one another helplessly.



Despite Harry being a powerful wizard, Ron was just too far away for the spell to reach him.



They all could only watch as the two figures pirouetted in the air as they spiraled downward.



Regrettable, at the moment of impact Ron hit the ground first followed by roughly 40 tons of granite.



There was nothing left.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



At last finding the strength to pull away from Hermione’s hot little mouth, Severus informed her that they needed to stay on track.



He smiled when a glassy eyed Hermione pouted prettily up at him.



“Let’s win this game quickly so that we have the rest of the night to ourselves,” he told her.



Hermione found that she couldn’t argue with that logic.



So it was that she found herself standing in the living room of Severus’ house on Spinner’s End as the wizard raced from room to room retrieving different items.



So far he had brought her a Phoenix feather, a Mokeskin pouch, a vial of Felix Felicis, and a Foe-Glass.



Presently she could hear him rummaging through the attic in search of an old broomstick of his mother’s that he assured her was a ’42 Comet.



“My mother was fond of it. I had to research the year and model once when it needed a repair,” he had told her.



Just then Severus came around the corner triumphantly holding a shabby looking broom in his hand.



“You found it!” she exclaimed happily as she checked another item off on the list.



“Yes, I did,” he said as he dropped a kiss on her lips.



She looked at the list critically. “Well, I think the photo should be the next thing we get.”



Severus nodded, “True. Do you have any ideas about where we can accomplish this feat?”



Hermione smiled up at him, “As a matter of fact I do. Are we done here?”



The wizard shrunk his items and put them in the pockets of his cloak before saying, “Yes, we are.”



At that she linked arms with him and with a turn they were gone.



Moments later Severus found himself standing in a well cared for park.



“Where are we?” he asked as he glanced about.



“We’re in the Eastside of London at Greenwich Park. Follow me,” she said as she headed down a well manicured path.



Soon they came upon a children’s play lot containing many large weathered copper figures of various magical creatures. Severus allowed Hermione to lead him around the circumference of the lot until they stood in front of a large rendering of a gargoyle.



“Hop on!” she said excitedly as she ran over and did just that.



Severus groaned and approached it stiffly, radiating all the enthusiasm of a man approaching the gallows.



“I can’t believe I’m sitting on a child’s toy. Albus is never going to let me hear the end of this,” he complained as he slid on behind Hermione, placing his hands on her waist.



She leaned back against him, glancing at him over her shoulder, and said, “Oh, you poor thing! Is there anything I can do to make this any better for you?”



His eyes darkened as he looked down at her.



“Well, maybe there is something, my dear,” he murmured silkily as he pulled her back toward him with one hand while his other wrapped around her hair and pulled her head back so that his lips could claim hers.



Severus consoled himself as best he could, and for as long as he could, while, unknown to him, the magical camera that Hermione had already released recorded the moment for posterity.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



“This way!” Draco said excitedly as they skirted the edges of the neighboring yard. “Does anybody see her?”



“Nope,” Greg replied.



“Who lives here?” asked Vincent.



“As far as I know it’s just some crotchety old man who always yelled at me when I was a kid. A real hard ass, as I remember,” said Draco.



“Hey, look over there! I think it’s her!” said Pansy as she pointed to the covered porch.



Sure enough, they watched a white Kneazle as it leisurely padded across the decking and jumped onto a cushioned chair where it immediately curled up comfortably.



Pansy said, “Let’s get closer.”



“All right, but let me grab her this time,” Draco responded.



“I wish you had gone to get her from the start,” muttered Greg as they all edged closer to the porch.



“You and me both,” replied Draco under his breath.



Everyone spread out around the porch as Draco slowly made his way toward the feline.



Much to his amazement, the animal offered no resistance when he picked it up in his arms.



Sighing with relief, he descended to the yard to join his companions.



“Wow! It must be really tired,” said Pansy and she looked at the animal suspiciously.



“Yeah, come on, let’s get out of here,” said Draco



A cold voice came out of the darkness, “You four won’t be going anywhere except with the Aurors.”



Just then loud twin cracks were heard and two stony faced Aurors stood in front of them.



“Oh, dear, we are in trouble,” the cruel, but strangely familiar voice crooned.



“Is this lot giving you trouble, Mr. Filch?” asked the taller of the two.



“Filch?!” four voices yelled out simultaneously, everyone staring at him in horror.



An evil chuckle was heard in answer.



