Bleed Me An Ocean

Hours. It had been hours since Dumbledore had taken Harry away and there was still no sign; no word. Draco swallowed the lump of panic in his throat. What if they had simply expelled him with no word, turned him out with nothing? Or maybe they had sent him to Azkaban to await a trial. He didn\'t know, but every scenario he came up with was worse than the last. It was torturous to wait like that, he felt cold inside, like there was ice trickling through his innards.With a moan of pure misery he buried his face in his hands.

Drunk again, he was even less controlled than usual. He warred with feelings of anger, regret and the purest self loathing imaginable. There was a part of him that was in denial as well. That part of him kept insisting this was nonsense, that none of what had happened that day had really happened. The room was cold, but Draco was unmindful as he lay on his back to stare at the ceiling above him. He wore no robes, or the tatty shirt he\'d had on. He absently picked at the scabbed over cuts on his belly, only relenting when the scab he worried at gave and tore off, blood welling anew in the wound. Then he would quite merrily move on to the next laceration to start his sick game over again.

Dreizehn sat solemnly in a corner, watching the blonde, only pausing to occasionally cast an anxious glance at the door. He, too, missed Harry. A quiet hoot from the window made Draco turn his head to see Hedwig sitting on the ledge as well. He wondered why she was there, he saw no packages or notes tied to her legs. Draco could only figure that it was her link to Harry as well that had brought her there to wait on him, although he couldn\'t entirely understand HOW the owl knew. The owl cast a cursory glance at the wolf and hooted again in greeting. Dreizhen cocked his already broad head at her and thumped his tail in acknowledgment. The cub was growing by leaps and bounds, and Draco had been dead on - he was going to be huge.

\"Well, at least you two getting along isn\'t going to be a problem after all,\"Draco told the animals. He and Harry (Oh gods, where was he?) had talked about the possibility that they may try and maul each other, yet they seemed to understand the purpose of the other. This was a good thing, at least. The animals both turned to look at him, their eyes seeming to say \'Of course we\'d get along, you dolt.\' The very idea that they could think that actually made Draco laugh, a laugh that was cut off though as an image of Harry being tortured in Azkaban for what he\'d done churned through his mind, making his breath hitch sharply as he shook the image from his mind.

\"Fuck,\"he exclaimed as he rolled to his side and scrambled for the whiskey. He didn\'t particularly want to be drunk as a skunk when - if - Harry came back, but he simply couldn\'t help himself. It made the wait just the tiniest bit more bearable, the worries easier to push aside and it did something to help quell the trembling, aching feeling he had on the inside.

Hermione had already come and gone two hours before, the worry in her eyes when she saw Harry hadn\'t came back yet further cementing Draco\'s own fear. He\'d convinced himself that if Hermione Granger was that worried; at that much of a loss as to what could be going on, then it couldn\'t be a taken as a good sign. She had waited for another hour and twenty minutes before becoming so uncomfortable with the silence and Draco\'s apparent drunken state that she had excused herself promising to come back later that night or sometime tomorrow. He\'d only taken a slug of whiskey, as though daring her to say anything to him and nodded his farewell. She had, indeed, opened her mouth to speak, but something had stopped her. Perhaps it had been the way he was sitting, his expression despondent and posture defeated. Soon though, she had vowed, when all of this was cleared up, she would speak with Harry about it. Seeing Draco the way she had, uncontrolled and utterly ambivalent to all around him other than the whiskey in his hand had really spurred her on to at least try and put a stop to it.

=*|*=

Please don\'t let them take him away, was Draco\'s thought as his eyes started to grow heavy from mental exhaustion and gross alcohol consumption. He was in complete turmoil as he began to drift into a fitful and unwanted sleep when the door finally opened to their darkened room. The light from the hall illuminated the figure in the doorway as a shadow, but he knew that shape and threw himself from the bed in rush. He practically tackled Harry who gave a tired laugh and wrapped him into his arms.

\"I was so scared,\"Draco spoke softly against Harry\'s shoulder as he trembled from head to toe. He felt safe again, complete and no longer alone,\"I thought the most horrible things, Harry, I thought they had taken you away forever. That I would never see you again.\"

Harry gently pushed Draco away to smile into his face,\"Let me shut the door, silly. Then we can talk.\"

\"Oh, right. Sorry,\"Draco said, blushing a little bit.

Harry turned and shut the door, resetting the locking and silencing charms, an act that had become as unconcious a habit to the pair as breathing. He then stooped to pet Dreizehn who scampered at his feet, tail wagging furiously as he playfully nipped the hem of Harry\'s robes. \"Hey there big fella, I missed you too,\"Harry chuckled,\"And you as well, my pretty girl,\" he finished as he took Draco\'s hand and went to the window where Hedwig perched expectantly. She cooed happily as he stroked the downy white feathers of her breast.

