Be Careful in the Dark

Hermione came to on the cold tile floor of a bathroom. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision. The room wobbled in front of her. When it finally stabilized a bit, she pulled herself up on one elbow. She held her other arm in front of her and stared. Her muscles were trembling minutely and small spots of red were appearing and disappearing in circular patterns. She looked closer and shuddered. The capillaries in her skin appeared to be bursting and then… unbursting… in patterns that rippled like water after a stone was dropped in it.

“Merlin, what has happened? What do I do?” She whispered into the quiet room. She struggled to her knees and then gripped the edge of the marble counter, using it to pull herself off. Her vision was still not working right and she had a horrible headache. She glanced at herself in the mirror and then stared. The bleeding seemed to have stopped but the weird pattern of red was all over her skin. And her pupils were slowly dilating open and closed… in opposition to one another. As her left pupil expanded, her right pupil contracted.

I need help. Shit, shit, shit. Who can I go to? She ran through a list of names and then shook her head. First, she needed to clean up her mess and get the hell out of here. She had a plan in place already. She just needed to tweak it a little.

She limped into the bedroom of her suite and looked at the corpse of Gregory Titov. She still felt such a flush of love when she looked at him that it was disturbing. This “heart’s desire” spell had not done what she had expected it to. She summoned her wand and pointed it at his body. Titov had to vanish, not die. There could be no trail for his compatriots to follow. No revenge to enact on anyone. She spoke the spell and pointed, his body vanishing with a pop. She’d moved his body so deep in the earth that he would never be found. She closed her eyes as pain blossomed in her chest.

Next she gathered up her things, got dressed and purified the room as she left. She was leaving a huge magic trail but it was too late now. The Dark magic she had pulled from him had left a mark as it had dispersed and there was nothing she could do to change that. All she could do was cover her tracks as best she could.

She checked out of the hotel room and as she did it, she gently touched the wrist of the night desk clerk. He stared at her with glazed eyes. It was a small spell, designed to make details hard to remember. She had keyed it to her appearance in the hopes that the staff would not remember who exactly she had been. He would leave traces of this spell on anything he touched, as would anyone else who picked it up for the next seven days. If she had been in control of her body, she would have set this spell in motion when she arrived. As it was, she could only hope this would be enough.

Hermione walked out of the hotel, still looking like Genevieve Rawlins. If anything, her headache was worse and she was starting to feel nauseous. She still hadn’t decided where she was going to go. When she was a block or so from the hotel, she ducked into an alley and pulled out her wand. She muttered a quiet spell and it released with a low whomp. The lights flickered and then held steady. A few blocks away, an alarm sounded. The spell she had just cast would have erased all the security tapes for the past two days in a five block radius. The spell should have also created a glitch in the computer systems that made accessing information from the past two days impossible. It was the best she could do to cover her tracks.

Feeling more ill with every passing moment, she pulled a port key from her pocket and activated. The tug at her navel did not help her feel better and when she arrived at her destination, she leaned over and vomited.

I could go to Harry. She fingered the bracelet on her arm. Shit, Harry would come to her. But then she would probably have to explain herself and she wasn’t sure he could actually help her. Same thing with Ron. Dumbledore would definitely be able to help her but Dumbledore would undoubtedly demand an explanation. No. There really was only one choice. With a sigh, she apparated to Snape’s property.

She arrived, feeling grateful she hadn’t splinched herself. The pain was somehow dull and sharp at the same time and she dropped to her knees. Putting one hand on her chest, Hermione tried to get control over her breathing and slow her heart rate down.

Snape didn’t allow her to arrive anywhere she pleased. Normally she would apparate somewhere outside of his property before hiking in. He would try to catch her and she would try to evade him. This time she didn’t bother with subtlety. She apparated to the edge of his property and prayed that he would arrive soon. It felt like her stomach was trying to lead a revolt and abandon her body, taking most of her upper intestine with it.

When Snape appeared with a pop, she almost sobbed in relief. There had been no way she could have made it to his home alone.

“We are not scheduled to meet. What are you doing on my property?” He demanded. For one fleeting moment, she wondered how he always knew it was her. The thought came and went as the pain in her body sharpened. Hermione wet her lips and tried to speak. Nothing came out except a dry squeak. With a sound of annoyance, Snape knelt down and grabbed her arm. Then he stopped, moving closer. He hissed in surprise as he saw her eyes and skin.

“You’ve done something to release Dark Magic.” He looked closer. “Quite a bit of it, too. That or you’ve released the magic uncontrolled. What have you been doing?” He shook her as he asked the last question. Hermione shook her head and tried to keep her dinner down.

Severus snarled the question again, shaking her even harder. With a wan smile, she said “Swimming in the dark,” and then she leaned forward and threw up on his shoes. Snape jumped back, drawing his lips over his teeth in disgust.

“And then you apparated here?” He asked, cleaning his shoes with a fastidious wave of his wand. Hermione nodded. “You stupid child! You’ve made it worse. We need to get you to St. Mungo’s right now.”

Hermione tried to shake her head vehemently but the nausea made her settled for a small movement of her head.

“You could die.” Snape relied flatly.

Hermione shook her head. “They can’t know. No one can know.”

“You mean your precious identity?” Snape sneered down at her. Hermione glared back. He waved his fingers delicately in her direction and said, “I’ve already figured that out.”

Hermione stared at him. She felt the spell shift and looked down to see her own hands. She felt her mouth drop open and looked up to see Snape smiling smugly. She let her laughter bubble up and burst out of her until she was almost choking on it. The laughter was from panic but there was no need for him to know that.