“I’ve caught them red-handed stealing my pet, Aurora,” he told the Aurors.



“This is my mother’s Kneazle, not yours,” said Draco indignantly.



“She’s mine,” Filch replied hotly.



“You’re crazy, old man. This Kneazle belongs to my mother!” the blonde insisted as he took a step forward.



“Why you little…,” Filch balled his fists and stared angrily as he too moved toward Draco. One of the Aurors stepped in front of him to keep them apart.



“Exactly who do you claim the animal belongs to?” the shorter Auror asked Draco.



“My father, Lord Lucius Malfoy, bought her for my mother, Lady Narcissa Malfoy,” Draco said self-importantly, obviously one who believed in dropping names.



“Nonsense, she’s mine all right. I’ve had her since she was a kitten,” the grizzled old caretaker muttered.



“Okay,” the Auror said, addressing Draco again. “Where can we find your parents?”



Draco paled. He so didn’t want his parents to know about this, but it seemed as though it couldn’t be helped.



“They’re at the opera in London,” Draco replied sullenly.



The tall Auror nodded. “I’ll send someone to pick your father up.”



“This is entirely unnecessary. I’m royalty for Merlin’s sake. How can you take the word of a Squib over mine?” Draco hissed.



The Auror drew himself up to his full height, “Well, let’s see. Mr. Filch has been a respected member of the staff of Hogwarts for decades. But if that’s not enough, I suppose the fact that he’s my uncle might make me want to give what he says a little more weight, don’t you think,” he hissed in the blonde wizard’s face.



Draco winced. This wasn’t going well.



The other shorter Auror spoke up, “Okay, that’s enough. We’re taking you all down to headquarters and we’ll sort this out there.”



“He has no right to hold my Aurora!” exclaimed Filch.



Draco shielded the Kneazle with his body and shouted back, “She’s not yours!”



With an exasperated groan, Filch’s nephew stepped forward and took the animal in his arms.



“There now, I’ll hold her until this is all settled. Satisfied?” he asked condescendingly as he looked from one to the other.



“Just make sure I get her back!” replied a seriously put out Filch.



“Like hell you will!” answered Draco petulantly.



The shorter Auror pulled a baby pacifier out of his pocket that was spelled to be a Portkey.



“Everybody grab a hold, we’re going to the station.”



Everyone did as instructed and five seconds afterward they were gone.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Apparating to the gates of Hogwarts, Hermione cast Lumos and checked her watch. “We have twenty minutes to get to the Great Hall,” she announced into the night.



Nodding distractedly, Severus walked over to the edge of the trail and began to check the ground. Finally he picked up a fallen branch and tested it for strength. Moments later Hermione watched as he withdrew his wand from its sheath and started to softly sing a spell in his velvety baritone voice. Powerful magic crackled in the air and the witch felt it ghosting over her flesh like a caress.



Suddenly the tip of the branch was engulfed in flames.



“You did it! You conjured Gubraithian Fire,” she said smiling happily. “Ten points to Slytherin!” she cried as she clapped her hands in delight.



Severus chuckled. “Thank you, my dear, but I think I’ll take my reward in something other than points,” he said as leaning down to give her a few quick kisses.



Hermione sighed. “We need to get up to the castle.



Severus shifted the branch and wrapped an arm around the witch’s waist. He kissed her lips a final time before they hurriedly made their way to the castle.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



At the Division of Law Enforcement in the Ministry of Magic, Auror in Charge Ernest Everheart was relaxing at the front desk enjoying a quiet evening with a copy of the Daily Prophet and a mug of tea.



After 50 years of service as an Auror, Ernest was winding down toward a well-earned retirement. He only had two months more to go and then he would be carefree at last.



His supervisor had decided to let him ride out his final days in comfort behind a desk. After all, there was no sense in him risking life and limb in the field at the twilight of his career.



Suddenly, a rumbling like a herd of Centaurs was heard approaching him.



The double doors from the hallway burst open and about two dozen very loud people were steered up to the front desk.



Suddenly Ernest’s hopes for a quiet night shattered into pandemonium.



Everyone seemed to talking at once. Through the hubbub, Ernest managed to make out disjointed fragments of conversations.



“Hey, stop pushing!”



“I want my birdbath back!”



“Where’s my broom?”



“Who pinched my arse!”



“Does anybody have a Tylenol?”



“I’m missing the opera!”



“They vandalized my yard…”



“Hey, this is law enforcement, can you spare a donut?”