\"I see you all were having a regular worry wart convention,\"Harry said, turning to look at Draco who stared at him anxiously.

\"What did the Headmaster say?\"the blonde asked softly, dreading the answer.

\"Ahh, yes,\"was all Harry said in reply, which made Draco\'s heart lurch in his chest. Noticing Draco\'s expression, Harry leaned forward to brush his lips briefly in a soft kiss before he said,\"Don\'t look so scared, love, they\'re not expelling me. Or sending me up the river to Azkaban, either. Come sit and I\'ll tell you what happened.\"

Though Draco was more than relieved by that news, he was still apprehensive. Surely they were going to do something to Harry, he had seen the look on Dumbledore\'s face when he came to take Harry to his office. The man had not been pleased in the least. He allowed himself to be led to their bed, where Harry sat first then tugged him onto the mattress to sit in front of him. Draco leaned back into the comforting warmth of Harry\'s body and heaved a sigh of joy when his strong, lightly tanned arms wrapped around him and squeezed him closer.

\"First things first,\"Harry\'s soft voice came from behind him,\"Where\'s our bottle and how much have you already drank?\"

\"On the covers beside you, and well, a lot,\"Draco answered.

\"I thought you may\'ve, which will never do. Can\'t have you getting such a huge headstart on me,\" he joked before asking,\"You didn\'t do . . . anything . . . else did you?\"as he released one arm from Draco\'s body to dig in the rumpled covers for the whiskey. He hoped he sounded casual, but the truth was, the worry of Draco harming himself had haunted him endlessly since he\'d been taken away by Dumbledore. He\'d feared the worst when he had opened the door, relieved to find Draco only drunk and dishevelled, not to mention, half naked in the frosty room.

\"No, I promise,\"Draco answered, even struggling to right himself enough and pull his pant legs up to show Harry his calves. He wasn\'t sure how well he could see his pale limbs in the dark of the room, but he must\'ve been able to see enough; a quietly uttered \'thank Kali\' was proof of that.

Harry found the bottle and propped it beside himself before he grabbed his wand and cast a warming spell to dispel the chill from the air,\"Aren\'t you freezing?\"

\"Not at all,\"Draco replied, though he was also glad for the warmth that now began to fill the room,\"Why don\'t we ever use the fireplace?\"

\"One, because our trunks are all piled in front of it. Two, this room hadn\'t been used for so long before we moved in, I am not entirely sure it would work anyway,\"Harry answered,\"Now, snuggle back in and let\'s have a few drinks while I tell you what the Headmaster said.\"

\"Alright,\"Draco said, no longer entirely sure he wanted to know, but eager all the same to feel Harry\'s body against him and to hear his gentle voice tickling in his ear. That was Draco\'s idea of Heaven. Just he and Harry, together, talking and sharing a drink. It was a simple thing, really, but it meant so, so much to the blonde that it made his insides twist at the mere thought of never having that feeling again; of never having known it. What he\'d wanted for what felt like all eternity, he finally had and he wouldn\'t have traded it for all the coin in Gringott\'s. At least I have one good thing in my shitty excuse for a life, Draco told himself, but the cost to Harry had been so great, he still couldn\'t let himself go like he wanted to and be truly happy for what he - what they both, really - had.

As he settled back against Harry\'s firm chest once more, the green-eyed young man began to speak as he set the bottle aside after his first few blissful swallows,\"Dumbledore was livid about what happened, I have never seen him that unhappy before. Then, once I started to explain things to him, he calmed down considerably. You see, he thought we had used our wands, had been dueling even, which is what had him so angry. That, and well, they felt whatever it was that I did all over the castle. Which is part of the reason he and McGonagall got there as quickly as they did, though he was as vague as he ever is about how the knew exactly where to find us,\" Harry paused briefly for another drink, then continued, \"Dumbledore told me, too, that what I did caused some serious structural damage in the corridor we were in and areas immediately near to it, including the rooms directly beneath that hall. It may take them weeks to repair some of the damages I caused.\"

\"Damn,\"Draco said, once more in awe of what his lover was capable of doing,\"So he\'s not going to have you skinned alive after all?\"