“Hermione Granger? Seriously? You’ve really got a hard on for this girl. What’s the deal?” She shook her head, still laughing a little bit. Snape’s face had closed down on itself, his lips pinched so tight they were turning white around the edges. As the laughter died down, she felt something dark and cold swell up to take its place. “I used a heart’s desire spell, you know. And you do desire her, don’t you?” Hermione smirked, running one hand down her chest. “You’ve thought about doing such things to her, she’d die if she knew.” Hermione licked her lips and continued speaking even though she didn’t even know why she was saying any of this. The words left a cold, slimy feeling behind that coated her throat and mouth. “Is that why you want me to be her? So you can feel better at night about how many times you’ve thought of her and jerked off?”

Snape had turned red and his mouth was working in anger. He took several steps forward, his eyes glittering with rage. Hermione thought he was actually going to hit her but he stopped himself. Instead, he dragged her up off her knees by her arm and began dragging her back to his house.

“When you fool around with magic, when you take no sensible precautions like the puerile, brainless, little nitwit you are, you open yourself up to the dark. You have placed yourself in incredible danger and if keeping your secrets is so important, fine. I don’t care one whit if you die you useless, selfish, arrogant brat.” Snape bit off each word and did not look at her while he spoke.

Severus was almost dragging her across the lawn and Hermione didn’t stop him. He was going to do what he could. That was enough. And she wasn’t going to die, whatever he said. Her fate lay elsewhere though how she knew that was beyond her. For a moment, she heard whispers and felt like there was something she should remember. Then the pain rolled up and that was all she could think about.

On some level, she was aware of entering the cabin and being dragged up to a bedroom. Mostly, though, all she could think about was the pain. Her entire body felt like a cramp and her senses were becoming more sensitive. The cotton of the bedspread was almost unbearably scratchy and it seemed as if Snape’s heartbeat would drown her. Or was it her heartbeat?

She was underwater, she was drowning. The sound of the ocean hammered her. She panted, feeling like her breath couldn’t come fast enough. She heard Snape tell her to control her breathing but Hermione could barely hear him through the din of voices? Voices? Were there voices? She tried to focus on one and found the sounds slipped away. She tried to focus on her breathing and the sound roared back over her, hammering her. Hermione put her hands over her ears and screamed.

She felt a line of heat across her back and thought it might be Snape. She tried to cling to that, like a lifeline. But the ocean of voices demanded she keep her promise. She had made no promise. What promise? Remember was the demand she got in reply and she wept because she couldn’t.

When she came to, it was dark. She sat up, very slowly, blinking to adjust her eyes to the dark room around her. A shadow moved and Snape lit a candle. The smell of sulfur followed. He walked closer, holding a glass of water that caught the light in faint shimmers. Hermione held out her hand, feeling immense gratitude for his assistance.

As she gulped the water down, she took stock of her situation. The spell was done and she was herself again. She thought she could get out of this situation and leave him uncertain but it was going to be tricky; Snape already knew it was her on some level.

“I’m sorry… for the things I said.” She said, her voice sounding hoarse.

“You have never gotten a dose of Dark magic, have you?” His voice came, silky and cold.

She shook her head and then realized her probably couldn’t see her very well so she spoke instead. “No.”

His only response was to tsk his tongue at her.

“You do seem to have an… unusually soft spot… for the girl. For someone of your nature, I mean.” Hermione let her words stumble but kept a bit of barb in the comment. The best defense was a good offense.

The silence drew out between them Hermione mentally shrugged. It had been a gamble at best. She stared blankly into the dark. If only she knew she could trust him, it would be nice to set the burden of all these secrets down. She sighed. It was impossible. She had made her bed when she chose this path and she would just have to lie in it.

“She reminds me of someone.” Snape said and Hermione started. She hadn’t really expected him to answer. “Someone who should have lived.”

“I see.” She replied and kept her tone neutral. She let the silence draw out and for a few minutes before she asked, “Why does it matter who I am?”

Snape drew in a sharp breath and then replied, “You cannot be trusted.”

She laughed, bitterness rising up in her chest. “You’re one to talk. What are you doing working for the Order, Severus? What reason does anyone have to trust your conversion? The only person who claims to know is Dumbledore and everyone else has to go on faith.”

He remained silent for a few moments and Hermione could feel him staring at her. At last he said, “And yet I do have someone to vouch for me. You have no one.”

Hermione sneered at him, ignoring the fact he couldn’t see her. What a smug bastard! “As far as you know. Dumbledore has games within games and Harry is learning to do the same. My information is good and you know it so bloody back off!” She put some heat into her last words, willing herself to sound different than she normally did. She had clearly gotten too comfortable around him.

“What promise did you make?” Severus replied, sighing.

Hermione frowned at him. She didn’t know what he was talking about and there was something about that sigh that bothered her. What did he have to sigh about? “I don’t what you mean.”

“You have been talking while you recovered. You’ve promised something to someone very powerful.”

“I don’t know what I promised.” Hermione said, and even to her she sounded scared and uncertain.

“I suggest you figure it out. Try not to splinch yourself when you leave.” Severus said and Hermione could see the outline of him gather up his robes and leave.

She swung her feet carefully over the edge of the bed and carefully stood. She didn’t understand Severus Snape. He kept so many secrets that it was impossible to know what was real and what wasn’t. Kind of like me. She giggled, feeling worn and thin, at the fact that she and Severus Snape had things in common.

Hermione prepared to apparate, already making lists in her head of the things she needed to do in the next few days.