“Has anybody seen my Kneazle?”



Ernest shook his head and looked imploringly at the Aurors who had accompanied the group into the room. Two of them were standing with white Kneazles in their arms and another was holding a white Lhasa apso.



He caught the eye of one of the Aurors and raised a questioning eyebrow; however his associate only shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. He was obviously going to be no help in straightening this mess out.



The cacophony in the room had quickly reached a fever pitch. Having had enough, Ernest stood and shouted for quiet. Finding that to be ineffective, he raised his wand to his throat and cast the Sonorus charm to magically amplify his voice.



“QUIET!” he roared.



That finally took the wind out of everyone’s sails and the accompany silence was suddenly deafening.



“Listen and listen good, I don’t want any noise tonight,” he hissed. “I don’t want any nonsense.”



He cast a quelling eye over the group.



“Understand?” he asked in a dangerously low voice.



Several cowed people hastily nodded in affirmation.



“All right, Auror Buck,” he said to the man carrying the Lhasa apso, “give me an overview of this mess.” Ernest grabbed a nearby quill and readied himself to take notes on his log.



Randy Buck stepped forward and said, “Well, he caught a couple of groups trying to snatch these animals and a couple more were running around with stolen lawn ornaments.”



Ernest nodded as he wrote. “That’s theft of private property,” he murmured. “Hmm… possibly animal endangerment.”



“Another group was accosting that woman over there,” the Auror continued.



A sickly sweet voice piped up, “Hem-hem… I think they tried to Imperio me…”



Ernest looked up and through the press of bodies he caught glimpses of the short, squat woman with a pink bow in her hair who had spoken.



“That’s…unbelievable,” he intoned before he returned to jotted down his notes.



“You have a lot of nerve…” an irate male voice yelled out from the crowd.



“We only wanted a picture, you toad!” another voice cried out.



This was all it took to break the proverbial dam and the volume in the room rose again to dangerous levels.



“Why you filthy…”



“Oh, damn, I broke a nail!”



“Hey, buddy! Have you seen my Kneazle?”



“Forget the Kneazle, I’m missing the opera!”



“How long is this going to take?”



“Hey, did you graduate from Hogwarts in ’86?”



“Is there a cafeteria here?”



Invoking the Sonorus again, Ernest shouted, “Sweet Merlin, enough! Everyone just be quiet!”



Looking out over the group, Ernest fleetingly found himself suddenly longing for the good old days when the torture chamber was still an option.



“I should send you all to Azkaban, wrapped in heavy chains,” he said ominously as he rubbed his aching temple.



“My nerves are shot! Now, I want one person to explain this mess,” he said as his eyes raked the assembly. They suddenly fell on one person who haughtily looked over the people around him.



“You there! Lord Malfoy! Perhaps you can shed some light on who is responsible for this fiasco.”



Lucius strode smugly to the front of the crowd and met the man’s eyes with a sneer.



“Oh, I know whose harebrained idea is responsible. One word will clear this all up, in fact,” he replied confidently.



“Lord Malfoy, if you can do that I’ll personally nominate you for an Order of Merlin. Now, if you don’t mind, what is that word?”



Lucius chuckled and hissed out, “Dumbledore.” The word sounded like a curse on his lips.



Dumbledore!



Ernest snapped his quill in his hand and groaned loudly while he distantly registered one of the Aurors in the room chuckling darkly while making an offhand comment about the Hogwarts Headmaster being barking mental.



Lucius chose that moment to slap a copy of the rules of tonight’s event in front of him.



Ernest looked at it with a jaundiced eye that had suddenly developed a very noticeable tic.



A scavenger hunt! What the devil was that?



Oh, sweet succotash, he had heard about the crazy activities taking place at Hogwarts!



Ernest sighed in defeat and dropped his head into his ink stained hands.



Oh… That tore it!



‘Forget the payout for sick leave,’ thought Ernest with resolve. ‘Starting tomorrow, I’m spending the rest of my time until retirement on a beach in St. Croix!’



With a new purpose, he glared at the crowd and steeled himself for what was to come.



If Dumbledore was involved, this was going to be a very, very long night.



He distantly heard a refined voice purr, “So, about that Order of Merlin… ”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



When Hermione and Severus walked into the Great Hall they were surprised to see that over half of the teams had arrived before them.



They made their way through the crowd to the Head Table where Remus cheerfully took a count of all the items they had presented.