\"No, he realizes that I couldn\'t help what happened, per se, but he\'s still terribly upset about Ron. You see, I very nearly killed him. He insisted on describing to me all the injuries I caused, including internal injuries and two small fractures to his skull . . . amongst other things. They have brought in a small team of healers from St. Mungos to assist Madam Pomfrey with, well, putting him back together again. Thing is, they still aren\'t sure how well he will recover, not only from the impact, but from the sheer force and strength of the magic that hit him. Though they say his chances improve by the hour,\"Harry finished, out of breath and feeling guilty for attacking Ron so viciously all over again. His intention hadn\'t been to kill him, he didn\'t think, it had only been to get him off of Draco. But, he admitted to himself, that in that instant he had wanted nothing more than to see Ron Weasley dead. Perhaps his subconcious desires had been what directed his magic and it was, as Professor McGonagall had said, truly a miracle he\'d lived. Harry exhaled, his breath coming out as an exhausted sigh. He was worn out. Things that day had gone from bad to worse and his capacity for coping with drama was sorely depleted. Harry was so happy to know that Draco hadn\'t hurt himself again, he felt if he had that would\'ve been the last straw and he\'d have gone stark raving mad.

\"Wow,\"Draco breathed, still trying to absorb the story Harry\'d just told him,\"So you aren\'t in any kind of trouble at all?\"

\"Oh, I am in trouble all right, for what I did to Ron, although it wasn\'t completely intentional and also for not learning to control my magic as I have been told to do so from day one, more or less,\"Harry said, stroking Draco\'s hair as he spoke,\"Dumbledore told me that if something like this happened again and I did kill someone, that there could be nothing done for me, I would have to be punished since I would be a murderer, directly or not. Yet, and this is almost funny, when I asked him how I could learn to control it, he told me \'I\'m not sure yet, Harry, but I will try to find a way, until then, practice more control over your emotions since that is exactly what set it loose to begin with.\' I can\'t stop feeling the things I do just for the sake of others, can I? I mean . . . can I? Gods, I sound so selfish but I wouldn\'t be myself anymore, I\'d be empty.\"

\"I wouldn\'t think so, no. Nor do I think you\'re being selfish. You can\'t stop being who you are, Harry, that\'s impossible. Besides, this was an isolated incident brought on by stress and extreme circumstances. It probably won\'t happen again, so don\'t worry about it. If Dumbledore finds a way, then that\'s great, but until then, try not to beat your head against a wall in vain,\"Draco told him, turning his head to nuzzle Harry\'s shoulder,\"What\'s your punishment, then?\"

\"My punishment is cleaning cauldrons for Snape, which is super original. The other part is that I have to help remove the debris from the reconstruction efforts where I caused damage. Seems they\'ll be tearing out some things and rebuilding them, not to mention the damaged paintings and statuary. The icing on the cake is I\'ll be supervised by none other than Filch,\"Harry grimaced.

\"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,\"Draco grumbled,\"That\'s too much. Filch? You have to work with that mongoloid piece of shit?\"

\"Not with him, Draco, for him,\"Harry miserably corrected,\"Seems he\'ll get his revenge on me for what I said to him over the holidays after all.\"

\"Like hell he will!\"Draco retorted, thoroughly pissed now,\"I\'ll make sure of it. I\'ll be there with you, I won\'t let him forget my little \'threat\'.\"

\"You\'re being irrational, you were just bluffing and you know that,\"Harry said, though he was happy to see Draco getting angry about something, it was a vast improvement from his usual despondent apathy concerning most things.

\"Yes, but Fuckhead Filch doesn\'t know that, does he?\"Draco asked, his eyes narrowing to cat-like slits in his face,\"And I most certainly am not irrational. I\'m as level headed as they come.\"

Harry laughed out loud right then, Draco joining in having said that last part to try and break the tension. Thankfully, it worked. Continuing on he said,\"Furthermore, Harry Potter, that is not funny. I am calm, collected and smooth. Always. Fuck all, I am the poster boy for perfect mental health,\"he couldn\'t go on with that, Harry\'s laughter had become a howl and Draco\'s whole body shook with pent up giggles as well. It may\'ve been self deprecatory, but to make Harry laugh like that made it all worthwhile.

Calming down a bit, but still gasping for breath, Harry pulled Draco tight to him and placed a soft kiss on the nape of his neck,\"You know, it\'s really not something to laugh about, Draco, you shouldn\'t make fun of yourself that way.\"

\"Pfft,\"was all Draco said, still grinning a bit,\"I can make fun of myself all I want. I know the real truth Harry, but being so serious about it all the time makes for more depression than I want to deal with. It\'s like letting the monster in my head win, you know?\"

\"Yeah, I suppose I do,\"Harry murmured, his fingers stroking Draco\'s smooth chest.

