The Rules of the Game

A/N: I’m so sorry that it’s been sooooooooo long since I’ve updated. (no excusing, just explaining) I’ve tried not to let it but school has inevitably fucked up my life. I’m taking way too many classes and am having trouble with them, as well as working two part time jobs and so am left with no time to sleep let alone work on something that makes me happy. I will continue my stories; it’s just going to take me a while to update. I’ll try not to let another month go by before I update, but I can’t promise anything. Sorry everyone, but I do want to thank you guys for being so supportive and giving great reviews that get me back in gear. Hope you enjoy the chapter, and if you guys ever have suggestions of where you want the story to go (as long as it doesn’t interfere with what I already have planned) I’ll see about including them, ideas are always good! Thanks. (and thanks for fencing freak for the review that reminded me how long it had been since my last update, again sorry about that)

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Chapter 25

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The following days were the most difficult to continue with the same façade I had built over the years. My instincts told me to prostrate myself before Draco every time I saw him, but I couldn’t. Not only did he want nothing to do with me right now, but it wouldn’t fit with the illusion I had built.

I hadn’t returned to sleep in the dorms since the first night, but continued to go to the comfort of my cupboard.

With the dissention between Draco and I the Slytherins sided with him and took the opportunity to bring themselves higher in the social structure within our house. I didn’t mind them snubbing me but I didn’t tolerate any of their petty schemes to advance themselves. To my surprise Blaise Zambini and Pansy Parkinson as well as a few other Slytherins treated me no differently. Of course that just means that they acknowledged my existence.

The sudden silence in my life disturbed me, but guiltily enough I took relief in being able to see Draco, even if the only time he looked at me it was with a glare. The times I talked was when answering a teacher or Persephone, and she prudently avoided the topic of Draco. Left with only my thoughts I did the only thing I could do and threw myself further into my studies, barely sleeping at night but instead sneaking into the restricted section and consuming as many books a night as I could.

By the end of the first week since the incident with Draco my potion came out so poorly that Snape gave me a zero for the first time in his class. I could feel that he was frustrated with me but there was nothing that I could do, and so I continued to ignore his glares and tried to think of another way out of my predicament.

It wasn’t long before I discovered that dark objects could feed the hunger in me some, but the amount was so miniscule that it aggravated me more than it helped, not to mention that there isn’t an abundance of dark objects in Hogwarts.

The hunger was continuing to grow and with it my only other respite was taken away. I was too worried about the effect I could have on a dark creature to risk visiting Ira at this point and so was left alone with my problems.

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By the end of another week I felt horrible. My body was starving for something I refused to give it and the strain was starting to show. I even caught Draco giving me concerned looks recently which made me feel even more unworthy of him. My problem was getting worse by the day, but who could I go to? I refused to hurt Draco further and wasn’t about to assault a random 7th year Slytherin who were smelling better as the days went by. I had already swallowed my pride and went for help once to the only one I thought would, but that was thrown back into my face.

Four days ago I went to Snape for help despite the glares I had been receiving. It was clear that he had talked with Draco, and even if he didn’t know the entire story he knew enough to be angry at me for hurting the boy. But I had been so hungry, and despite feeling unworthy, I went down hoping for relief.

To say that I was denied is clear as my stomach is still aching with pain, but he also made it clear that he expected me to apologize to his Godson and fix what I had done. I didn’t tell him that I had apologized in every way that I could think of except face to face.

Crabe and Goyle seemed to have become his bodyguards and made sure that I stayed away, but after the first time I tried and received a look that could kill I didn’t push him. So I found other ways. I sent him notes telling him I was sorry, as well as gifts that he would throw out making sure I saw, or if it was food he gave it to his new bodyguards.

But I couldn’t give him what he really wanted; an explanation and a promise that it wouldn’t happen again.

I didn’t see how that was possible and I feared that I would always be so broken. I could never tell Draco the truth, I knew he would be further disgusted with me and unable to understand why I do what I must. So I didn’t apologies to get him to forgive me, but instead to realize that it was not him who did something wrong. I am just a freak.

Two days ago I stopped eating. My mind couldn’t handle the fact that despite eating I was still desperately hungry and the confusion was causing me to seek my blade more and more. The further starvation helped my appearance about as much as Longbottom could help Snape in potions, but my original glamours still hid the truth from everyone.

I continued with Quidditch practices but had to be cautious not to get too close to certain Slytherins, especially Draco, worried I would loose control of myself soon.

The game that weekend I almost did loose control when we were lined up at the beginning of the game. Everywhere else I could stay away from those I could feel the dark energy coming from, but on that field with that delicious smell snaking around me so close. With the sound of a whistle those tantalizing scents shot away from me, and I was left on the ground suddenly realizing that I looked like a complete fool just standing there. But then again when I caught the snitch just 20 minutes later, no one was sniggering anymore.

Before everyone had realized that the game was over I was off my broom and headed towards the isolation of my cupboard where I was hoping to get some of my control back.

