To Teach

Disclaimer: Same as the 25 chapters before...

A/N: For my reviewers:

Phoenix Black: They open a bit more this chapter and we finda few more things out.

Relic: Many thanks lady! This is mostly angst, too, but there\'s a giggle or two in it.

DarkRose12: There\'s a bit of angst here, too, but it\'s all leading up to some hot, hot, hot smut. =D

Papaya: I threw you off lady! Sev\'s dad didn\'t get lonely, it\'s much, much worse.

Irihi Safaia: Thanks. This chapter\'s a bit better.

Mai Malfoy: Thanks! This chapter is along the same lines as last, but it\'s going to lead to some super hot smut! Promise!

yana: Thanks! Here you go!!

antipyro: The last chapter was so hard to write. My heart was breaking for those two. This chapter is a bit angsty, also, but I think it flows better. There will definately be at least one more chapter of smut before the end. Thanks so much for the CC!!

mirestelfea: There\'s more in this chapter.

Jessica: Thanks. There\'ll be a little more of that, but later in the story.

Morgan LeFay: Thanks!! Here\'s the next chapter!

wanessa: I want to thank you for saying that about Sev\'s past. I really haven\'t thoughta bout it, but I was just piling bad on worse, really. LOL! You find out more in this chapter...

miststalker: He is rather fluffy, isn\'t he? LOL! Thanks for the review.

mirestelfea: This chappie is leading to hot smut in a chapter or two. *growls seductively*

Velvetina: *glomps and gives a basket of virtual cookies* YOU\'RE MY HUNDRETH REVIEWER!! *squees happily* Yeah, I decided to put it at HP Fandom. I\'ve actually got several things there that aren\'t on AFF. =) All of Maggie\'s Snarry fics are excellent! She\'s one of my favorite authors on the net!!! I\'ve gotten quite a few people tell me my Snape\'s fluffy, and you telling me you like him just makes my day. Many thanks and lots of hugs!!

Morgan LeFay: *cowers* Here\'s your update...


LAST TIME:

“My mother was put in an arranged marriage with him and she took the whole ordeal with more grace than most pure-bloods. While he was out terrorizing the half-bloods and muggles she was at home dutifully taking care of the finances and the manor. She brewed many different healing potions for father after his exploits.

“When he would come in injured or cursed, she would gently guide him into the bath she’d draw for him and quietly wash him from head to toe before administering any potions or healing salves he needed.

“Eventually, my sister and I came along, and thought father never actually said anything, I think he despised us being twins. That came from my mother’s side of the family. He really wasn’t around much, and didn’t have anything to do with us unless it was discipline. He was exceptionally strict with us and many times he tortured my mother as punishment for something we did.

“The summer before my sister and I were to attend Hogwarts, she and I were making mischief, much like twins do, and we broke an old vase. For what ever reason, father was home and he caught us before we could have mother repair it. He used crutacius on Fae and made me watch. I’ll never forget him telling me that petulant women should be dealt with accordingly. My mother swooped into the room at my sisters screams and immediately hexed my father and grabbed my sister, carrying her into the bathroom.

“Fae didn’t survive that night. My mother didn’t either. Father was so angry that my mother would undermine his disciplinary actions in my presence that he took her to the Dark Lord to be dealt with. I don’t know what happened, but at daylight, he stumbled in and collapsed on his bed.

Harry was staring at his mate with a horrified look on his face. “Yes, Harry, every day growing up was like that. I had to deal with a maniac for a father and the loss of my twin and mother at once. It’s no small wonder that I’ve made it to my forties without going insane. That summer was bad, but after I got into Hogwarts, they got worse. I’d rather not discuss it right now, though.”

Harry opened his arms for his lover in a gesture of comfort, but Severus just shook his head and got up. Obviously, telling the story of his mother and sister disturbed him and he needed time. The young man got up and instead of following Snape, went to the kitchen. He had the house elves make him a sandwich and instructed Tizzie to make sure that Severus ate something, no matter where he was, or what he was doing.

With that done, Harry made his way out into the garden. He wandered through the roses and stood in front of the large fountain. Harry had spent many days sitting on the edge writing, letting the sound of the rushing water calm him. This day, though, no peace was coming.