Turning slightly in his arms, Draco gave a small smile and pressed a kiss on Harry\'s pretty mouth,\"I love you so much. Sometimes it\'s almost scary.\"

\"It\'s the same for me, I don\'t know what I would do if something happened to you,\"Harry responded, forcing himself not to shiver as the feel of Draco\'s blood soaked body in the dream came to haunt him for a moment,\"It would be like losing a part of myself. Had someone told me this was going to happen five some odd years ago, I would\'ve laughed at them.\"

\"I wouldn\'t have laughed,\"Draco softly spoke,\"I wanted you for so very long, I just thought it was a pipe dream that I\'d actually get you. I think, sometimes, this is all some wonderfully strange dream. But if it is, I don\'t think I ever want to wake up. How\'s that for sentimental fucking nonsense?\"

\"It may be sentimental, but I love it just the same,\"Harry said, giving Draco\'s thin body a firm squeeze,\"You\'re my everything now. You\'re really all I think I want anymore, all the rest pales in comparison.\"

Draco grinned again before fully turning in Harry\'s arms. The position was awkward and a tad uncomfortable to be twisted around like that, but he had the overwhelming desire to look into the mossy green pools of Harry\'s eyes. The room was dim, but he could see those eyes just fine and he wanted, just like always, to drown himself in them,\"You certainly know how to flatter a guy,\"he spoke, his voice husky from emotion and too much drink.

\"Do I? I always thought I was totally charmless,\"Harry laughed quietly, knowing what the somewhat feral gleam in Draco\'s eyes meant.

As the slight chill that still lingered in the air slid against his warm back Draco whispered,\"Kiss me, I\'m cold.\"

Happy to oblige, Harry kissed Draco, his tongue slipping against the blonde\'s smooth, supple lips before sliding it into his warm, wet mouth. A small whimper of pleasure from Draco was muffled against the seal of their lips as Harry\'s hand came up to slide through his pale hair and tenderly cup the side of his paler face. Their cocks grew harder with each second that their whiskey-soaked tongues tangled against each other. Gathering Draco close to him Harry rolled them both into laying positions, their young bodies colliding against one another with urgency. This wasn\'t a time for long, drawn out sex and they both instinctively knew it. The upsets of the day and all the stress simply didn\'t allow for it. They both needed an outlet, a wild, brazen outlet for their frustrations and sadnesses.

Pulling away, gasping, Harry tore his clothes off, flinging them to the four corners even as Draco squirmed his way out of his jeans. Kicking them to the floor he lay back and Harry moved over him, his broader, muscular body effectively covering the taller, yet thinner young man\'s. He pressed his weight down on Draco and grabbed his wrists, pulling them over his head, making the blonde quiver beneath him. He loved it when Harry was so rough, so animalistic, it was the kind of sex he loved; that he craved.

\"Make it quick, Harry, please,\"Draco writhed under him, aching, wanting to feel Harry\'s length stretching and pounding into him.

Releasing one of Draco\'s wrists, Harry hurriedly covered his hand with saliva, slicking his cock with spit. He was trembling with need as well, he\'d never felt such urgency within himself, nor had he ever seen Draco so wanton. His body beneath him was hot and it made his own skin flush with heat. His prick now thoroughly wet, he used his hand to pull Draco\'s legs up to his shoulders, opening the fair boy to him. Without pretense he shoved inside of the blonde, barely having enough sense in his head to try and be at least somewhat gentle. Draco\'s soft cries of desire spurred him own and it wasn\'t long until he was buried to the hilt inside of his lover. Slamming his cock into Draco\'s tight, dark hole, he grunted with the effort of his forceful thrusts. The fine hairs of the back of Draco\'s thighs tickled him pleasantly as he leant forward, pressing himself deep into his gorgeous boyfriend. Still holding Draco\'s thin wrists with one hand he used his other to brace himself on the bed.

Harry\'s body was soon soaked with sweat, even though the room was growing cool once more as a breeze from outside poured through the window. He could feel Draco\'s swollen cock brushing against his belly, streaking it with precum. Draco\'s body strained, moving in time with Harry\'s furious thrusts. His head was bent back, his mouth an O of pleasure, the feel of Harry and the friction all worked to send him spiraling ever higher into ecstasy.

\"Harry, fuck me, Harry. I want to feel your come inside of me,\"Draco moaned out as Harry\'s ragged breath signaled he was close. It had only been a few moments since they\'d fallen on each other like a couple of wild, lust crazed savages, yet it felt like an eternity had passed. He wanted the sweet bliss of an orgasm and the sweeter bliss of Harry\'s come filling his tight ass.