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Twenty minutes later and I couldn’t stand it; I was literally clawing at my skin. It felt like the hunger had turned on me in its need to consume something and while the pain racked my body, my mind kept slipping back to Draco and Snape. Both so delicious, so rich and filling, both… hate my guts.

“No, I can’t do that. I won’t hurt him again.” I promised to myself and to the comforting darkness around me.

There was only one other option. If I wouldn’t feed on anyone here, then I would go somewhere else.

Before the thought was even complete my body was moving, the hunger easing a little as if sensing that soon it would get what it desired.

I moved towards McGonagall’s rooms as they were the closest and everyone would be at the diner feast already anyway.

It wasn’t difficult to get past her wards, I just reached out with my magic and it practically sung the secrets to me.

The fireplace was straight across the room and I strode quickly not wanting to give my personal magic time to settle and leave a mark in the room. I grabbed a handful of the green powder and said the first place the came to mind, the perfect place to get something you wanted with few questions.

“Knockturn Alley”

***

It was a simple matter to change my clothes to a long black cloak that covered everything and I was instantly just another shadow in the street. I wasn’t sure what exactly I was doing but I slowly eased the strangle hold I had had on the hunger for weeks now and let it guide me.

Within seconds I found myself in a disgusting side alley and watched from the shadows the sceen before me.

There had been hundreds of possibilities to feed from as soon as I arrived here but for some reason the hunger wanted him.

I watched as the relatively fit wizard felt up the young boy in front of him who was struggling to pull away. The man’s hair was graying slightly at the temples but when considering wizards that could mean that they were anywhere from 60 to 100. With another little push of magic the black robe shifted across my body, seeming to come alive and turn to liquid as it reformed itself into impossibly tight leather pants and a mesh shirt. Another thought assured that anyone who looked at me would only see what they wished me to look like.

Unable to wait any longer I strode out of my shadows, allowing my body to ooze sex and darkness, and reached out with my magic for the man just 20 feet away. His hand instantly froze on the inner thigh of the other prostitute before falling away as he turned completely to regard me. I let my eyes blaze with the hunger that was at the edge of taking complete control of me and watched as he fell to the power.

Barely two minutes later we were down another street, rented into a seedy hotel, if it could even be called that, and I was shutting the door as the stranger ran his hands over my body.

With the click of the door shutting I released all control over to this demon inside me, my consciousness falling to the back of my mind.

Instantly my mouth was on the older wizard as I tried to devour the darkness from him but I couldn’t reach it. I bit at his lip, the taste of blood throwing me further out of control, not caring in the least at the mans protesting arms.

My magic acted before I could even complete my thoughts, knocking the man to the floor and vanishing both our shirts.

I fell upon him, ignoring his bleeding lips, turning my attention to his neck and biting hard.

A scream was torn from his throat, as burning blood filled my mouth, but my magic had already acted and a silencing shield was up before the noise could escape. His struggles grew but another flux of power had the man restrained to the floor.

I wasn’t thinking any longer. Still greedily lapping at the blood pouring from his neck but it still wasn’t enough. I had been hungry for too long and I needed more.

My magic turned to the man and began to pull at him, drawing and ripping out the darkness in him that I needed as his screams reached a new level.

Blood splashed across my body from the lacerations that were materializing across his skin, warming my cool flesh.

I didn’t even think about what I was doing, my mind consumed with the pleasure and satisfaction it was getting from the feeding.

The hunger slowly began to fade, relinquishing more and more of my mind and I became aware that at some point I had come in the pants I still wore.

Unable to comprehend all that was going on yet I enjoyed the warm wetness beneath me that was still giving off small amounts of what I hungered for, and wriggled further into it.

It took a while longer before I could look around with awareness and that was when I become conscious of the bloody corpse that I was reveling in.

Horrified I jerked back and scrambled away until my back hit the wall. I stared at the corpse, trying to remember where I was and what I had been doing.

I gazed at it for probably half an hour, feeling sick in my stomach.

I had killed.

The first human life I take and I don’t even remember it; how annoying.

It wasn’t the idea that I had killed that made me feel sick, but instead the knowledge that that could have been Draco or Snape.

With a sigh I gathered my feet and stood gazing around at the blood splattered wall.

A wave of my hand assured that no trace of me would be left in the room and a flick of the finger returned my heavy cloak.

I left the room with one last glance of annoyance before going down stairs to use the fireplace to go to the Leaky Cauldron from where I would go to the Hogs Head and then make my way back up to the school. Probably best not to floo straight from a murder sight to Hogwarts.

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I slipped easily back into the castle and took a moment to be shocked at how simple the whole excursion had been before making my way towards the Slytherin dorms. For the first time in a long while, I felt safe enough to be with my housemates.

***

I had been just about to hiss out the password to the dorm entrance when the wall slid open and a body came dashing out running right into me. The force of the larger body knocked us both over and when I recovered from the jarring looked up into Blaise’s panicked face.

“Harry! You have to help. It’s Draco.”

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A/N: I know, I'm a bitch, so sorry but I gotta go to class.