He walked the labyrinth and shed his shirt in the afternoon in an attempt to meditate. After several hours out in the hot sun, Harry’s shoulder’s turned a delicate pink and began to burn. He sighed and walked back in the castle. Upstairs in his room, on his bed, he found his lover.

Severus was fast asleep and his dreams did not appear to be pleasant ones. Harry hesitated before lying down beside the older man. It was only a moment, though, that his lover wrapped his arm around him and nuzzled his shoulder. Harry gingerly cupped the sleeping man’s cheek, feeling the dried trail of tears. “Severus,” he whispered, “I’ll do everything in my power to show you that you are loved. No pain, no hurt, only love.”

Several hours later, the older man woke feeling safer than he had in a good long while. He was lying across a bare muscular chest with two strong arms wrapped securely around him. The smell of sweat and summer assaulted his nostrils. He smiled and stretched, knowing the scent of his Harry by heart. “You’re awake?”

Severus looked into the concerned green eyes above him. “I am,” he answered cautiously.

“Are you feeling better?”

A sigh was the only answer. Harry smoothed the long hair of his lover and ran his hand gently up his side. “You know, I flash to, Severus. Will you tell me about it so next time I’ll know the trigger?”

“You’ve had flashbacks?” Snape asked timidly, his voice small.

“I do still on occasion, but mine usually aren’t quite as violent as your were. Sometimes, I zone out. Other times, I may go days where everything I eat or drink tastes like blood or I get cold and can’t shake it. Hermione helped me figure out the triggers for some of them. Others, I’ve had to figure out by myself. She taught me how to analyze them and my reaction. Will you tell me about yours so I’ll know not to do whatever I did again?”

“I don’t know if I can, Harry,” he replied, sounding frightened of the prospect.

With a kiss on the older man’s crown, Harry replied, “Yes you can Severus. Would it be easier if I asked questions?”

“No, I…” his voice sounded resigned.

Harry hugged him tighter. “It’s okay. Would you like me to tell you about one of mine?”

A headshake on his sunburned chest was the answer. “Do you remember Christmas break of my seventh year when I was captured? I spent the whole week naked and in a cold, damp dungeon room in Malfoy Manor. I was not restrained, but every time a Death Eater would come in to feed me, I’d get beat for everything whoever it was, was worth. They broke my fingers, my nose, and they even knocked out a few teeth. For a week, the taste of blood was the only constant, that and the blood chilling cold. I still don’t know how I managed to survive the cold.

“I flash to that week sometimes, and the taste of blood fills my mouth, my nostrils. I try to shake it, but more times than not, I only have to endure it. On occasion, I flash to one of my many years in the cupboard. Those aren’t violent like yours, but I may spend hours huddled in a corner crying, whimpering to myself about being hungry. Severus, you and I aren’t very different,” he said with a hint of sadness.

“I know,” the tall wizard replied and he cuddled closer to Harry. “I just…”

“Please, just tell me about what you saw in your flashback. Wouldn’t you agree that’s a good place to start?”

Severus again shook his head. Taking a deep breath, he began, “I was fourteen, and it was the summer after my third year at Hogwarts. My father had been ruthless all summer with his ‘discipline’, wearing me down. On the fifteenth of July, he dragged me from the manor practically kicking and screaming. He petrified and silenced me before laying me before the Dark Lord’s feet. He offered me to that bastard. Luckily for me, this offended the Dark Lord, offering him a young boy for his concubine. He would have much more enjoyed my sister had she been alive. I watched with glee as my father was tortured to insanity and then killed with an almost bored sounding Avada. The Dark Lord then did the one thing that I wasn’t expecting. He gave me to his most loyal second generation Death Eater, a twenty-one year old Lucius Malfoy.

“The first week at the manor was not…unpleasant. Lucius provided for my every whim. He cleared out one of the dungeon rooms and bought me the best potions equipment. I truly felt welcome as that week ended. The next week, though, was a different story. I’d just finished brewing a healing potion when he dragged me from my lab by my hair. He…I was…” Severus’ voice cracked and his voice hitched.