\"Draco!\"Harry\'s voice was an urgent whisper that came between teeth that were clenched so hard that it nearly hurt. Draco\'s hoarse cry was loud when he came that it was almost a scream. Harry shivered in pleasure as he felt Draco\'s warm seed splash his taut belly. It took only two or three more hard thrusts and Harry was moaning and shaking as his come jetted from him and into Draco\'s body in hot, white ropes. He collapsed atop the still moaning blonde, unmindful of the sticky come that covered them both. They lay twined together, nipping and nuzzling each other gently until the shaking from the sheer exertion brought on by their orgasms subsided.

Finally moving aside and pulling the limp blonde with him, Harry worked his way under the covers and waited for Draco to do the same. A hard, cold lump pressing into the small of his back made Harry crease his brow in momentary puzzlement until he recalled that the whiskey had been on the bed, too. How it\'d gotten under the covers was beyond him, but he shrugged it away, glad that it hadn\'t been knocked to the floor and broken.

Draco wormed his way into a comfortable position and lay on his side watching Harry with slightly bleary, content eyes. Having pulled the bottle from behind him, Harry drank a bit before chuckling a little and saying,\"What the hell happened? One minute we\'re kissing and the next . . . we\'re . . .,\"he trailed off and cleared his throat, as ever hesitant to say \'fucking\' when it came to their sex life for some reason, but Draco\'s brow arching in amusement drove him on,\"Fucking like a couple of lunatics.\"

\"And what a fuck it was,\"Draco grinned, knowing he\'d be some kind of sore the next day,\"Don\'t question it, Harry, lust has no rules I don\'t think.\"

One corner of Harry\'s mouth quirked in a half-smile as he said,\"Yeah, I suppose so. I think I like lust.\"

Laughing, Draco scooted closer to Harry and propped his head against Harry\'s chest,\"I believe I may be a fan myself.\"

Reaching over the table Harry fumbled in the dark with the bottle dangling from his hand searching for a clear spot to plunk it down on. He was simply too tired and felt too lazy to bother with moving to open the drawer. Finding a spot after what felt like an hour, he wrapped both arms around Draco who snuggled closer to him with a contented murmur,\"Let\'s try and get some sleep. When do you have to start with your punishment, by the way?\"

\"I start with Snape tomorrow, Filch on Monday,\"Harry replied somewhat sulkily. He began to run his fingers through Draco\'s fine hair to soothe himself,\"You go on to sleep, I\'m not quite ready to do so myself,\"Harry fibbed, he was exhausted, but he had grown to fear sleep and what it held for him.

\"You have to be worn out,\"Draco chided.

\"I\'m tired, yes, just not sleepy,\"Harry lied again.

\"Mmm,\"Draco muttered, already drifting off himself.

Before long he was sleeping quietly, his breath warm against Harry\'s skin. Harry stared up into the darkness, willing himself to stay awake. He could hear every sound he thought. The slight sounds of Draco\'s breathing, a small sneeze from where Dreizehn lay curled near the foot of the bed on the floor, the sound of Hedwig\'s wings fluttering as she turned on the windowsill to leave, most likely to hunt. But soon, all the little sounds were gone and there was only the sound of the music from the stereo to distract him. He willed himself to listen to the lyrics of the song carefully, to hear every nuance of the singer\'s voice and tried to pick out the sounds of each individual instrument. Yet even that wasn\'t enough, he barely heard half of the song before his eyes grew too heavy to hold open. Soon he drifted off to sleep, much to his semi-concious dismay, the strains of the song following him as he attempted to cling to its words. Mother of night, your sons of the dirt bless you . . . was the last thing he heard before he was lost in the hell his sleep had become.

A/N: This is nothing spectacular, just a little fluff and a fuck to try and lighten the mood a wee bit. They needed a bit of break I think. But, stay tuned, things won\'t stay that way forever. Oh, and don\'t pay TOO much mind to the chapter title, just the name of the song I was listening to at the moment . . . a cover of Depeche Mode\'s \"Sweetest Perfection\" done by The Deftones. Not that that matters at all. Why did I just type all of that about a song? Hmm . . .

A little explanation on why Hermione didn\'t just talk to Draco about their boozing: She doesn\'t really know him all that well and I\'d like to flatter myself and think that even she wouldn\'t be so tactless as to launch into a lecture to someone she barely knows. They\'re getting closer as friends, but still . . . not that close. And frankly, I\'d be pissed if someone I didn\'t know all that well decided to give me some big speech about my bad habits.

Anywho, I hope y\'all liked this slight reprieve/interlude. Please let me know what you think. You guys are amazing . . . almost have 300 reviews on this. I\'d love to see this chapter be the one that pushes it over. And hell, I may even try and do something special for my 300th reviewer. You can tell me if you want to see anything in particular in the next chapter or something. How\'s that?