“Twenty-one items, nicely done you two!” exclaimed Remus. “You only missed finding a Kneazle and a photo of Umbridge.”



“We did the best we could with the time we had,” said Hermione somewhat defensively. Sensing that she was becoming aggravated, Severus rested his hand on her back and rubbed comforting circles on her skin.



In truth, neither of them could think of an available white Kneazle.



Then Hermione had firmly put her dainty foot down concerning the photo of Umbridge, stating heatedly that nothing could entice her to lower herself to ask that nasty piece of work for a favor.



Severus shared the sentiment.



“Well, your total is good enough to put you both in the lead!” said Remus, bringing Hermione’s attention back to him.



“What teams are our closest competitors?” inquired Severus.



Remus nodded toward a team of Ravenclaws who had graduated four years ago. Every one of them was known for being insanely competitive. “They had twenty items. No other team has come close so far.”



They left Remus when another team arrived in the hall and walked over to the refreshment table where they each got a drink and a few snacks.



Finding an empty table toward the back of the room, they allowed themselves to relax while watching the clock slowly inch its way toward 9:30 and the end of the hunt.



At last the clock chimed on the half hour. Remus promptly stood up and declared the hunt over.



The brown-haired wizard called out each team’s final score going from lowest to highest, building anticipation.



At last he called out Hermione and Severus’ score and declared them the winners.



This led to the Ravenclaws in second place immediately challenging the score. They insisted that the team photo be examined to ensure it complied with the rules.



If the Ravenclaws could get the team photo disqualified, they would win.



“Of course, let’s see what they have,” Remus said as he drew his wand.



He briefly waved the tip of his wand in an omega pattern over the magical camera before saying clearly ‘Ostendo Sum Statua’. With one more swish and flick, a white cloud began to appear over the camera.



Everyone held their breath as the moving image of the witch and wizard astride a gargoyle took shape.



The Ravenclaws, bad sports all, muttered darkly over being bested.



The rest of the hall, however, was transfixed as everyone watched the normally sour and repressed Potions Master repeatedly giving the witch the hottest kisses they had ever been witness to.



All eyes suddenly turned to the couple in a mix of admiration, confusion, disgust, and desire.



Severus and Hermione only smiled smugly as they looked at one another lustily.



Without a care for the crowd surrounding him, the wizard quirked a teasing eyebrow at her as he leaned over and caught her lips in a breath stealing kiss.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The next morning, a pair of twinkling blue eyes watched from the anonymity of the second floor landing as Miss Granger and his Potions Master ascended from the dungeons.



He couldn’t help but notice that neither had made it to breakfast.



‘Well, they were most likely feeding other appetites,’ he thought wickedly.



Those too had caused quite the stir last night when they had boldly stood up after sharing a decidedly unchaste kiss, walked up to the dais where they had plucked their prize from Remus’ fingers, and then strolled out of the hall as if their being a couple was the most natural thing in the world.



It was glorious.



For the most part Albus considered the night a success. Yes, those run-ins with the Aurors were unfortunate, but everything had been ironed out in the end.



Of course that business with young Mr. Weasley was regrettable, but he had shown a deplorable amount of judgment in Apparating onto a condemned building. Perhaps the Wizarding World’s gene pool would be stronger without him in it.



It was clear that everyone else had certainly had a good time.



His eyes followed a smiling Hermione and Severus as they exited through the large oak doors of the castle arm in arm.



‘Ah, to be young again,’ he reflected with a delighted twinkle in his blue eyes.



Earlier that morning Albus had decided on the next major event to be held at Hogwarts.



‘Yes, hosting a murder mystery dinner theatre will be just the thing!’ he thought excitedly.



Beginning the journey back to his office, he began to loudly hum a rather off-key rendition of ‘Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)’.



As Dumbledore stepped onto the revolving staircase he reflected that his choice of event required a bit more research on his part, which with any luck he could get out of the way by lunchtime.



As he settled in behind his desk he wondered, ‘Now where did I leave that copy of ‘Clue’?’





~ Fin ~





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Author’s Note: I think it will come as no surprise when I say that the scene in the Ministry was very heavily influenced by the movie ‘What’s Up, Doc?’ starring Barbra Streisand and Ryan O’Neal. And if you recognized anything, yes, I did borrow a few of the unforgettable lines from the courtroom scene in the movie. Just think of it as my own personal way of paying homage to a film classic.