Harry’s heart broke at hearing that that psycho brutalized his love. At that moment, he thanked every deity he could name that Lucius was given the Dementor’s kiss. He let his lover cry. He knew the soul-cleansing feel of a good cry and held Severus.

When his body wracking sobs stilled and became sniffles, Harry tipped his chin up and wiped his face. Severus kept his eyes trained down. “Better?” Harry asked.

“Not really,” was the answer from the now sullen man. “You probably think me to be broken, now.”

Hugging him, Harry whispered, “No more broken that I am.”

Severus looked up and noticed the scar on Harry’s shoulder. It was obviously the one that Hermione had told him about. He reached up a shaking hand and traced it. The green-eyed man closed his eyes. When he opened them, he saw the unasked question in Severus’ eyes. “I cut myself in seventh year.”

“Why?”

It was Harry’s turn to sigh. “I suppose the physical pain distracted me from the unending emotional torture I was experiencing. Had it not been for Hermione finding me, I probably would have killed myself that morning. She held me and just let me cry. When she healed it, I made her leave the scar. That day, I think I hit rock bottom. We ended up talking in my bunk for most of the day. She convinced me of only one thing that day. She told me that no matter what happened when the war ended, that when I needed her, she’d be there because she loved me, and she set out to prove it.” By this time, tears were coursing down Harry’s cheeks. “She proved to me a long time ago just what a true friend is. I think she’s the reason that I finally beat him.”

Harry wiped his tears away and smiled down at his lover. “You know that she wants me to bring you to her club. She was telling me that she’s made quite a few changes since it first opened.”

Severus gave Harry a sheepish smile. “I’ve never been one to enjoy clubs, Harry. I’m curious, though, what’s the name of it? I don’t recall her mentioning it.”

“Have you heard of ‘Orgy’?”

Severus sat up and looked at Harry, surprise clearly written on his face. “’Orgy’? You mean the hottest BDSM club in wizarding England?”

Harry chuckled. “Yes, one in the same. How do you know about it?”

“Your pet werewolf dragged me to that club every weekend for months trying to rouse the attentions of Mistress Khrystal. He swore he knew her scent, but it was different every time we went. You should have seen him, on his knees, groveling at her feet.”

Harry started laughing and was quickly curled up in a ball, tears of mirth streaming down his face. “He was trying to get Hermione to notice him at the club?”

The older man looked at his laughing lover and quirked an eyebrow. “Miss Granger is Mistress Khrystal? That explains the different glamours every night.”

Harry sobered a bit and shook his head. “Exactly. The only way you knew who she was was the…”

“…white Chihuahua she always carried,” the men finished together.

“Since you went with Remus, would you be interesting in going, just once, with me? I’m sure she’d be delighted.”

Severus felt marginally better since the subject had been changed, and shook his head. Harry grinned as he stretched out again on the bed. A cool, pale hand ran up his chest. “You’re sunburned.”

“I’ll be fine,” Harry replied, holding that hand over his heart.

Pulling Harry from the bed, Severus led him down to the potions lab. He took a deep breath before stepping over the threshold. Leading him over to the large workstation, the tall wizard picked up the stool he’d knocked over earlier and sat Harry down on it. The young man sighed, resigned to his fate. He patiently waited until his lover came back with a small tub of cream.

Severus opened the highly scented cream and began to gently spread it onto Harry’s chest, shoulders, and back, causing the skin to almost immediately turn a golden brown. “Better?” Severus asked.

Harry smiled and kissed his cheek. “Much,” he said quietly.

The next two weeks went mostly the same way. Both men danced around the other, almost afraid to say or do anything for fear of causing a flashback or worse. They spent many hours in each other’s company, though, each trying to reassure themselves and each other that the other wasn’t damaged enough to not be loved. Many declarations of love were exchanged along with gentle kisses.

When they made their return to Hogwarts, both men were content to forget the episode just after Harry’s birthday and live fully in the moment, not in the past. Severus had even consented to go to Hermione’s club the Friday before the term began. Things were getting back, more or less, to normal for the two dark haired wizards.